Yesterday I introduced the three most popular conditions that I hear about when it comes to tummy issues and I did it in a very “basic information” sort of way.   You can find a ton of info out there about them but most of the information is very general in that all the sites sort of say the same thing.  Any time someone wants to tell me to “eat better” as a way to fix the issue, I tend to tune them out because we, on a whole, have already solved that problem.  This then sends me on a hunt as to what may also be the issue or what may be the alternate remedy.  The other thing is that I am not really interested in solving the problem with an Over The Counter drug simply because if we are working this hard to eat clean and exercise, an OTC seems out of place in our lives.  We tend to want a natural remedy that reflects our more natural type of lifestyle.  This brings me to today’s post.  I am not about to give you a host of remedies, I think that would not be cool; But I am going to show you how detailed you can be about what you are going through and that it really benefits you to be in tune with your symptoms.

If you ever have the pleasure (I say that with a giggle) to speak with me, you will find that you cannot say something to me in passing and I just let it go.  I have been told that I am a dog with a bone, worse than someone’s mother, a pitbull and so on when it comes to your health and what you think is nothing is typically something.  There’s also no such thing as TMI in my book.  Please…keep that in mind.  I will ask you ALL kinds of questions if I think that there is something fishy going on.  I always say this, and I do mean this, I am not a doctor.  What I am is an air traffic controller and I am here to keep you from ignoring the big pink elephant in the room.

This is why I am about to provide the following two lists for you, because if you could, you would just ignore what your body is telling you and just keep trying to lose weight.  But here is another thing I always say, ‘only healthy people can lose weight.’  If you are backed up or leaking like a cracked pipe, you can forget changing your body composition.  Your body has priorities and healing is number 1.  Not weight loss.    You may think the occasional bout of constipation, diarrhea, gas or bloating is no big deal, but maybe you’ll think differently if you know it comes with other symptoms.   The following two lists are different ways each of the 2 conditions can manifest in your body.  Each bullet point is its own manifestation.  You should only have one bullet point.  If you have more than one, get to a doc even faster.  The lists come from Prescription for Natural Cures by James Balch MD, Mark Stengler MD and Robin Balch ND, 2004.

Constipation

• Going days without going and when you finally do it’s hard and dry.  You also have sudden, noticeable memory issues.
• No desire to go at all and when you do it’s hard and dry.  This comes with great thirst, irritability and you may have a headache.
• Chronic constipation with chills and clammy hands.  You may also feel overwhelmed.
• Constipation with bloating and bad gas.  Cravings for sweets are out of control and symptoms are worse in late afternoon.  You feel better when you drink something warm.
• Constipation with a strong craving for salt and water.  You may be depressed and also light sensitive.
• Having an urgent feeling to go but can’t.  You may be irritable and/or feel overstressed.
• Constipation with PMS or menopause.  Could be chilly, irritable and having a really hard time going when you do.
• Can go but it is work!  Not coming out without a fight.  May have chills also and you are generally lean.
• Back and forth between constipation and diarrhea.  May have strong thirst for freezing cold drinks.

Diarrhea

• Comes with rumbling and gurgling in the tummy followed by an explosion.  Could be discolored and mucus filled.
• Comes with anticipation of a stressful event or eating way too much sugar.
• Diarrhea and vomiting together.  You may be anxious, restless and chilly.  There may be blood in stool.  This could be food poisoning if the first time happening.
• Comes with extreme exhaustion and weakness.
• Comes with nausea.
• Painful diarrhea that’s accompanied by extreme sweating and spasms of the intestines.
• May just be watery but not fully diarrhea.  Typically smells foul.  You may be anxious and crave cold drinks.
• May happen after eating greasy foods or certain fruits.  You feel better in open air than in a warm room.
• Burning, explosive diarrhea that smells like rotten eggs.  You have extreme thirst for cold drinks.

There you have it.  The TMI list of all TMI lists.  But I want to tell you how necessary something like this is.  Many times we discount the thing we’re going through as it’s all the same thing and it is not.  So when your doctor, or someone psychotically detail oriented like myself, asks you questions  you may not understand why.  Or when you slap a general remedy on it but it doesn’t seem to help.  Each one of these has a different cause and a different natural remedy.  It is imperative to pay attention to your digestive system because just like your period, it is an infamous Town Crier ready to tattle on you at the drop of a hat.

We’re moving on.  Yes.  There is more TMI to be exposed.  We’re a hot bed for conditions.  Woop woop!

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I go to the gym Monday through Friday right after I drop my kids off at school.  (For those of you who are wondering, I finally started coming to a stop for my kids to get out of the car.  No more pushing them out as I drive by.   It’s been working well for us.  Thanks for your concern.;)  It’s a basic gym, nothing extraordinary about it and I go at that odd time of the morning where it’s the end of the early morning rush but before the mommy time starts so it’s never crowded.  Every day that I am at the gym there is a woman on the Arc Trainer—her special Arc Trainer—covered in about 2 gallons of sweat and I used to always think, ‘Work it girl!’ when I saw her doing cardio.  Then one day I got on next to her and she was covered in sweat while the display of her machine said 7 minutes.  I immediately thought, “Holy crap.  What setting could you possibly have that on if you are that sweaty after 7 minutes?!  I need to get a hook up from sister-girl on how to juice the Arc Trainer for everything it has.”  Then I got on again about a week or two later when her display read about 50 min or so (I know I wrote about this before on some post but I can’t find it right now) and while I was doing my cardio it looped at 60 min and started counting from 1 again.  What the…?  What is THAT about?  Who in this day and age has that much time to do that much cardio all week long?  Holy ticking time, Batman!

So today I just happen to be there before she was and she came in and put her stuff on the machine before going to the lockers to put her stuff away.  What she used to “hold her spot” was 7 pieces of gum neatly lined up on the machine—meanwhile she was chewing away on some already before setting up shop.  Holy intestinal fortitude!  I got the runs just knowing she was going to chew all that in that short of time.  Well short time for 7 pieces of gum, long time for useless cardio.  Thankfully I was done 5 minutes after she came back so I had enough time to stock up on Cank-Aid and warm salty water.  This brings me to some more of the basics…

I am going to start running, I need to lose some weight.

Good luck with that.  Using running to lose weight is like using a spoon to empty bathwater out of your tub; you will eventually get it done.  If you insist on running as a form of weight loss, do it the right way by incorporating speed drills and sprints into your runs and you’ll really achieve what you’re hoping for.

Can I do the weight lifting class at my gym instead of lifting?  It’s so boring and I hate it.

You mean the class that does more reps in one hour than I would ever do in one week?  I would say no simply because you cannot lift heavy enough.  And I can’t say this enough:  group fitness has its place in life but not as a primary if your desire is to look good naked.

What do you think about…{insert diet concept/book/workout technique/DVD/latest fad here}?

Who cares?  You know you don’t.  I could tell you that it causes a new arm to grow out of your neck and if you are hell bent on it enough, you’ll bring an extra sleeve for your shirt just in case.  Seriously.  And honestly, if it is going to energize you, challenge you, inspire you and so on and it is safe, I say go for it.  I hope that most of us have been around long enough to know that change matters more than the actual diet or workout itself.  Not to mention, are you new to dieting or not?  If you are new, you’ll lose weight running to the shower in the morning.  If you’re a veteran, you could scale Mount Kilimanjaro eating only a bean and a half of pear and maybe, just maybe, you’ll lose a half pound by the end of the week.

I started doing bootcamp 5 days a week.  Is that ok?

Only if they mix it up.  If you are doing 5 days of jumping/plyometrics, that is not ok.  And if it is really a glorified run club, see #1.

It is cool to see people in their “stages of readiness”.   When we first start out we just want to lose some weight.  But then we lose a few pounds and realize we look the same as before, just smaller.  Then we go to a beach and put on a bathing suit and realize we’re so crinkly that we look like we wrapped ourselves in cellophane before we left the house.  That sets us on a mission to be smaller and tighter.  The rest is history but it’s wild to watch it go down in slow motion.  This wraps up all the questions asked to me in April.  May is proving to be a slow month which is nice because I need to regenerate in my hole office after all that.  Woop woop!

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This is part two of my crazy month of April where I was accosted by some insane folks with some insane questions.

I want you to know how this really happens because when you read these it can almost sound like I’m trying to say that I’m well known or something.  Umm…that is SO far from the case.  BUT, I am well known in my very small circle of influence (that’d be 8 people, 2 dogs, 2 cats and some bunnies in my yard) by what I presently do and what I used to do.  Now those folks never ask me any questions—they know better.  After I’ve told you something 5 times, I begin to put your business out there when you ask me something you know already.  This is a great deterrent for repetitive questions from family.  It looks like this:

Repeat offender: “Jodi?”

Me: “Yayesss?”  If you have ever had me say yes to you this way, you know what this sounds like.

RO: “Do I have to measure my food?”

Me: “Nope.”

RO: “Really?  You told me before that I should?”

Me: “I did?”  Knowing full well that I did and said with a massively incredulous tone.  “Well then why are you asking me again?”  Said with full sincerity.

RO: “Because I was hoping you would say no.  And you did, but I know you’re lying.”

Me: “I’m not lying.  You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.  Like progress (pronounced proe-gress).  Why do what you need to do to progress?  What you’re doing so far is working great for you.  Just keep doing more of that.”  At this point they’re done with me because they realized they’re not going to get anywhere (both in their dieting and the conversation with me) but I swear to you I am neither mean nor snide.  Those days are behind me (kinda;).

So if it’s not all my family and friends asking me these questions and I’m as famous as a homeless guy (although the dude in Boston who walks along Mass Ave, Roxbury, and washes your windows is pretty well known), who is asking me these questions?  Their friends!  Holy suffering survey, Batman!  My family’s friends and my friends’ friends can keep me busy for a long time.  Since I’ve never met most of them before, I do not mind.  It is funny to watch someone who knows me run and hide, though, when they ask me a question they know is a no-no.  But they don’t realize that I just do that to them.  Sillies.

Here’s Part 2.

Do I have to measure my food?

Yes.  Think about it this way.  You’re on a side street doing a good clip.  Not sure how much but a bit on the fast side.  A cop standing on the side of the road for a detail pulls you over.  He didn’t clock you.  He saw you.  He’s been on the force for 25 years, though.  He “knows” speeding when he sees it.  He gives you a ticket and tells you to slow down.  Is he right?  Yes.  But the ticket he gives you is dependent on *exactly* how fast you were going.  He claims 43mph.  Your speedometer said 40.  Three extra mph adds $30 to the ticket in Ma.  When you contest this by going to the judge and say, “I can’t accept this. He didn’t measure this accurately. I should not be stuck with this fine.”  The judge is going to say, “You’re right.”  Think of this when you step on the scale.  You’re using an accurate measuring tool to measure an inaccurate way of dieting.  Must be frustrating to accept those extra 3 pounds.

When can I stop measuring my food?

First time dieting:  after 5 weeks.  Veteran:  after 3 weeks and you are on a roll.

Do I have to have a cheat meal?  I’ve been doing great without one.

Yes.  Because you haven’t gone anywhere yet that has your favorite food.  You’re locked up in a cell known as your house.  As soon as you leave the compound, though, and go to a real function with real food laid out in front you, I have ten dollars that says you’ll forsake utensils and you will defy gravity with some of the eating techniques you will use when you get around that PB/chocolate/ice cream/starchy food/dessert that you’ve been missing.  No snortling please.

Sometimes the things that I get are not actually questions, but declarations.  It’s as if they want me to say to them, “You are so amazing and so on track!  What you’re doing is fabulous.  You’ll be Heidi Klum in no time.”   However, it’s usually something that will send me into a two hour rant.  See below:

• “I don’t eat salt.” Who is scarred from the salt rant?  Don’t make me go here again.  I can only say “huge” so many times.

• “I don’t eat fruit.” Now that’s just sad.  Fruit is nature’s candy and definitely not the reason you haven’t reached goal.

• “I don’t eat starch.” This is a BIG mistake.  There are a ton of Atkins/South Beach sufferers from back in the day who can tell you how much this hurts you as you get older in life.  This is cool if you never ever gain any weight back.  BUT, if you gain even just 5 pounds back, you’re done for.

• “My trainer says…” Good.  Why are you talking to me about this?  Follow what they say and stop fact checking them.  This is some sick game people like to play pitting trainer against trainer like they’ve been hanging out with Michael Vick or something.  Knock it off and go with your trainer.  You’re paying them.

You know there’s more.  I had lock jaw by the end of the month.  Hang tight.  Woop woop!

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Before I delve into how our girl is a survivor and how she is much smarter in her attempts to diet, I want to back track a bit to yesterday’s post.  Under Stalemate, I mentioned a bevy of things our girl was no longer sticking to like she did the first time around and I failed to mention how important that was.  When we diet the second time, third time and even fourth time around, we become less and less detail oriented.  We excuse more and more of our indiscretions but yet we look for the exact same results that we had when we were following the plan to a T.  As soon as we realize that we are not progressing like we did before, we then use that as a weapon of mass destruction against ourselves, our purpose, our success in life, our relationships and so on.  So we do it half heartedly but judge it whole heartedly.  It’s a bad combo.  What can we learn from that?

Myth: We are really on point while dieting even though we’re not tracking anything or fully adhering to anything.

Fact: We know when we are on fire and we know when we are going through the motions.  We are not disappointed with the plan when we do not get results—secretly we know we shouldn’t have any.  We are actually disappointed with ourselves because we cannot stay focused.

Failing forward: The longer we diet, the better we get at knowing when to start a plan and when to cry ‘uncle’.  Much like learning how to separate emotion from the task at hand, knowing when to start a diet and knowing when to wait is an art in and of itself but it can be done.  We begin to learn that there is a difference to committing to a plan and “cleaning up our act”.  The latter is best used when it is not a good idea to diet but staying where you are is not a good idea either.

Won the Battle, Lost the War

She reached goal, folks, and you would think that she would be excited but she’s not.  In fact, not only is she not excited, she’s actually panicked about it.  For her to make goal she had to do a bunch of things with her diet and workouts she wasn’t exactly prepared to do and now doesn’t know how to back out of them.  For one thing, she does cardio 2 times a day, 7 days a week and has no idea how to back out of that.  She also eats less than 1000 cals per day, no fat, no cheat meal and hasn’t seen a starch for weeks.  She’s exhausted, cranky, weather beaten and bitter because this isn’t what she had in mind when she first started dieting.  She feels sort of trapped.  On the one hand, she loves her body but on the other hand, she feels like a slave to it and can’t imagine keeping the pace she is at indefinitely.

Myth: Maintenance is hard.  It is actually easier than you think but our girl is confused right now.  She does not realize that the only reason she is in this spot is because she forced a situation in the first place.

Fact: The longer you are at a weight, the more you *own* it.  It will take more to make you gain weight as time goes on and you will do less and less to maintain it.

Failing forward: Eventually we begin to learn that we can’t just *stop* things.  We begin to see that there is a method to this madness and that a slow taper will keep our results while we lighten the burden on our bodies.   As we do this, we start to learn what’s a trigger food, what causes us to have insomnia, what’s the least we can do and still sane and what’s the most we can do and not collapse from exhaustion.

The Smoke is Clearing

Flash forward a year and our girl is doing ok.  Not great, just ok.  She has much to learn about being lean and staying lean but seems to be up for the lessons.  She rebounded again from the last diet she did but nowhere like she did the first time.  The second rebound was about 7 pounds and the manic frenzy of eating was not nearly as dramatic as before.  However, she noticed that her body on a whole is different, her weight distribution is not close to being the same and she is developing acne for the first time in her adult life.  Something is up but she’s not sure what.

Myth: We just diet, get lean and all else stays the same.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

Fact: If you want to maintain this lifestyle long term, you need to get smarter about what you are doing to your body being this lean.  There are good and bad consequences and you should know what they all are.

Failing forward: With as much drama that comes with every diet, we look better each and every time we do it.  Our weight distribution tends to even out, our body composition changes more favorably and we have less and less mood swings when done the right way.   However, when it’s not done the right way we can develop disordered eating patterns, burn ourselves out and go the complete opposite direction of health and wellness and head down a long dark corridor of confusion and disillusionment.  Failing forward is the right way.  By giving ourselves permission to not be perfect, not always be on a plan, gain a few pounds here and there and like working out for other reasons than how we look, we begin to embrace this as a lifestyle instead of a means to an end.  What I would love for us to see on a whole is that every week of your diet is a learning experience—not a test.  Therefore, you are there to take notes…not score a 100.  If you look at your dieting in this light, it will change the way you react when you “can’t get everything right”.

I wrap this all up tomorrow on audio.  I have some things I want to say more than write so I hope you meet me there.  In the mean time, get off your back and cut yourself some slack.  Cool?  Woop woop!

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…may make or keep you fat.

Meet Fat Fox.  He’s my daughter’s stuffed animal who has turned my house upside down.  We have arguments over whose turn it is to hang out with Fat Fox.  He’s the man.  However, when you think you *look* like Fat Fox, that’s not cool.  Especially if you’re orange.  That’s a bronzer issue.

You would be amazed at how much you really do not know about losing weight or being lean.  The whole ‘cals in vs cals out’ thing?  Nonsense.  The no starch but ‘healthy veggie carb’ thing—only a matter of time before you find a bunch of insulin resistant folks out there because of this misinformation.  The ‘lean’ craze that hit everyone who eats meat about 10 years or so ago—holy helpless hormones, Batman, we’re beginning to see the effects of that surface now.  Our girl is no different in what she thought about dieting.  What she thought to be fact is actually fallacy and now the struggle begins.

Back in the Battle

About a month after Armageddon, our girl is ready to get back to dieting.  She’s officially disgusted with herself.  Mirrors?  Thing of the past.  No, our girl is not dressing up anymore or wearing her cute gym clothes, she’s in a baseball cap, black baggie sweatpants and a too big T shirt.  She’s switched gyms because there is no way she can go back to her old gym and face anybody a month after her glorious goal date.  It’s too fresh and raw for her.  So she joined a gym on the other side of town and got back into the swing of things.

Failing forward: You will never rebound with the same magnitude again.  You may rebound again, but it will not be as great as the first time.  Changing gyms is extreme and really speaks to the severity of insecurity our girl had.  However, some of us wished we had changed gyms but stuck it out anyways.   What our girl is really suffering from is the fall from the top.  I’ve alluded to this here.  I will tackle it for real some day in a longer post, just know it’s coming.

Watching Grass Grow

The second time around is nothing like the first.  Nothing.  First, it’s hard to get that fight in your spirit again.  You know how hard it’s going to be.  You know how much you’re going to have to give up for it again and you’re not sure you want to.  There’s also no romance left to this battle:  the little nuances of seeing the body change, the cool reaction of all your friends when they would see you and not knowing what all the phases of dieting would be like so you looked forward to each one.  Second, it is WAAAAAAAYYYYYYY harder to lose weight each and every time you diet.  If you lost 2 pounds per week the first time around, you’ll lose 2 pounds per 2 weeks and possibly 3 weeks the second time around.  It’s hard.  It’s laborious.  It’s like watching grass grow.  So here’s our girl…miserable, heavier than her initial weight and profoundly disillusioned.

Myth: Many girls believe they have “metabolic damage” at this point and that’s why they cannot lose weight.  That’s not exactly true although they have jacked up their hormones which is what’s causing the delay in weight loss.

Fact: This is going to sound insane, but if you want to try and lose weight right after a rebound, you need to at least start with a re-feed of some sort and then s-l-o-w-l-y start to diet again.

Failing forward: At this point, patience is a virtue and we seasoned dieters tend to understand this.  We do not look for progress the first 4 weeks or so and instead, give our bodies time to get back into the groove.  Learning to separate our emotions from the task at hand is not easy and takes a good amount of practice and emotional fortitude.  But going for the gusto here would do more harm than good so she has to ride out this storm in slow motion.

Stalemate

Eight weeks in and our girl weighs 2 pounds less than when she started.  She picked up right where she left off and can’t understand why the scale isn’t moving.  Yes, she’s had a few breakdowns here and there.  A whole pint of ice cream, a few days of endless nibbles, some cookies and a few other indiscretions not worth mentioning but that shouldn’t be enough to stop her progress, right?  She’s missed the gym a few times, too, and she doesn’t keep track as well as before but she’s still in the gym 7 days a week so what gives?  She also doesn’t measure what she’s eating and she has the meal plan memorized so she knows what she’s eating every day so whatever.  She’s on it…yes?

Myth: Picking up where you left off will give you the results you had before.  Somehow you think your body should just snap back in place because you’re back to eating the same boring chicken and tasteless green beans.

Fact: You didn’t start off your first plan at 7 days a week and no condiments, why would you start there now?  Torturing yourself does not make your body conform faster.

Failing forward: We begin to discover the tricks of the trade and what really produces change in our bodies.  We do not lose weight because we exercise and eat right, we lose weight when we cause a *change* in the body great enough to elicit a response from it.  If you’re used to running 5 miles a day, you will not all of a sudden start losing weight doing so just because you declared yourself on a diet.  You must do something different or more to elicit that weight loss response from your body.  As we mature as dieters, we begin to realize this by actually backing off from dieting when we really do not need to.  This keeps us from having to go on 10 calorie diets and run a ½ marathon every day for cardio.

We’ll pick her saga up tomorrow when she finally gets to where she wants to go but now finds maintenance about as fun as getting a colonic with a central vacuum attachment.  More to come! Woop woop!!:o)

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Did you ever have a girlfriend who stuck up for you all the time when you were younger?  She would gladly talk for you whether you asked her to or not:  Someone talk trash?  She was on them.  Someone lie on you?  She’d shut ‘em down.   Someone get in your face?  She’d come between you and them, be all over them and then shut ‘em down.  She was awesome—at first.   And then, as you got older, you found she was buttin’ in even when it wasn’t necessary.  Some of the things she would say would not always be right or even nice.  You started to feel like it was more of a hindrance than a help and at times, she was bordering on being offensive.

But now, you have a dilemma.  This is your bestie.  Your other half who you have been super tight with since Kindergarten.  You share everything.  Telling her that you want your independence is not only going to hurt her feelings, it may even turn her against you.  The girl who spent half of her own childhood defending you could now become your worst enemy if not handled well.  You need an exit plan and it better be well thought out.

And so it is with The Pill…

Nowadays, more thought is put into the foundation we choose to put on our face than the choice of whether to go on the pill or not.  Medicine has done an excellent job of making the decision seem as basic as ‘paper or plastic’ and that we should not be concerned about any health risks or side effects because they’ve been around for years.  When you go into their office for a consult or annual appointment and try to discuss it with them, they give you a list of options like you were picking out a different flavor of ice cream for the first time.  They barely go over the options, they smooth over all the side effects and they never tell you what can happen if you choose to stop one kind and head over to another.  Essentially, you are at the mercy of their bedside manner which is not always great for doctors.

If you understand the pill’s role in your body, you understand why it is so important for you to be on top of the choice you make.  The above story is a good representation what the pill does in your system.  It’s your advocate.  It snuffs out all the other “voices” (hormones) that your body has such as estrogen and progesterone and does not allow them a chance to speak.  The problem is, just like in the story, that’s not your voice.  So it doesn’t get it exactly right.  There are some things misinterpreted and as time goes on, less and less of what it “says” corresponds to what you need or want.  After a while, it’s doing its own thing and you’re just a bystander in your own story.

Once you know this, think about who you are and how your system is different from every other dieter on the planet.  You have chosen to be on the leaner side.  This means that the balance in your hormones is in a much more delicate state than someone who is of average body fat.  You walk the thin line between respecting your body and thumbing your nose at your body.  Depending on where you are in the diet, you could be doing either one.  Therefore, you cannot afford to have an advocate who is shouting the wrong message at the wrong time.  This is the difference between gaining a pound or two when your cycle comes around and ballooning up like a floatation device every time you think of eating a starch.  I don’t know about you, but I prefer the former for sure.

If you are using the pill as contraception, knock yourself out—that’s out, not up.  Just sayin.   I am not here to poo poo the pill entirely and I want to make sure I say this so no one misinterprets this post.  As contraception, that’s your personal preference.  But as a fix for your hormonal nightmare going on, it’s not a very wise choice.  It does not “fix” your hormones, it masks them.  It will not “regulate” you like they say it will, it just causes other issues to crop up while you search aimlessly for the formulation that won’t break you out, make you fat or give you migraines.  And any change in your pill formulation will halt your dieting for at least 3 months while you wait for your body to stabilize.

I know firsthand this lifestyle can be challenging.  It’s a lot of work to pack meals, plan your workouts around an already packed week and still live life so having another thing to keep track of is annoying.  But of all the things that can truly affect the beautiful vessel you are living in, it’s this.  Pay attention to your hormones, particularly your cycle.  They are the Town Criers that you need in your life to keep you on track and to keep you healthy for real.  Listen to them.  As always, let me know what you’re thinking below.  I truly love to hear.  Woop woop!:o)

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Every Friday I will be posting an audio message for your enjoyment. I am working on getting video going, too, so look forward to that coming soon.

Feel free to comment below and let me know if you have experienced anything close to what I am talking about in this week’s post.  There may be 2 more posts in this series so hang tight while we get to The Silencer…the Pill.  Cool?  Woop woop!

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Play Now:

 Why Our Cycles Are Important [8:26m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Remember in the last post that I said there is a lot of info out there–some good, some bad?  We need to put this whole issue into perspective by at least reviewing the information that is out there and then discuss how it does or does not apply to us:

Your cycle is a barometer by telling you:

Whether your hormones are balanced or not.

Find yourself crying because they made your coffee wrong that morning?  You may be a bit unbalanced.  Also, ladies, if you find yourself with a 5 o’clock shadow and it’s only noon time, you may have a problem there.  Shaving your beard on the way to work in the car is not cute, no matter how discreet you are.  If your chest hurts for weeks at a time (and you are not menopausal), you have extreme exhaustion from 2 to 5 pm, up all night long staring at the ceiling, some days you are Hercules—other days you are Pee Wee Herman or lastly, you have night sweats.   Any of these scream hormonal imbalance.

Whether your metabolism is fully functioning.

Gaining weight just watching fast food commercials?  Time to see if the thyroid is up to snuff.  Ate a piece of bread and it was as if someone opened an umbrella in your tummy five minutes later?  Could be issues with your gut which in turn mess with your metabolism.  Have a gall bladder issue and you aren’t your typical candidate for it?  Sounds like a possible thyroid problem there.  All of these things say, off kilter.

Whether your moods are in alignment.

Punched your husband in the face because he ate the last of something and then said, “so what?” about it?  Your free testosterone might be a bit too free, eh?  Feel like you need to have a baby yesterday and you are happily single and under 35 years old?  Get a hold of yourself, girl!  What’s wrong with you?  Sorry…that was my own personal interjection.  What I meant to say was, “You may be a bit estrogen heavy there.”  Gave somebody the finger in traffic and then realized it was your boss?  That progesterone may be getting the best of you.

If your cycle was off before you began clean eating it may be because of:

• Menopause/perimenopause
• Stress/Exercise
• Significant change in weight—up or down
• Medications
• PCOS/estrogen dominance/hormonal imbalance
• Nutrition
• And at least 5 other things that aren’t worth mentioning in this post

Most doctors help their patients manage these issues by:

• Focus on nutrition
• Limit stress
• Vitamin supplementation
• Prescribe the pill

This gives you an idea of what every woman faces whether they have chosen to lean out or not.  All of these are real issues and well documented in the medical community.  The question then becomes, “How is this different for you?”

Hormonal Imbalance

This is a given for us the first time we diet down to anything.  It doesn’t matter if we went from 200 pounds down to 180 pounds; dieting throws your body into a tail spin.  Some of us make it through unscathed, the rest of us are still picking up the pieces years later.  It’s different for everyone.  How it shows up, though, after dieting is anxiety, bingeing, mood swings (very high highs or very low lows), metabolic disturbances and our cycles.

If your cycle was off after you began clean eating it may be because of:

• Too little fat in your diet
• Too much exercise for way too long
• Too low of cals for way too long
• Too much exercise with too few cals for way too long
• Anxiety/depression medication
• Adrenal fatigue
• Insulin resistance
• Metabolic syndrome

What your doctor will suggest you do to help:

Eat right and exercise.

I know.  Don’t hit them.  Seriously.  But they will tell you that you need to eat healthy foods and make sure you do some cardio.  This is after you bring them 6 months worth of food journals and a plate loaded iso-lateral chest press machine for their waiting room.  You’ll be amazed at how many of them think that you are not doing enough even though you did the whole appointment with them on your own personal treadmill that you carried into the office all by yourself. Crazy.

Limit the stress.

This is about as effective as using chapstick as a gluestick.  Do they know who you are?  You’re Mrs. Type A.  You’ve already worked out, did 8 hours worth of work and made all your meals for the week and it’s only 9 am.  Getting you to relax is as laborious as 10^th grade summer reading list.  Totally no fun and getting it done takes forever!

Supplementation.

Not a bad thing to add in here but most likely, you’re already taking what they will suggest.  But it’s a good start.

Take the Pill.

WHOA NELLY!  This is the next post!  Sit tight!

There’s more to come and on Friday, I will have an audio post for you to listen to.  If you have never heard my voice or my crazy antics, now you will have your chance.  Can’t wait!  Woop woop!

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I have truly mellowed out in my old age.  Back in the day, I assure you, I was a much feistier gal.  I would like to say that that was a good thing, but alas…it wasn’t.  I have many a dead body behind me of those who entered into an argument with me and I wouldn’t say they “lost” but they lost something (i.e. limb, voice, money, life—who knows.  It wasn’t pretty.).  And those losses didn’t come because I knew something and was smarter than them—because that’s definitely not the case.  They came because I was ferocious at defending my end of the argument at all cost.  Whatever I knew to be true was true as far as I was concerned…and then I got older.

Getting older meant that I had to concede that I may know the truth or I may be “right”, but there could be a whole segment of information that I have never been exposed to that could stomp on whatever I am presenting as fact at that moment.  This doesn’t mean that I didn’t know what I was talking about; it means that I had limited knowledge in the topic being discussed.  This happens to all of us in some way, shape or form.  Think about how dumb we used to think our parents were when really, we were the dummies.  Or, say you are a trainer and a client tells you something that sounds odd to you and in your mind you call “bullcrap” because you think she just doesn’t want to diet or workout hard.  Then like a year later you find out that not only was she telling the truth, but now you have what she was talking about and you’re upset because now no one believes you.  Things like this happen all the time and I expect some of this to crop up during this series.  I need to debunk a lot of junk (wow, can I use that somewhere else?) that is floating around out there in the land of Greek Mythology, aka girl talk, surrounding our cycles and I expect some raised eyebrows.  There’s a ton of misinformation and we need to slog through the details to get to the truth.  Here are a few to start with:

1. Getting to the truth.

There’s no such thing.  There isn’t a central location of hormonal information that you will find that all of the medical community is going to agree upon.  There are two types of medicine that I am familiar with and I refer to them all the time:  Western medicine and naturopaths.  Western medicine is your traditional doctor who tells you what the insurance companies let them tell you.  They are not bad people, just limited by the system.   I will qualify this later so don’t get your underwear in knots if you don’t agree.  Hang tight.  Naturopaths are not exactly MD’s but they have a much more open view of tackling medical issues which is what you need when it comes to hormones.  The problem is, when you need a drug—you ain’t getting’ one there.

These two professions tend to be at odds with each other.  This is tough on us, the little guy, because we look to them for the answers and then find ourselves having to make a choice between the two without any real information to back up our decisions.  YUCK.

2. My cycle has always been messed up.  It’s just the way it is.

Umm…no it’s not.  And don’t accept that either.  Here is where I qualify my above statement.  Unfortunately for doctors, they do not have the resources to make you well.   They only have the capability to make you better.  That is not the same as being well.  Doctors look at the symptoms you present and make them go away.  They do not necessarily cure you.  And when it comes to a syndrome or chronic condition, they can only ask for so many things to be done that insurance will cover because after a while, they start getting vetoed.  Again, not their fault—it’s the system’s.  Hormonal issues require patience, lots of lab work and a good eye for detail.

3. My doctor diagnosed me with “fill in the blank” so that’s what I have.

Maybe so.  I have no right to argue that in any way.  I am not a doctor and do not profess to be.  But I am an advocate and I challenge you to get a second opinion.  Especially if what they told you that you had was a syndrome.  Things like PCOS, fibromyalgia and so on that do not have definitive tests (although PCOS does but few get the ultrasound done) but more like a list of things that you seem to have in common with them.  Syndromes are a great way to say, “I-have-no-idea-what’s-wrong-with-you-but-I-know-you-need-a-diagnosis-or-you-won’t-be-happy-so-I’m-going-to-tell-you-this-so-you’ll-leave-my-office.”  They have no true way to “fix” them but they give you something tangible to hang on to because it makes you feel better.  Not become well.  Just feel better.  And even then, you may not feel better, you may just be symptom free.

Why do I bring this entire subject up?  Why do I care so much?  I know some of you are thinking, “I was just fine before you started kicking up all this dirt.  Now you have my head spinning.”  (Or maybe that’s just Kas thinking that  I bring it up because if you are not optimal at normal body fat levels, you are REALLY not optimal when you get lean.  And for some of you, it’s what’s keeping you from getting the body that you desire.  Your cycle screams “I am not well” and to lose weight, change body composition or be the best you can be:  you need to be well.

Much more to come.  This is a big topic when it comes to changing your body for the better.  If you have any horror stories, you know I love them.  Hit me up below.  Woop woop!

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There are some things you just can’t explain.  There’s no rhyme or reason for it, they just are.  Things like:

• Why people must slow down on the highway when someone is pulled to the side of the road.  Not emergency vehicles.  Nothing important.   Heck, there doesn’t even have to be someone in the car!  They just slow down.  GRRR.

• Why my kids need to talk to me as soon as I get on the phone.  I mean AS SOON AS.  I could be sitting there attracting moss and no one notices.  Phone gets near my ear and they want to know why the earth rotates on an axis.  REALLY??

• Why there’s no one in a store until I have to check out.  I went in the store because it was empty but something about the purchases in my hand attracted an aggressive mob that suddenly stormed the front of the store.  It’s uncanny I tell you.

And the best of all…why some food combinations just do not work when you are trying to lose body fat.

If you are a trainer and you are thinking about specializing in fat loss then one of the best things you can do is have all of your clients bring their food diaries in to you—even if you are not doing their nutrition.  Tell them you want it for accountability reasons but really you want it to protect yourself from falling victim to The Bermuda Triangle.

There are just some foods that when you eat them on a consistent basis, they keep you from progressing.  I do realize that we are in the middle of no starchy carbohydrate phase in this world but I caution you from dropping all starch from your diet on a long term basis–it is the kiss of death.  And I also realize that some of us think we’re cave men or permanently on a beach somewhere or whatever diet you may be following, but I do not ascribe to any of that stuff so I’m not here to back up their theories.  For as long as I have been doing this, there is nothing wrong with eating food in its whole and natural state while losing weight (the real problem lies in the fact that that is becoming hard to find nowadays) and you can eat just about anything you want if you have it in moderation ßnotice the word moderation.  Ahem.  America’s weight problem has only been for the last 40 years and starchy carbohydrate has been around a whole lot longer than that so there you go.

But if you are going to open up your diet (and you should!!), then you need to know the ground rules for some nefarious foods and combos that can wreak major havoc on your waistline.

Low Carb Tortillas

Can you have one?  Sure can.  Two?  Maybe.  How about one with your lunch at least 3 days a week?  Nope–wouldn’t do it if I was you.  I don’t care how low carb they are either.  You could pass them off for a piece of shoe leather they have so much fiber in them and I *still* wouldn’t have more than 2 in a week.  And these are huge with folks who love breakfast burritos so the minute you spot one, jump on it because I’m sure they’re not reporting all that they’re eating.

Peanut Butter

Yes, it’s a good fat…A good fat strategically placed on your thighs.  Why is peanut butter so bad?  Because as you are scooping it, you’re eating it.  And you’re eating it every day.  Twice a day.  And then sometimes you just open the jar and smell it.  And accidentally have a teaspoon of it.  PB is just something that is truly not measured.  Yes, you put 2 T on your food diary because that’s what you’re willing to admit you ate.  For some reason, though, you are buying a jar a week and sometimes you are running out mid week.  2T my behind!  And there are other reasons why but honestly, those are small in comparison to the amount of PB that you consume.  Seriously.

Protein Powder

Ok…start breathing again.  Let me explain how this makes the list so you can stop weeping in your chair.  When you see this show up more than 2 times in a day, you have a problem.  I can guarantee you, where there is a plateau with a clean eater, a plethora of protein powder follows.  Shakes are good in moderation but they stink at long term body composition change.  Also, stop getting the powder that is packed with all kinds of other stuff, too.  Complete physique staller right there.

Artificial Sweeteners

Get them out.  Now.  Don’t eat anything diet and note all the products that they do show up in and weed them out.  Walden Farms anything, Crystal Light, protein powders and diet drinks are just some examples but the list is much longer than that.  These are absolute body fat loss stoppers.  They could shut down mid afternoon traffic with the stuff that’s in them never mind your body comp change.  Don’t walk away from these, run.

Low Fat or Fat Free Cheese

Nothing to say here other than you are what you eat.  And cottage, ricotta and feta do not count, they are fine in your diet once in a while.  Keep in mind that I am not a fan of dairy.  Another post for another time.

Caustic Combos

These are foods that by themselves are not bad but when they show up in the same day food journal cause drama:

Steak/salmon and any kind of whole grain bread. Don’t do it.  Even Ezekiel is off limits. And if you do, don’t get on a scale for at least 4 days, maybe even 5 to be safe.

Rice and beans. Yes, it’s a staple for some but for you it’s an albatross around your neck.  I know…you need a protein when meat is not appealing but this ain’t the one.  Keep looking.

More than 2 processed foods in a day. Turkey bacon, chicken from those huge Costco/BJ’s bags—even raw, boil in a bag brown rice, perdue chicken short cuts, actual egg beaters (the brand) and so on.  You get the point.  They are real close to the real thing but they’re off just a tad.  Too many of those in your diet and you’ll never change that body from flab to fab.  Remember, we need to dot our I’s and cross our T’s.

Gum w/Xylitol

If you are chewing a pack a day of this stuff, just stop doing cardio now and go sit on the couch because it’s not making a difference any more.  If you wonder why, go back up a few to artificial sweeteners and take it from there.  Besides complete unrest for the tummy, you bloat on a level that is unexplainable.  You may even find yourself modeling for an Anne Geddes picture with your pregnant belly sitting on a perch.  Not good.

These are just a few that come to mind without thinking too much.  Remember, these are fine to have in your diet once in a while but not on a consistent basis or in high quantities.  Walking away from everything starchy is unrealistic and stifling so be smart about when you do bring them in.  It makes a difference.  And truth be told, there is nothing revolutionary on this list but you’d be amazed at how much of this stuff you may be consuming without realizing it.  It’s always nice to have a reminder.  The one I almost always catch people with is the artificial sweeteners.  Check what you’re eating!

I am about to begin my next series so hang tight for that this week.  Hit me up below if you have a question of a food you eat regularly and wonder where it stands.  Woop woop!