I know—no, really…I know!—that I can be a nag about certain things.  I’d be amazed if you did not know that I was a psycho about good fat in your diet or variety in your meal plan.  In fact, I’d think there was something wrong with you if you didn’t know that about me.  But there really are reasons for the broken record lectures that come out of my lap top every week.  This series would rank up there as one in the top 3 reasons I am the psycho I am about the way you diet.  Not just that you diet, but exactly how you do it.  Most folks focus on just your body, others focus on your body and your general health; I would say I focus on your acute symptoms first, general health second, emotional stability third and body fourth because I have seen the damage first hand when the (outside of the) body is the top priority.

Variety is my bat and your menu is my ball and I literally beat the living tar out of it every week.  Occasionally I’ll get a homerun, but for the most part I’m just swinging at it hoping for a line drive (for you to change anything).  Eating the same thing every day, day in and day out is boring, restrictive and will make you manic.  But more importantly, it sets you up for food allergies and intolerances that once they set in, you have most of them for a long time or for life for some others.  Nothing is worse than having a favorite food that you can no longer eat because you ate too much of it and now it either makes you sick or makes you sick when you eat something else with it.  Ok, well I lied.  There is something worse.  And that would be developing an autoimmune disease or condition because of the foods that you are eating such as Crohn’s disease, diverticulitis, gastritis, IBS or Ulcers.

Each one of these conditions have no real known cause as to why you have them but all of them can be triggered by food allergies/sensitivities.  Crohn’s typically runs in families but just because your parents have it does not mean you will.  What really needs to happen is that you provide it with the right environment to thrive and then it will kick in when it’s ready.   Ulcers are very much like that, as well.  They are caused by H. Pylori bacteria that flourish in our stomachs but not everyone who has H. Pylori has ulcers.  This means that we needed to get our bodies in such a rut/mess that we cultivated that condition.  I would hate to know I brought something as painful as ulcers into fruition because I insisted on eating XYZ every day.   We would like to think that because we are eating so “healthy” that we no longer have to worry about these things.  Only people who eat crap get these things.  Wrong!  Oh so wrong!

One of the requirements to work with us is to fill out a health history questionnaire.  In that questionnaire we ask if you have any medical conditions that we need to know about.  Time and time again, form after form you will see someone list a gastrointestinal condition as something they are struggling with.  Shoot down to the section on food and they will say, “Every day I have…”  and proceed to give me their food diary.  Is this their fault?  No.  No one talks about variety the way they should and most of us are happy we eat something never mind trying to mix it up.  But now that you do know, you are responsible for your health and you need to get to mixing it up!

Here are some things that you need to know when it comes to these five conditions:

Do not stack slow metabolizers

I talk about this as ‘caustic combos’.  These are foods that are not bad but should not be eaten close to each other.  Salmon, steak, sword fish, beans and pasta come to mind when I think of these.  They are foods that typically take a long time to move through the colon.  Therefore, eating them on the same day or having them day after day is not a good idea.  Slow motility (the amount of time food spends in your colon) is a major factor in diverticulitis and IBS.  The longer food sits in your colon, the more damage it can do.  And yes, we eat a lot of fiber but that means nothing.  Constipation is out of control among clean eaters (hence this series).

Binge on more than just chocolate

Chocolate is mucus forming and can really do a number on the colon.  Mucus is a primary symptom of IBS which basically says that there is major inflammation somewhere.  Say you work out and do not replenish your water adequately.  Then you come home a little later and have a salmon salad for lunch.  Now you’ve jammed up the highway during a drought season.  Then you lose your tree that night on some chocolate (I know…you’d never do that).  Now you have a chief aggravator waiting its turn for exit in your colon while sitting behind pink stucco.  Great.

Easy on the offenders

Dairy, wheat/gluten, egg whites, nuts, soy, popcorn, chemicals in food, caffeine (yoohoo diet coke lovers), chicken and fructose/sweeteners of any kind are known allergens.  Eating them in large quantities is just asking for trouble.  Back in the day, Walden farms marinades were all the rage.  Then people started cropping up with all kinds of health issues—not because there was something wrong with the marinades, but because they were going through a bottle a week.  It was crazy.  I am sure Walden Farms did not want people eating their product on that level.  But that’s what we do, we KILL foods we love.  KILL them dead!  We eat them until their pouring out of our skin.  So much of what we go through is incredibly preventive.

Listen, if you made it this far….wow.  There is more.  We need to talk symptoms of the above, supplements for everything and thyroid stuff.   This goes much deeper than you think.  Woop woop!

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I have seen some jacked food combos in my time that’ll make your hair stand on end, all in the name of “variety”.  I am a huge proponent of variety in one’s diet and when folks try to put this into practice, it sometimes translates into a nightmarish situation.   But there is a reason I harp on variety and it bears repeating in this post:  severe, hard core, no-joke, serious BOREDOM.  So much so, that you may find yourself chewing on grass just for a different feel and flavor on the palette.  This is where the crazy combos come in—and trust me, they are crazy.  It behooves us then to talk about what variety really is so we can avoid the pitfalls of every day eating that allow us to fall into the mundane dieting some of us are doing today.

There are three major things that come to mind when I think of variety in our diet:  different types of food, different food flavors and different textures of food.  If you have enough diversity in the types of foods that you choose, then you will do well in all three categories.  If not, you could be chewing on your blanket by the morning and that’s not a very pleasant thought.

Different Types of Food

I have this incredible talent for taking things that are simple and defined and making them confusing and complicated all in a matter of seconds.  I know this simply because when people tell me what they’re doing with their food choices all week long, they are nothing close to what I suggested.  When it’s one person, it’s them.  When it’s a bunch—it’s me.  Therefore, I own this and I get it and I am here to try to make it better by being more clear when explaining what your week should look like.

What it isn’t:

• A different food everyday that never repeats in the week. I don’t know where this came from but man am I impressed if you can get this done.  There has to be a food that repeats in a week.
• A different protein at every single meal. Again, no, you cannot have chicken at every meal but you can have it at 2 meals in a day.
• Thai food today, Mediterranean tomorrow, Italian on Thursday. You are not obligated to become Chef Boyardee.  Please avoid the temptation.

What it is:

Variety is varying the foods in your diet in such a way that your Monday does not look *exactly* like your Tuesday and that you sufficiently switch up your fruits, veggies and starches throughout the week.

• If you have chicken for lunch on Monday, have it for supper on Tuesday and have something different for lunch on Tuesday so you are not eating the same grilled chicken salad everyday for the next 2 years.
• If you have oatmeal on Wednesday, have cereal or oatbran on Thursday.  Go back to oatmeal on Friday.
• Have 3 favorite breakfasts, lunches and snacks each so you can rotate them around and keep it fresh.
• Change your fruit daily.  It’s the easiest thing to do since you do not have to cook it.

Different Types of Flavors

For some reason, this is the hardest of all the things to get folks to fool around with.  There is more to life than BBQ sauce, lemon/pepper, garlic salt/powder and grated parmesan cheese.  If you continuously eat the same 1 dimensional food flavor, you will have no defense against a meal that smells like Heaven and tastes like a motley of spices and sauces.  You’ll be dead in the water.  Most neglected flavors:

• Citrus (other than lemon)—Orange chicken is lovely.  I don’t mean the one you get at a Chinese food restaurant.  I mean one made from a reduction of orange juice.  YUM.
• Tropical—Mangoes, coconuts, passion fruit and so on can be very fun.  Get to know them.
• Polarizing—Cloves, mint, licorice (anise) and other dominating flavors

Check this site out and go crazy:  Khymos

Different Types of Textures

Protein powder is not a food, it is a supplement.  It is wonderful post workout to make sure you get in all your nutrients fast, but it is not a meal.  We are meant to chew our food and when you do not, you are not satisfied. When two or more of your meals are shakes, the odds of you being happy while having them are low.  Can you stay on it?  Sure.  We are happy to be unhappy for long periods of time so staying on it is not necessarily an issue.  Is it a good thing for you?  Nope.  Why?  Texture is more important than variety and flavor combined.  Any time I ask a woman why she ate such and such, the number 1 reason she broke her diet, she’ll say because she loved the way it crunched.  This is a major message for all of my non-starchers out there.  At some point, you could be taken down by an Ak-Mak cracker.

• Salad is great for a crunch but it rarely does the trick.  We eat it way too much.  However, croutons will light up your life alongside craisins, sunflower seeds, al dente beans and
• Mixing cold and hot foods together is another way to explore texture.  Hot rice on a cold salad or cold, crunchy veggies in a warm wheat pasta salad—yum.
• Next in line to crunch:  creaminess.  Melted cottage cheese on a potato or cold greek yogurt mixed with salsa, lime and pineapple on a piece of warm chicken come to mind.

Keep in mind you will refuse to eat a food first because of feel on the palette before taste ever becomes an issue.  This means if you are at work with your packed lunch of mushy chicken and slimy asparagus and someone shows up with warm Asian chicken covered in an orangey/citrusy sauce with crunchy wonton strips and cold green beans marinated in a hoisin sauce, you could beat her down in the office.  Please let me know so I may be there.  I need the entertainment. Woop woop!

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I started to open this series up with a ton of science on our brains that shows how we are hard wired to desire certain types of foods and how these foods affect our emotions so we desire them more and so on and so forth.  However, I kept coming back to the same place of debunking some kind of crazy myth that we all seem to buy into that has been perpetuated by the powers that be and has secretly tormented us over the years.  I finally came to the conclusion that I need to debunk the myths first.

It is no mystery to any of us that we care about how we look.  We also love the satisfaction of a good workout, the feeling of being fit and the distinction of being different than the rest of the population.  With that love comes the heavy burden of trying to stick to a challenging diet for a long period of time:  no processed food, limited starches, limited sweets and low fat choices with very little support from outside of the clean community.  This is not the haven we thought it would be when we first signed up for this lifestyle.  I don’t know about you, but I know I thought this would be easy because I would feel great all the time and wouldn’t want unhealthy food because I was now “so healthy”.  I had no idea what I was in for the first time I broke my diet.  All I know is I started in the morning with Dunkin’ Donuts and ended in the evening with Bertucci’s and everything in between was a blurr.  That was 9 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday, although, that could be because there was butter involved.  Shhh.

When I first started dieting, I did it for a very specific reason so the means justified the ends.  I was a fitness competitor and the protocol was that you needed to torture yourself with dieting in order to get on stage or else you were not getting on stage.  Or let me say, I wasn’t getting on stage.  I don’t know if everyone shared my same views back then.  But there was an obvious reason for my very bland, boring diet that lacked variety, starch and fat.  Fast forward to present day and my diet, although still clean, looks very different than it did back then.   Flavor, texture, fat, balance and quantity vary all the time and that is something that has mattered far more than anything when it comes to me sticking to this eating lifestyle.  The majority of us who can’t stick to it long term or find ourselves struggling all the time are over dieting for the results that we desire.  If you say to me that you do not want to get on stage and you are not eating sodium, still eating tuna from a can or packet or follow any bogus diet in a magazine, we really need to talk.

This industry (meaning clean eating) it what it is because of competitors and fitness models.  You can thank both men and women alike that don the cover of magazines and strut across stages for our initial desire to enter into this way of eating.  Even if you are a runner/athlete, you have been enticed to this way of living because that’s how your favorite athletes are maintaining their weight, as well.  However, we want their look without the stage or the lights and believe to get that we need to follow their diet, or their method of dieting, *all* the time.  Not so, says I.  Also, this industry is full of “diets” but then refer to them as a lifestyle.  You cannot have a lifestyle of dieting (in the noun sense)—that’s a nightmare waiting to happen.  At some point we need to learn how to *live* this life instead of hopping on a diet for 12 weeks, off a diet into a pit of sugar for 8 weeks, back on the diet to negate all that we did in the pit, back off of the diet again into sheer anger and frustration and so on.   Or better yet, live in maintenance hell where you are constantly wondering if you are doing enough to stay where you want to be so you do more, crash, do more, crash, etc.

There are many things we need to consider when eating like this:  flavor, texture, variety and balance are a great place to start.  We also need to think about serotonin, dopamine, estrogen and galanin when it comes to the brain stuff and lastly, sodium, sugar and fat are beyond important to our long term survival.  Magazines like to talk in terms of recipes and nutritional sound bites, your friends will talk in terms of suffering, the internet is going to show you how much you suck at doing this but I’m going to talk about this as a living, breathing thing that must be learned and nurtured to be accomplished.  Are you ready?  Woop woop!!

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We have some bad habits.  It’s true.  Beyond our bad habits, though, lie some disturbing and tortuous habits that have been born out of survival and strange Greek mythology.  I’m not sure where some of them came from, but we’re going to talk about these things because they affect us long term and erode our dieting process.   We’re also going to talk about how we eat our food, what kind of food we eat, what we put on it and how all of these things can sometimes set us up for:

The Big Binge

Although this sounds like a lot of food, for many of us it usually isn’t.  All we need is a jar of peanut butter, a few slices of toast and 2 bananas and we have ourselves a Big Binge.   This does not happen regularly and we’re not always sure of what brings it on so diving into this series may help.  One thing is for sure, though, we feel like crap right after and we throw out all peanut butter for at least 3 days.  Then we go shopping and somehow it miraculously ends up in the cart again.  Very strange.

The Endless Cheat Meal

This is the meal that starts on Saturday night and ends some time Monday morning when we feel it’s safe to start dieting again.  This isn’t an all out gorge, it’s more like an unstructured hodge podge of “little bit of this, little bit of that” because our oatmeal and egg whites are about as appealing as our mates worn underwear.   If left unchecked, it can easily become…

The Behind Closed Doors Scoffing

“Monday” has come and gone and we still do not have full focus but we’re not way off track either.  No, we have some restraint but it’s interrupted daily with some kind of cookie, chip, nibble or sneak that no one else sees (so we don’t have to acknowledge or own it).  Not only do we conveniently ‘forget’ that we had those nibbles, but we will vehemently deny them to our spouse/boyfriend/mate if they catch us behind the door in the act.  Shameful.

The Que Sera Sera Menu

My heart goes out to any woman who has this menu right now.  I have a tendency to run into people in various places and inevitably someone will attack me and say, “Could you please just make me a diet?  Just tell me what to eat.  Don’t make me have to choose.  PLEASE!”  You know my answer is always, “NO.”  But why are they there?  Because they are eating ‘whatever will be, will be’ every day of the week.  They’ve been eating the same menu since the last solar eclipse and they are ready to take an eyeball out for it.  I can’t say this enough, though…giving you a menu will not solve this so you’ll have to keep up with the series.  Sorry.

The Militant Madness

Here’s where we all want to be because we think this is nirvana.  Tupperware containers stacked in the fridge with just the right amount of food in each ready to go for the next few days.  No fuss, no muss.  However, we’re not eating it.  We’ll “forget” in the fridge and run out to work or we’ll bring it but someone will ask us to go to lunch and we ditch it.  We’re eating anything and everything other than our perfectly packed Tupperware.  What’s up with that?

As always, before l launch into this series I need to remind you real quick of how I use the term diet.  I am not referring to it as something that you go on for a particular amount of time that restricts food, life and all enjoyment of anything worthwhile.  Rather, I use it as a verb and it describes the act of you eating clean food but not necessarily in a restrictive, bland sort of tortuous sense.  At all times we are ‘dieting’ because, in essence, we are different than the general population that eats whatever they want whenever they want since we choose to eat only unprocessed foods in a ‘small meal all day long’ fashion.  This is important for you to remember because when I start harping on (because you know I’m good for a rant albeit mild compared to my old self) the types of foods we eat, you won’t be thinking silly thoughts like “I can’t have that while ‘dieting’” because I’ll come and give you a noogie through the computer.

Meet me here over the next few days while I talk about the crazy neurotransmitters that make us do what we do as well as our own destructive behavior that only exacerbates the issue.  We’re not talking about any of the above scenarios for the next few days; those are just manifestations of the real problem.  We’re going to focus on taste, texture, smell and so on because they’re the real culprits.  Hang tight. Woop woop!:o)

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I am a nudge.  I won’t deny it.  Many of you who know me are thinking the same thing right now.  Actually, you’re thinking:  “I love you, girl, but you annoy me.  You always say the thing I want to hear least that day (always said with pure love).”  That I do.  So why should today be any different?  I figure, as long as I am fulfilling your need (i.e. supplying you with butt changing info), then it’s okay for me to fulfill my needs (i.e. get you to see how destructive chasing a body part can be).

I always say I love what I do but today I want to be more specific:  I love you.  No, seriously, I do.  I love you tremendously—even if I have never met you.  Why?  Because you are just like me and I love that.  Whatever you do now, I’ve done before and probably twenty times more than whatever you are doing now.  I love to talk to you.  I love to know what makes you tick. I love to hear about all of your successes.  And I love to see you happy.  NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING (in the context of my line of work) makes me more happy than to call a woman who is having a “ah-hah” moment.  It’s like music to my ears.  You can hear my smile over the phone.  It’s crazy.

But now think of the flip side of that.  When you’re unhappy, I’m concerned.  My heart aches because I remember what it was like to be in a not-so-good place and how isolating it can feel.  It’s not like we want to talk about it because we feel like people will think we’re crazy, whiny or the worst of them all—weak.  We don’t want to admit we have some faults or somehow can’t get it together so we just “keep on keepin’ on” hoping that no one notices we just ate an entire package of double stuff oreos in two days.  We’ll quickly regroup from that only to be the most rigid dieter this side of the buffet display and after a while it all gets so annoying doesn’t it?  Somewhere in all that lunacy, we find balance and we settle into a body that is good…decent…not bad–however you want to describe it, please do so.  It’s not like we’re super disgusted, it’s more like we’re just not satisfied.  This is where body part obsession takes root and becomes a bit alarming.

Our bodies can be nice to look at so it’s great to keep them well oiled and maintained but their primary purpose is to function for us not appear as trophies.  We have bums for a reason and it’s not to serve as a beacon of failure for our diets or our lives.  They are meant to hinge us at the hips, move us from side to side and help us get the heck out of Dodge when necessary.  They have a primary function in the body; not a secondary function like our tummies (yes, tummies are our core, but ideally our abs and back serve as our core/trunk and nutrition makes a great tummy—not crunches).   This is a huge thing to think about, seriously, because as you pound away at your booty you may be setting yourself up for some major surgery later on.

Although I love writing, I stress when I set out to write articles like this because on the screen they can read as preachy or judgmental.  I can tell you without a doubt that nothing like that is going through my head right now.  What’s running through my mind is what I was like when I wanted nicer shoulders and the only word that I can think of is “fixated”.  It was my main focus and I cared about nothing else besides my shoulders.   Fortunately, I was interrupted from destroying my neck/shoulder region (or unfortunately if you know why I was interrupted) because I really do think that if I continued on I would have had two grapefruits sitting at the top of my arms like a dot on an i.  Of course, reaching over my head or putting a shirt on wouldn’t be possible but dang it all, I’d’ve looked good! (I made that double contraction up. Work with it.

Function matters.  A lot.  I know we do not all have access to the top physical therapists out there (or have the awesome Heather on their staff) but it is worth it if you can at least once in your fitness career be evaluated for your weaknesses.  If you have tight hip flexors and weak glutes to begin with, when you go to do any of the exercises mentioned you run a high risk of not engaging your glutes properly thereby killing your progress.  You think that you aren’t doing enough so you keep doing more of the same and your weaknesses snowball from there.  If you train for function more than you train for form, you will be much better off.   The catch here is twofold:  1) to get over yourself enough to embrace a new way to train other than strict body part training and 2) to take the time off from hard training to do any necessary mobility work if need be.  How many of us really do anything preventative?

I know what you’re thinking.  “Then teach me to do it the right way, Jodi.  What am I missing?”  I can’t, it’s not my gig, but I know whose it is and I will give you that info at the end of this series.  I have a little more to talk about and I don’t want you to lose your focus by focusing on your bum which is the focus of this series.  You need to focus!  We haven’t even touched dieting, yet, and how you diet does make a difference in what your bum looks like.

Where does this leave you then?  What’s my point in drawing your attention to function and not form?  Balance.  Make sure that your program has balance.  Spread out the butt stuff throughout the week or do a good butt workout once, maybe twice in a week.  But do not go crazy and make every day a butt day by putting in something in every workout.  That’s not good.   Here are some guidelines for you:

1)      Limit the plyometric activity to no more than twice a week. This means sprints as well as pure plyos.  The pounding action of sprints and plyos take a toll on your spine and your feet.  Ease up, killah, before you look like your Aunt Ethel who is all of 4ft 3in by the time you’re done jumping.

2)      Have someone take a look at your program for obvious imbalances. You want to cover all planes of motion in a full body and have something with lateral movement if just a lower body.  Whether you do this in the warm up or in the program itself it doesn’t matter.  Just make sure your workout is not one big variation of the step up.

3)      Pay attention to injuries! So many times I talk to girls and they are working through some major junk like it’s nothing talking about, “I just need to look good for my…”  Listen, if you show up walking like Quasimodo, was it worth it to you?  Knock it off and see a physical therapist!

Nutrition is next.  Some radical supplementation talk for you butter butts and a few other things.  Hang tight.  Woop woop! )

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I’ve been yapping again, ladies, and I find myself saying a lot of the same things to folks who I am typically not working with.  So if you have never had a chance to ask me something, you may have been wondering something below.  Here are this month’s common questions or conversations I have had outside of my day to day stuff:

It’s not about what you don’t eat; it’s about what you do. Almost everyone at some point asks me how do you stop eating the crap.  I have been through this one a hundred times so I’ll spare you the details today and instead, remind you of the most important fact when it comes to food:  math.  You know I love it and it truly rules.  Stop worrying about what you snuck in for the day and instead focus on what you didn’t get in because it’s what you are lacking that is hurting you more. If you ate 1400 cals worth of clean protein, carb and fat and had 100 cals worth of crap (that you ate behind the couch when no one was looking…shame) all in the same day, that would mean that 7% of what you ate for the day was crap.  Or better yet…93% was darn good!  Now look at how silly that is to worry about that 7%.  You still got an A- for the day.  Really right now with the stress?  WITH THAT BEING SAID!… before you bury yourself into a jar of peanut butter or lose it on the bowl of chocolate in the office, EAT YOUR DESIGNATED FOOD FOR THAT TIME.  If you have room afterward, go for it.  You will not eat anywhere near as much and that’s the key.  But denial doesn’t work.  Trust me.

Your body has zero discernment. “Is it better if I…”  Stop asking me questions?  Yes.  Oops…did I say that?  But who knows how I am going to finish this sentence?  Is it better if I:  kettlebell train, run vs. other cardio, lift before or after cardio, take a fish oil cap and so on instead of [fill in the blank]?  Can I just be so blunt here?  Honestly?  Will you come back and read my blog again if I go here?  (I’m just wondering.)  The person who asks me this question will typically benefit from just “doing”.  Doing anything.  Run to get the phone, run to the shower, run out of gas…who cares.  Just run.  Some of us are using “getting our stuff together” as cardio in and of itself.  You’re worn out creating the perfect plan.  Just do something.  None of you are getting ready for the Olympics so just get on with it already.  Really.  And this goes back to math again:  Your body has no idea whether you lifted a barbell, dumbbell, carousel or seashell, all it knows is that it was heavy and it must respond to that.  Don’t over think it.  Unless you’re using it for avoidance…

Is it your body or is it your circumstances? Are you really gaining weight or are you stressed out?  Are your jeans really that much tighter or is a big project coming up at work?  Do you really hate that little tiny piece of your inner thigh that is jiggly or are you in a fierce battle with your sister in laws?  Are your legs bigger than normal or are your kids out of control right now?  If you “suddenly” hate your body or any aspect of it, stop and assess what’s going on in your life at that time.  We tend to try to manage our problems in life through the scale because it’s controllable.  It’s easy to manage.  And it gives us a chance to say we “suck” and we’re ALWAYS looking for a chance to say we suck.  Knock it off.  Get out of the mirror.  You were fine yesterday and you’re just as fine today.  Now that mole, though…

Fish oil is not the same as fish oil caps. Should I have fish oil caps or fish oil?  Yes.  Oh, I just answered your question.  I know you’re thinking I didn’t but I did.  The two are not the same.  You would never ask me, “Broccoli or my multivitamin?”  You would have them both.  So, fish oil= all the benefits of caps plus pretty hair, skin, teeth, nails; reduction in stretch marks and loose skin; and better body composition.  Fish oil caps=increased cognitive skills, fat loss, hormone enhancement, anti-inflammatory properties and eye health.  Stop avoiding the fish oil please.

Skip the quotes and do the work. I love quotes, I use them a lot when blogging.  They’re cool and catchy and can be quite motivating at times.  But when it comes down to the get down, go through the process.  Do the work.  Sweat it out.  I don’t mean in the gym.  I mean in life.  Whatever is getting you down.  Whatever is bothering you.  Face it.  Stop trying to throw a quote up on your desk and “power through it” like you’re some kind of machine.  Here’s the deal:  it’s the process that makes us stronger, not denial.  Acting like there isn’t a problem and using a quote to get you through does not make you stronger—it makes you harder.  Which would you rather be?  A strong woman?  Or a hard woman?  Do. The. Work.  Cry if you need to.  Own what you must.  Call it what it is.  Humble yourself when necessary.  Speak firmly when it calls for it.  But under no circumstances are you allowed to hide under your desk, throw out a quote and wait for it to pass.  Not only is that ineffective, but I am already under the desk and there is no room down here for more!  Get out.

Whether I am working with you or not, I love you.  I hope you know that.  See you tomorrow… woop woop!

My youngest son is in Kindergarten this year and this is the age where they bring home all sorts of things about their family, their friends, what they like, what they don’t like and so on from school.  So last night, as I’m sitting in the family room vegetating on the couch (complete and utter shame), my son decides to go through his school pile on the other side of the room and bring me select items.  Somehow in this pile I missed this “What I Know About My Mommy” write up that came home in last month or so that describes a bunch of things my son knows about me.  Who hears me when I say that these things are absolutely precious and well worth the read?  Well this one did not disappoint.  I’m not going to put them all here but the one that got me…

My mommy’s name is “Jodi”.

My mommy is “22” years old.  Hahahaha!!  Almost 2 times over!

But the kicker—cuz there were some good ones—is what I do for a living:

“talks on the phone and is doing work with her friends”.

Oh you gotta love him!  Well he’s right, mommy talks on the phone for work and the women I work with are ‘friends’ in an odd way and honestly, I love what I do.  But one thing I do not love about what I do is running into things that I cannot explain, see more often than I like and cannot find research for.  These things drive me crazy because you want to help but you are not sure how and one of those things is a food intolerance.

Think about this scenario: one day…for no particular reason that you know of at the time…you suddenly find yourself sick as a dog after eating your lunch.  It’s the same lunch you have had for months.  You made it so you know its fine, it’s not spoiled and it came from the batch you ate the day before and so on, so you know it’s not that the food is bad.  But for some reason you are nauseous beyond belief and your digestive track is doing the Olympics.  If this was just one day, you’d overlook it.  But it’s more than just one day—it’s been a few weeks now.  And there’s no pattern to when you’re getting sick vs. what you are eating.  You start to guess a whole host of things wrong with you beginning with celiac, moving over to lactose intolerance and rounding out with a fresh case of IBS but I am here to tell you that it’s most likely none of those.  What seems to be killing us more is that we are intolerant to the foods we call “healthy”.

For the longest time I would talk about rotating foods in our daily diet because it’s not healthy to eat the same thing day in and day out.  I would say that you are limiting the amount of nutrients in your diet and that you are exposing yourself to the same pesticides all the time and they will build up in your system, etc, etc, etc.  At the time, I knew this to be true through research but what I didn’t know was one step further which are the food intolerances that created.  I didn’t have hardcore proof—just an inkling—and I didn’t have the amount of experience I have now to be able to stand upon what I was saying until now.

EATING THE SAME FOODS DAY IN AND DAY OUT FOR WEEKS ON END WILL ABSOLUTELY PUT YOU IN A POSITION TO DEVELOP A FOOD INTOLERANCE.  YOU MAY NEVER DEVELOP ONE, BUT YOUR POTENTIAL IS GREATER THAN OTHERS.

Ok, let’s first acknowledge that that is based on anecdotal information and not hard core, double blind studies.  Second, I have not worked with anyone who has a food intolerance that has also had a varied diet but that’s not to say that they do not exist–I just have not worked with them.  So with that being said, let me tell you about the 3 main culprits that we like to eat like psychos that could be getting ready to wreak havoc in your life:

Egg Whites

Yes we love them because they are fat free, a complete source of amino acids and the only acceptable protein for breakfast besides protein powder (for most folk) but these suckers are a loaded weapon.  Besides the obvious fact that eggs aren’t eggs anymore mainly because chickens aren’t chickens anymore, the thing that makes these things so lethal is that they are easy.  Not only are they easy, they are the only acceptable binding agent out there for us clean eaters (protein pancakes or muffins anyone?).  So not only do you eat them every day, but you eat them 2 and 3 times per day.  You put them in shakes, you scramble them, you have muffins, you have bars, you have a ton of different things all made with egg whites.  OY!!  But what you may not know is that egg whites are a known allergen and eating large amounts of them may cause a food intolerance.  How I’ve seen this one show up:  nausea or vomiting, headaches and red rashes in the winter months.

Chicken

I do want to ask…is that what they’re calling it these days?  Chicken is so full of estrogen and antibiotics that I’m not sure that they can call it chicken anymore.  But here’s another one that we eat on a level that’ll make your hair stand on end.  Many of us have some form of chicken EVERY SINGLE DAY.  Really right now?  And most of the times we are buying either the big Costco pack of it or we’re buying it at our local grocery store so we’re not getting an organic chicken or even an “all natural” chicken.  No, we’re knee deep in chemicals and additives talking about “we’re healthy”.  YIKES!  How I’ve seen this one show up:  MAJOR hormonal issues and/or super sensitive to all the other known allergens.  So you’re this walking pin cushion in terms of food additives and everything sets you off in either a rash, bloating, nausea, diarrhea, you name it.  But because chicken is so prevalent in your diet, you cannot lock it down to just that so you do not suspect.

Peanut Butter

What a nuisance PB is.  First, y’alls are obsessed.  A jar of PB can silence a room full of women.  It’s the Kryptonite of clean eaters.  You go from this hard core chic who can shut anything down in terms of temptations to a blubbering fool when someone pulls out a jar of this stuff.  It’s amazing to me the hold this food has on some of you.  And because PB is yummy, smooth on the palette and a form of good fat you eat it EVERY DAY.  No, I mean EVERY DAY.  You have anywhere from 2 to 4 tablespoons of PB a day—no joke.  However, PB is more of an allergen than any of those mentioned above and I’m not sure you care. Haha!  All joking aside, this is how I have seen this one show up:  a strong wheat/grain intolerance.  You cut out the grain thinking it’s the grain when it’s not—it’s the PB.  Nausea eating chicken or egg yolks.  Celiac symptoms such as diarrhea, loose movements or lack of nutrients even though you’re eating fine.

Let me make sure I say this so you’re not confused:

• I am not a doctor.
• I do not claim to be one.
• This is all anecdotal information.
• The clients that I work with that have verified these intolerances have done so through medical professionals.  So if I cannot verify that they have seen a doctor, I have not taken their situation into consideration.
• If you suspect you have this, go see a doctor.

This information is provided so that you can navigate your lifestyle effectively and begin to be proactive about the foods you eat instead of robotic.  Change the foods in your diet regularly!!  It can save you a ton of tummy ache.  If you are not sure how to do that, go here.  This is a series I did on how to safely and effectively change up your diet and keep the lean body you like and are used to.  Cool?  We’re in this for the long haul ladies.  Woop woop!!

Honestly, you women are crazy.  Last night I was on the phone with Kas (former Tuesday blogger) chatting away just catching up when I casually mentioned that I was blogging again.  Well she nearly flipped her lid and yelled at me saying that I never told her and why was I holding out.  But wait it gets better…  She’s on the phone with me, clearly agitated that she is now strapped in by this call that we’re on because she wants to…yes, wait for it…hang up to go read what I wrote.  WHAT?  Why not just ask me while you have me on the phone?  Hahahaha!!  Needless to say, we got a good laugh over that but she still hung up on me to read my blogs.  Ummm…whatever.

I am not sure if it’s me or what but this just makes no sense!

But this is our life, ladies.  We do things that do not make a lot of sense a lot of the times thereby wasting precious time.  But what if there were some things out there that do not make a lot of sense but somehow are beneficial for us?  Would you do them then?  Probably not but it’s worth a try:

1. Eat more to break a plateau: No matter how much I try to convince people this works, they still treat me like a dude with a big poster on himself that claims the world is ending tomorrow.  If you find yourself lifting 3 to 5 days per week, doing cardio even more than that and eating next to nothing and your body fat loss has come to a hault—consider eating more before eating less.  See most of you start off dieting and training with parameters that you should have at the *end* of your dieting and training season—not at the beginning.  If your goal date is 12 weeks away and you are already starving to death doing endless cardio and lifting like a fool, you’ve got a long, wasteful road ahead of you.  There is no doubt that somewhere in there you will hit a plateau.  When that happens  EAT MORE…not less!  Let me explain what this looks like:  all clean food, over a set amount of time, at least 50% more of your present intake and then go back to your original diet.  You’ll drop right away and be shocked.
2. Go on vacation to lose weight: Say you are the girl above and not only are you stuck in a rut, you are also exhausted.  Here is a little known secret:  you lose weight when you sleep, not when you move.  So if you never sleep, you never lose.  This is for the girl right now who is reading this and is getting 4 to 6 hours of sleep/night and can’t figure out what is wrong.  A surefire way of knowing if this is you is if you decide to go on vacation and you come back 5 pounds lighter after fully enjoying yourself for the week—this was you.  Ladies, give your adrenals a break and go to bed.
3. Can’t stop cheating?  EAT THE TREAT!: Deprivation causes madness.  Hands down.  ‘The more you deny, the more you will try’ and it can become all consuming if you allow it to be.  What’s the answer?  Take the temptation out by scheduling the treat in the diet.  And don’t just schedule it.  BE OK WITH IT.  *KNOW* that it’s fine.  Know that you are allowed to have this thing and it’s not going to do any damage.  If you don’t know it on the heart level not just the mind level, you will continue to snack uncontrollably.  TAKE THE TEMPTATION OUT and you will knock it off!

I know it seems outrageous and sometimes even gloomy.  But hang in there…it really does work!

We will do just about anything over here to help you ladies see how destructive your behaviors can become if you are not careful.  Maintaining a great body with definition and tightness takes a healthy balance between workout, nutrition and emotional health.  Many talk about it but very few have it.  We have been where you are and know all of what you are going through—trust us.  It seems so simple but it really isn’t.

Keep checking in as we go through all the things that you need to do to make it through eating clean and clean dieting the healthy way.  THAT’s the difference here.  Ciao for now!  Woop woop!

Happy Memorial Day everyone!  I hope you enjoyed a long weekend because I sure did.  I went to visit my parents which means the following: lots of napping, staying up a little too late watching tv with my mother, early morning coffee with my father, and getting in some great hiking and trail running.  It also means that I don’t go to the gym, but instead workout at home.  Thankfully my parents have a small gym area where they have some free weights, an elliptical and space for yoga.  But it also means that I won’t get in my regularly scheduled workout.  Additionally, if I am home for more than a day or two, it means I will have to restructure my entire week.  Whatever plan I am currently doing will have to be modified.

It also means that when I get back home, I usually have a day or two to fill with a miscellaneous workout.  This is the workout you do when you have an extra day to fill or the workout you do when you’ve just finished a program and are not yet ready to start a new one.  Or it is the workout you do when you need a break from your current plan.

This is a variation on that timed sets and can also be called “30 seconds on, 30 seconds off”.  Essentially you set up a bunch of exercises, each of which you were perform for 30 seconds.  In between each exercise you rest for 30 seconds.  Let me give you an example workout first, and then we can talk about variations.  This example is one I would call more of a metabolic romp that is full body with plyos.  As always, perform either a dynamic warm up or at least mobility work first.  Then find an area in the gym and set up all of your weights.  For exercises to be done with weight, chose a weight for which you can do 10 reps, but no more than 10.  There is no weight needed for the ploys.  Because you are lifting for time, a gym boss really comes in handy here.

• BB Front Squat (can also use DB)
• Squat Jumps
• BB Bentover Row
• Prone Jack
• DB Overhead Press
• Burpee
• BB Romanian Deadlift
• Push-Up

Based on the above, you perform front squats for 30 seconds, rest 30 seconds, squat jumps for 30 seconds, rest for 30 seconds and continue until you have finished 30 seconds of push-ups. That is 1 round.  Rest for 2 minutes and repeat for a total of 3 or 4 rounds.

Now that you’ve got the basic set-up, you can start playing with the exercises, rest periods and weight parameters so the workout best meets your goals.  In this example, mixed plyos and traditional lifting.  However, if you prefer a more traditional lift, replace the plyos with all traditional lifting exercises.  I also chose a 10 rep max weight.  However, if you are currently working in a lower rep scheme and want this work to stay in line with that scheme, chose a weight you can only lift for 6 reps.  You will still lift for the full 30 seconds, but because you are using a heavier weight, your reps will take longer.  However, lifting for time will force you to possibly push out a few extra reps – don’t worry if you have to rest in between finishing the 30 set, so long as you keep trying for the full 30 seconds.

I also chose to put together a full body workout.  However, you can put together any split you want.  And finally, I put this workout together for that miscellaneous time.  But, you can easily add something like this in once/week and progress it.  You can progress it by changing up the rest period or by increasing the number of reps you get out in each 30 seconds.  If you want to progress it by time, in week 2, lift for 35 seconds, rest for 25 seconds.  In week 3, lift for 40 seconds, rest for 20 seconds.  Finally in week 4, lift for 45 seconds, rest for 15 seconds.

If you want to progress by reps, keep track of the number of reps you perform in each 30 second interval (write them down during your 30 second rest period).  Keep track for each round you do.  Next week, try to get in more reps (one or two more).

As you can see, the possibilities are endless. But this is a great workout you can do anywhere and customize it to fit the general scheme of your current plan/goals.

I always say this and I truly mean this: I love what I do. I have been doing this for a very long time and as I grow older and wiser to the ways of you crazy ladies, I have learned a thing or two about food choices. One of the most asked questions of me besides ‘how can I tighten my bum?’ is “What can I have as a cheat meal?” Depending on where you are in your dieting, my answer typically is, “Anything you want. But if I was you, I wouldn’t have…”

CHEESE
I would avoid cheese like a strange substance on a park bench—and I mean that literally! Cheese begets cheese. Are you following me? But more importantly, cheese is an experience. Mostly a texture and salt experience, cheese feels good on the palette. It validates whatever meal you are eating. Not a fan of veggies? Put cheese on them and suddenly you can eat your veggies, your friend’s veggies, veggie platters, okra—who cares!

Of course whenever I tell someone to avoid cheese they ask about cottage cheese, which by the way does not count. I am only referring to hard cheeses so cottage, ricotta and feta do not count as cheeses to avoid. Everything else, though, will send you down the river without paddles, fast!

You cannot recover from a meal with cheese. Pizza for instance will set you back at least 2 days, possibly 3. If you think you are going to have pizza Saturday night and steel cut oats on Sunday morning and not notice the difference, you are fooling yourself. When I say ‘set you back’, I do not mean by weight gain. I mean by focus. Suddenly, everything needs cheese. Your eggs, your tuna, yourself at 4 in the afternoon when you are suddenly alone with a stick of Crackerbarrel cheddar cheese and are unsure how half of it is missing even though it was new when you took it out of the fridge. You know, everything. Honestly, spare yourself the pain of overshooting your cheat/treat meal (call it what you like, it is what it is)and avoid cheese.

ICE CREAM
WOW! Now here’s the beginning of Armageddon. Forget what people say about 2012 coming, your downfall is contained in a pint-sized package managed by 2 guys and a cow—Ben and Jerry. I have 3 words for you: DON’T DO IT. I would rather sharpen my pinky in an electric pencil sharpener before I would ever have ice cream as a cheat meal. Now first of all I have to be honest…I do not like ice cream. It doesn’t do it for me and I could truly take or leave it. But the rest of you would sell your first born to the Kathy Gifford College of Sweater Making located in luxurious downtown New Delhi just to get a ½ cup of the sinful treat in a flavor you may not even like. You want some fun? People watch at a restaurant and look for a woman who has ordered ice cream for dessert. The only thing more scandalous is the awkward scene from When Harry Met Sally—and if you haven’t seen it, do so to know what I am talking about.

Ice cream is a total assault of the palette. It’s a beat down that you are not equipped to handle half way through your dietary regimen that you so proudly have been enduring. Texture: heavenly. Not only is it smooth and creamy, it’s ice cold. Taste: outrageous. Stuffed with just about anything you can think of, ice cream is an aggregation of flavors. Experience: unlike any other. If you go for a sundae, you have hot, cold and sweet at the same time and that is just hard to resist. Here…take these nails…you’ll need them for your coffin.

What ice cream does is make everything in your life pale in comparison. Suddenly your husband isn’t attractive anymore. Calling him Chunky Monkey doesn’t make him any more appealing than he was before you dropped your face in the container. Good try, though. You almost wished that uncomfortable and unpleasant things came with ice cream: “Hi Ms. Jones, good to see you here for your annual exam. Here is a robe to change into and you will find a dish of buttercrunch ice cream with sprinkles in the examination room to help you through the appointment. Enjoy.” Women would be lined up with all kinds of fake ailments if this ever happened. The medical insurance system would be thrown for a loop with false claims left and right.

My point: it is so hard to return to a focused diet the day after ice cream that it is not funny. Nothing tastes good. Nothing shuts down the craving. Nothing compares to peanut butter mocha fudge almond praline with sprinkles and whip cream on top except mmm…yum… baked chicken with broccoli. Why didn’t I think of that? (total sarcasm there)
When you hit maintenance, have some ice cream. Til then, avoid it like the rails on the staircases of the subway station. Ewww.

ALCOHOL
I am going to make this one brief because it’s simple. One drink makes every seem ok. From eating your whole fridge to going on a second date with someone you would never go on a second date with, alcohol makes you lose your senses. And then on top of that, it makes you feel like crap the next day so that you indulge even more. We have all learned this lesson the hard way, but let’s try to help those out who may not know: avoid this!

I have a post on here about this and you should read it when you have time.

In the mean time, choose your cheat meals wisely. They really do make a difference in your diet experience.