I feel less than truthful.  Well, maybe that’s a little over the top but I feel obligated to let you know what I am all about.  Not Jodiojo or MP4, etc, although ultimately they end up being one in the same, but me.  Jodi.  The psycho woman with the big afro and personality to match.

Many of you have been allowing me into your minds/homes/lives for years and the trust level you have with me is astonishing, and at times unnerving, but that trust is what has allowed me to be as open with you as I have been.  Whether I am sharing about my personal experiences or my work in general, they are directly tied to me.   Every day I put them out to be read, inspected, surveyed and basically judged by those I do know and those I don’t.  Essentially it is the same thing you do with me when you first work me so I am not saying any of this to garner self pity.  I, instead, pray that you read on and see where I am going with this.

I would be lying to you if I tried to say that teaching/coaching/blogging is easy.  At times, this can be paralyzing because as a group fitness instructor turned personal trainer turned mommy turned coach I have lived my life publicly, although I am one of the most private people you will ever meet.  My body, my thoughts, my creativity and my work are all subject to immediate judgment and unlike your average employee who is brought in for a yearly review, I receive mine in real time from many different “bosses”–not always in the kindest ways.  Imagine the emotion of a 5 year old who works diligently on a craft so that he/she could hand it over to whomever for them to say, “Good job”.  That’s a crucial moment that can really crush a kid’s spirit if given the chance.  I lived that way.  I am a super softy who used to wear their heart on their sleeve.  It took nothing to rattle my cage even though you would never ever know or ever think that I had that kind of emotional capacity.  But as I continue to understand myself and women as a whole, more and more I realize how silly this has been all these years.  We cannot, and should not be governed by what others think of us.  We’ll go crazy if we do.

I serve the lean community; those of us who aspire to have a body that is worthy of nakedness.  I have been doing so for 15 years now.  On paper it is a great goal to have but in reality, it can be very caustic.  A goal is never bad in and of itself (assuming it’s legal and not socially awkward), it’s what we become to get the goal that’s the bad part and being fit can have that affect on us.   Debilitating control, daunting rituals and endless comparing can suck all the life out of a great endeavor and make it like a millstone grinding us down to a nub.  We’re not happy until we get there and then when we do get there, we’re still not happy.  So when I think about what I am being party to, I constantly have to remind myself that yes I am here to get you from A to B.   I am here to make you laugh, because we all need to laugh these days.  I am here to keep you safe while dieting because it’s a jungle out there.  And while all of these are well and good, they’re not my absolute, true goal for you which is why I feel less than truthful today.

When I realized how silly it was for me to allow others to decide how my day was going to go, I also remembered how *real* the pain was.  Even though I didn’t want to feel that way, I couldn’t ignore how real it was.  Rejection is reality.  It’s how the world operates.  Feeling exposed is definitely not fun and most of us have grown up with some adult making us feel less than special at some point in our lives.   Thus we walk around proving ourselves constantly through our jobs, our personal belongings, our relationships and without a doubt…our bodies.  Our actions scream “I am important.  Look at what I have done.”  The crazy thing is one day we realize that no one is listening to us shout because they themselves are shouting and life has become one big shout fest.

I cringe at the thought of coming off “preachy” but I need to let you know that that’s not what I want here.  I do not want us to shout in any capacity.  Do I want us to have healthy bodies?  Heck yeah!  Do I want us to be happy with the work that we have done in the kitchen and in the gym?  You betcha!  But when I sit down to write that’s not what I’m thinking about.  I’m thinking, “How can I relay this information in a way that’s fun to read and educational but drives the point home that leanness is just a lifestyle—not an answer.”  It is not going to solve world peace or change the economy and it certainly isn’t going to make people like or accept you more.  If they do, run from them because they are not the ones you want in your life long term anyways.  I know you are thinking, “I read all this to get to that point? Really?”  and I am going to tell you yes.  Because I know firsthand that we can think we know things in our minds and yet, be thoroughly betrayed by our hearts.  We need to live this lifestyle because we feel good doing so and because it makes sense to us, but not because we are proving to whomever that we are somebody now that we have a ‘hot body’.

There is no doubt that this is going to affect how I write and what I write about.  All of us here at Jodiojo think like this on a personal level, not just on a company level so I know they are all nodding their heads as they read along.  This is important for me to point out because when I go into my series on goals or on body types, if you don’t understand where I am coming from you’ll have a hard time picking up what I’m putting down.  I also want you to understand my mindset when I write a post because I can be blunt, funny and loving all at the same time and I never want you to forget the loving part. Reading the truth is not always comfortable.  We need to understand our motives for things since that’s what drives us during a 45 min. cardio session whether we realize it or not.

It is rare for me to pose for a picture so this was a huge gem of a find on my hubby’s computer.  I had dubious motives back then, let me tell you.  Sad thing is I still own those shoes.  I very low maintenance.

Ok, I have blathered on long enough.  I’m not sure what series I am going through next but it will be a deep one because clearly I’m in that sort of mood.  Keep your hands in the ride until we come to a complete stop ladies.  This could get ugly.  Woop woop!

Do you really know how to set goals or do you just write a bunch of ‘wants’ on a piece of paper and hope for the best?  Goals are great things to have because they keep us focused and wanting more of ourselves, but do you write them risk free?  Do you stop short of really demanding something of yourself that might possibly illicit a change out of you?  What I really want to know is…

How High Would You Climb If You Could Not Fall?

I want to know.  If you knew there is was no chance of you falling, how high would you go?  What would you write on that piece of paper as a goal?  Why would knowing you would not fall change anything? 

GOAL SETTING

Here is one task that I truly feel is misinterpreted.  There are many theories about goal setting and I do not want to go into any of them in this post but Mindtools and MyGoals.com both have great theories on how to set goals and put them into action so you can check them out if you want to be super technical about it.  But I want you to think before you even go there to learn how to put any goal you have in action, “Am I already limiting myself when I set my goal?”  When you go to write that goal down and put it into action, is it already clipped at the edges to make it pretty and doable lest you stick your neck out a little and take a risk?

ENDLESS GUARANTEES

(This is for the ladies, guys.  Sorry.  I have one coming for you soon, hang tight.)

We women need to Believe.  We have an insatiable desire to believe in something and invest in it.  It is hard wired into our system.  When we were younger, it was the hot band/singer at the time.  As we aged, it was a college professor.  Getting into the work field had us looking up to our mentors/leaders ahead of us.  No matter what stage of life we are in, we are looking to believe…so that we know we can do it, too.  We need reassurance.  We need a guarantee.  We need to know that we are not just making something up and that it can be done.  And then when we have that, we need it some more.  And then we look in more places for more reassurance.  And finally, we look again!  In other words, we very rarely come to a place where we believe that we too can achieve the task at hand and we are in a never ending search for a guarantee that we can do what we are setting out to do. 

REVERSE THE PROCESS

Instead of having you write down a lofty goal and then filling you with endless quotes as to why you are good enough to do what you want to do, I want to just ask again:

What is going to happen if you do not achieve that goal?  OR

How High Would You Climb If You Could Not Fall?

If there is no risk of harm, why stop climbing?  Can you write that out for yourself?  What is the worst thing that can happen if you set a lofty goal, take a risk and then fall short of it?  Will you lose your house?  Will it end your marriage?  Can you still pay for your kids to go to school?  What’s the worst thing that can happen?  Why can’t we just Trust and Believe that if we do what we are supposed to, that everything else will fall in place?  Where are we failing ourselves?

We buy into products (Mary Kay, Pampered Chef), people (Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra), methods (The Secret) and etc. and we become motivated enough to sit down and write goals for someone we do not believe in!!  Is anybody hearing me here??  Invest in yourself!  Believe in yourself because I ask one more time, “What’s the worst thing that can happen if you fall short of that goal?”  You would either try again or analyze what went wrong and fix it.  But no matter what, you would be a better person in the end.  You will have learned, grown, expanded, become more confident just knowing the world didn’t explode—you will have done something more than just the usual, “I want to lose 5 pounds.” 

Sticking your neck out is rewarding.  Standing up to your fears is tremendous.  Yes, you did not get the part in the Broadway show that you wanted (totally made up scenario here), but you went to 10 auditions and met 2 influential producers and got some great experience in the mean time.  You would have never done that the year before so yes, you fell short of your goal and you may feel dejected because you did not get the part, but guess what, you are still alive and you can still perform.  What was the risk?

FACING FACTS

I feel like Mondays are a time when everyone sits down and writes up new goals for the week, month or whatever.  Go ahead, write your normal goals down on paper…and then write one helluva whopper of a goal that makes you shake in your boots.  Go ahead, I dare you.  What’s the worst that could happen?

Make this a good week, folks! 

p.s. My little one is much better.  Thank you everyone!:o)