I need to interrupt the current series on The Pill.  Normally, when I get on a topic I am like a dog with a bone and I want to finish it but this has cropped up so much in the last week, it is worthy of a post.

We need to chat about…food.  Not just the edibleness of food, but what food represents and how personal it is in our lives.  If you really want to know the power of food, take a mixed crowd of women of all ages and bring out two trays.  On one tray is a healthy appetizer that is very good for you but maybe a 7 on the scale of 1 to 10 in flavor.  On the other tray is a not-so-good-for-you appetizer but is an 11 on the scale of 1 to 10 in flavor.  The event is a high visibility event, there are at least 50 women in the room and everybody there knows at least 2 people.

Some background for you:

The room is full of different sizes of women but not inclusive of all sizes.

Also, all types of women (athletic, moms, single, married, childless—you name it) are represented.

There is no music or anything that serves as a distraction.

The average age in the room is 36 with the age span going from 28 to 46.

There’s at least a few races represented in the room.

It’s an event for an organization-type-thing which means that there’s politics and there’s a pecking order.

The appetizers are the only food served at this event.

The trays were being brought around but everyone knew what the choices were without having to see the trays.

This is fully fictitious but I want to make it as real to you as possible.

Here are some observations for you:

• There was a ton of chatter in the room before the trays came out.
• About 30% of the women were not talking with anyone, though.
• There was noticeably less chatter in the room once the trays came out.  It wasn’t silence, but it was a loud hush.
• Three women hopped on the yummy appetizer right away and were very loud and funny about it.  Jokes were flying as they were eating.  They made at least 2 self conscious remarks but kept on eating.  They looked around the whole time without looking like they were looking around and 1 of them went back for a second one.
• An even bigger group of women, say about 8 or so, attacked the healthy appetizer.  They said nothing about it. They kept talking about whatever had their attention in the first place but never mentioned the food once.
• The majority of the women abstained from either choice…until…the “captivating women” chose what they wanted.  Then the other women in the room slowly made choices to eat.
• As soon as the trays came out, at least 70% of the room began to fidget with their clothing.  Pulling down skirts, flattening out their shirts on the bellies, buttoning jackets—if you could adjust it, then it was adjusted.
• At least half of the room suddenly learned how to scope a whole room out without moving their heads.  Their eyes developed some kind of Xray/360 degree vision where they could see through the back of their head to see who was eating what and how much.  It was eerie.  Felt like a bad M. Night Shyamalan movie.
• Those that ate more than one appetizer all had a remark.  Either about what they were wearing, how they were on a diet, how they hadn’t eaten all day.  Basically, qualifiers.
• Some stared at some women in pure, noticeable disdain for either their choice of appetizer or for the quantity they ate.
• A few women went around offering their friends an appetizer—the yummy one—while they themselves chose the healthy one afterwards.
• Those that were alone chose the yummy appetizer 2 to 1 to those who were engaged in conversation.
• By the end of the serving of the food, 80% of the room had one of each appetizer although it was varied as to who had which one first.  Thirteen percent had only the healthy appetizer with the other 7% having just the yummy appetizer.  No one could abstain from eating all night long.
• Over the course of the evening, at least 2 separate groups broke off and headed to the bathroom to talk about who chose what and why!!

On Friday I will finish this in my audio post.  I will tell you where I am going with this and why.  But just know:  food IS…  Do you recognize yourself in there anywhere or someone close to you?  I’d love to know below.  Back to the series tomorrow.  Woop woop!

Yo, if you didn’t know…it’s Friday!  WOOHOO!  I know you want to kick off your shoes, lay back and enjoy a restful weekend hanging out in front of the TV or maybe visiting friends somewhere—who knows?  Who cares?  It’s the weekend!  But for most people with some type of goal, whether it be weight loss, performance related or etc., the weekend represents a murky land of temptation and dread that starts out with the best of intentions but ends with you in a confessional spilling your guts out to the diet tracker gods.

Sound familiar?  “I could not wait to get home on Friday.  I was exhausted and just wanted to chill on the couch for a minute while I figured out what I was doing this weekend.  Since I planned my food for the whole day it was cool.  But Saturday, I was too tired to plan ahead and I figured I would just do it when I got up.  Of course I got up late because I was dead so I mapped out a route of good places to eat while I was on the run.  Well I ended up not going where I had planned and didn’t have any food on me so I tried to find a place to get a salad.  Now I am one meal short, starving and my girlfriend says she’s going to be late for lunch—can I wait?  I needed to get something so I grabbed a yogurt from SB with a coffee.  The day only went downhill from there.  So now, it’s Sunday and I will start anew tomorrow so I am not rushing to go food shopping today.  I will finish up the leftovers from yesterday’s romp and just call it a day.  I feel like I am always starting over…*sigh*.”

FOR THE GOAL ORIENTED DIETERS/PERFORMERS

Three things that kill your diet progress:

1.       Lack of Planning

If you enter the weekend without a plan, you might as well just skip all the silly formalities and just make the scale go up by 2 pounds right now.  Don’t even bother to eat the food.  Just gain the weight at your desk right now and save yourself some time of having to play the game above.  Let’s jump right to Monday where we begin trying to work it off for the rest of the week! haha 

Honestly, if you are goal oriented, there is no difference between Tuesday and Saturday or Monday and Sunday and etc.  You are obligated to treat those days with the same level of seriousness that you do on the weekday. 

Wake up early—not necessarily as early as M-F, but still early

Plan your food for the day like you would a weekday

Look up any restaurant possibilities and check out their menus

Don’t leave the house without knowing where you are going

If you are in play date Hell with kids (so sorry to hear), bring snacks with you JIC

2.       Lack of Focus

I am not sure what it is about the weekend that makes us lose our heads and throw all caution to the wind.  Is the freedom of time?  Is it childish rebellion?  I have no idea what it is but we can make some downright dumb @ss decisions simply because it is Saturday. 

I don’t care, I love cream cheese crab dip with muenster cheese and brie (I so made that up and it sounds nasty TBH).  I’ll be back on my diet tomorrow!

No you won’t.  You’ll be feeling so bad about eating that crap that you’ll be in mourning for at least 2 days.  I’m feeling some Southwest Egg Rolls, 2 slices of pizza and at least one cupcake following that mess!

I will go to the gym tomorrow.  I have too much to do today.  I’ll go after Church.

No you won’t.  First of all, you may possibly even miss church because you’re in a fat induced coma from the above meal.  Next, you feel like crap from the above mayhem so now you don’t even want to work out!  Let’s be honest here.  GO WHEN YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO.  The only time cancellations work in your favor is if it snows!  Any other time it just makes you feel bad thereby setting off a wave of bullcrap!

I will plan out my week this weekend then I’ll go food shopping…

No you won’t.  You will at work, though.  Plus wouldn’t you want to get paid to do that instead of doing it on precious weekend time?  What’s wrong with you?  Even if you could do that on the weekend—don’t!  That’s what meetings in work are for!  Planning your week!  Have I taught you nothing?

Be smart.  Begin positive reinforcement with yourself for the weekend on Thursday afternoon.  Have some great pep talks and keep the language going all weekend.  The minute you take your eyes off the prize amidst the temptations of the weekend, you are done for!  May the force be with you.

3.       Friendly Saboteurs

She’s your girl.  And you love her.  But she is as good for your diet as Madoff is for your retirement fund.  You need to keep her at arms length Friday through Sunday.  Maybe she’s hot already so what does she care.  Or maybe she’s not and what does she have to lose, who cares!  All that matters is that she comes with good times and 3 pounds every weekend!  Or how about the man?  Is he adding to the drama?  You’re googly eyed all weekend so you didn’t even notice the dress size he added on your behind when he wined and dined you and then left you for dead in front of the treadmill. 

Pick your friends wisely.  Are they going the same direction as you?  If you are drinking with them every weekend and then every Monday saying, “I just need to have more will power and say no.” you are fooling yourself.  That’s like buying a yummy cake and saying you’re only going to have one piece.  Umm…yeah right.  Or maybe you have the will of steel and can do that, but I guarantee you that you will be miserable every day that cake is in sight.  That’s when you find yourself at 2 in the morning on the floor of your kitchen eating that cake with no hands.  Now that’s a shame!  Denial feels worse than just abstaining.  See your friends that make you lose your “diet mind” once a month or so.  Do not make them an every weekend habit or you will never make your goal.

Have fun this weekend.  Stay safe and stay focused.  Monday starts a whole new adventure for us!  WOOP WOOP!:o)