–having an urgent need, desire. One of the worst feelings you can have when you are scale dependent is getting up one morning and the scale says something you are not mentally prepared for or seeing your life out of control with no way to slow it down.
The “I Am Carb Sensitive” Diet
What is a good example of this diet? Any no starch diet such as Paleo, South Beach, competition diet, sugar busters
Why do we think we do this? We are sensitive to carbs, we were never meant to eat starches, sugar makes us crazy
Why do we really do it? We have an event and we need to drop 5 pounds fast, we’re suddenly up 5 pounds and we need to get rid of it fast or we have not eaten starches for so long (because we are still doing the celebrity diet) that now when we do have them we blow up like a puffer fish in within 10 min. of eating them so we’re now in a battle.
There are so many jacked mindsets within this diet that I almost did not know where to start. From panic attacks to pure unadulterated weight gain mythology, we can really get ourselves worked up over something as simple as oatmeal and swear that we do so much better without it. Only, we do not really live without starch/sugar. Instead, we start this really bittersweet love affair with sweet potatoes, oatmeal and any other grain that sounds impressive to pronounce (quinoa, spelt, etc.) where we eat them once in a blue moon, shun them and then cry over them later on because we want to eat them but can’t. Once that gets old, we decide to stop eating them for good and we can hang for a few weeks until we realize the scale is not magically moving just because we gave up starches (how dare it) so we start sneaking sugary type carbs all the while swearing that we cannot eat them. Eventually we gain back what we initially lost just cutting out carbs and then we convince ourselves that we gained it back because we ate starch and not because the starch came in the form of cookies or ice cream. Or better, yet, we really do lay off the starches because we really can’t take the way they make us feel but then we become a peanut butter pimp pushing it at every meal, occasion and event like a crackhead lost on a peanut farm. It is crazy. No matter what stage I catch you in on this diet, you are in full justification mode ready to go with every reason why you are the only one out there who really cannot eat starch and how bad it is for you and how such and such doesn’t eat them and they look great and… Hold on while I load up the next round of justification.
Here are some things that happen when doing this diet:
1) None of us really have a start date or an official goal of this diet. We tend to waft in and out of it. We wake up one Monday and just stop eating starches—again, because in our warped thinking the pounds should just fly off now—but we never *change* anything else about what we are doing. We do not measure our portion sizes or increase our veggies now that we are missing those precious cals nor do we change our exercise regimen. No…we sort of coast into this odd sort of hypnosis diet that causes us to start weighing ourselves frantically every day to see if something has changed—although nothing has really changed.
2) We are absolutely convinced it was starches that made us this way in the first place although almost all of us have had the fake sugar, fake salad dressing, protein powder laced with fake sugar, turkey bacon chemical phase that none of us really ever consider. Nor do we realize that that could possibly have an impact on what we may be sensitive to diet wise because it is much easier for us to stop eating 100% whole grain oatmeal that has 5g of protein, 5g of fiber and fills us up like cement in a bucket than it is to figure out what is going on. That takes time and there is no time. “We *feel* fat.”
3) Honestly, when that feeling of “I need to drop 5 pounds” takes over, someone could tell us that our liver would fall out if we did not eat a starch and most of us would take the chance regardless. NOTHING—and I mean NOTHING—can convince a woman to stop doing whatever folly she is doing when a) her pants suddenly do not fit, b) someone important made a snarky comment regarding her weight or c) she is going to a class reunion. If any of these things are in place, there will be no starch eating til the drama passes! This means that this diet, unlike all the others, cannot be stopped once it is started until we are finally convinced it will not work. This is THE diet trump card of all trump cards. If you pull this one out on me, I say “uncle” and move on my merry way.
The Extreme Makeover Diet
What is a good example of this diet? Changing the way you eat from top to bottom (becoming a vegan, starting a raw food diet, looking for locusts), changing the way you workout (trying triathlons, trying Crossfit, trying MMA), changing where you workout (you’re outside, you’re in the air, you’re in the ocean), hiring a nutritionist/trainer/physical therapist/yoga specialist.
Why do we think we do this? We do this to get our mojo back, get back into it, get focused, find ourselves, start anew and so on.
Why do we really do this? All hell just broke loose in our lives and instead of dealing with that, we need a worthy, expensive distraction that will force us to focus only to realize $2000 later that we just needed to face the pink elephant in the room.
You will not find ANYONE who knows this one better than me, for real. This is also called the “ostrich in the sand” diet or the “if I don’t acknowledge it, it can’t happen” diet. If you ever find yourself in a place where life sucks this bad that you feel the only way to cope is overhaul your entire workout regimen, call someone—heck, call me—and fess up as to what is going down on your end. I have seen so many diet and exercise nightmares unfold because of this when a simple phone call or 3 hour lunch with someone could truly set you on the right track.
There is a ginormous pressure on us to have it all together. We may be the “athletic one” or the “hot body” or “the good mom” or whatever label you may feel others know you as *because* of your fitness level and dedication which makes us feel as if we always have to be that one that holds it together. But that is a lie from the pit of hell, girls, and all it does is hold us in our own self contained prison. Yes, someone is watching you, but they are not hoping you continue to hold it all together; they are hoping you will be human and let your hair down in front of them.
Here is one way how this diet comes about:
You are going along fine for a bit, life seems to be ok. Your body is where we want it to be and you have a rhythm. Then, bammo! Something happens that may seem small at first but it upsets your sense of “control” and you begin to try to maintain that control through eating, working out, juggling life and so on. Soon disordered eating rears its ugly head and you are not full out bingeing and purging but instead you are going good for 3 days, out of control for 4. You have now done the Paying Penance Diet, the Hypnosis Diet, the “I am carb sensitive” Diet at least 3 times and you *feel* as if you are out of options. You see the train coming and you cannot get off the track to save your life so the ‘light bulb’ goes off and you think, “I know what I need.” Insert whatever new thing there is but this is not small–not a diet change—this is a life change.
There are so many other reasons why this happens: drama at home with significant other, sudden increase in weight, increased job stress, financial crisis, sick loved one and so on. You are trying to “make that thing go away” through your diet and exercise and it is not going to work. The only exercise you are going to accomplish with this diet is an exercise in futility. I understand how this happens because the fear of whatever you are facing is great—totally get it—but when it is all said and done, that thing you are facing is still going to be there only now you are X amount of dollars in the hole, doing a new radical workout you really are not in to and eating foods that you hate. Call someone please.