When you were younger life was carefree and summers were never long enough.  You spent all your time at the beach or as you got older, with your girlfriends at the beach.  Conversation never lacked with them and although from time to time someone would have an attitude with someone else, for the most part you all got along great.  As you’ve aged, though, things have changed.  Some jealousies have cropped up, new girls have come into the mix and there’s this weird underlying tension that, at times, makes you uneasy.  You long for the “old days” when life was so simple and you didn’t notice how critical and self centered some of your girlfriend’s have become and now here you sit on the deck with them all, on a gorgeous summer night, wondering why you don’t measure up and how come this doesn’t feel so good anymore.

I think obsessively…about how no matter how much I work out, I never have legs like X have.  Her legs are perfect.  Honestly, if I had my way, I lace a bottle of Nair with something and give her something jacked up to worry about for a change.  Sigh.  And why Z just keeps shooting out jabs all night long about how *she* doesn’t have to work out that much anymore and how *she* solved all her issues with this great trainer and how *perfect* her body is now and why don’t *I* go and see him, too, since I’m working out so hard.  I would have punched her in the mouth if it wasn’t for the fact the she’s married to a lawyer.

With eyes wide open I see…a woman beyond great legs in X.  She’s spent more time asking about me and my life than anyone else here.  Yes, I’m jealous and I have to get over that.  She has great legs and I want them.  She also just spent 10 minutes frothing over my hair.  Granted, hers does look like she had a horrible run in with a Vitamix on the high setting, clearly I need to get over myself and help her out.  I never thought to help her because I can’t get past her legs.  What is my gig?  And for the love of all that is holy, poor Z.  Seriously.  Man, I would kill for her body and I would love not to work out so hard but if that’s the only thing she can talk about all night—I’d rather remove my excess body fat with a Flowbee and a butter knife in a back room of a seedy bar than be that obsessed.  More than anything, I don’t know if anyone else notices the way I do—but Z is one unhappy camper.

Here comes the wine and the chatter goes from casual, catch-up kind of chatter to slower, more personal talking amongst you all.  You realize the group is beginning to splinter off into smaller conversations on the deck and you’re not sure which one you want to join.  X and Y are chatting about their kids.  Cute convo but you don’t have any and you’re not sure you want to go there all night.  Z, A and B are talking about Z’s marvelous adventures with her new star trainer and all that that entails.  You’re ready to go MMA on her if you have another glass of wine.  Time to slow the pace there.  C and D are chatting about nothing in particular, yet, but both of them intimidate you.  You’re not sure which one is has it more together but it doesn’t matter because either one makes you feel like an amateur at life.  You decide to hop in with them and the squirming, primping and excuse making by you starts almost immediately.

I think obsessively…how fat I feel.  How dumb I look.  How much I haven’t done with my life.  How much I struggle to keep my body looking the way it does and they don’t.  They’re not asses like Z is, which is nice, but they still don’t have to work hard to look great.  It would take me hours to find an outfit like C’s.  I’d never be able to put something together like that.  Why do I look like I just raided a halfway house’s linen closet and D looks like the model out of the fall catalogue of Ann Taylor Loft?  UGH!!

With eyes wide open I see…something I have never seen before.  Either we have never talked alone like this or the wine makes people share things they never would have before (who guessed the wine?).  Here are two women I truly admire and have a serious girl crush on talking about struggles that they have that I would 1) never imagine and 2) do not ever struggle with.  The fears and paranoia these two ladies have is mind boggling.  Now truth be told, they’re both 2 glasses in with no signs of slowing down and I can’t imagine what they’ll be sharing in an hour or so.  I feel bad.  I have spent a long time being jealous and insecure over their lives when I’m now sitting here thinking I would do anything not to be where they are right now (and not in a judgey sort of way, more like in a “I’m-sorry-I-didn’t-realize-you-were-human-because-I’ve-been-so-obsessed” sort of way.)

The night ends with you becoming closer with two people who you can learn a lot from and share with.  They can give you a better sense of fashion since your idea of dressing up is taking a shower and wearing deodorant and you can show them how to live life since you do that pretty well without even trying.  Both of them are in love with you because you spent half the night talking them off of a ledge and helping them see the faultiness of their logic without making them feel like jerks.  It’s a rare talent but you clearly possess it.  Now if you can just stomach Z for more than 10 minutes, you may be able to find something good in her, too…

The summary of all four posts is next.   Hang tight, it’s time for some rules, guidelines and empathy…  Woop woop!

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So you know that I have been to the doctor’s office this week, but what you may not know is that I have now been 4 times in less than a week for various other things.  I don’t know if you do this but I tend to group my appointments all at the same time.  So I have found myself sitting in the back area of the offices—not in a waiting room but not in an individual office either—getting a peek at other patients being oriented for their visits.  This includes watching other women getting “weighed in” for their visits.  This got me thinking…

We have various reactions to the number on the scale and depending on what’s going on in our lives it can change our reaction.  Here are some things that we do in response to the scale:

WEIGHING OURSELVES IN THE MORNING

If we get up in a good mood and we like how we feel, we’ll step on the scale.

At this point the scale is either going to agree with how we feel (i.e. give us a good number) and in that case we can get dressed and go to work with no hassle.  We may pick out something a bit on the body hugging side because—hey, the scale said we can.  So bright colors abound and difficult material like khaki on us somewhere, we’re living on the edge.  If the scale disagrees with what we were feeling (i.e. it’s mysteriously up 2 to 4 pounds without cause), we are now suddenly dressing for a funeral.  You can pretty much figure out when someone else has done this when they come into work wearing black pants, a black camisole covered by a black sweater and a pair of easy spirit type black shoes on.  Short of her singing an Amish hymn, you know something’s up.

If we get up in a bad mood and we hate how we feel, we’ll step on the scale.

Why do we do this?  To punish ourselves, of course.  So if the scale disagrees with us and is actually down a pound or two we have 1 of 2 reactions:  a) we’ll think that’s bull crap because we know we look like junk so now all of a sudden the scale is not an accurate litmus wheras the day before we were using it to validate life on Mars or b) we’ll accept it but find ourselves an hour later buying something we so don’t need to eat because we’re in a bad mood thinking to ourselves that ‘we have a pound to spare so who cares’.  No matter what, though, we hate how we feel so we cannot celebrate the number.  It’s lying.  But if the scale agrees with the way we are feeling and is up a pound or two, we are bringing the Wrath of Khan to work that day.  If we can unleash the Crackin’ we will.  If we could make it rain outside, we’d do whatever dance we could because now…heading into our closet, it’s not about funeral—it’s about frump!  If it is too big, baggy, ugly, plain, banned in modern civilization or found on the floor that morning—it’s going on.  Nothing can save this day other than winning the lottery or finding out something vindicating about someone else.  Other than that, the day is shot.

WEIGHING OURSELVES LATER IN THE DAY

This in and of itself is an anomaly so when it happens there’s always a reason:

• We are on a losing streak so essentially we want to brag to ourselves by seeing the number late in the day with our clothes on, after eating still be lower than whatever our litmus number was.
• We don’t want to know how much we really weigh so if we weigh ourselves during the day with our clothes on after eating all day, we know it is better than whatever that number was.
• We had a bad day and what better way to top it off than weigh ourselves midday so we can further dump on the day.
• We want to weigh ourselves in the morning and convince ourselves we lost X amount of pounds overnight because we didn’t eat something we passed on that day.

PUBLIC WEIGHING

Whether this is done in a doctor’s office or in the bathroom of your gym, the reaction is the thing we try to suppress:

ABSORPTION This is when there is no reaction to the number on the scale but there is slight delay in her movement.  Silently she just screamed and you were allowed to witness it.

MUTTERING She’s pissed but she can’t hide it although she’s not one to cut up in public.  So she just told that scale where to go in a not-so-aggressive sort of way.

SHOCK This is the girl who steps on and off the scale at least 4 times before coming back to the scale with a dumbbell of known weight to check the accuracy.  Trust me, after verification she’ll move on to MUTTERING or HATRED.

EXCITEMENT Much like shock but with less tension.  She’ll get on and off the scale more times than a cured ham at a deli counter just to make sure.  If she is really happy and totally self absorbed, she may have a friend hop on to verify who may be the opposite and head into SHOCK followed by MUTTERING.  That’s a good time to get out of the bathroom.

UNBELIEF Just like shock but is now followed by EXCITEMENT.  This may bring on HATRED (see below) if the girl in her naiveté says something dumb like, “And I’m not even trying.”  Or worse… “And after all that I ate this weekend.”  Run.  Get out fast.  Could be a brawl by the showers.

HATRED If this is in the doctor’s office, the patient will say she weighed herself that morning and tell the NP what it was in an abrupt tone.  This is a polite way of saying, “Bug off! You’re not messing up MY day.”  If this is in the gym, when the EXCITEMENT or UNBELIEF girl steps off the scale, this woman will come along and say that the scale reads low and she needs to add a few pounds to her reading to be accurate.  Nasty stuff right there.

What a nuisance that box is.  Have you done any of these?  I’ve done a few.  Let me know below!  More to come…  Woop woop!!

I need to interrupt the current series on The Pill.  Normally, when I get on a topic I am like a dog with a bone and I want to finish it but this has cropped up so much in the last week, it is worthy of a post.

We need to chat about…food.  Not just the edibleness of food, but what food represents and how personal it is in our lives.  If you really want to know the power of food, take a mixed crowd of women of all ages and bring out two trays.  On one tray is a healthy appetizer that is very good for you but maybe a 7 on the scale of 1 to 10 in flavor.  On the other tray is a not-so-good-for-you appetizer but is an 11 on the scale of 1 to 10 in flavor.  The event is a high visibility event, there are at least 50 women in the room and everybody there knows at least 2 people.

Some background for you:

The room is full of different sizes of women but not inclusive of all sizes.

Also, all types of women (athletic, moms, single, married, childless—you name it) are represented.

There is no music or anything that serves as a distraction.

The average age in the room is 36 with the age span going from 28 to 46.

There’s at least a few races represented in the room.

It’s an event for an organization-type-thing which means that there’s politics and there’s a pecking order.

The appetizers are the only food served at this event.

The trays were being brought around but everyone knew what the choices were without having to see the trays.

This is fully fictitious but I want to make it as real to you as possible.

Here are some observations for you:

• There was a ton of chatter in the room before the trays came out.
• About 30% of the women were not talking with anyone, though.
• There was noticeably less chatter in the room once the trays came out.  It wasn’t silence, but it was a loud hush.
• Three women hopped on the yummy appetizer right away and were very loud and funny about it.  Jokes were flying as they were eating.  They made at least 2 self conscious remarks but kept on eating.  They looked around the whole time without looking like they were looking around and 1 of them went back for a second one.
• An even bigger group of women, say about 8 or so, attacked the healthy appetizer.  They said nothing about it. They kept talking about whatever had their attention in the first place but never mentioned the food once.
• The majority of the women abstained from either choice…until…the “captivating women” chose what they wanted.  Then the other women in the room slowly made choices to eat.
• As soon as the trays came out, at least 70% of the room began to fidget with their clothing.  Pulling down skirts, flattening out their shirts on the bellies, buttoning jackets—if you could adjust it, then it was adjusted.
• At least half of the room suddenly learned how to scope a whole room out without moving their heads.  Their eyes developed some kind of Xray/360 degree vision where they could see through the back of their head to see who was eating what and how much.  It was eerie.  Felt like a bad M. Night Shyamalan movie.
• Those that ate more than one appetizer all had a remark.  Either about what they were wearing, how they were on a diet, how they hadn’t eaten all day.  Basically, qualifiers.
• Some stared at some women in pure, noticeable disdain for either their choice of appetizer or for the quantity they ate.
• A few women went around offering their friends an appetizer—the yummy one—while they themselves chose the healthy one afterwards.
• Those that were alone chose the yummy appetizer 2 to 1 to those who were engaged in conversation.
• By the end of the serving of the food, 80% of the room had one of each appetizer although it was varied as to who had which one first.  Thirteen percent had only the healthy appetizer with the other 7% having just the yummy appetizer.  No one could abstain from eating all night long.
• Over the course of the evening, at least 2 separate groups broke off and headed to the bathroom to talk about who chose what and why!!

On Friday I will finish this in my audio post.  I will tell you where I am going with this and why.  But just know:  food IS…  Do you recognize yourself in there anywhere or someone close to you?  I’d love to know below.  Back to the series tomorrow.  Woop woop!

My contribution to Jodiojo – the topics of beauty and style – is obviously very subjective. I totally get that. But with regard to the getting dressed how-to posts of the past several weeks, and prompted by the comment copied below, I wanted to say a few things.

First, all the advice and tips are based on the concept of creating, enhancing and bringing balance and symmetry to the body with clothing. In fact, it’s also what we strive to do for you through your training. A symmetrical, proportionate figure isn’t just my idea of beautiful, it’s actually yours too. “Humans have universal standards of beauty. It’s called the divine proportion or the golden ratio, which is based on pi (1.618), and it is found throughout nature, for instance leaves, seed arrangements and conch shells, as well as most of man’s greatest accomplishments, like the Pyramids, the Parthenon, the David, and the Mona Lisa. The omnipresence of the golden ration throughout the world creates a sense of balance, harmony and beauty in the designs we see every day. Pi is also the driving force in human attraction. Everyone prefers people whose face and body is symmetrical and follows this ratio.” We were all put together with a sense of beauty that’s based on symmetry, balance and proportion.

Second, I made the assumption that our readers already know my voice and that I am a do-it-your-way kind of person. For me, no matter what, what feels good on you is what is right for you. Period. I always strive to use language that is loving and gentle and give facts to support any advice. For example, for the topic of getting dressed – dark colors minimize, light colors enlarge, and so, if you have a very large chest AND WANT TO BRING BALANCE TO YOUR OVERALL LOOK, consider wearing dark solid colors (rather than bright prints) up top to draw the eye away from this area. However, for all I know, you may want to play up a large chest regardless of balance and symmetry, and in that case, do the opposite of what I said. I am utterly fine with that, and in fact, would not have it any other way.

I say all of this because someone commented on the post “Dressing Wide Hips and Thighs.” I’ve cut/pasted it below. Needless to say, he didn’t agree with my point of view. Read on.

I think women are being given wrong information by other women. if you want to look your best you must show of your best assets. And a womans hips are their most stunning assets for men. Do not hide your hips for crying out loud – “SHOW them”, flaunt them . Do not another hollywood product. Women are built designed to have large hips and that is exactly what attracts men to women. Its not large breats, its not your personality, its not your intelligence, its not your butt, it is how hide your hips are. Everything else are just pluses. Take a look at these beautiful women with wide hips
http://akorra.com/2010/10/01/amazing-women-with-wide-hips/

I love the part about how it’s not your breasts, butt, personality and especially not intelligence that attracts men to you. Well, duh. That’s a joke of course, but really, I’m all for a different opinion and actually appreciate the insight into men. (wink.)

Let me wrap this up.

Just to be clear, I would NEVER suggest that anyone, especially our readers, hide anything about their bodies or themselves. We are all worth so much more than what we look like. I personally have spent years working to get that notion through my thick skull. But it is fun to feel good about your appearance. So, please, always, always, do what feels right for you. Be you, love you, and rock your very best self all the time. It’s what I try to do and when it comes together just right, big hair and glitter nail polish, it’s awesome!

Sources:
You Being Beautiful by Michael F Roizen, MD and Mehmet C Oz, MD

The next few posts will be short and sweet as the series on getting dressed and looking great wraps up. Today let’s talk about thick calves and ankles.

The idea with large calves and ankles is to elongate. Attempt this by keeping the lower legs open as possible by wearing skirts (and pants too) that stop above the calf. Hems that stop right at the knee are flattering on everyone. Pants such as capri and cropped styles that stop mid-calf aren’t the best choice. Wide leg and flare pants, boot cut and trouser-style jeans, and long flowy skirts (if you’re tall enough to not get swallowed up in a long skirt) are much better.

In a skirt, keep the lower leg a monotone color to keep things nice and long. For instance, black tights and shoes with a black skirt, bare legs with a shoe that matches your skin tone.

Like with wide hips or a big bum, draw the eye up and away with a beautiful top, pretty jewelry, scarves, glasses, healthy shiny hair, and your gorgeous face.

Simple shoe styles will be most flattering. Consider wearing a heel when you are dressing up or what you’re doing allows it. Try D’Orsay, sling backs (make sure the strap will stay on the back of your heel though-I’ve yet to find a pair that will), a slim wedge, peep-toe, and stacked heels are terrific for heavy calves and ankles. Avoid ankle straps on shoes as they visually cut the leg off, don’t elongate and make the ankle look heavy. Look for shoes that aren’t too dainty or with too skinny of a heel, but at the same time be careful with a heel that is too chunky or heavy. Shoe boots can and will cut the leg off much like an ankle strap. Also be aware that very pointy toes and very square toes both shorten and broaden your foot, so a moderate toe shape is best.

And I have to add; a pedicure will make your feet more beautiful, no matter what shoe you put them in.

Got any tips to add? Share in the comments below!

Todays post in the little series on how to dress your body its best deals with back fat and muffin tops. Neither of these terms needs further definition, but I will say that muffin top is a relatively new phrase. I remember when there wasn’t any such thing as a muffin top because pants and jeans came up to your real waistline and covered this part of a body up. Granted, the very high rise wasn’t the best look but at least it didn’t create a new issue. Geez.

Ok, below are a few strategies for dressing muffins:

Shape wear:
Indispensable for smoothing out any little bulges. Always choose high waisted garments that provide coverage from the bra band down.

Jeans:
Choose a comfortable fitting medium rise (9” or so). I like a medium rise because they are available all over the place now in lots of styles (skinny, boot cut, straight, trouser, etc.), are easy because shirts will stay tucked in, and as a grown up, they are more appropriate as opposed to something super low.

Tops:
Long tops in A-shape and empire waists are flattering on muffin tops. Look for pieces that drape and/or ruche too. Basically, tops need to be long enough to cover the body. Consider layering any iffy-length shirts over a matching tank top. This is a favorite trick of mine and has saved me from pitching many short-ish cardigans and shirts as well as shirts whose neckline plunges just a little too low.

Back bulges:

You know, this is a weird phenomenon. I mean, what’s the deal? I see bulges and lines around bra on even the slimmest backs?

Bra:
No matter what, we all need a bra that fits. “Most of a bras support comes from the band being snug around the body and level side to side.” If a bra is too large, the band will ride up in back and the straps will need to be tightened way up to get hoist in front, which also causes the band to ride up in back. But, for me anyway, a bra that fits according to this criteria and sits properly low around the back, digs into the flesh on my rib cage, which isn’t nice and smooth from the rear view. I guess it’s not as bad as panty lines, but still. I don’t have a good answer to this.

Shape wear:
A camisole with a bra is awesome for providing a nice smooth silhouette front and back. I love mine, especially under a white t-shirt or sweater. Smaller sizes can get by with the built in shelf style bras while larger busts can wear the styles with a more real bra or just layer a bra-less tank or cami over your regular bra. These pieces are snug so they gently compress and smooth out bulges making them much less noticeable, plus they’re slippery so nothing clings.

Tops:
The main thing about selecting a top is that it isn’t too tight. It shouldn’t be too baggy either-there’s no need to hide your shape, ever. Look for tops that skim rather than cling. Draping, pleats, and tiers are great design details that camouflage back fat. It’s also easy to layer a vest, cardigan or jacket over a t-shirt or blouse and avoid the issue all together.

I know we all work too hard to have any of the body challenges we’ve talked about over the last few weeks, but maybe you know someone who does? Ha! Please share any of your own tricks in the comments.

Let’s keep talking about how to dress your figure well. Today’s topic: hips and thighs. To the gals who have been described as pear shaped (anyone but me?), read on.

Pear shaped means the hips and thighs are wider than the shoulders and bust, so balance and proportion needs to be created between the top and bottom. This can be done with clothing by visually increasing the top half (with beautiful and colorful tops, pockets, shoulder details, jewelry, jackets, scarves, etc.) and visually minimizing the lower half (in flattering pants and skirts in dark colors and simple cuts) and by NOT drawing attention to the lower half with tight, flashy garments that don’t fit or flatter. More below …

Pants:
* Dark colors minimize. And since the idea is to minimize and draw the eye up from your lower half, choose pants in a dark solid color.

* Choose wide and straight leg styles that skim straight down from your hips. Avoid tapered styles and pants that are tight through the hips or thigh.

* Avoid pants that pull across the front at the zipper or hips. Choose flat front styles rather than pleats, which are best at creating a smooth, flattering tummy. And either wear side-pocket-less pants or have them sewn shut.

* Cargo styles with bulky patch pockets can add size to legs.

* A medium rise is great as it lengthens the torso and minimizes full hips.

Skirts:
* Again, go with dark colors. No prints.

* When you can, match the skirt, leg (tights, stocking) and shoe to create a long continuous line from waist to toe, elongating and slimming the lower half. If you go bare-legged, consider a nude colored shoe.

* Keep the volume way down; so that means nothing full or pouffy, which, while comfy, sadly add bulk. Choose slim a-line skirts, straight skirts, and pencil skirts that aren’t too tight.

* The most flattering hemlines for us are knee-length.

Dresses:
* Choose styles that have a defined waist that flow gently over the hips, like a wrap dress. Never wear a shift or column dress that obscures the waistline.

Tops and Jackets:
* Avoid shirts and sweaters that stop at the fullest width of hips, opting instead for hemlines that stop somewhere above or below them.

* Wear blouses tucked in or belted over the top. Again, don’t hide your waistline.

* Wear tops that are fitted and show off the top half of your body, thus minimizing the attention to the bottom half.

* Prints and bright colors are great for drawing the eye up.

* Coats and jackets that are long length and fitted at the waist are magic at balancing out a wide lower body. Large lapels, chest pockets and/or shoulder epaulets are great too.

Shoes:
* Choose a shoe with a little bit of heft, nothing too dainty and delicate. Even a half-inch platform adds weight to a strappy sandal or skinny-heeled style. Platforms are more comfortable and are super cute and available everywhere in lots of heel heights.

* In skirts, match your leg color (bare-leg, tights, stockings) to your shoe for a long continuous line.

The buzz continues to be about shapewear and I can see why. Panty lines and underwear waistbands that dig in can’t be comfortable and they just look bad. Oprah and hundreds of other celebrities, even the skinny ones, swear by them. Does anyone have thoughts or tips to share about shape wear? What brand and style do you like? Please share below!

I have a lot of experience with dressing a wide lower half and know these tips work. It just feels good being sure about what you’re wearing. Give these tips a try and let me know what you think.

Sources:

How to Never Look Fat Again, by Charla Krupp
What Not to Wear, by Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine
The Science of Sexy, by Bradley Bayou

You know how NHL goalies are always kind of in a crouch, waiting to block a shot or whatever?  There is a goal camera mounted a mere 10 inches behind him that inevitably broadcasts his bent over rear end larger than life onto the big screen in the family room, and yes, those pants do make his butt look big!  (haha!)

I’m starting out with how to dress an ample behind, because, well, I have one.  My husband, with a big smile, said recently, “Your butt, it’s higher and smaller these days, like it was when you were competing.”  I think there’s a compliment in there somewhere.

In a world where it seems that all clothing is made for Gisele when she was 15, it’s been my experience that clothing your bootie (or what ever other body part you wrestle with) and the whole package looking right is not easy.  My butt isn’t perfect, but the husband was right – it is high(er) and round (thanks Jodi for setting my glutes on fire every time I enter the gym) and I am not interested in hiding it, but rather dressing it so I look my best.  Anyone but me?  Feel free to embrace or reject any of the following thoughts and advice:

Pants:

*            Straight cut or wide leg trousers are flattering because they fall straight down from your hips.

*            Pants with narrow bottoms, like capris, tapered styles and harem pants accentuate the bum.

*            Flat front styles minimize; pleats and side pockets add bulk (I sew side pockets shut-better to loose the convenience of a pocket to get rid of the flaring out that side pockets always do anyway)

*            Prints and light colors will draw attention and visually add size.  Dark solids minimize.

*            Wear pants in fabrics that have some weight; nothing flimsy or clingy.  Try cotton, denim, lycra blends (like good workout/yoga pants), and wool.  Look for fabrics with a little stretch for comfort and shape.

Jeans:

*            Plain back pockets will not draw attention to your bum.  Contrast stitching, big buttons, buckles, gathers, pleats, rhinestones, big logos, bleaching, etc. will.

*            Patch pockets add bulk; slit pockets, like on a khaki, do not.

*            To make the rear end look smaller, choose jeans with patch pockets that are large, placed high on the butt and spaced close together.

*            The higher the waist, the more attention is drawn to the butt.  Unless you are long and slender-waisted too, choose a mid or low rise style.

*            High waisted jeans can also flatten out your butt.  Proceed with caution.

*            Try the jeans that are specifically made for curvy girls.  These have a lower rise in the front and a higher rise in back that eliminate gaping at the waistband in the back.

*            Dark colored boot-cut styles are great on bootie girls.

*            A v-shaped yoke (the fabric that runs between the waistband and pockets) is more flattering to a large bum than a straight across yoke.

*            Choose a denim with stretch to avoid sagging at the butt and knees.

*            Finishes, washes and distressing (rips, abrasions, whiskering, etc.) while cool (I love that stuff) are distracting and break up the line of the leg, making them appear shorter.  Wear a heel with these styles.

*            Boyfriend jeans are weirdly shaped; the crotch hangs low in the front making legs look shorter, they’re rolled up making legs look shorter, the waist is too big for a belt to lie flat and un-bunchy, and they’re so roomy that your lower body all but disappears.  Hmmm.

Skirts and Dresses:

*            A-lines can be flattering but make sure the flare is not too wide and keep the hem right at the knee to avoid frumpy.

*            Try straight and pencil styles.  Ensure that they aren’t too tight in the bum and don’t pull across your hips in front.  These can be amazingly sexy on a curvy figure!

*            Beware skirt styles that add bulk:  long maxis, full, pleated, drop waist, peasant/dirndl, and pouffy tutu.

*            Beware styles that are tiny:  mini skirts of all varieties.

*            Wrap dresses accentate a fuller figure in a very good way.

*            Try a dress in soft matte jersey, which will skim curves just right.

*            Slinky, swishy fabrics cut on the bias move a lot, drawing the eye directly to whatever is underneath.

Tops:

*            Choose tops that accentuate the positive going on above the waist – shoulders, great rack, slim belly or waspy waist.

*            Jackets, sweaters, coats, etc. that flow over or stop right below your butt are great over your bootie.  Don’t hide your waist in the process; choose pieces with a tailored or nipped in waist to show off your hourglass bod.

*            Waist and hip length jackets draw attention to and will show off your rear end.

Undies:

*            NO PANTY LINES!  Eliminate these by wearing a thong (I swear by Commando and Hanky Panky) or cheeky styles which are cut higher in the back and front than boy shorts or tap pants.  Always go seamless.

*            Shapewear – I died when I read this advice:  Like a bra, make sure the garment keeps your cheeks separated.  How great is that?  Love it!

Etc.:

*            Belt sweaters or long shapeless tops with a slender belt at the waist.  Pass on wide hip belts.

*            Wear a heel with a little bit of weight with skirts, nothing flimsy so that you teeter around but not too hefty and clunky.

*            Have pants and jeans that are too long hemmed; avoid cuffing them as they add weight to the bottom of your leg not in a good way

Hope some of these work for you.

Sources:

What Not to Wear by Trinny Woodall & Susannah Constantine

What Not to Wear For Every Occasion by Trinny Woodall & Susannah Constantine

How to Never Look Fat Again by Charla Krupp

The Science of Sexy by Bradley Bayou