March 19th, 2012
by Jodi · Filed Under: Ponderings
Women are natural sadists—well, while dieting at least, because I swear we diet just to beat the living tar out of ourselves. Although, most of us will tell you we diet for a specific reason: vacation, wedding, event and so on. Our girl is no different. She was going on vacation.
It looked so peaceful. Too bad it had 14 pounds lurking in the tide.
After 12 weeks of dieting, endless hours of cardio and more poundage moved in the gym than on a shipping dock, our girl is looking darn good (if I don’t say so myself) and traveling through the airport with confidence and ease. She made goal and she is pretty darn pleased with her results. She couldn’t wait for this day and has been having dreams of drinks on the beach with all inclusive meals and treats while lying pool side in Aruba. This has been what all the suffering was about and she cannot wait until she is on the beach in her new bathing suit feeling comfortable in it for the first time ever.
I don’t know if any fitness professional has ever told you this so I am going on record saying it now: do not ever diet into a vacation. Do not do a 12 week countdown into drinking, merriment and revelry. The only thing worse than dieting into vacation is going into an all you can eat buffet with someone getting off a 40 day fast. Don’t do it. Not to mention metabolism-wise, it is the biggest mistake ever. Lots of damage done with this one.
The resort is gorgeous and the weather is surreal. She thinks this is going to be the most amazing week she’s had in a long time. Her journal entries are as follows:
Day 1: I am exhausted. Had to beat the front desk down because they messed up my room but when they saw the look on my face that said, “I’m about to blow a gasket.” They suddenly found a solution. I need a drink but I want to be good. I told myself that I was only going to have a treat a few times this week and I really want to save it more for the end of the week. I want chocolate bad but I am waiting for the midnight chocolate buffet on Wednesday night before having any. Time to check the menu for healthy options.
As newbies we all start out with good intentions. But then it soon goes to hell in a hand basket.
Here is where we begin to fail: unrealistic expectations of ourselves. First, vacation is meant to have fun–not spend a week dieting in a different country. This isn’t her lifestyle, yet. She is working on making it so, but it’s still so fresh in her system that to expect her to go into an eating and drinking smorgasbord and not lose her mind borders on being irresponsible. Second, she forgot to factor in the fact that she will have no will after the first drink. At that point, all bets are off.
Day 2: Who knew that I was gonna be that much of a lightweight now? Hope no one got a picture of me dancing topless on the fondue bar. I am so bloated and feel like crap. I swear I just killed all the work I did to get here in one night. I could not stop eating the bread they brought to the table. Ugh!
At some point in our dieting we all end up being humbled by the Carb Demon. This guy is no joke when he shows up. Whatever control you may have thought you had, goes right out the window whenever he makes an appearance. Some of us have been known to defy physics with some of the things we can eat on a “bender”, our girl was lucky enough to stop at 2 bread baskets and 3 martinis.
Nothing on here said anything about it causing grown women to eat entire back rooms of restaurants. They should have warning labels.
Day 6: Obviously I blew this week on Sunday so the rest of the week has been a wash. I’m glad I was smart enough to pack another bathing suit just in case. The only thing I can fit in right now is a moo-moo. I don’t know why I can’t stop eating like this. I will never get my act together. I knew it was too good to be true. I’m meant to be heavy for the rest of my life. Those chics in the magazine are just gifted. Why bother.
I get it when we feel like this because at the time we are so low emotionally that it is sad to even think about sometimes. But this has to be the ultimate in inaccurate statements. The girls are not gifted and you can stop eating like that. What we didn’t know before we began to diet was what our bodies were going to go through at the pinnacle of our dieting: low estrogen levels, high cortisol levels and a mind ready for a fresh game of “highs and lows”. Alcohol after dieting is a no-no. Carbs after dieting without being interrupted by fat first is a no-no, as well.
Plane ride home: I can’t let anyone see me. I am so embarrassed. All that hard work out the window and for what? A bunch of drinks? I can’t wait to get back and just clean up the diet and feel good again. I just want to ring myself out dry and empty my stomach of everything. Oh man I feel like death.
Little does our girl know that this is just the beginning of her drama. Just having her girlfriend pick her up at the airport put her in a frenzy because she didn’t want to have to explain why she looks so different. The emotion brought on from a sense of failure and the difficulty she is about to have thinking she can just “lose that weight again” may be more than she bargained for…
Tomorrow I walk you through all the ways she could have failed forward on her vacation and saved the amount of damage that was done in this one week. Once this whole vacation week and the following week are all said and done, our girl will have gained 14 pounds in 2 weeks. Much to talk about…