I go to the gym Monday through Friday right after I drop my kids off at school.  (For those of you who are wondering, I finally started coming to a stop for my kids to get out of the car.  No more pushing them out as I drive by.   It’s been working well for us.  Thanks for your concern.;)  It’s a basic gym, nothing extraordinary about it and I go at that odd time of the morning where it’s the end of the early morning rush but before the mommy time starts so it’s never crowded.  Every day that I am at the gym there is a woman on the Arc Trainer—her special Arc Trainer—covered in about 2 gallons of sweat and I used to always think, ‘Work it girl!’ when I saw her doing cardio.  Then one day I got on next to her and she was covered in sweat while the display of her machine said 7 minutes.  I immediately thought, “Holy crap.  What setting could you possibly have that on if you are that sweaty after 7 minutes?!  I need to get a hook up from sister-girl on how to juice the Arc Trainer for everything it has.”  Then I got on again about a week or two later when her display read about 50 min or so (I know I wrote about this before on some post but I can’t find it right now) and while I was doing my cardio it looped at 60 min and started counting from 1 again.  What the…?  What is THAT about?  Who in this day and age has that much time to do that much cardio all week long?  Holy ticking time, Batman!

So today I just happen to be there before she was and she came in and put her stuff on the machine before going to the lockers to put her stuff away.  What she used to “hold her spot” was 7 pieces of gum neatly lined up on the machine—meanwhile she was chewing away on some already before setting up shop.  Holy intestinal fortitude!  I got the runs just knowing she was going to chew all that in that short of time.  Well short time for 7 pieces of gum, long time for useless cardio.  Thankfully I was done 5 minutes after she came back so I had enough time to stock up on Cank-Aid and warm salty water.  This brings me to some more of the basics…

I am going to start running, I need to lose some weight.

Good luck with that.  Using running to lose weight is like using a spoon to empty bathwater out of your tub; you will eventually get it done.  If you insist on running as a form of weight loss, do it the right way by incorporating speed drills and sprints into your runs and you’ll really achieve what you’re hoping for.

Can I do the weight lifting class at my gym instead of lifting?  It’s so boring and I hate it.

You mean the class that does more reps in one hour than I would ever do in one week?  I would say no simply because you cannot lift heavy enough.  And I can’t say this enough:  group fitness has its place in life but not as a primary if your desire is to look good naked.

What do you think about…{insert diet concept/book/workout technique/DVD/latest fad here}?

Who cares?  You know you don’t.  I could tell you that it causes a new arm to grow out of your neck and if you are hell bent on it enough, you’ll bring an extra sleeve for your shirt just in case.  Seriously.  And honestly, if it is going to energize you, challenge you, inspire you and so on and it is safe, I say go for it.  I hope that most of us have been around long enough to know that change matters more than the actual diet or workout itself.  Not to mention, are you new to dieting or not?  If you are new, you’ll lose weight running to the shower in the morning.  If you’re a veteran, you could scale Mount Kilimanjaro eating only a bean and a half of pear and maybe, just maybe, you’ll lose a half pound by the end of the week.

I started doing bootcamp 5 days a week.  Is that ok?

Only if they mix it up.  If you are doing 5 days of jumping/plyometrics, that is not ok.  And if it is really a glorified run club, see #1.

It is cool to see people in their “stages of readiness”.   When we first start out we just want to lose some weight.  But then we lose a few pounds and realize we look the same as before, just smaller.  Then we go to a beach and put on a bathing suit and realize we’re so crinkly that we look like we wrapped ourselves in cellophane before we left the house.  That sets us on a mission to be smaller and tighter.  The rest is history but it’s wild to watch it go down in slow motion.  This wraps up all the questions asked to me in April.  May is proving to be a slow month which is nice because I need to regenerate in my hole office after all that.  Woop woop!

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 For Butters Or For Worse [10:57m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

I am a nudge.  I won’t deny it.  Many of you who know me are thinking the same thing right now.  Actually, you’re thinking:  “I love you, girl, but you annoy me.  You always say the thing I want to hear least that day (always said with pure love).”  That I do.  So why should today be any different?  I figure, as long as I am fulfilling your need (i.e. supplying you with butt changing info), then it’s okay for me to fulfill my needs (i.e. get you to see how destructive chasing a body part can be).

I always say I love what I do but today I want to be more specific:  I love you.  No, seriously, I do.  I love you tremendously—even if I have never met you.  Why?  Because you are just like me and I love that.  Whatever you do now, I’ve done before and probably twenty times more than whatever you are doing now.  I love to talk to you.  I love to know what makes you tick. I love to hear about all of your successes.  And I love to see you happy.  NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING (in the context of my line of work) makes me more happy than to call a woman who is having a “ah-hah” moment.  It’s like music to my ears.  You can hear my smile over the phone.  It’s crazy.

But now think of the flip side of that.  When you’re unhappy, I’m concerned.  My heart aches because I remember what it was like to be in a not-so-good place and how isolating it can feel.  It’s not like we want to talk about it because we feel like people will think we’re crazy, whiny or the worst of them all—weak.  We don’t want to admit we have some faults or somehow can’t get it together so we just “keep on keepin’ on” hoping that no one notices we just ate an entire package of double stuff oreos in two days.  We’ll quickly regroup from that only to be the most rigid dieter this side of the buffet display and after a while it all gets so annoying doesn’t it?  Somewhere in all that lunacy, we find balance and we settle into a body that is good…decent…not bad–however you want to describe it, please do so.  It’s not like we’re super disgusted, it’s more like we’re just not satisfied.  This is where body part obsession takes root and becomes a bit alarming.

Our bodies can be nice to look at so it’s great to keep them well oiled and maintained but their primary purpose is to function for us not appear as trophies.  We have bums for a reason and it’s not to serve as a beacon of failure for our diets or our lives.  They are meant to hinge us at the hips, move us from side to side and help us get the heck out of Dodge when necessary.  They have a primary function in the body; not a secondary function like our tummies (yes, tummies are our core, but ideally our abs and back serve as our core/trunk and nutrition makes a great tummy—not crunches).   This is a huge thing to think about, seriously, because as you pound away at your booty you may be setting yourself up for some major surgery later on.

Although I love writing, I stress when I set out to write articles like this because on the screen they can read as preachy or judgmental.  I can tell you without a doubt that nothing like that is going through my head right now.  What’s running through my mind is what I was like when I wanted nicer shoulders and the only word that I can think of is “fixated”.  It was my main focus and I cared about nothing else besides my shoulders.   Fortunately, I was interrupted from destroying my neck/shoulder region (or unfortunately if you know why I was interrupted) because I really do think that if I continued on I would have had two grapefruits sitting at the top of my arms like a dot on an i.  Of course, reaching over my head or putting a shirt on wouldn’t be possible but dang it all, I’d’ve looked good! (I made that double contraction up. Work with it.

Function matters.  A lot.  I know we do not all have access to the top physical therapists out there (or have the awesome Heather on their staff) but it is worth it if you can at least once in your fitness career be evaluated for your weaknesses.  If you have tight hip flexors and weak glutes to begin with, when you go to do any of the exercises mentioned you run a high risk of not engaging your glutes properly thereby killing your progress.  You think that you aren’t doing enough so you keep doing more of the same and your weaknesses snowball from there.  If you train for function more than you train for form, you will be much better off.   The catch here is twofold:  1) to get over yourself enough to embrace a new way to train other than strict body part training and 2) to take the time off from hard training to do any necessary mobility work if need be.  How many of us really do anything preventative?

I know what you’re thinking.  “Then teach me to do it the right way, Jodi.  What am I missing?”  I can’t, it’s not my gig, but I know whose it is and I will give you that info at the end of this series.  I have a little more to talk about and I don’t want you to lose your focus by focusing on your bum which is the focus of this series.  You need to focus!  We haven’t even touched dieting, yet, and how you diet does make a difference in what your bum looks like.

Where does this leave you then?  What’s my point in drawing your attention to function and not form?  Balance.  Make sure that your program has balance.  Spread out the butt stuff throughout the week or do a good butt workout once, maybe twice in a week.  But do not go crazy and make every day a butt day by putting in something in every workout.  That’s not good.   Here are some guidelines for you:

1)      Limit the plyometric activity to no more than twice a week. This means sprints as well as pure plyos.  The pounding action of sprints and plyos take a toll on your spine and your feet.  Ease up, killah, before you look like your Aunt Ethel who is all of 4ft 3in by the time you’re done jumping.

2)      Have someone take a look at your program for obvious imbalances. You want to cover all planes of motion in a full body and have something with lateral movement if just a lower body.  Whether you do this in the warm up or in the program itself it doesn’t matter.  Just make sure your workout is not one big variation of the step up.

3)      Pay attention to injuries! So many times I talk to girls and they are working through some major junk like it’s nothing talking about, “I just need to look good for my…”  Listen, if you show up walking like Quasimodo, was it worth it to you?  Knock it off and see a physical therapist!

Nutrition is next.  Some radical supplementation talk for you butter butts and a few other things.  Hang tight.  Woop woop! )

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As we venture into the land of glutes, we need to address the fact that as women we do not all want the same thing from our butt training.  Some of us want bubble butts—firm and poking out.  Some of us want a nice bum minus the layer of cellulite on them—a.k.a. butter butt (nice ‘n smooth).  And then some of us want nice legs and are not sure whether or not to get psycho about the bubble part or not—befuddled butt.  To lump everyone into the same category is to do a disservice to you ladies so let’s chop today’s post up into a few sections to help everyone out.

Bubble Butt

Normally you are: lean already with either a flat bum, fused spine bum or misshapen bum

Very rarely you are: heavy.  I have yet to meet a girl with a large lower body who’s looking to bubble it out more.

Nutrition: clean.  You are lean so your regimen is most likely good.

Supplementation: normal

Your arsenal:

Bridging—weighted or unweighted.  Single leg or both legs.  Feet on floor or high on bench.  Squeeze at the top.

High step ups—the higher you can step, the better.  Form is a must.

Conventional deadlift—single or double leg.  Go deeeeeeeeep.

Hill sprints—also start block training is awesome.

Deep reverse lunges—step off of a plyo box if you can do it.  Go super deep here.

You do best with: double leg work if you do not have a bum at all; single leg work if you have one but no shape.

Butter Butt

Normally you are: soft.  You are about as muscular as a pillow.  You MUST make muscle first.

Very rarely you are: muscular.  I have seen muscular tops and soft bottoms (I mean squishy) but it is rare.

Nutrition: clean as a whistle.  Very little room for things like cheese or processed food.

Supplementation: necessary and high dose.

Your arsenal:

Metabolic cranks—lunges, plyos and band walks thrown together to make you sweat and lean out more.

Kettlebells—complete posterior workout all the time.  No break for the butt and you sweat like a mo.

Deep squats/deads—You need to lift like a man for a while.  Break some PR’s and kill yourself.

Lunges—Heavy.  Not so deep yet because you need to be heavy first.

You do best with: Heavy training with minimal rest that’s going to make you sweat and puke.

Befuddled Butt

Normally you are: fit but not defined.  You look good but no one’s stopping you to do a leg commercial.

Very rarely you are: heavy on the top.  It happens sometimes where legs are good, not defined but top is squishy.

Nutrition: moderately clean.  You are more training dependent than food dependent.

Supplementation: precise.  You don’t need much so what you do need should be precise.

Your arsenal:

Single leg everything—don’t care what it is, do it with one leg.

Sprinting—More on the 200’s and 400’s than the 100’s.  Get the hams involved long term.

Detail work—calf raises, bridging, glute ham raise.

Band walks and donkey kicks

You do best with: progressions.  Obviously we all do but you more than anyone because your training is going to evolve faster as you shape up and decide bubble or not.

Regardless of which butt you prefer, all physique training can (and does) produce unsightly side effects that tend to stain any of the work you do in the gym.  Some training does it more than others.  I find that when we train for a cause we tend to be more aware of the world around us.  When we train for a sport, we tend to be more competitive with ourselves and with others (not always a good thing but not always bad either).  When we train for our bodies, though, we tend to be more myopic and critical.  It is this one that I want us to be more mindful of because trying to perfect a body part requires a lot of “me time” and that can sometimes be bad.  Spending hours on our bodies can skew our mindset, our outlook on life and our sense of purpose.

Without us trying or even meaning to, if we are not ‘on it like hornets’, we can become pompous, mean hotties.  Trust me, it does not take much.  Yes, we’ll help a person out on Facebook or in the gym whenever they may have a question, but ultimately we want to be left alone to look at ourselves in the mirror.  Now, really…that sounds terrible and shallow and it doesn’t really go down that way—or does it?  This is a tough one to address and I am throwing this out there to think about but what do you want that nice butt for?  You know I ask this because I want you to think about what’s really going to happen when you get it, not what you want to happen when you get it.  We want to like what we see in the mirror and we want to be commended for our hard work in the gym (maybe not by a random person, but definitely by those close to us), but we don’t want unsolicited comments, judgment and creepy fans.  Nor do we want tension and strife from our friends and family who now think that we spend too much time on ourselves on a daily basis.  However, I guarantee you that you will get this.

If you are not actively changing the inside of you (i.e. patience, understanding and compassion) to match the outside of you while you do this, your butt is not the only thing that’s going to end up hard.  How many of us have met someone with a great body at a show, gym or event and complimented them and they were meaner than a junk yard dog.  Guess what.  She got the surprise behind door #2 and obviously wasn’t ready character-wise to receive it.  Usually when we say we want our {fill in the body part} to look good, we want the whole package (personality) to look good, as well, and somehow expect us to miraculously be different when our new bodies show up.  Umm…not so in reality.  We think we will suddenly be happier because now we look different but it’s not the case.  If you are unhappy while flabby, you will be unhappy while fit—I can stake my occupation on it.  So while you spend all the time you are going to spend squatting, lunging and stepping, take that time to do a self assessment and see if you need to become patient, kind hearted or available to others.  Honestly, you are doing it more for you than anyone else.  It’s a hard road to walk being hot.

Lots more to come…woop woop!!

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Before we try to master the back side and create a lump that hangs off of the end of our spine, I think it prudent for us to go through some basic training to make sure we are all on the same page:

Squat, Deadlift, Lunge, Step Up

If you want to use any of these guys to make a better butt, you have to go low, the move must be deep and you have to go heavy.  These guys prime you in your workout for other glute exercises so they need to be there.  Over the next few days we’re going to go through a couple of different movements to understand what makes a great butt and these four guys are a great place to start.

That’s Kas doing a deadlift from the floor.  First, she’s going light b/c this is a pic for something else.  Second, she is on the way up in the move, she starts almost with bum to floor and third, she has great legs.  You must go low to hit the glutes in these moves.  If not, your quads will be the ones to benefit.

Normally we like to find a step that’s about 18″ high for step ups, but if you are going for the bum, you gotta go high.  Here is a great place to start.  The advanced level of this move would have your box about 2″ higher than this.  You need to go deep to hit the tush.

This is a lunge leaning forward.  Kas is at the top of the move.  The most important part for you to see is that she is fully aligned while leaning forward.  The only thing that moves on her is her legs.  Her back knee will drop but those weights will stay right there–in line with the front leg.  This will smoke your butt off.  Your range of motion is small but your burn is big.

1)      Learn the movement unweighted. I know you have been squatting for years, but if you can do it, have someone analyze your form for you without holding a weight.  You’d be amazed at how you thought you had perfect form for all these years but you really didn’t.  The thing I see the most is “toe lifters”.  All of your weight sits in your toes and you do not sit back enough in the move.

2)      Deadlifts come from the floor. This means your bum does too.  I love the magazines with the workouts with the cool moves, but really—close the magazine.  Grab a heavier than normal BB.  Put it on the floor.  And deadlift it for real.  Drop your butt, keep your chest up, sit your weight back and go for it.  Now this, of course, is after you have done #1.  Please.  If not, your knees could cave in, your chest could fly forward and this could get ugly.

3)      Your knees could possibly hurt. What fixes knee pain is strong legs.  What makes strong legs will cause knee pain in the beginning.  If you have asked someone who is a professional and who you trust if you are doing #1 right and they say yes, hang in there then until you get stronger.

4)      Start with two legs first. Before you try to go heavy or fancy, master #1 first and then master heavy.  Once you have mastered heavy, then master fancy.  Do NOT go from basic to fancy without going heavy first.  What’s fancy?  That “crazy new move” you saw so-and-so doing at the gym that you have no idea what it’s for or why they’re doing it.   Or the favorite move of your favorite fitness model that looks so cool but you are not qualified to watch it, much less do it.  Fancy is useless without the basics and even more useless if you’re not going heavy.

5)      Do every variation possible under the sun. Just like I say with food, cardio and cheat meals:  MIX IT UP.  I know you love a particular exercise because it burns like a mother when you do it, but you have got to hit your butt from every flipping angle there is.  Now these guys are the base exercises, we have a few more types to go through before we’re done, but there are so many variations of these that it’s not funny.  The walking lunge is not the only exercise out there.

Food, food and more food…

1)      The number one thing necessary in your diet for a great butt:  consistency. Not perfection—consistency.   You need to consistently get in the right food so that it may do its work in the back.  This is what I said on Yin and Yang.  This is what I have been saying forever.  Stop beating yourself up over what you ate extra in the day and instead congratulate yourself for all the right things you got in.  TRUST ME…this will pay off more than you’ll ever know.

2)      Do not go starchless forever. Biggest mistake a girl could ever make.  I know many who do it.  You are shooting yourself in the foot.

3)      Learn to supplement when necessary. When we first start out, we buy every supplement under the sun.  About 3 weeks later we’ve remembered to take them once.  If you have a ton of cellulite and unsightly dimpling, you will need to supplement.  We’ll talk about that in an upcoming post, but until then, know that you’ll have to be intentional about this at some point but not forever—nothing is forever (see #2).

Take Stock In What You Have

Owning up to what you really have as an asset is a basic necessity of any physique athlete.  What I see are two things all the time and both of them are ugly:

False humility: This is the girl with the hot body who insists she doesn’t have one.  She’s on every fitness site looking for the thing that’s going to create a hot body when she’s sitting on a gold mine.  I get it, we can all improve but that’s not what this is.  She’ll beat off your compliments with a baseball bat and slice up all attempts to tell her she’s arrived with a machete but it’s not because she’s modest.  Quite the contrary.  But she can’t admit that to herself, let alone you so instead she mows everyone over in an attempt to keep the compliments coming.

Utter shame: This is the girl who may have great legs or nice abs or a great shape but may not be in the best shape ever.  So she could stand to lose a few pounds but she’s not a “fixer upper” or anything.  There’s clearly a great body under there and it won’t take much to do so.  But you don’t have a chance to say that to her because she’s too busy beating herself down like a bad viral YouTube video.  She’s disparaged herself more times in one conversation to you than anybody in her life has ever said about her.  And she’s just getting warmed up!  Listening to it can truly bring you down so you need to exit the conversation.  It’s awful.

We are going on to the next phase of building a great bum tomorrow.  We have 3 more days of this and lots more info.  We haven’t even really started, yet.  But before we can get into that super info and really explore our pin cushions, we need to appreciate what we have first.  If we do not do that, then all of our training is a waste because we will never think that we have arrived.

1)      I don’t care what you thought of yourself before this, but today, stand in front of the mirror naked and like what you see. Write out what you like—and only what you like—about your body right now.  If you want, you can wear underwear—but that’s it.  You are not allowed to have a negative thought about your body.  If you do, you have to start all over again.

2)      Figure out whether you are an utter shame girl or a false humility girl. You do not have to be either of them.  I only point them out because they are the hardest to change.  Anything else is teachable so don’t worry.

3)      Figure out why you want this. I’m telling you now, if you want this just to look hot you’re wasting your time.  You won’t make it.  But if you stick an admirable goal on it, you’ll have a better chance.

Ok…much, much more to come.  So many exercises, so little time.  Woop woop!!

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“Smack it up, flip it, rub it down…oh no!”

Arguably one of the most famous butts out there.  Also a good example of a stepping stool, dinner tray or counter top.  Your choice.

No body part is talked about more on a daily basis, by women, than a woman’s butt.   You could argue abs but really, young girls care about abs.  If you are under 23 years of age, you want great abs.  By the time you graduate college, though, you realize that gravity is a force to be reckoned with and you begin to think long term by asking the most fundamental question that every woman wants to know:  “Where in Heaven’s name is my bum going?  Last time I checked, it was midway down my back but I just looked and it’s not there anymore…”   Not to mention, the older you get the less likely you are to show your abs in public.  Gym?—sure.  Public?—not so much.  You can hide unsightly stretch marks, loose skin and a layer of chub under a good shirt but there is no hiding the fact that your butt ends somewhere around your knees and it’s not coming back up any time soon.

I want to chat about our back sides.  In all ways…  So yes, I will be going over my favorite exercises for the butt and what’s really good for them.  I will NOT be telling you what the best one is because it really depends on your alignment and your weaknesses.  You can really mess yourself up by killing one particular exercise to the point of lunacy because you think it will make a better butt when it’s not doing anything because your alignment is horrible.  And your alignment is horrible because some portion of your glutes are shut off due to weakness, injury or so on.  Therefore we will be avoiding “the best” kind of language and be talking more along the lines of “this is a good one” and “ooo, I really like this one, too”.

“Cindy” discovered there’s a dark side to the hack squat.

But you know me by now and you realize that everything comes with a twist.  You can find “the best butt” exercises anywhere and there are plenty of trainers out there much better than myself that are currently doing those types of posts so this begs the question, “What are you really after, Jodi?”  Let me answer that by saying…our back sides.  That side  of us that we don’t necessarily want to talk about or even acknowledge is there.  It comes out when we talk about body parts or taking ourselves to the next level or fierceness in the gym.  We have a secret side to us that’s not always comely, although she’s typically stifled when we have our wits about us, she can pop out at any time and wreak havoc in our lives.  Let’s visit her this week, eh?

Expect some exercises, some programming and some things to think about when it comes to how you view yourself and portray yourself on a daily basis.  I’m looking forward to exploring this with you.  You know how I roll…if you have anything in particular that you want to know, hit me up below or email me.  Cool?  Woop woop!

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I am losing my mind today.  Actually, this started sometime over the weekend and it’s spilling into Monday.  I loathe when I am like this and it is not very often, but still.  Right now, I have ants in my pants and I need to dance.  Yes, I know. You’re saying, “What the heck are you talking about?”  Only, you know what I’m talking about.  We all go through it at some time.

I have no idea what I am doing with myself.  I don’t mean career-wise—although that’s debatable—and I don’t mean with my family either seeing as they traded me in for a newer and better model.  I mean with myself workout-wise.  I’m in that dreaded place and you’ll know what I’m talking about in a minute when I describe it.  But I saw this coming slowly (as in the The Matrix kind of speed) and could do nothing about it.  And now it’s here.

I have ZERO focus.

This is not the same as “having nothing”.  This is better than that but not as good as “I’ve got sumthin”.  I have no desire to do what I am doing for workouts but I do want to workout.  And I have no desire to start something that requires a commitment, because that’s not where my head space is, so I’m not looking for the “newest and greatest” thing out right now.  This purgatory is the same as that annoying state that we enter when we want to go out to dinner with someone and for an hour or two you play the, “no really, wherever you want to go” game.  UGH!

I woke up and felt a blanket of “blah” come over me like an ugly quilt on a patterned couch.  It was terrible.  And stuff like this stinks.  In some form or another it sticks with you all day like an old mildew smell.  All day today I’ve been off my rhythm.  It’s like I’m 15 minutes late for everything even though I’m not.  If I’m not smart about this and begin to get this in check, I could start pulling out old stuff like a Billy Blanks Tae Boe original VHS tape and try and drum up some hoopla in my living room.  There’s nothing like sweating to some bad 70’s porn music playing in the background while watching some chiseled abs do what I can’t right now.  I’m seriously getting desperate today.  I don’t want this to hang around too long.

I get up at 4:00am every morning and the thing I love the most is that it is dead quiet in the house.  Typically at this time my focus is razor sharp as long as I stay awake at my desk. This morning, however, I was like a super ball let loose in a bingo ball machine.  I was all over the place.  It was like workout ADD.  Please say I am not the only one who has ever gone through this:  you know, you have 2 kb’s, one bosu, a resistance band, 2 cones and zero focus.  What is that about?

This happens at the gym, too, but we can play this off a little better and look semi focused by passing away on a piece of useless cardio (not enough focus for the step mill) or setting up a bunch of equipment for at least 20 min.  Do one set of something and then spend another 20 min. dismantling all the equipment you just set up.  It works like a charm in terms of smoke and mirrors.  If you have never done this, I’d be in shock if you haven’t at least witnessed it once.  Next time you see it, think of me.   If you’re not sure if you’re where I’m at right now, here’s your checklist:

You are in a good place with workouts if:

• Gym opens at 5:00am and you’re there at 4:55 escorting the gym staff to the door and you brought them a coffee.
• Your outfit matches your towel.
• Your outfit matches your towel and your water bottle.
• You forgot your ipod and you don’t care.  (Insert sneakers, gym clothes, whatever)
• You forgot your workout and you remember it enough to still do it.
• You sign up to work out with either Kas or Heather.  Those two are sick.

You are in a bad place with workouts if:

• The alarm goes off and you stomp it down with a shoe.
• You use your printed program as a coaster for your coffee.
• You pack your gym bag in the closet with the seasonal stuff.
• You don’t go to the gym and not only do you not care, you begin to talk others out from going.
• You pull into the Coldstone next to the gym instead going to the gym.

You are in purgatory with me with your workouts if:

• You go to work out in your basement but instead of working out you end up going up and down the stairs at least 5 times because you have to…pee, change clothes, get water, get more water, you heard a noise…
• You go to the gym and forget your stuff in the car so you go back out.  Then you go in and realize you brought everything but your sneakers so you go back.  And then you left your workout on the front seat.  And…
• You start by doing timed sets…but didn’t finish because you remembered you wanted to superset some stuff instead…but now your short on time so a complex makes sense right now…but you just did that so…
• You want to work out outside but it’s too cold.  So you find a piece of cardio next to the window in the gym and just stare outside and pine…

I pray to be out of this by the end of the week.  Feel free to share in my misery.  New series coming soon.  Hang tight!  Woop woop!

I’ve been yapping again, ladies, and I find myself saying a lot of the same things to folks who I am typically not working with.  So if you have never had a chance to ask me something, you may have been wondering something below.  Here are this month’s common questions or conversations I have had outside of my day to day stuff:

It’s not about what you don’t eat; it’s about what you do. Almost everyone at some point asks me how do you stop eating the crap.  I have been through this one a hundred times so I’ll spare you the details today and instead, remind you of the most important fact when it comes to food:  math.  You know I love it and it truly rules.  Stop worrying about what you snuck in for the day and instead focus on what you didn’t get in because it’s what you are lacking that is hurting you more. If you ate 1400 cals worth of clean protein, carb and fat and had 100 cals worth of crap (that you ate behind the couch when no one was looking…shame) all in the same day, that would mean that 7% of what you ate for the day was crap.  Or better yet…93% was darn good!  Now look at how silly that is to worry about that 7%.  You still got an A- for the day.  Really right now with the stress?  WITH THAT BEING SAID!… before you bury yourself into a jar of peanut butter or lose it on the bowl of chocolate in the office, EAT YOUR DESIGNATED FOOD FOR THAT TIME.  If you have room afterward, go for it.  You will not eat anywhere near as much and that’s the key.  But denial doesn’t work.  Trust me.

Your body has zero discernment. “Is it better if I…”  Stop asking me questions?  Yes.  Oops…did I say that?  But who knows how I am going to finish this sentence?  Is it better if I:  kettlebell train, run vs. other cardio, lift before or after cardio, take a fish oil cap and so on instead of [fill in the blank]?  Can I just be so blunt here?  Honestly?  Will you come back and read my blog again if I go here?  (I’m just wondering.)  The person who asks me this question will typically benefit from just “doing”.  Doing anything.  Run to get the phone, run to the shower, run out of gas…who cares.  Just run.  Some of us are using “getting our stuff together” as cardio in and of itself.  You’re worn out creating the perfect plan.  Just do something.  None of you are getting ready for the Olympics so just get on with it already.  Really.  And this goes back to math again:  Your body has no idea whether you lifted a barbell, dumbbell, carousel or seashell, all it knows is that it was heavy and it must respond to that.  Don’t over think it.  Unless you’re using it for avoidance…

Is it your body or is it your circumstances? Are you really gaining weight or are you stressed out?  Are your jeans really that much tighter or is a big project coming up at work?  Do you really hate that little tiny piece of your inner thigh that is jiggly or are you in a fierce battle with your sister in laws?  Are your legs bigger than normal or are your kids out of control right now?  If you “suddenly” hate your body or any aspect of it, stop and assess what’s going on in your life at that time.  We tend to try to manage our problems in life through the scale because it’s controllable.  It’s easy to manage.  And it gives us a chance to say we “suck” and we’re ALWAYS looking for a chance to say we suck.  Knock it off.  Get out of the mirror.  You were fine yesterday and you’re just as fine today.  Now that mole, though…

Fish oil is not the same as fish oil caps. Should I have fish oil caps or fish oil?  Yes.  Oh, I just answered your question.  I know you’re thinking I didn’t but I did.  The two are not the same.  You would never ask me, “Broccoli or my multivitamin?”  You would have them both.  So, fish oil= all the benefits of caps plus pretty hair, skin, teeth, nails; reduction in stretch marks and loose skin; and better body composition.  Fish oil caps=increased cognitive skills, fat loss, hormone enhancement, anti-inflammatory properties and eye health.  Stop avoiding the fish oil please.

Skip the quotes and do the work. I love quotes, I use them a lot when blogging.  They’re cool and catchy and can be quite motivating at times.  But when it comes down to the get down, go through the process.  Do the work.  Sweat it out.  I don’t mean in the gym.  I mean in life.  Whatever is getting you down.  Whatever is bothering you.  Face it.  Stop trying to throw a quote up on your desk and “power through it” like you’re some kind of machine.  Here’s the deal:  it’s the process that makes us stronger, not denial.  Acting like there isn’t a problem and using a quote to get you through does not make you stronger—it makes you harder.  Which would you rather be?  A strong woman?  Or a hard woman?  Do. The. Work.  Cry if you need to.  Own what you must.  Call it what it is.  Humble yourself when necessary.  Speak firmly when it calls for it.  But under no circumstances are you allowed to hide under your desk, throw out a quote and wait for it to pass.  Not only is that ineffective, but I am already under the desk and there is no room down here for more!  Get out.

Whether I am working with you or not, I love you.  I hope you know that.  See you tomorrow… woop woop!

Every Friday I will be posting an audio message for your enjoyment. I am working on getting video going, too, so look forward to that coming soon.

Feel free to comment below and let me know if you have experienced anything close to what I am talking about in this week’s post.  There may be 2 more posts in this series so hang tight while we get to The Silencer…the Pill.  Cool?  Woop woop!

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 Why Our Cycles Are Important [8:26m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

I have truly mellowed out in my old age.  Back in the day, I assure you, I was a much feistier gal.  I would like to say that that was a good thing, but alas…it wasn’t.  I have many a dead body behind me of those who entered into an argument with me and I wouldn’t say they “lost” but they lost something (i.e. limb, voice, money, life—who knows.  It wasn’t pretty.).  And those losses didn’t come because I knew something and was smarter than them—because that’s definitely not the case.  They came because I was ferocious at defending my end of the argument at all cost.  Whatever I knew to be true was true as far as I was concerned…and then I got older.

Getting older meant that I had to concede that I may know the truth or I may be “right”, but there could be a whole segment of information that I have never been exposed to that could stomp on whatever I am presenting as fact at that moment.  This doesn’t mean that I didn’t know what I was talking about; it means that I had limited knowledge in the topic being discussed.  This happens to all of us in some way, shape or form.  Think about how dumb we used to think our parents were when really, we were the dummies.  Or, say you are a trainer and a client tells you something that sounds odd to you and in your mind you call “bullcrap” because you think she just doesn’t want to diet or workout hard.  Then like a year later you find out that not only was she telling the truth, but now you have what she was talking about and you’re upset because now no one believes you.  Things like this happen all the time and I expect some of this to crop up during this series.  I need to debunk a lot of junk (wow, can I use that somewhere else?) that is floating around out there in the land of Greek Mythology, aka girl talk, surrounding our cycles and I expect some raised eyebrows.  There’s a ton of misinformation and we need to slog through the details to get to the truth.  Here are a few to start with:

1. Getting to the truth.

There’s no such thing.  There isn’t a central location of hormonal information that you will find that all of the medical community is going to agree upon.  There are two types of medicine that I am familiar with and I refer to them all the time:  Western medicine and naturopaths.  Western medicine is your traditional doctor who tells you what the insurance companies let them tell you.  They are not bad people, just limited by the system.   I will qualify this later so don’t get your underwear in knots if you don’t agree.  Hang tight.  Naturopaths are not exactly MD’s but they have a much more open view of tackling medical issues which is what you need when it comes to hormones.  The problem is, when you need a drug—you ain’t getting’ one there.

These two professions tend to be at odds with each other.  This is tough on us, the little guy, because we look to them for the answers and then find ourselves having to make a choice between the two without any real information to back up our decisions.  YUCK.

2. My cycle has always been messed up.  It’s just the way it is.

Umm…no it’s not.  And don’t accept that either.  Here is where I qualify my above statement.  Unfortunately for doctors, they do not have the resources to make you well.   They only have the capability to make you better.  That is not the same as being well.  Doctors look at the symptoms you present and make them go away.  They do not necessarily cure you.  And when it comes to a syndrome or chronic condition, they can only ask for so many things to be done that insurance will cover because after a while, they start getting vetoed.  Again, not their fault—it’s the system’s.  Hormonal issues require patience, lots of lab work and a good eye for detail.

3. My doctor diagnosed me with “fill in the blank” so that’s what I have.

Maybe so.  I have no right to argue that in any way.  I am not a doctor and do not profess to be.  But I am an advocate and I challenge you to get a second opinion.  Especially if what they told you that you had was a syndrome.  Things like PCOS, fibromyalgia and so on that do not have definitive tests (although PCOS does but few get the ultrasound done) but more like a list of things that you seem to have in common with them.  Syndromes are a great way to say, “I-have-no-idea-what’s-wrong-with-you-but-I-know-you-need-a-diagnosis-or-you-won’t-be-happy-so-I’m-going-to-tell-you-this-so-you’ll-leave-my-office.”  They have no true way to “fix” them but they give you something tangible to hang on to because it makes you feel better.  Not become well.  Just feel better.  And even then, you may not feel better, you may just be symptom free.

Why do I bring this entire subject up?  Why do I care so much?  I know some of you are thinking, “I was just fine before you started kicking up all this dirt.  Now you have my head spinning.”  (Or maybe that’s just Kas thinking that  I bring it up because if you are not optimal at normal body fat levels, you are REALLY not optimal when you get lean.  And for some of you, it’s what’s keeping you from getting the body that you desire.  Your cycle screams “I am not well” and to lose weight, change body composition or be the best you can be:  you need to be well.

Much more to come.  This is a big topic when it comes to changing your body for the better.  If you have any horror stories, you know I love them.  Hit me up below.  Woop woop!

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