[Where's My Mojo?] You Smell Something Burning?
February 15th, 2012
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by Jodi · Filed Under: General Health · Ponderings
I want you to envision us just sitting and chatting. Excuse my afro; it’s a bit unruly today. And I am still in my night clothes, I hope that’s not awkward for you. But as we sit and talk, I want you to imagine that this conversation is taking place over several weeks, not in one sitting. And I want you to imagine that you have told me a lot about you before this conversation is taking place. The things that make you happy…things from your childhood…all good stuff that you remember shaping you into the woman you are today. And then I want you to think about the some of the most prominent memories of your childhood that stick out to you instantaneously. You don’t have to dig. They’re just sitting there like a book on a table. And most likely they are not positive. Now, you’re ready to read.
Like a moth to a flame burned by the fire…
The other day I used the example of laundry as being the thing we were “all about” at the time and I used that on purpose because I wanted to make the point that it doesn’t matter what it is that we’re focusing on, it matters that we’re focused. This is because if it wasn’t your dream that you took you down, then the fuel source that was giving it life finally burned out. This flame could have been burning like a raging inferno since you were a kid or it could have had a fresh dose of kerosene poured on it later in life. Regardless of when it started, it was there or you wouldn’t have been driven. Denying you have a fuel source is futile, you have one—get over it. The fact that you lost your mojo says that something went out. Whether it was a tiny candle or a flame thrower is debatable, but the flame is out. Gone. Finito. Zed. Zilch.
I refer to us a lot as Type A, driven women. I want to point out here that they are two separate things. There are many Type A people out there who are not driven and there are many driven people who are not necessarily Type A, although, the latter is less common. But being type A is not about a flame. That’s personality. Being driven, though, is about a flame and that’s what I want us to focus on. There is something that is making you like a dog with a bone about whatever it is you want to do and if it burned out, it was not healthy. Those that can burn for years on end without taking themselves or someone else down with them, either have a healthy fuel source or a lot of fuel to burn. But how many of us are watching what’s going on in the world today and realizing that very few of us have a healthy fuel source? We read of tragedy after tragedy of celebrities and every day folk self destructing because they burned themselves out. Very few of us are pulling from a place of security when we set out to do whatever it is we want to do.
I have millions of conversations with women every week. Seriously. Millions. Ok, maybe more like thousands, but that’s as low as I’m going.
I am a consummate introvert—which is hard to believe—but I am not in the least bit shy. If you give me access to you, I will absolutely ‘go there’ and help you to find the identity of your mojo whether I am working with you or not. Why do I tell you this? Because what I am about to explain to you did not come from a book. I didn’t read a good book on psychology and then come bring it to the blog. I know what I know because I’ve been up in enough women’s butts for the past 8 years that I can now write about it. And I only became interested in it and then convinced of it because of my own personal flame (which was a 5 alarm fire that needed 3 city fire departments to put it out—oy!) that blew out and it took all that I had to do to get it back.
There are two ways that we lose our mojo: we kill the dream (that was yesterday) or we never really had it in the first place and we somehow discovered that in our quest for validation. I am sure you are thinking, “You made me read all this so far to tell me that?” Yes. Sorry it’s not complicated. It’s very simple. Your drive has been fueled by something other than ‘your great discipline’. How do I know that? You can’t get it back. When it comes down to it, you no longer believe in any of the reasons you had before to continue doing what you were doing. Now, you may consciously believe, but deep down inside your inner self took a vacation to your goals. This is why you can start a plan 35 different ways but finish it the same way: as a fail. You cannot muster up enough of anything to get your heart to match what your mind wants and it’s frustrating. Self sabotage, extreme measures, rigidity, throwing in the towel, depression, jumping from plan to plan, starting a new plan every other week, vegan today—atkins tomorrow and endless excuses are symptoms of this phenomenon. If you have ever heard yourself say, “It’s because of… that’s why I can’t… If I could just… then…” Um…no. You need a new mojo. You can just [fill in the blank] all you want. It still isn’t going to get you back to where you want to go.
Sit on this. Think about it. I have more…really. And trust me when I say this, it is always something. It’s never just because you suck or you just can’t get your act together. And you do not need therapy. You just need to know what it is. Cool? More tomorrow…woop woop!!






