We’re near the end of this great journey through our virtual tour of a 12 week diet but we still have yet to conquer our fears and deal with a goal that does not come to pass.  Let’s not waste time and just hop right in.

I have thought about this all week long in terms of how I was going to present fear to you.  My initial thought was to sort of pick up where I left off with ‘pressure’ and tell you about the fake voices in your head and how they control you.  However, I know that some good brain cells were set on fire with that post so I will put out those flames later on with another post when we go into the series that discusses the after effects of this diet.   What I feel that most of us lack is an understanding of how real those voices and feelings seem at the time and because of this, how much they can rob us of a healthy dieting experience.  If we can acknowledge in our hearts—not our minds—that those voices are just fear and they are not real, then we may be able to make it through this diet without making any rash, harmful decisions.  But it is the acknowledging that is the hard part.  We have such a tough veneer that most of us aren’t honest enough with ourselves to share that we have fears.  Real fears.  So real, they seem like people in a room to us.

FEAR is an acronym in the English language for “False Evidence Appearing Real”. Neale Donald Walsch

Hands down, the best weapon in war or any other kind of battle is intimidation.  Warring parties would try to convince the other side that they had an advantage in hopes of getting them to surrender without even going to battle.  In many instances it worked and a fight was avoided.  When it comes to something such as dieting, the enemy isn’t another country warring against us; the enemy is in our mind and it will stop at nothing to de-rail us from our goal.  It is real, it occupies real space in our brain and it can become so real that we could almost have a conversation with it on the couch.  Actually, we do have a conversation with it on the couch.

I want to stress this concept to the point of ad nauseam because you may fail to see its relevance and impact in your life.  When you are 7 weeks into this diet but your only 1/3 of the way to goal, it is fear who is going to remind you of that.  When you are in the gym and you suddenly feel portly compared to the week before, it is fear that is making that happen.  When you are deciding on adding extra cardio into your program when you know you shouldn’t or cut out carbs before your plan tells you to, it is fear that gives you the wherewithal to that.  Fear becomes your best friend.  He goes from being just a topic you discuss with someone you trust to a scary man with bad breath who is real, mean and standing right next to you.

As dieters, the things we fear seem so silly when we say them out loud so we keep them to ourselves and it is there that they become true villains in our minds.  They literally take on the human likeness of a 6’3” tall, large frame, ominous looking and strong male who stalks us wherever we go.  He pops up at the most inopportune times and refuses to leave us, even after we have convinced ourselves for the 20^th time that hour he is a figment of our imagination and nothing is going to happen.  He has bad breath and is happy to breathe on us any time we feel we are losing control of our present circumstances.  Thus if life begins to squeeze us emotionally through work, home life or friends, here comes fear to keep us company through that by giving us something else to worry over instead of the real issues at hand.

He makes us anxious.  He makes us get up, go to the cabinets and eat like there is no tomorrow.   He can tell us to take a not-so-good ergogenic aid because without it we will never get to where we want.  He’ll talk all day long if we let him—and we do!  We argue with him, reason with him and even shout at him if we’re alone.  He is in full control and we are at his mercy when he strikes because we 1) want to deny that he is real and 2) do not recognize the behaviors that he brings out in us because we keep denying he is real.  More than anything you must acknowledge his presence to get rid of him or he just keeps sitting at the dinner table in your mind feasting on your sanity.

I’m not even going to try to address conquering fear here and for the most part of this series I have only pointed out emotions and actions without going into how to get over them.  This is mainly because it is not that simple to “fix” and this post is already longer than the line of traffic at a cheap gas station without adding that in.  I promise I will get there.  We have much to cover in the coming months and I think it best to get your mind percolating first.

Tomorrow I will wrap this series up by giving you the last two weeks of the diet.  It may interest you to know that we do not make it to goal the way we want and so I will cover what to do when that happens, as well.  This has been a great series and I really appreciate all the emails and comments.  Keep ‘em coming! Woop woop!

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There are some things you just can’t explain.  There’s no rhyme or reason for it, they just are.  Things like:

• Why people must slow down on the highway when someone is pulled to the side of the road.  Not emergency vehicles.  Nothing important.   Heck, there doesn’t even have to be someone in the car!  They just slow down.  GRRR.

• Why my kids need to talk to me as soon as I get on the phone.  I mean AS SOON AS.  I could be sitting there attracting moss and no one notices.  Phone gets near my ear and they want to know why the earth rotates on an axis.  REALLY??

• Why there’s no one in a store until I have to check out.  I went in the store because it was empty but something about the purchases in my hand attracted an aggressive mob that suddenly stormed the front of the store.  It’s uncanny I tell you.

And the best of all…why some food combinations just do not work when you are trying to lose body fat.

If you are a trainer and you are thinking about specializing in fat loss then one of the best things you can do is have all of your clients bring their food diaries in to you—even if you are not doing their nutrition.  Tell them you want it for accountability reasons but really you want it to protect yourself from falling victim to The Bermuda Triangle.

There are just some foods that when you eat them on a consistent basis, they keep you from progressing.  I do realize that we are in the middle of no starchy carbohydrate phase in this world but I caution you from dropping all starch from your diet on a long term basis–it is the kiss of death.  And I also realize that some of us think we’re cave men or permanently on a beach somewhere or whatever diet you may be following, but I do not ascribe to any of that stuff so I’m not here to back up their theories.  For as long as I have been doing this, there is nothing wrong with eating food in its whole and natural state while losing weight (the real problem lies in the fact that that is becoming hard to find nowadays) and you can eat just about anything you want if you have it in moderation ßnotice the word moderation.  Ahem.  America’s weight problem has only been for the last 40 years and starchy carbohydrate has been around a whole lot longer than that so there you go.

But if you are going to open up your diet (and you should!!), then you need to know the ground rules for some nefarious foods and combos that can wreak major havoc on your waistline.

Low Carb Tortillas

Can you have one?  Sure can.  Two?  Maybe.  How about one with your lunch at least 3 days a week?  Nope–wouldn’t do it if I was you.  I don’t care how low carb they are either.  You could pass them off for a piece of shoe leather they have so much fiber in them and I *still* wouldn’t have more than 2 in a week.  And these are huge with folks who love breakfast burritos so the minute you spot one, jump on it because I’m sure they’re not reporting all that they’re eating.

Peanut Butter

Yes, it’s a good fat…A good fat strategically placed on your thighs.  Why is peanut butter so bad?  Because as you are scooping it, you’re eating it.  And you’re eating it every day.  Twice a day.  And then sometimes you just open the jar and smell it.  And accidentally have a teaspoon of it.  PB is just something that is truly not measured.  Yes, you put 2 T on your food diary because that’s what you’re willing to admit you ate.  For some reason, though, you are buying a jar a week and sometimes you are running out mid week.  2T my behind!  And there are other reasons why but honestly, those are small in comparison to the amount of PB that you consume.  Seriously.

Protein Powder

Ok…start breathing again.  Let me explain how this makes the list so you can stop weeping in your chair.  When you see this show up more than 2 times in a day, you have a problem.  I can guarantee you, where there is a plateau with a clean eater, a plethora of protein powder follows.  Shakes are good in moderation but they stink at long term body composition change.  Also, stop getting the powder that is packed with all kinds of other stuff, too.  Complete physique staller right there.

Artificial Sweeteners

Get them out.  Now.  Don’t eat anything diet and note all the products that they do show up in and weed them out.  Walden Farms anything, Crystal Light, protein powders and diet drinks are just some examples but the list is much longer than that.  These are absolute body fat loss stoppers.  They could shut down mid afternoon traffic with the stuff that’s in them never mind your body comp change.  Don’t walk away from these, run.

Low Fat or Fat Free Cheese

Nothing to say here other than you are what you eat.  And cottage, ricotta and feta do not count, they are fine in your diet once in a while.  Keep in mind that I am not a fan of dairy.  Another post for another time.

Caustic Combos

These are foods that by themselves are not bad but when they show up in the same day food journal cause drama:

Steak/salmon and any kind of whole grain bread. Don’t do it.  Even Ezekiel is off limits. And if you do, don’t get on a scale for at least 4 days, maybe even 5 to be safe.

Rice and beans. Yes, it’s a staple for some but for you it’s an albatross around your neck.  I know…you need a protein when meat is not appealing but this ain’t the one.  Keep looking.

More than 2 processed foods in a day. Turkey bacon, chicken from those huge Costco/BJ’s bags—even raw, boil in a bag brown rice, perdue chicken short cuts, actual egg beaters (the brand) and so on.  You get the point.  They are real close to the real thing but they’re off just a tad.  Too many of those in your diet and you’ll never change that body from flab to fab.  Remember, we need to dot our I’s and cross our T’s.

Gum w/Xylitol

If you are chewing a pack a day of this stuff, just stop doing cardio now and go sit on the couch because it’s not making a difference any more.  If you wonder why, go back up a few to artificial sweeteners and take it from there.  Besides complete unrest for the tummy, you bloat on a level that is unexplainable.  You may even find yourself modeling for an Anne Geddes picture with your pregnant belly sitting on a perch.  Not good.

These are just a few that come to mind without thinking too much.  Remember, these are fine to have in your diet once in a while but not on a consistent basis or in high quantities.  Walking away from everything starchy is unrealistic and stifling so be smart about when you do bring them in.  It makes a difference.  And truth be told, there is nothing revolutionary on this list but you’d be amazed at how much of this stuff you may be consuming without realizing it.  It’s always nice to have a reminder.  The one I almost always catch people with is the artificial sweeteners.  Check what you’re eating!

I am about to begin my next series so hang tight for that this week.  Hit me up below if you have a question of a food you eat regularly and wonder where it stands.  Woop woop!

My office is so small, when I drop a Kleenex on the floor I have wall to wall carpet.

I don’t care what I do to my office, it is never clean.  Ever.

The pen issue is at least under control now.  But there’s still room for improvement.

I spend at least one day per month, and possibly even more than that, “cleaning” my office.  Either it seems crowded, messy, unorganized, running amuck or disheveled—it doesn’t matter, it drives me crazy nonetheless.  I will move things around, supposedly clean them out, rearrange them and reorder them all to have the same office I started with before.  I do not need a bigger office, I think that would be worse but what I do need is to really stop and think about what is realistic for the space that I do have and then to slowly go about changing that.  It’s unrealistic to think that I am going to dump all my furniture and stuff out tomorrow and start anew so I obviously need to be patient and stop rearranging my pens to make my office look different.  Until I do that, I’m not satisfied and I start the process all over again to find the best office arrangement for me.  And so it goes for skinny fat women as well…

I would rather use the string from an uncooked roast beef to floss my teeth than be skinny fat.  How’s that for drama?  First, that’s not true and second, I was just looking for a way to shove in a good “I would rather” since it’s been at least 4 posts or so since I’ve had one.  I love putting them in and I can’t get them gross enough every time they show up.  But as I was saying…  I wouldn’t go so far as to say that but I will say that it’s not easy being thin.  I know, I know…some of you are throwing a rock at the computer screen right now and I hear you but you need to see it from their point of view.  They have NOTHING to say they have arrived.  Sure you’re thinking they’ve arrived already but not true!  Don’t forget this company is dedicated to looking good naked and nothing is scarier than a sheet of skin hanging off of a coat hanger with back pockets stuffed with cheese.  Ok…I stole that from someone who considers herself to be skinny fat but that’s what they say!  When you have to lose weight, your motivation to keep the good fight going is the scale/BF reading/picture comparisons that you have weekly or bi weekly to go by.  You need those because as far as you’re concerned, you look the same every week no matter how much you lose.  It’s only when you can see it on paper that you actually believe.  So then what does the skinny fat girl have to rely upon if the scale isn’t really moving, body fat readings are hard to get accurately when you are that lean and pictures do not show the detail that she needs to boost her confidence?  It’s a hard place to be and I do not envy them one bit.

This is the thing that is the hardest to accept when you only have to do a body comp change:  you have to diet harder and tighter than a girl who just has to lose body fat.  It is SO hard to lose body fat and not weight at the same time and keeping you focused is like asking my almost 6 y.o. to sit still for 5 min.  Not fun!  It takes longer than weight loss and much more dedication.  And for those of you who have weight to lose, this will be you once you reach goal weight.  You must stay there for at least 6 months for your body to adapt before you start to look like you’re lean.  The quality of your food is essential and you cannot get away with things like turkey bacon, purdue short cuts, packets of oatmeal and so on.  You have to go to the next level in food choices:  steel cut oats, no bacon of any kind (what a shame typing that), high quality fish oil, chicken that’s not soaked in a sodium solution first, etc.  You still do not have to eat organic, that’s a myth, but you cannot do anything processed at all.  You also have to limit fake food (protein powder) because it does not do a body good long term.  (someone’s going to argue with me on this…)  You MUST dot your I’s and cross your T’s and timing is everything.

So let’s wrap this up shall we?

I said I would give you some hard core numbers to live by and here they go.  Please keep in mind these are AVERAGES:

TWENTY SOMETHING:

• Can gain as much as 15 pounds and get away with it.  Not recommended but the earth will still rotate should it happen.
• It will take you as much as 16 weeks to get that off assuming you A) did not recently become lean and b) do not want to kill yourself to do it.
• Should not eat over 2200 cals unless you are over 160 pounds, super tall or genetically gifted.
• Should not go below 1400 cals unless you are a snail, thyroid disaster or under 5 feet.
• You lose at a rate of 1.2/week over the course of 12 weeks.
• You could lose as much as 3/week if you have never lost before or kick it into high gear.
• You will rebound as much as 8 pounds/10 pounds lost if you do it too fast.  So if you lose 20 pounds in 12 weeks b/c you lost your mind and went for the gusto, you have the potential to gain 16 of it back WITHIN THE FIRST 2 WEEKS OF GOAL.
• It will take you 9 months to convert a skinny fat body over to a body that can withstand a full powered booty smack.  This is assuming you are on it like a hornet that whole time.  You will have to be there consistently, though, for 4 months to own it.

THIRTY SOMETHING:

• Can gain as much as 11 pounds and get away with it.  Not recommended but Wall St won’t crash should it happen.
• It will take you as much as 12 weeks to get that off assuming you A) did not recently become lean and b) do not want to kill yourself to do it.
• Should not eat over 1800 cals unless you are over 160 pounds, super tall or genetically gifted.
• Should not go below 1300 cals unless you are a snail, thyroid disaster or under 5 feet.
• You lose at a rate of 0.9/week over the course of 12 weeks.
• You could lose as much as 2/week if you have never lost before or kick it into high gear.
• You will rebound as much as 7 pounds/10 pounds lost if you do it too fast.  So if you lose 20 pounds in 12 weeks b/c you lost your mind and went for the gusto, you have the potential to gain 14 of it back WITHIN THE FIRST 2 WEEKS OF GOAL.
• It will take you 12 months to convert a skinny fat body over to a body that can withstand a full powered booty smack.  This is assuming you are on it like a hornet that whole time.  You will have to be there consistently, though, for 6 months to own it.

FORTY SOMETHING:

• Can gain as much as 5-7 pounds and get away with it.  Not recommended but it’ll be a nail biter should it happen.
• It will take you as much as 14 weeks to get that off assuming you A) did not recently become lean and b) do not want to kill yourself to do it.
• Should not eat over 1800 cals unless you are over 150 pounds, super tall or genetically gifted.
• Should not go below 1100 cals unless you are a snail, thyroid disaster or under 5 feet.
• You lose at a rate of 0.67/week over the course of 12 weeks.
• You could lose as much as 1.5/week if you have never lost before or kick it into high gear.
• You will rebound as much as 4-5 pounds/10 pounds lost if you do it too fast.  So if you lose 15 pounds in 12 weeks b/c you lost your mind and went for the gusto, you have the potential to gain 7.5 of it back WITHIN THE FIRST 2 WEEKS OF GOAL.
• It will take you 14-18 months to convert a skinny fat body over to a body that can withstand a full powered booty smack.  This is assuming you are on it like a hornet that whole time.  You will have to be there consistently, though, for 12 months to own it.

Hit me up and tell me if any of this rings true for you.  I have been doing this for a long time and have seen just about everything in terms of beating the averages so don’t let this get you down.  But do let it give you an idea of what’s realistic.  What I have found is those that are upset are not unhappy because they didn’t make progress, it’s that the goal they had in mind in the first place was based on fantasy.  Adjust your mind now so you appreciate what you yield later.  Cool??  Woop woop!

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