I know—no, really…I know!—that I can be a nag about certain things.  I’d be amazed if you did not know that I was a psycho about good fat in your diet or variety in your meal plan.  In fact, I’d think there was something wrong with you if you didn’t know that about me.  But there really are reasons for the broken record lectures that come out of my lap top every week.  This series would rank up there as one in the top 3 reasons I am the psycho I am about the way you diet.  Not just that you diet, but exactly how you do it.  Most folks focus on just your body, others focus on your body and your general health; I would say I focus on your acute symptoms first, general health second, emotional stability third and body fourth because I have seen the damage first hand when the (outside of the) body is the top priority.

Variety is my bat and your menu is my ball and I literally beat the living tar out of it every week.  Occasionally I’ll get a homerun, but for the most part I’m just swinging at it hoping for a line drive (for you to change anything).  Eating the same thing every day, day in and day out is boring, restrictive and will make you manic.  But more importantly, it sets you up for food allergies and intolerances that once they set in, you have most of them for a long time or for life for some others.  Nothing is worse than having a favorite food that you can no longer eat because you ate too much of it and now it either makes you sick or makes you sick when you eat something else with it.  Ok, well I lied.  There is something worse.  And that would be developing an autoimmune disease or condition because of the foods that you are eating such as Crohn’s disease, diverticulitis, gastritis, IBS or Ulcers.

Each one of these conditions have no real known cause as to why you have them but all of them can be triggered by food allergies/sensitivities.  Crohn’s typically runs in families but just because your parents have it does not mean you will.  What really needs to happen is that you provide it with the right environment to thrive and then it will kick in when it’s ready.   Ulcers are very much like that, as well.  They are caused by H. Pylori bacteria that flourish in our stomachs but not everyone who has H. Pylori has ulcers.  This means that we needed to get our bodies in such a rut/mess that we cultivated that condition.  I would hate to know I brought something as painful as ulcers into fruition because I insisted on eating XYZ every day.   We would like to think that because we are eating so “healthy” that we no longer have to worry about these things.  Only people who eat crap get these things.  Wrong!  Oh so wrong!

One of the requirements to work with us is to fill out a health history questionnaire.  In that questionnaire we ask if you have any medical conditions that we need to know about.  Time and time again, form after form you will see someone list a gastrointestinal condition as something they are struggling with.  Shoot down to the section on food and they will say, “Every day I have…”  and proceed to give me their food diary.  Is this their fault?  No.  No one talks about variety the way they should and most of us are happy we eat something never mind trying to mix it up.  But now that you do know, you are responsible for your health and you need to get to mixing it up!

Here are some things that you need to know when it comes to these five conditions:

Do not stack slow metabolizers

I talk about this as ‘caustic combos’.  These are foods that are not bad but should not be eaten close to each other.  Salmon, steak, sword fish, beans and pasta come to mind when I think of these.  They are foods that typically take a long time to move through the colon.  Therefore, eating them on the same day or having them day after day is not a good idea.  Slow motility (the amount of time food spends in your colon) is a major factor in diverticulitis and IBS.  The longer food sits in your colon, the more damage it can do.  And yes, we eat a lot of fiber but that means nothing.  Constipation is out of control among clean eaters (hence this series).

Binge on more than just chocolate

Chocolate is mucus forming and can really do a number on the colon.  Mucus is a primary symptom of IBS which basically says that there is major inflammation somewhere.  Say you work out and do not replenish your water adequately.  Then you come home a little later and have a salmon salad for lunch.  Now you’ve jammed up the highway during a drought season.  Then you lose your tree that night on some chocolate (I know…you’d never do that).  Now you have a chief aggravator waiting its turn for exit in your colon while sitting behind pink stucco.  Great.

Easy on the offenders

Dairy, wheat/gluten, egg whites, nuts, soy, popcorn, chemicals in food, caffeine (yoohoo diet coke lovers), chicken and fructose/sweeteners of any kind are known allergens.  Eating them in large quantities is just asking for trouble.  Back in the day, Walden farms marinades were all the rage.  Then people started cropping up with all kinds of health issues—not because there was something wrong with the marinades, but because they were going through a bottle a week.  It was crazy.  I am sure Walden Farms did not want people eating their product on that level.  But that’s what we do, we KILL foods we love.  KILL them dead!  We eat them until their pouring out of our skin.  So much of what we go through is incredibly preventive.

Listen, if you made it this far….wow.  There is more.  We need to talk symptoms of the above, supplements for everything and thyroid stuff.   This goes much deeper than you think.  Woop woop!

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It’s been one of those months again.  You know…when I go to a million different places and have a million different conversations with a million different people.  How’s that for exaggerating?  I am serious, though.  I feel like I’ve spent the whole month talking which is kind of funny because I am one serious introvert.  I know—it’s hard for you to believe–but I am.  If you leave me to my own devices, I’ll stay in my office all day long alone with the ringer off on my phone.  That is pure heaven to me.   But I didn’t stay in my office; instead I was out and about being pegged with a bunch of questions I feel are more on the review side but worth a quick mention again:

Do I need a multi vitamin?

Yes!  And get a good one, too.  Good does not mean expensive.  My favorite?  GNC Ultra Mega for Women original.  They got all crazy and started coming out with ridiculous variations such as one for dog walkers, those who use hair gel and for anyone who still watches Survivor.  Honestly, you don’t need all that.  Plus the amounts that they add for things like that are so small it’s not worth it.

Do I need to take __________?

Most likely no.  This conversation usually starts off with all the things you need to take/buy and then ends a little later on with you telling me that you don’t have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of.  Let me say this for the record:  unless you are in a MAJOR endurance event , cutting for a MAJOR event or just won the lottery save your money.  There are only 4 things I advise people to take long term:  multi, BCAA’s, fish oil and magnesium.  Anything else is a specialty item that is being taken for a specific reason.

I hate swallowing pills.

Really?  Because I know of at least 10 people who’ve told me how much they love it and wish that their food came that way, too.  Ok, done with the sarcasm but this really is a non issue nowadays.  You can get just about anything as a tincture/liquid or a chewable online or in a vitamin store so knock yourself out finding what you need.

What’s a good brand?

Who the heck knows!  Seriously!  They change vitamin brands by the hour.  I have been in stores standing in front of a display and someone has come over and relabeled the vitamins while I stood there.  Ok, that’s a lie but I have been pumping gas before while the price was going up.  You get my point, though.  So here are some general tips that I’m sure if you try hard enough you can find the exception to the rule so please bear with me:  go national (Nature’s Way) but not commercial (One A Day).  Do not buy the 50 pound container of vitamins at Costco or BJ’s.  Go middle of the road for price.  Too expensive is usually over the top (USANA or Nutralife—the Coach brand of vitamins) and too cheap is just that (Walgreen’s version).   Don’t read the label like you know what you’re doing, you have not a clue what you’re looking at.  Admit it.  Go for sustained release if you can find it and last but not least, if you can get pregnancy vitamins do it because they are typically of great quality.

Do you recommend any fat burners?

WHAT?  Put the crack pipe down girl!  No!  Listen, I spent a very long time at a weight that I wished to holy heck I was never at and STILL didn’t take a fat burner then.  THAT alone should tell you how I feel about them!  Put the bottle down and run.

What should I take post workout?

This will be a series.  Hang tight for this.

There’s more.  Today was all the supplement questions.  I had others and I’ll post those tomorrow.  It’s been a busy month.  If you have any questions I don’t answer over the next few days, hit me up via email and I’ll see what I can do.  Woop woop!

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I have seen some jacked food combos in my time that’ll make your hair stand on end, all in the name of “variety”.  I am a huge proponent of variety in one’s diet and when folks try to put this into practice, it sometimes translates into a nightmarish situation.   But there is a reason I harp on variety and it bears repeating in this post:  severe, hard core, no-joke, serious BOREDOM.  So much so, that you may find yourself chewing on grass just for a different feel and flavor on the palette.  This is where the crazy combos come in—and trust me, they are crazy.  It behooves us then to talk about what variety really is so we can avoid the pitfalls of every day eating that allow us to fall into the mundane dieting some of us are doing today.

There are three major things that come to mind when I think of variety in our diet:  different types of food, different food flavors and different textures of food.  If you have enough diversity in the types of foods that you choose, then you will do well in all three categories.  If not, you could be chewing on your blanket by the morning and that’s not a very pleasant thought.

Different Types of Food

I have this incredible talent for taking things that are simple and defined and making them confusing and complicated all in a matter of seconds.  I know this simply because when people tell me what they’re doing with their food choices all week long, they are nothing close to what I suggested.  When it’s one person, it’s them.  When it’s a bunch—it’s me.  Therefore, I own this and I get it and I am here to try to make it better by being more clear when explaining what your week should look like.

What it isn’t:

• A different food everyday that never repeats in the week. I don’t know where this came from but man am I impressed if you can get this done.  There has to be a food that repeats in a week.
• A different protein at every single meal. Again, no, you cannot have chicken at every meal but you can have it at 2 meals in a day.
• Thai food today, Mediterranean tomorrow, Italian on Thursday. You are not obligated to become Chef Boyardee.  Please avoid the temptation.

What it is:

Variety is varying the foods in your diet in such a way that your Monday does not look *exactly* like your Tuesday and that you sufficiently switch up your fruits, veggies and starches throughout the week.

• If you have chicken for lunch on Monday, have it for supper on Tuesday and have something different for lunch on Tuesday so you are not eating the same grilled chicken salad everyday for the next 2 years.
• If you have oatmeal on Wednesday, have cereal or oatbran on Thursday.  Go back to oatmeal on Friday.
• Have 3 favorite breakfasts, lunches and snacks each so you can rotate them around and keep it fresh.
• Change your fruit daily.  It’s the easiest thing to do since you do not have to cook it.

Different Types of Flavors

For some reason, this is the hardest of all the things to get folks to fool around with.  There is more to life than BBQ sauce, lemon/pepper, garlic salt/powder and grated parmesan cheese.  If you continuously eat the same 1 dimensional food flavor, you will have no defense against a meal that smells like Heaven and tastes like a motley of spices and sauces.  You’ll be dead in the water.  Most neglected flavors:

• Citrus (other than lemon)—Orange chicken is lovely.  I don’t mean the one you get at a Chinese food restaurant.  I mean one made from a reduction of orange juice.  YUM.
• Tropical—Mangoes, coconuts, passion fruit and so on can be very fun.  Get to know them.
• Polarizing—Cloves, mint, licorice (anise) and other dominating flavors

Check this site out and go crazy:  Khymos

Different Types of Textures

Protein powder is not a food, it is a supplement.  It is wonderful post workout to make sure you get in all your nutrients fast, but it is not a meal.  We are meant to chew our food and when you do not, you are not satisfied. When two or more of your meals are shakes, the odds of you being happy while having them are low.  Can you stay on it?  Sure.  We are happy to be unhappy for long periods of time so staying on it is not necessarily an issue.  Is it a good thing for you?  Nope.  Why?  Texture is more important than variety and flavor combined.  Any time I ask a woman why she ate such and such, the number 1 reason she broke her diet, she’ll say because she loved the way it crunched.  This is a major message for all of my non-starchers out there.  At some point, you could be taken down by an Ak-Mak cracker.

• Salad is great for a crunch but it rarely does the trick.  We eat it way too much.  However, croutons will light up your life alongside craisins, sunflower seeds, al dente beans and
• Mixing cold and hot foods together is another way to explore texture.  Hot rice on a cold salad or cold, crunchy veggies in a warm wheat pasta salad—yum.
• Next in line to crunch:  creaminess.  Melted cottage cheese on a potato or cold greek yogurt mixed with salsa, lime and pineapple on a piece of warm chicken come to mind.

Keep in mind you will refuse to eat a food first because of feel on the palette before taste ever becomes an issue.  This means if you are at work with your packed lunch of mushy chicken and slimy asparagus and someone shows up with warm Asian chicken covered in an orangey/citrusy sauce with crunchy wonton strips and cold green beans marinated in a hoisin sauce, you could beat her down in the office.  Please let me know so I may be there.  I need the entertainment. Woop woop!

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I started to open this series up with a ton of science on our brains that shows how we are hard wired to desire certain types of foods and how these foods affect our emotions so we desire them more and so on and so forth.  However, I kept coming back to the same place of debunking some kind of crazy myth that we all seem to buy into that has been perpetuated by the powers that be and has secretly tormented us over the years.  I finally came to the conclusion that I need to debunk the myths first.

It is no mystery to any of us that we care about how we look.  We also love the satisfaction of a good workout, the feeling of being fit and the distinction of being different than the rest of the population.  With that love comes the heavy burden of trying to stick to a challenging diet for a long period of time:  no processed food, limited starches, limited sweets and low fat choices with very little support from outside of the clean community.  This is not the haven we thought it would be when we first signed up for this lifestyle.  I don’t know about you, but I know I thought this would be easy because I would feel great all the time and wouldn’t want unhealthy food because I was now “so healthy”.  I had no idea what I was in for the first time I broke my diet.  All I know is I started in the morning with Dunkin’ Donuts and ended in the evening with Bertucci’s and everything in between was a blurr.  That was 9 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday, although, that could be because there was butter involved.  Shhh.

When I first started dieting, I did it for a very specific reason so the means justified the ends.  I was a fitness competitor and the protocol was that you needed to torture yourself with dieting in order to get on stage or else you were not getting on stage.  Or let me say, I wasn’t getting on stage.  I don’t know if everyone shared my same views back then.  But there was an obvious reason for my very bland, boring diet that lacked variety, starch and fat.  Fast forward to present day and my diet, although still clean, looks very different than it did back then.   Flavor, texture, fat, balance and quantity vary all the time and that is something that has mattered far more than anything when it comes to me sticking to this eating lifestyle.  The majority of us who can’t stick to it long term or find ourselves struggling all the time are over dieting for the results that we desire.  If you say to me that you do not want to get on stage and you are not eating sodium, still eating tuna from a can or packet or follow any bogus diet in a magazine, we really need to talk.

This industry (meaning clean eating) it what it is because of competitors and fitness models.  You can thank both men and women alike that don the cover of magazines and strut across stages for our initial desire to enter into this way of eating.  Even if you are a runner/athlete, you have been enticed to this way of living because that’s how your favorite athletes are maintaining their weight, as well.  However, we want their look without the stage or the lights and believe to get that we need to follow their diet, or their method of dieting, *all* the time.  Not so, says I.  Also, this industry is full of “diets” but then refer to them as a lifestyle.  You cannot have a lifestyle of dieting (in the noun sense)—that’s a nightmare waiting to happen.  At some point we need to learn how to *live* this life instead of hopping on a diet for 12 weeks, off a diet into a pit of sugar for 8 weeks, back on the diet to negate all that we did in the pit, back off of the diet again into sheer anger and frustration and so on.   Or better yet, live in maintenance hell where you are constantly wondering if you are doing enough to stay where you want to be so you do more, crash, do more, crash, etc.

There are many things we need to consider when eating like this:  flavor, texture, variety and balance are a great place to start.  We also need to think about serotonin, dopamine, estrogen and galanin when it comes to the brain stuff and lastly, sodium, sugar and fat are beyond important to our long term survival.  Magazines like to talk in terms of recipes and nutritional sound bites, your friends will talk in terms of suffering, the internet is going to show you how much you suck at doing this but I’m going to talk about this as a living, breathing thing that must be learned and nurtured to be accomplished.  Are you ready?  Woop woop!!

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Before I delve into how our girl is a survivor and how she is much smarter in her attempts to diet, I want to back track a bit to yesterday’s post.  Under Stalemate, I mentioned a bevy of things our girl was no longer sticking to like she did the first time around and I failed to mention how important that was.  When we diet the second time, third time and even fourth time around, we become less and less detail oriented.  We excuse more and more of our indiscretions but yet we look for the exact same results that we had when we were following the plan to a T.  As soon as we realize that we are not progressing like we did before, we then use that as a weapon of mass destruction against ourselves, our purpose, our success in life, our relationships and so on.  So we do it half heartedly but judge it whole heartedly.  It’s a bad combo.  What can we learn from that?

Myth: We are really on point while dieting even though we’re not tracking anything or fully adhering to anything.

Fact: We know when we are on fire and we know when we are going through the motions.  We are not disappointed with the plan when we do not get results—secretly we know we shouldn’t have any.  We are actually disappointed with ourselves because we cannot stay focused.

Failing forward: The longer we diet, the better we get at knowing when to start a plan and when to cry ‘uncle’.  Much like learning how to separate emotion from the task at hand, knowing when to start a diet and knowing when to wait is an art in and of itself but it can be done.  We begin to learn that there is a difference to committing to a plan and “cleaning up our act”.  The latter is best used when it is not a good idea to diet but staying where you are is not a good idea either.

Won the Battle, Lost the War

She reached goal, folks, and you would think that she would be excited but she’s not.  In fact, not only is she not excited, she’s actually panicked about it.  For her to make goal she had to do a bunch of things with her diet and workouts she wasn’t exactly prepared to do and now doesn’t know how to back out of them.  For one thing, she does cardio 2 times a day, 7 days a week and has no idea how to back out of that.  She also eats less than 1000 cals per day, no fat, no cheat meal and hasn’t seen a starch for weeks.  She’s exhausted, cranky, weather beaten and bitter because this isn’t what she had in mind when she first started dieting.  She feels sort of trapped.  On the one hand, she loves her body but on the other hand, she feels like a slave to it and can’t imagine keeping the pace she is at indefinitely.

Myth: Maintenance is hard.  It is actually easier than you think but our girl is confused right now.  She does not realize that the only reason she is in this spot is because she forced a situation in the first place.

Fact: The longer you are at a weight, the more you *own* it.  It will take more to make you gain weight as time goes on and you will do less and less to maintain it.

Failing forward: Eventually we begin to learn that we can’t just *stop* things.  We begin to see that there is a method to this madness and that a slow taper will keep our results while we lighten the burden on our bodies.   As we do this, we start to learn what’s a trigger food, what causes us to have insomnia, what’s the least we can do and still sane and what’s the most we can do and not collapse from exhaustion.

The Smoke is Clearing

Flash forward a year and our girl is doing ok.  Not great, just ok.  She has much to learn about being lean and staying lean but seems to be up for the lessons.  She rebounded again from the last diet she did but nowhere like she did the first time.  The second rebound was about 7 pounds and the manic frenzy of eating was not nearly as dramatic as before.  However, she noticed that her body on a whole is different, her weight distribution is not close to being the same and she is developing acne for the first time in her adult life.  Something is up but she’s not sure what.

Myth: We just diet, get lean and all else stays the same.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

Fact: If you want to maintain this lifestyle long term, you need to get smarter about what you are doing to your body being this lean.  There are good and bad consequences and you should know what they all are.

Failing forward: With as much drama that comes with every diet, we look better each and every time we do it.  Our weight distribution tends to even out, our body composition changes more favorably and we have less and less mood swings when done the right way.   However, when it’s not done the right way we can develop disordered eating patterns, burn ourselves out and go the complete opposite direction of health and wellness and head down a long dark corridor of confusion and disillusionment.  Failing forward is the right way.  By giving ourselves permission to not be perfect, not always be on a plan, gain a few pounds here and there and like working out for other reasons than how we look, we begin to embrace this as a lifestyle instead of a means to an end.  What I would love for us to see on a whole is that every week of your diet is a learning experience—not a test.  Therefore, you are there to take notes…not score a 100.  If you look at your dieting in this light, it will change the way you react when you “can’t get everything right”.

I wrap this all up tomorrow on audio.  I have some things I want to say more than write so I hope you meet me there.  In the mean time, get off your back and cut yourself some slack.  Cool?  Woop woop!

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I began this series by pointing out the four phases of dieting which are success, rebound, dieting after rebound and maintenance.  Each phase has a unique characteristic of struggle associated with it that is present with almost all dieters when they are in that particular phase.  As we mature as dieters through experience (both positive and negative), we slowly but surely learn to fail forward.  These phases and their quirks no longer bring us down and we begin to make it through the obstacles faster.  Some of us do it by learning and some of us do it by adapting.  The latter is not healthy and if I remember, I will talk about this at the end of the series.  If not, it’ll come up again I’m sure and I’ll make you aware of it then.  Today, however, is dedicated to the characteristics of the rebound phase and how detrimental it can be.   Our girl did go on vaca and gain a few pounds, but it didn’t end there.  She came home and really sealed the deal.

Ok…so this is a hobby horse but you get the point.

Unpacking

It’s been 3 days since she’s landed back home and to say things have gotten worse is an understatement.  At first it was all about ‘just feeling better’:  you know…stop the bloat, eat healthy and feel ‘clean’ again.  But no matter how much she wanted that, she couldn’t stop eating junk.  Lots. And lots. Of junk.  Suddenly she hates chicken and the way it feels on her teeth when she chews.  And she loathes the smell of tuna fish from a can although she’ll eat it from a packet.  And don’t even mention cottage cheese! OY!  Amid all this repulsion of good food, is this strong desire to eat ANY kind of bad food.  Chips in any form, chocolate, bread, ice cream and peanut butter is all she had on hand when she first came home and that wasn’t enough to stop the onslaught.  She went out to dinner with friends and killed a bottle of wine by herself AFTER she ate the bread basket, all the oil that came with it and the dessert she ordered.  And this was all in the first three days!!  As she unpacked her clothes, she sat in shock of how much she’s packed in her mouth in 72 hours and the pounds keep adding up.

Myth: We have control over our eating and when we don’t it’s a lack of will power.  This is true if you’re talking about turning down dessert not when your dessert starts on one end of the kitchen cabinets and ends on the other.

Fact: If she does not intervene, this will not “just end”.  This will go on for a good amount of time.  For some it’s weeks, for others it’s months.

Failing Forward: Our girl will soon learn that when the sugar monster shows up, he must be tamed by the FAT guy.  Good fat silences the sugar demon.  It’s not perfect, but it’s better than this.

Stressing

When the initial smoke cleared from her free-for-all, our girl mistakenly thought it was ‘safe to go back in the water’ and 2 days after the first eating spree ended, the second one began.  This one was less fervent and far more insidious because instead of her eating a ton of junk endlessly, now she ate really well all day but then lost it at night.  Or she would have a crappy breakfast, great lunch, no dinner and a box of junior mints to top off the day.  She didn’t know how to eat and she didn’t know how to stop the onslaught.  She feels bigger than she ever did before she even started dieting and now she’s out of control.  What the????????

Myth: Now that I eat healthy, I’ll never go back to eating crap again.

Fact: We are driven by emotion, not by health.  If you think you eat the way that you do because of health, you have another thing coming in way of revelation.

Failing forward: Stick to eating small meals often even if they are not super clean.  When this goes down, give up the rigidity of rules or you’ll hold yourself down longer than need be.

Lamenting

Now what?  Why go through all that dieting only to end up here?  Our girl feels trapped.  Who can she tell?  Who would understand?  Better yet, who would care?  She has never felt so lonely before in her life.  This has got to stop.  This weekend is it, she decides.  I’m getting back on plan and I’m going to get this all off.

Myth: You can just get back on plan.  Good luck with that.  You’ll probably take a hostage by meal 2 and demand a ransom of a gallon of ice cream and some fudge sauce or you’re fleeing with your hostages.

Fact: Your issues at this point are out of your “will’s” control.  They are hormonal and emotional, there is no will in that.

Failing forward: If this ever happens to you, lose all structure.  Stop trying to conform to something and just accept that you are a hot mess and no amount of planning is going to fix that.  As soon as you let go, you’ll be more in control.

There’s more to this craziness.  Pull up a chair and stay tuned.  We need to talk about when she starts dieting again.

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If you really want to get a chuckle, look at my resume from when I first started working.  I have done just about everything under the sun from delivering newspapers to designing balloon catheters and stints for angioplasty surgery.  I went to school for mechanical engineering and biology and graduated with the expectation of going into the biomechanical engineering field but that never happened.  Instead I took my first job as a chemical engineer—don’t ask how I made that leap—and had an eclectic career path in engineering that ended with me working for the state as a civil engineer (Dear God in Heaven will this madness stop?—again…don’t ask how I made that leap).  The only common thread during all of those years was I was an athletic junky.  I wasn’t a gym rat, yet, just an athletic junky and I taught group fitness classes after work every night.  I did this until 2001 when I took another leap, only this one was a leap of faith and dropped the engineering altogether to see if I could make it as a full time trainer (I did this to be a SAHM.  I still love engineering.)  Years later, here I am as a janitor of Starbucks.  Oops, that’s coming soon…not there yet.

It’s important for you to know my background because it speaks directly to how I think, train clients and determine what a failure is and what is not.  In the world of engineering, there is no such thing as a failure per se (unless a client dies as a result of your design and then that’s not just a failure, that’s a tragedy and a lawsuit.), it is more like ‘that was good information’ and now you know better.  Obviously, good engineers get closer to the mark, fail faster and fail cheaper but failure in some way, shape or form is expected (preferably in the design stage, though, so as to avoid lawsuits).  The process is best described as iteration and is what I live my life by in terms of how I do things.  I really couldn’t care less if I mess something up and many times I get excited when I do because it means I making progress.  The question is, am I going to hang out crying over my failure or am I going to say, “Crap.  Now why did that happen?” and do something with it.  At that moment, the choice is mine to do with it as I may and glean from it as many golden nuggets of info as possible.

Over the next few days I want to walk you through a diet like I did before, only this time I will walk you through with you seeing through the eyes of the dieter and the dieter going through a few 12 week cycles instead of just one.  We can all learn a lot from this, including myself, because we all have a certain amount of perfectionism that we bring to the table that inevitably holds us back from forward progress.  However, the main thing that I want to show you is that almost all of us have survived dieting by iterating to some extent and if we just fully embraced it instead of poo-pooing it, we’d fail forward faster.   The fact that we look at it as a failure as opposed to good info is a primary reason as to why so many of us become discouraged and head into the land of moping.  I also want us to see how we regroup while dieting.  Some of us have become very adept at looking at our pasts and seeing where we made mistakes, but in the land of engineering that takes way too long and wastes way too much time and money.  We need to be more efficient in our failing.  We need real time data and real time “fixing”.

Meet me here tomorrow, dressed for the gym with your cooler packed as we start our 12 week diet.  I look forward to losing a few pounds with friends.   Hit me up below if you want me to mention anything in particular.   Woop woop!

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I’ve been yapping again, ladies, and I find myself saying a lot of the same things to folks who I am typically not working with.  So if you have never had a chance to ask me something, you may have been wondering something below.  Here are this month’s common questions or conversations I have had outside of my day to day stuff:

It’s not about what you don’t eat; it’s about what you do. Almost everyone at some point asks me how do you stop eating the crap.  I have been through this one a hundred times so I’ll spare you the details today and instead, remind you of the most important fact when it comes to food:  math.  You know I love it and it truly rules.  Stop worrying about what you snuck in for the day and instead focus on what you didn’t get in because it’s what you are lacking that is hurting you more. If you ate 1400 cals worth of clean protein, carb and fat and had 100 cals worth of crap (that you ate behind the couch when no one was looking…shame) all in the same day, that would mean that 7% of what you ate for the day was crap.  Or better yet…93% was darn good!  Now look at how silly that is to worry about that 7%.  You still got an A- for the day.  Really right now with the stress?  WITH THAT BEING SAID!… before you bury yourself into a jar of peanut butter or lose it on the bowl of chocolate in the office, EAT YOUR DESIGNATED FOOD FOR THAT TIME.  If you have room afterward, go for it.  You will not eat anywhere near as much and that’s the key.  But denial doesn’t work.  Trust me.

Your body has zero discernment. “Is it better if I…”  Stop asking me questions?  Yes.  Oops…did I say that?  But who knows how I am going to finish this sentence?  Is it better if I:  kettlebell train, run vs. other cardio, lift before or after cardio, take a fish oil cap and so on instead of [fill in the blank]?  Can I just be so blunt here?  Honestly?  Will you come back and read my blog again if I go here?  (I’m just wondering.)  The person who asks me this question will typically benefit from just “doing”.  Doing anything.  Run to get the phone, run to the shower, run out of gas…who cares.  Just run.  Some of us are using “getting our stuff together” as cardio in and of itself.  You’re worn out creating the perfect plan.  Just do something.  None of you are getting ready for the Olympics so just get on with it already.  Really.  And this goes back to math again:  Your body has no idea whether you lifted a barbell, dumbbell, carousel or seashell, all it knows is that it was heavy and it must respond to that.  Don’t over think it.  Unless you’re using it for avoidance…

Is it your body or is it your circumstances? Are you really gaining weight or are you stressed out?  Are your jeans really that much tighter or is a big project coming up at work?  Do you really hate that little tiny piece of your inner thigh that is jiggly or are you in a fierce battle with your sister in laws?  Are your legs bigger than normal or are your kids out of control right now?  If you “suddenly” hate your body or any aspect of it, stop and assess what’s going on in your life at that time.  We tend to try to manage our problems in life through the scale because it’s controllable.  It’s easy to manage.  And it gives us a chance to say we “suck” and we’re ALWAYS looking for a chance to say we suck.  Knock it off.  Get out of the mirror.  You were fine yesterday and you’re just as fine today.  Now that mole, though…

Fish oil is not the same as fish oil caps. Should I have fish oil caps or fish oil?  Yes.  Oh, I just answered your question.  I know you’re thinking I didn’t but I did.  The two are not the same.  You would never ask me, “Broccoli or my multivitamin?”  You would have them both.  So, fish oil= all the benefits of caps plus pretty hair, skin, teeth, nails; reduction in stretch marks and loose skin; and better body composition.  Fish oil caps=increased cognitive skills, fat loss, hormone enhancement, anti-inflammatory properties and eye health.  Stop avoiding the fish oil please.

Skip the quotes and do the work. I love quotes, I use them a lot when blogging.  They’re cool and catchy and can be quite motivating at times.  But when it comes down to the get down, go through the process.  Do the work.  Sweat it out.  I don’t mean in the gym.  I mean in life.  Whatever is getting you down.  Whatever is bothering you.  Face it.  Stop trying to throw a quote up on your desk and “power through it” like you’re some kind of machine.  Here’s the deal:  it’s the process that makes us stronger, not denial.  Acting like there isn’t a problem and using a quote to get you through does not make you stronger—it makes you harder.  Which would you rather be?  A strong woman?  Or a hard woman?  Do. The. Work.  Cry if you need to.  Own what you must.  Call it what it is.  Humble yourself when necessary.  Speak firmly when it calls for it.  But under no circumstances are you allowed to hide under your desk, throw out a quote and wait for it to pass.  Not only is that ineffective, but I am already under the desk and there is no room down here for more!  Get out.

Whether I am working with you or not, I love you.  I hope you know that.  See you tomorrow… woop woop!

Yes.  The device went dead.  Here’s the million dollar question:  What does it take to get it back?  Here is a list of things you can do to get your mojo back in no particular order:

Start all over again. I know what you’re thinking: “What is wrong with you, you pelican!  You know I’ve tried that at least 50 times and it hasn’t worked…clown.  Last time I’m reading your blog for any advice.  Sheesh.”  Thank you, I’ll take the beating.  Now shush and listen.  Starting all over again is not going back to what you know and resurrecting it, it’s about starting with something completely new.

• Do not try to eat 5 small meals with the same old chicken and broccoli.  That ain’t gonna cut it.  In fact, I would say start with 3 meals: breakfast, lunch and dinner and then have a snack here and there.
• Give up the thought of trying to eat like you did when you were on point.  Accept anything healthy.  Don’t worry if it is a carb, fruit, protein, Styrofoam—whatever.  Just eat.  If it’s unprocessed, it’s yours.
• Do NOT pick up a fad way of eating:  raw, vegan, paleo or etc. unless that’s what you truly believe in.  This needs to be mindless and easy with absolutely zero pressure.
• Do NOT put a weight loss goal on it or any other type of goal.  JUST HANG OUT FOR A WHILE.

Make 2/3 of your workouts be outside and bodyweight driven. There is something about being a kid again that gets us energized.  I’d ask you to skip to work if I thought you’d do it.  Get up, get out and have fun.

• Do NOT set up a workout to be a body part split unless lifting isn’t your issue.
• Do NOT get 2 feet near an elliptical.  In fact, burn the ones in your gym during prime time.  Although, DO get the people off of the machines first.  They didn’t do anything to you, you know.
• Don’t tell me that it’s winter and it’s cold and blah, blah, blah.  Get up, get out and have fun.
• Do NOT ride the bandwagon of the latest fitness craze.  That only perpetuates the burnout.  But DO do something completely different than what you were doing before that involves all of your bodyweight and agility:  snowshoeing, biking, skiing, hiking, trail running, CATZ and whatever else you can think of that is not lifting or stationary cardio.
• Make general goals like I need to move 4 times this week.  Avoid things like, “I need to lift 3 days and do HIIT 3X’s a week” for now.  They emotionally bog you down and immediately set you up for failure.

Go beneath the water line. You must want this for more than aesthetic reasons and realize that “proving” yourself hardcore is no longer the draw it used to be for your subconscious.  Go down into the deep recesses of your heart and soul and find out why you do this.  Make peace with your thighs.  Love your back fat.  Enjoy your cellulite.  I don’t care how you do it, but move beyond the mirror and start digging in that well spring known as your heart.  Discover other reasons as to why you exercise and eat right.  Now is the time to:

• Journal
• Meditate
• Discover
• Analyze

Now is NEVER the time to:

• Criticize
• Dump on yourself
• Bitch and moan
• Whine

You know this emotional exercise is for you if your immediate thought was, “I don’t have time for this.  I need to lose X amount of pounds.  This stuff is stupid and it’s for those who are too weak to get it done.”  Ding ding ding ding ding!!!!

Change your environment. If you are beaten down right now and trying to get your mojo back but everything that surrounds you binds you to your past, it’s time to move on.  Stop the magazine subscription, block some folks out of your feed on facebook, change gyms if you must and find new friends if need be but do something now.  Don’t let it drag you down even further before you finally cut the umbilical cord.  You are not leaving forever—just until you get healthy.

Ask yourself the following questions:

• What bothers you about it?
• Did you ever do the same thing as what bothers you about it?  If so, why/how?
• How does it make you feel?  Why?  If it’s a super strong reaction, note that.
• Where is that coming from?
• What can you do about it?
• Does this feeling crop up every time you start a new program?

These are just a small sample of questions to ask yourself once you de-clutter your mind.  I have a million more but I’ll start you off here.  Last but not least…

Know your fuel source. Find the accelerant.  Remove all the charred material.  Build it again but this time make it fire proof.  Woop woop!

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