June 12th, 2012
by Jodi · Filed Under: Ponderings
It’s been a long week at work and it’s finally coming to a close. You’ve had a “good week” in terms of diet and exercise so you are feeling “on track” right now and you’re hoping the weekend will be the same. The phone rings and it’s your hubby calling you with a surprise: a weekend for two down the cape with a Saturday night boat cruise to boot. The kids are being packed up and shipped off to Grandma’s like a bundle sitting on Amazon’s loading dock and you have no other plans to cancel so right now it looks like it’s smooth sailing to paradise. You hang up the phone and do a happy dance in your cubicle—for 2 min. Then the panic sets in:
Wait, I am on track this week. I have one lift left for the week, when do I fit that in? I’ll call ahead and see if they have a gym. What about food? I’ll get online and see their menu. No need to ruin all this work this week. I really wanted to focus on my workouts, though, I’m finally on track. Grrrr.
I cannot miss any day. If I do, I am somehow “less than”. I’m both not dedicated and somehow likened to “general public” or I’m just a downright fraud because my priorities are in the wrong place yucking it up like this. If I let on day go, I’ll never get on track again and I’ll gain weight.
Ok, this was not in the plan but I can handle this. Missing one day of cardio and one lift is not going to kill me. In fact, it will probably do me some good since I’m so stressed from work. What I lose in workout time, I’ll gain in rest. Maybe I can get a workout in before we leave and it would be awesome if they had a gym. Let me see what I can do…
Then you remember the call with your hubby: “Babe. I got us a trip down the cape. Just ‘me and you’ time. We haven’t had just me and you time for a long time now. When you get home, pack the kids clothes, drop them off at my mother’s—stop the car this time…just puttin’ that out there—and meet me at the house by 6pm. We can be down there by 8pm while it’s still light out and eat out by the water.”
As great as that sounds, you’re annoyed. You wanted to do cardio this afternoon and lift in the morning. There goes your mind again:
If I leave work now, I can get in 30 min of cardio—maybe I’ll just go for a quick run—grab the kids’ stuff and boot them to Grandma’s. I know he’ll want to snuggle in the morning but he’ll understand if I just run to the gym for a quick lift…
And until you actually do all of this, your mind will be consumed with the timing and the execution of this master plan that you have that supposedly is accommodating both his wishes and yours.
I’m sure he’s going to be annoyed because I need to get my workout in, but he didn’t ask me if this was ok. He just went ahead and planned this. He should know how important my workouts are to me. I just got on a roll. How can I go through the summer looking like this? How can I enjoy myself? Now I need to leave work early and I’m sure that’s not going to go over well. I can say my kids are sick…
This is just one weekend out of many in my life time. Yes, I’m on a roll and I don’t want to break it, but missing one day of cardio and one day of lifting for the sake of my marriage is worth every sweat bead that I’m not sweating today. What good is the workout if we’re going to spend the rest of the day not talking or enjoying ourselves? Not to mention, if I leave work early on a Friday it may not go over so well and I’m in line for a promotion. No 30 min on a machine is worth all that.
You end up not being able to leave early, traffic was a nightmare and you’re already a half hour behind. You are trying so hard not to be mad as hornet but you can’t help but think that this always happens:
Every time you get on a roll or feel like you’re making strides, something comes along and messes it up. (Now your mind is racing over all the times it seemed to be so much simpler than it is now.) When you seemed to have endless time to get things done and it took 2 min to lose 10 pounds; now it takes 10 weeks to lose 2 pounds. You don’t want to seem like an ingrate but you’re going to have to let hubby know that he should give you advance notice of these things so you can plan accordingly. Is that so much to ask?
Me, at all costs.
Who am I losing this weight for anyways? If the man I married is happy to have me 1 cardio and 1 lift session short and still plans for me to be with him, and him alone, for the weekend, what the heck is my issue? Will I really have a better time if I’m down 2 pounds but frazzled and disjointed going into the weekend or will I be happier if I am relaxed and more connected with my hubby with my weight loss goal waiting for me for the following Monday?
For some of you, this may seem extreme. For others, your nodding your head going, “I’ve been there before.” It’s summer time. Enjoy those around you in a relaxed and loving atmosphere. Disconnect from you and connect into something bigger: relationship. This means spending real time with mom, dad, hubby, partner, kids, relatives or friends without making them wait for you to work out first. Stop holding everybody—including yourself—hostage while you waste your memories in the gym. I promise to you that I will give you what matters for the gym in my third post, but until then, trust me when I say that one, even two work outs missed does not a disaster make. Perfection is unattainable and always costs something in the long run. Excellence is not stepping over a dollar to pick up a nickel. It makes no sense to be dogmatic about a goal because you insist that reaching it will make you happy when in the course of attaining it you made yourself miserable. See you tomorrow. Woop woop!