Week 4 is here and now we’re into remembering what food used to taste like.  We actually reminisce from time to time what cheese was like and how awesome it is and we wonder if we’ll ever have it again.   Then we think of the goal date and snap out of it.

GUIDELINES FOR WEEK 4

• Anything and everything extraneous comes out of the diet.  Everything.
• Condiments like mustard, vinegar (any kind), ketchup and so on are still fine but all else has to go.
• Lose the nutbutters and any other inefficient fat to trim back on the choices.
• Increase water and maybe even cardio at this point.  You should be 2/3 of way to weight goal or size goal by now.

PITFALLS

• You will cut out too much, go too extreme and doubt your way into misery.
• Get objective feedback.  If someone says you look good—believe them or don’t ask them.

“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.”  Eric Hoffer

I opened up this series by stating that dieting is personal and it is about this time that we begin to realize how personal it is.  With 4 weeks left to goal, we are visibly different than when we started and we are just now getting a true taste of how intoxicating adoration can be.  But there is an ugly relative of adoration who reaches just as far into our souls but is nowhere near as nice.  This relative is known as unwarranted comments and it is quite powerful.

I think we all in our lifetime have had to swallow a dose of someone else’s vinegar and for the most part, we can handle it.  But when the comments come daily and most of them from people you do not know, it becomes a bit much.  Soon we begin to stoop to their level with retorts that are not necessarily pleasant or with shame/anger that makes us sulk for the rest of the day because we have had a personal lifestyle choice judged by a complete stranger.  It is vital for our survival to understand that our choices have condemned theirs and do not truly reflect who we are but more what they are not doing, so we must instantly reject their comments and not receive them in our hearts.  I am sure you think you do that when you get in your car and text your girlfriend the whole exchange that went down, but the fact that we thought about it after it happened enough to text someone the whole exchange, means that we made it ours.  Stop, right then and there, and categorically reject people’s unnecessary, hurtful opinions by loving them with everything you got.

I know you’re going to ask me how to do that so let’s get right to it:

SCENARIO #1

You’re at a restaurant.  You just ordered a meal that was initially lasagna but after all your substitutions and requests it was essentially baked cod with steamed vegetables (we have a talent for this).  The waitress is annoyed, to say the least.  She takes the time out of her day to snarkly say to you “I think you can afford to have a little fat in the meal, don’t you think?”

Bad response: “I think I can afford to have a whole lot more than you, killah.  Meet you on the arc trainer in the morning? Hmmm??  I’ll bring the motivation, you bring the rest of the steak n cheese you’re going to have for dinner tonight and we’ll have a good time.  Don’t you think?”  Umm…not the way to handle that.

Good response: “To be honest, I’m super blessed to be able to afford this meal of which I am really looking forward to.  Thank you for asking.”  Said with a sincere and true smile.  Finish by telling her you like her hair or something.  Works great on getting the point across that you are not in the least bit affected and you are into giving folks second chances.  Don’t be surprised if she’s your best friend by the end.

SCENARIO #2

You’re at the gym.  You’re working out in typical leave-me-alone gear:  hoodie, hat, ipod, smelly shirt with baggy sweatpants.   Everything about you says “back-the-heck-off.”  Here she comes…off your right flank…there’s nowhere to hide…she’s gotcha now:  “Wow.  You look great.  When is your wedding?  Four weeks?  Great job, girl. I can’t wait to see your pictures. (This is called The Setup.  Don’t worry, she has an agenda.)  Are you worried that you’ll be able to keep it off after?  I know lots of girls who rebound after dieting like that.  It’s so extreme, ya know?”  WHAMMO!  You didn’t even see it coming.  That’s called the old let-me-pee-in-your-cereal-trick.  Works like a charm.

Bad response: “Extreme?  You’ve been here for 2 hours, talked to 8 people, been briefed on the tactical operations happening on cardio and surveyed the weight room and you want to call me extreme?  Girl, you better realize you’re in a gym and go find yourself a weight.  You know, those heavy things that change your shape (look her up and down)—for the better.”  At this point I would say you’re bitter.  Go eat a starch.

Good response: “You know I have thought about that and I will cross that bridge when I come to it. Nothing I am doing right now is extreme but I honestly cannot tell you what I will be like at that time, I’ve never done this before.  I hope you supported the girls who rebounded.  That has to be hard and I would think they need support more than anything else.”  That leaves her realizing that she just said something nasty.  It may take a while to seep in, but it’ll get there.

SCENARIO #3

You’re at your in-laws.  It’s Thanksgiving.  You’ve got a MIL who doesn’t mince words.  No set up needed for this one, she’s heck on wheels, “Frank, pass the plate to your wife.  She’s needs some more food on her plate.”  Now looking at you she adds, “You’re getting too skinny and quite frankly it’s not attractive.”

Bad response: “You have hair on your chin, you’re going to tell me what’s attractive?  Not for nothing but–”  Now I’m going to cut you off right there.  Knock it off, that’s your MIL.

Good response: “I thank you for your concern, BettyAnn.  I do wonder, at times, if I would know if this ever got out of hand but I know that I can count on you to keep my head on tight.  I am comfortable where I am at now but it’s comforting to know that you have my best interest in mind.”  You just put a cigarette out in her head with that comment.  Works even more if you mean it so show some love there.  Got me? She’ll be wondering the whole night if that was for real or not.

I’m afraid the last one is about fear.  Get ready for that on Monday.  In the mean time, let me know some of the crazy things people have said to you and how you’ve handled it.  Cool?  Woop woop!

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