Ok…so it’s national “I-need-to-get-some-stuff-off-my-chest-week”.  From annoying time changes/cold weather to just as annoying fitness gurus, I clearly have some repressed issues that need to surface.  In comes my recent gym experiences. 

I love my time of the day to work out.  It’s my time.  No one else’s.  So, my kids…they have to wait.  My husband…he’s number 2 at that time of day.  There’s not much that gets in the way of my workout once it’s decided upon and planned…until I get to the gym.  THEN, there is a TON of stuff that gets in the way.  Here are just a few:

 

1)       My Ipod:  I have sacrificed many a work out because I either forgot this at home, did not charge it or had an earplug malfunction.  I cannot even imagine cutting through the gym to the bathroom without my ipod never mind doing a full cardio workout without it.  In fact, doing cardio without music is like shaving your legs with a butter knife.  Sounds plausible but who would ever try it?

2)       A hat:  Hats are vital items in the gym.  Nothing speaks of “get out of my way, I am on a mission” more than a hat.  You can avoid ALL unnecessary eye contact, ANY thought of human contact and even seeing or noticing friends if you want to be that cut throat.  They MUST be standard issue baseball hats that fit down to your eyebrows easily and comfortably.  You know you have a good one when you walk into a piece of cardio because you just didn’t see it at first.  Hats can prevent awkward moments with other gym goers who want to share too much information in between sets or keep you from having to acknowledge the lurker on your left who wants to cut in while you’re working out.  Hats are a must.  The only thing more effective is a shirt that you are wearing that smells like 2 day old laundry.  There’s another keeper right there!

3)       Water:  Yes, hydration is important and keeping up on your water while working out is essential.  Being dehydrated can be the difference between a great workout or an ok workout.  But that’s not what makes water an irreplaceable item in the gym.  No, water’s importance is much like that of the hat:  it’s a great distraction!  Someone asking you something that you know you don’t want to be a part of?  Drop your hat and take a swig while walking with a purpose.  You’ll look so involved, no one will think twice about it.  Get this timing down, though.  If not, you’ll end up drooling on yourself and still have to talk to the person at the end.  Not cute.

4)       Gloves:  Now you may not be big on these but I am.  I have found these to be the handiest things ever.  For one, I don’t have to come in contact with the equipment.  Nowadays, I feel like I could catch a bad case of the hoolie goolies if I touched just the right thing in the gym.  I actually look forward to the Swine Flu b/c they at least know what that is.  I would be the sad sap who gets something that would provoke a 90 min. special from Dr. Sanjay Gupta of CNN so much so that my hands would turn a funny color and itch or something.  Who knows!  So gloves are great for keeping that from happening.  But they are also great for looking important.  You ever just want to raise your gym status for kicks and giggles?  Throw on some gloves and do some outrageous exercise while making some good grunting noises.  You’ll immediately pick up some fans.  However, if you have #2 on and #3 in your hand, you’ll never know so just take solace in knowing that they are there.

5)       Gym widget/pass:  this is the little gadget that gets you into the gym.  You need to have this.  If you do not know why, forget it one time.  Depending on the gym you go to, you may be mistaken for a convict and they may do a cavity search of you at the front desk.  It totally depends on the staff that day.  You could also luck out and get the chick who doesn’t want to look up and acknowledge you so she lets you through with no issue.  You never know.  But why risk it?  Because if you are that unlucky to get the gatekeeper, it’s going to be a rough go until you get in.  There’s usually the cavity search followed by some face recognition software and then occasionally a bit of DNA match up with fingerprinting.  By this time, though, you’ve lost all patience and have put on your ipod, pulled your hat down, taken a swig of water and walked out without need of your gloves!  It’s a shame.

If you have your favorite item, do share.  I am not a towel girl or a journal girl so I did not include those.  But if you are, let me know—I’d love to know.  In the mean time, I’m going to get my stuff ready for the gym in the morning.  It’s time to be incognito again!:o)

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