…if so, you could be in trouble…

I am a true offensive driver (read that as off-fensive, not oh-fensive,lol). I know where I want to go, I take the shortest route to get there, I drive over anybody in my way I do not lally gag while driving, I know the rules of the road and I exercise common sense. Now it bears mentioning that this has been since I am older because when I was younger, the world was my NASCAR testing ground and it wasn’t pretty. But I can say that my dieting reflects my driving experience: I was a jackass dieter when I first started out and wisdom and total failure common sense have tempered my spirit. My question to you is, how closely does your driving reflect your dieting?

Turning left to go right. What is this? Unless you are driving a Duck Tour bus you need to get over yourself and stop thinking you have a 36” diameter steering wheel with passengers in the back. Take the turn for Heaven’s sake!

Dieting: Starting on Monday, Tuesday, next day…whatever. We have all done this one at least once in our lives. Some of us just did it this past weekend. “I’ll start again on Monday. In the mean time, I’ll behave like a Survivor at a buffet from Thursday to Sunday and hope no one notices the 5 pound gain.” Going up 5 to lose 7 is exhausting. Reign this one in.

Not knowing how to properly yield. I don’t understand this one. It’s a yield sign, not a stop sign. If there is no one there, you slow down and keep going–you do not stop. If there is someone there, you do not bomb through and drive over them and act like they were in the wrong by slamming on your brakes after you cut them off or tailing them for a half mile with your high beams on. It’s called YIELD.

Dieting: It’s a cheat meal not a cheat day, cheat week, birthday week, splurge, endless vacation or what have you. It should be a meal. Eating a full meal *while* making your plate is a sure fire sign that things are going downhill fast. With that being said, are you too conservative? Are your cheats things like smelling the food at the bakery across the street or licking the spoon after someone has ice cream in the house? Come on now, you have to have something that makes you feel good and you may have it more than once a week. Call it whatever you want, just use some common sense and YIELD to the desire but not overindulge or undercut your meal.

“Deer caught in a headlight” with cones/cops/cars on side of road: You get the point here. You’re driving down the highway at a good clip and the car in front of you slams on his brakes and drops 20 mph in less than 2 seconds. You’re thinking there must be a corpse in the road b/c why else would someone defy the laws of inertia in such a careless manner. Nope. Cop on the side of the road, has someone pulled over. Umm…ok. He’s busy. What do you think you’re a better ticket so he’s going to drop what he’s doing, hop in the car and go flying after you? Use some common sense folks. That’s actually a great time to practice slalom training or test out the acceleration in your 300 hp vehicle—not anger the 8 cars behind you that are now fishing their hearts out of their throats because they just saw their lives flash in front of them. If you see lights on the side of the road, exercise caution but no knee jerk reactions lest you kill someone behind you.

Dieting: You’re on fire and making progress. Your clothes fit better, people are complimenting you left and right, Maybelline just asked you to be their spokes person for their mascara, it’s on right now. Then you step on the scale and you have only lost 2 pounds in 4 weeks. Suddenly, everything stops. All your progress seems for naught. Now you feel fat, you remember you have been bloated, you may be in a plateau, oh the drama. No, you are letting a box dictate your life/results. There is more to dieting than the scale and you most likely lost bodyfat during that time and it does not show up on the scale the way you would like it to. Stop stressing everyone out, you are progressing, keep your eyes on the prize, get off the brakes.

Mismanaging four way stops and rotaries: Oh boy. This is a tough one and can be incredibly painful to watch. If you do not understand the basics of a four way stop (one direction goes, then the other) or the complexities of a rotary (the people inside have the right of way), stay home because there is always somebody out there like me who is ready to pounce on you. It’s an ugly scene all around and when you have folks coming at you from every direction, it’s really easy to become a piece of blubbering jello in the middle of the intersection.

Dieting: Leaving the house unprepared with food thinking that you can make it up as you go along. Oh boy. At the first sign of trouble you are going down fast. If you think you can survive a drive through making healthy choices or hold out until you find something healthy, think again. Once you’re in the middle of it, you are going to panic and make a wrong choice. Know where you are going and what you’ll need before you go and you will have a much better experience while dieting.

So here’s your homework. Do you do any of these things? Either dieting or driving for that matter, fix it now. These are setbacks on the road to your goals. And at the very least, they add at least 10 min. on average to your commute each day. Regardless, get it together and get more on the ball, will ya? We have some goals to meet this year.

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