There are some things you just can’t explain.  There’s no rhyme or reason for it, they just are.  Things like:

• Why people must slow down on the highway when someone is pulled to the side of the road.  Not emergency vehicles.  Nothing important.   Heck, there doesn’t even have to be someone in the car!  They just slow down.  GRRR.

• Why my kids need to talk to me as soon as I get on the phone.  I mean AS SOON AS.  I could be sitting there attracting moss and no one notices.  Phone gets near my ear and they want to know why the earth rotates on an axis.  REALLY??

• Why there’s no one in a store until I have to check out.  I went in the store because it was empty but something about the purchases in my hand attracted an aggressive mob that suddenly stormed the front of the store.  It’s uncanny I tell you.

And the best of all…why some food combinations just do not work when you are trying to lose body fat.

If you are a trainer and you are thinking about specializing in fat loss then one of the best things you can do is have all of your clients bring their food diaries in to you—even if you are not doing their nutrition.  Tell them you want it for accountability reasons but really you want it to protect yourself from falling victim to The Bermuda Triangle.

There are just some foods that when you eat them on a consistent basis, they keep you from progressing.  I do realize that we are in the middle of no starchy carbohydrate phase in this world but I caution you from dropping all starch from your diet on a long term basis–it is the kiss of death.  And I also realize that some of us think we’re cave men or permanently on a beach somewhere or whatever diet you may be following, but I do not ascribe to any of that stuff so I’m not here to back up their theories.  For as long as I have been doing this, there is nothing wrong with eating food in its whole and natural state while losing weight (the real problem lies in the fact that that is becoming hard to find nowadays) and you can eat just about anything you want if you have it in moderation ßnotice the word moderation.  Ahem.  America’s weight problem has only been for the last 40 years and starchy carbohydrate has been around a whole lot longer than that so there you go.

But if you are going to open up your diet (and you should!!), then you need to know the ground rules for some nefarious foods and combos that can wreak major havoc on your waistline.

Low Carb Tortillas

Can you have one?  Sure can.  Two?  Maybe.  How about one with your lunch at least 3 days a week?  Nope–wouldn’t do it if I was you.  I don’t care how low carb they are either.  You could pass them off for a piece of shoe leather they have so much fiber in them and I *still* wouldn’t have more than 2 in a week.  And these are huge with folks who love breakfast burritos so the minute you spot one, jump on it because I’m sure they’re not reporting all that they’re eating.

Peanut Butter

Yes, it’s a good fat…A good fat strategically placed on your thighs.  Why is peanut butter so bad?  Because as you are scooping it, you’re eating it.  And you’re eating it every day.  Twice a day.  And then sometimes you just open the jar and smell it.  And accidentally have a teaspoon of it.  PB is just something that is truly not measured.  Yes, you put 2 T on your food diary because that’s what you’re willing to admit you ate.  For some reason, though, you are buying a jar a week and sometimes you are running out mid week.  2T my behind!  And there are other reasons why but honestly, those are small in comparison to the amount of PB that you consume.  Seriously.

Protein Powder

Ok…start breathing again.  Let me explain how this makes the list so you can stop weeping in your chair.  When you see this show up more than 2 times in a day, you have a problem.  I can guarantee you, where there is a plateau with a clean eater, a plethora of protein powder follows.  Shakes are good in moderation but they stink at long term body composition change.  Also, stop getting the powder that is packed with all kinds of other stuff, too.  Complete physique staller right there.

Artificial Sweeteners

Get them out.  Now.  Don’t eat anything diet and note all the products that they do show up in and weed them out.  Walden Farms anything, Crystal Light, protein powders and diet drinks are just some examples but the list is much longer than that.  These are absolute body fat loss stoppers.  They could shut down mid afternoon traffic with the stuff that’s in them never mind your body comp change.  Don’t walk away from these, run.

Low Fat or Fat Free Cheese

Nothing to say here other than you are what you eat.  And cottage, ricotta and feta do not count, they are fine in your diet once in a while.  Keep in mind that I am not a fan of dairy.  Another post for another time.

Caustic Combos

These are foods that by themselves are not bad but when they show up in the same day food journal cause drama:

Steak/salmon and any kind of whole grain bread. Don’t do it.  Even Ezekiel is off limits. And if you do, don’t get on a scale for at least 4 days, maybe even 5 to be safe.

Rice and beans. Yes, it’s a staple for some but for you it’s an albatross around your neck.  I know…you need a protein when meat is not appealing but this ain’t the one.  Keep looking.

More than 2 processed foods in a day. Turkey bacon, chicken from those huge Costco/BJ’s bags—even raw, boil in a bag brown rice, perdue chicken short cuts, actual egg beaters (the brand) and so on.  You get the point.  They are real close to the real thing but they’re off just a tad.  Too many of those in your diet and you’ll never change that body from flab to fab.  Remember, we need to dot our I’s and cross our T’s.

Gum w/Xylitol

If you are chewing a pack a day of this stuff, just stop doing cardio now and go sit on the couch because it’s not making a difference any more.  If you wonder why, go back up a few to artificial sweeteners and take it from there.  Besides complete unrest for the tummy, you bloat on a level that is unexplainable.  You may even find yourself modeling for an Anne Geddes picture with your pregnant belly sitting on a perch.  Not good.

These are just a few that come to mind without thinking too much.  Remember, these are fine to have in your diet once in a while but not on a consistent basis or in high quantities.  Walking away from everything starchy is unrealistic and stifling so be smart about when you do bring them in.  It makes a difference.  And truth be told, there is nothing revolutionary on this list but you’d be amazed at how much of this stuff you may be consuming without realizing it.  It’s always nice to have a reminder.  The one I almost always catch people with is the artificial sweeteners.  Check what you’re eating!

I am about to begin my next series so hang tight for that this week.  Hit me up below if you have a question of a food you eat regularly and wonder where it stands.  Woop woop!

Recently I read an article that debunked the statement that the world is getting dumber every year.  This has been going on for some time now because many people claim that our children are not as smart as generations before them since they can no longer do math by hand or type a straightforward letter.  Simply not true says the article and how they clear this myth up is by saying that the measuring rod is moved up every year to keep the kids looking dumb but in reality their IQ scores are actually 24 points higher than ours were back in the day.  (I, personally, find that hard to believe since rap has eroded into a hodge podge of non-sense otherwise known as Lil’ Wayne and TV has shows like the Kardashians and Jersey Shore dominate the air waves—but hey, what do I know?)  But something is up because I feel like I am caught in a time warp labeled Ground Hog Day and my days are filled with having the same conversation over and over again.  Can’t some things just go away?

I have spoken about Snopes.com and UrbanLegend.com and really love them for getting rid of internet hoax stuff but why can’t we have one for exercise and nutrition?  There would be some serious information removed from the web if this was enacted and it would probably put some magazines out of business. It would also create peace of mind for those of us who are in the business of making hot bodies so we could exit the Vortex of bad information and never ending myths.  I honestly feel like there is some high level conspiracy out there that keeps these myths-a-coming at a rate faster than the average trainer can quench.  (Hence the woman at the gym who still does side bends with weights.)

Seeing as this week is all about reality, it’s only appropriate to continue on from building into the most controversial topics of all, dieting.  We need to dispel some hype behind dieting so that on Monday, when you become the most focused woman to ever hit the planet, it lasts long enough to take you into Tuesday.  Cool?

WHAT IT IS

Dieting is a way of life that starts every Monday.  Somewhere between the ages of 0 and 4 we are taught that anything that tastes good needs to be severely restricted.  By 7 we are fully dieting even though we don’t even need to lose weight.  It is now taught as a part of science in the 7^th grade and shows up at times on the SATs as a “test” question (you know, the ones that don’t count):  “If Jane spends 2 hours on the TM per day, eats only lettuce and chicken for every meal except breakfast for which she has sawdust and pushes her car to work, how much weight will she lose by the end of the week?” Pick from one of the following:

• 1 pound

• 2 pounds

• 3 pounds

• None—she lost her mind on the 2^nd day and tore through her refrigerator like the Tazmanian Devil on crack.  Now she’s up 5.  Is it Monday yet?

TECHNICAL FACTS TO CHEW ON

Training:  Fast and furious.  No circuit training!!  Metabolic confusion all the way.

Food:  Some…but not much.  No matter how much you are told not to, you will over diet.

Supplements:  A few but nothing like building.  Fish oil is a must.

Rest:  As much as possible but since you’ll be ready to digest your innards, you’ll have a hard time sleeping.  Herbal tea comes in handy here.

THE FINE PRINT

All kidding aside (for maybe one paragraph, I can’t promise), there is nothing romantic about dieting.  Some of us begin the dreams of tricked out Coach coolers with designer chicken in them complete with matching Lulu Lemon pants and tops as if that combo has guaranteed a certain amount of weight loss.  And depending on where you are in your weight loss journey, nothing—not even dieting—can guarantee you some weight loss.  However, none of that is going to help you out when you find yourself in week 5 of dieting, down only a pound and fully frustrated that it seemed much easier the first time around.  Psst…it was easier.

First, whatever you did before to get lean is not going to work this time.  Wait, let me repeat that because I know you didn’t hear that and you’re going to shoot me an email that says, “I did such and such before so I’m going to do it again.  Could you tell me…”  and I’m going to be forced to jump through my computer screen and give you a noogie.  Whatever…you did…prior to today…to get lean…will not…that means won’t… “work”…the second time around.  I don’t care if you don’t use marinade on your meat or if you wear a weight vest during cardio; whatever you do the second time around better be better than the first.  Period.

Second, you will not lose like the first time around.  So as you gear up for next week as the week you’re about to put  the smack down on those 13 pounds you deposited this season, know that it will not come off like some kind of linear magic:  Week 1= 2 #, Week 2=2#, Week 3=1#  and so on.  Instead, it will look more like

(X² + Y² – Z_happiness)/significant other = I ^{meltdown at the mall}

and you will lose nothing for about 3 weeks and then suddenly drop 4 pounds in two days and so the madness continues.

Just like building, there are some things you need to consider when embarking on a 12 week diet to lean out:

• You will automatically forget how hard it was the first time and think it should come off easier and faster than it does.

• You have less patience.

• It’s not fun anymore so you are less willing to suffer for the cause.  You will cut corners, nibble, complain, nag, question and doubt from day 1.  This is the same for having babies.  When you get pregnant with number 2, you are in your doctor’s office trying to get an epidural at week 10 of your pregnancy talking about your back hurts already.  It’s a long haul.

• Give yourself an extra 14 days to get back in the groove.  You will be RUSTY on Monday.

• For the first month you will have at least 10 engagements to go to that involve open bar, buffet, dim sum and any other smorgasbord type of arrangement that’s going to remind you how long 12 weeks really is.

• You will lose in the mirror before you do on the scale!!!!!!!  Do not forget this or you will sabotage your progress!

• You will think you are fatter than you really are which will make you make bad dieting decisions.  This is the weight loss factor.  Multiply it by the number of pounds you have to lose and that’s how big you think you are.  WLF=3.  Have to lose 10.  Crap, I’m up 30.

Ok…you know the deal.  Tomorrow I put numbers to this and break it down because as funny as this is, it really is scary and this is where we lose our minds as sane, informed women.  You can diet successfully the second time around; it’s just not as easy as it sounds.  But the good news is it’s doable!  Armed with the right information, you can absolutely make this goal happen as opposed to going in blindsided and crashing and burning by week 4.  Cool?  See you tomorrow.  Woop woop!

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I’m sure some of you have figured out that I have some issues.  From the butter obsession (that I must say I do not indulge upon, just dream about) to my pen/journal  fixation, it is clear that I can come across a bit unhinged at times.  Let me assure you that I have been cured of those afflictions and now sit in a place where I can at least look back at them and giggle.  Another gift that I have been given is learning that is ‘less is more’.  This is one that I hope to instill in you, as well.  This is tough for us type A folks because we are so extreme in all that we do.  If we are going to be an underwater basket weaver, we are going to be THE BEST underwater basket weaver there is.  Knowing me I’d learn how to do it with every possible type of reed available to weave and I’d understudy with a reedologist and I would complete an accredited course on basket weaving and become a certified weaver and—you get the point.  This is a perfect illustration as to why it was so important for me to learn the principle of ‘less is more’ before I became a walking symbol for destruction.

In the case of building muscle when you are lean, less is definitely more.  Or as I like to say, “Just a dab’ll do ya!”.  Give up the dreams of waking up tomorrow with shoulder caps so round you could hang your coat on them.  Walk away from the idea that in 12 weeks you’ll develop your glutes to the point that you could pick up your kids and carry them to the car while your hands are full.  These things are fallacies and because you believe that you can achieve them, you allow your desires to talk your head right out of common sense; because common sense would tell you if it was that easy, everyone would have them.  But you aren’t thinking like that right now.  You have visions of iron clad butt cheeks with tennis ball like caps separated by a rigid 6 pack…it’s scary in your mind right now.  So let’s get you back to reality, girl.  You’re out of control.

Gaining muscle takes time.  There I said it.  It takes time, lots of consistency and due diligence.  And honestly, if you don’t have any of that right now, keep doing what you’re doing until you do have time to do it fully.  (Essentially, if I keep you from thinking about how long it takes and you just keep doing it, you’ll get there without realizing it.  Wait til I tell you tomorrow that developing a tight body takes time, too.  You’ll really flip your lid then.)  Because it takes forever and a day (did I say that?), do not set aside times to specifically gain muscle and lose body fat like they used to back in the day.  You are going down a long dark road doing it that way.  Instead, let’s look at an alternative way to give you the shoulders and glutes you so desire.

YOU’VE GOT MY ATTENTION, NOW WHAT?

Wow.  Fiesty today, are we?  Ok, let’s get specific.

What you need to effectively build is a surplus of calories, ample rest and full recovery from effective workouts.  Since we have come to the conclusion that we are not going to be Arnold by the end of 12 weeks, it is not necessary for us to eat like him either.  An easy way to create a surplus sans calories is to do much less than before.  This means the only activity you would do during this period of time is lift.  No cardio, Zumba, pilates, power yoga or any other activity that makes you sweat.  Nothing.  And you would also rest more than you did before so you will create an even larger surplus of calories.  If you tell me that you cannot rest more because your life is go, go, go kind of busy, I will give you that look that says, “Well then you must not want to build right now then do you?”  Please refer back to Saturday when I said there is no whining and yes you have to do all that I say.  If you can’t cut your schedule down and rest, you can’t build right now.  All of this is important because you are not going to eat too much more than what you are right now maintaining.  At best you may go up 200 cals, but not much more than that so you can see why you becoming part of your couch is necessary.   We do not feed you more, we move you less.  It works really well without all the extra poundage that is incurred through traditional stuffing programs.

WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT?

For all age groups, a bit of paranoia is to be expected.   If you are used to doing cardio 5 days a week right now, going down to none may make you freak out a bit.  You may also be more anxious because you just lost your daily stress relief.  However, it is still a better alternative to the freak out you would have eating extra starches in a day with a steady weight gain on the scale.  That, my dear, is a harrowing experience.  And you can expect minimal weight gain.  Seriously, you should gain no more than 10 but 7 is optimal over the course of 12 weeks.

TWENTY SOMETHING:

You can expect…well…not much.  Your ability to build muscle at this age is like my ability to give you a straight answer without some kind of wisecrack—hard.  You are going to slog away at the weights like it’s your job and have very little to show for it.  Especially if you are curvy.  The curvier you are, the less muscle you will make.  Sorry.  Just accept it.  So why depress you with this?  To keep you from thinking you’re doing something wrong and thereby attempt every lifting program/ergogenic aid under the sun which will in turn screw up your body for your thirties.

THIRTY SOMETHING:

You can expect the world.  At this age, it is at your fingertips.  Hormonally you are ripe for the picking.  You make muscle easier, you have the beginnings of muscle maturity and you aren’t calling your girlfriend every five minutes anymore as to what she is wearing so there is this inner peace and patience about that helps you stay focused.  This is a great age.  Get in the gym now and never come out!

FORTY SOMETHING:

You can expect density.  You will not get “bigger” but what you have will be fuller.  This is the look we all really strive for.  You are past your prime of making muscle and now are on a hormonal decline.  I know that well known dr. type folk are coming out saying the contrary but they are talking about general public making some muscle.  I am talking about you, the lifting elite, making more muscle.  Very different.  It ain’t happening now without a major battle or you being genetically gifted out the wazoo.  But you are in the age of making nice, full shoulder caps without trying.  Not two oranges sitting atop your clavicles, but a subtle attractive fullness that comes from muscle maturity.  And boy do we have focus now at this age.  Not only are we not calling our girlfriends, we are lucky if we keep our phones on.  And rest is not an issue.  We’re in bed by 9.  Shame.

I will put numbers to all of this when I wrap this series up.  Next up, dieting.  What you can really expect and how long it takes to truly get that lean look.  I will end with a talk on skinny fat because it is a daunting place to be and someone needs to put that reality out there for some of you.  I will put the numbers in that post or the one right after it but I promise to give you something very concrete to walk away with.  If you are signed up on the blog, you are getting the numbers today.  That is an advantage of being signed up.  Hang tight, there’s more to come!  Woop woop!

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Honestly, you women are crazy.  Last night I was on the phone with Kas (former Tuesday blogger) chatting away just catching up when I casually mentioned that I was blogging again.  Well she nearly flipped her lid and yelled at me saying that I never told her and why was I holding out.  But wait it gets better…  She’s on the phone with me, clearly agitated that she is now strapped in by this call that we’re on because she wants to…yes, wait for it…hang up to go read what I wrote.  WHAT?  Why not just ask me while you have me on the phone?  Hahahaha!!  Needless to say, we got a good laugh over that but she still hung up on me to read my blogs.  Ummm…whatever.

I am not sure if it’s me or what but this just makes no sense!

But this is our life, ladies.  We do things that do not make a lot of sense a lot of the times thereby wasting precious time.  But what if there were some things out there that do not make a lot of sense but somehow are beneficial for us?  Would you do them then?  Probably not but it’s worth a try:

1. Eat more to break a plateau: No matter how much I try to convince people this works, they still treat me like a dude with a big poster on himself that claims the world is ending tomorrow.  If you find yourself lifting 3 to 5 days per week, doing cardio even more than that and eating next to nothing and your body fat loss has come to a hault—consider eating more before eating less.  See most of you start off dieting and training with parameters that you should have at the *end* of your dieting and training season—not at the beginning.  If your goal date is 12 weeks away and you are already starving to death doing endless cardio and lifting like a fool, you’ve got a long, wasteful road ahead of you.  There is no doubt that somewhere in there you will hit a plateau.  When that happens  EAT MORE…not less!  Let me explain what this looks like:  all clean food, over a set amount of time, at least 50% more of your present intake and then go back to your original diet.  You’ll drop right away and be shocked.
2. Go on vacation to lose weight: Say you are the girl above and not only are you stuck in a rut, you are also exhausted.  Here is a little known secret:  you lose weight when you sleep, not when you move.  So if you never sleep, you never lose.  This is for the girl right now who is reading this and is getting 4 to 6 hours of sleep/night and can’t figure out what is wrong.  A surefire way of knowing if this is you is if you decide to go on vacation and you come back 5 pounds lighter after fully enjoying yourself for the week—this was you.  Ladies, give your adrenals a break and go to bed.
3. Can’t stop cheating?  EAT THE TREAT!: Deprivation causes madness.  Hands down.  ‘The more you deny, the more you will try’ and it can become all consuming if you allow it to be.  What’s the answer?  Take the temptation out by scheduling the treat in the diet.  And don’t just schedule it.  BE OK WITH IT.  *KNOW* that it’s fine.  Know that you are allowed to have this thing and it’s not going to do any damage.  If you don’t know it on the heart level not just the mind level, you will continue to snack uncontrollably.  TAKE THE TEMPTATION OUT and you will knock it off!

I know it seems outrageous and sometimes even gloomy.  But hang in there…it really does work!

We will do just about anything over here to help you ladies see how destructive your behaviors can become if you are not careful.  Maintaining a great body with definition and tightness takes a healthy balance between workout, nutrition and emotional health.  Many talk about it but very few have it.  We have been where you are and know all of what you are going through—trust us.  It seems so simple but it really isn’t.

Keep checking in as we go through all the things that you need to do to make it through eating clean and clean dieting the healthy way.  THAT’s the difference here.  Ciao for now!  Woop woop!

So I finally moved into my new house at the end of last week, thus my post hitting the blog today versus Monday.  (No internet.  The horror.) This new house is completely different from my last one in appearance.  It is a large just-built single family home versus a very-small circa 1979 townhouse.  The new house is a lovely brick and siding craftsman while my townhouse is faux stone and diagonal siding.  I could go on, but you get the idea—I’ve moved up a few notches with regard to the structure of the new house in comparison to the old one.  But you know what one of my concerns was when moving into this new house?  That it wouldn’t feel like home.   Our kinda sorta ugly-ish little townhouse was SO our home.  My husband and I proudly bought it 2 months before we married almost 10 years ago.  It was both of our very first house purchase and was to be our 3-year “starter home”.  Well, that is until my husband embarked on a 7-1/2 year school-a-thon…  Given the need for cash, and the fact that we didn’t produce offspring, it was a good (and cheap) place to be.  But it also felt good.  Being older, the house needed work.  With every little and big DIY project, the house became more and more infused with the essence of “us”.  That small-but-mighty place gave us shelter and forced a closeness between us.  (I mentioned it was small, right?  We were on top of each other all of the time, but it worked for us.)  It served well for 9-1/2 years and it was home.  Would the brand new never-lived-in dwelling feel the same?

She won’t win any beauty contests, but she’s ours.  (Yes, still.  But we have a great renter!)

Well, flash-forward to now, and I’m happy to say that the new house is VERY quickly feeling like home.  I’m sure some of that is because I’m unpacking and setting out our familiar items, as well as adding new things that we have carefully chosen together.  But then something occurred to me…  I’ve mentioned that some friends invited us to live with them for what turned out to be 6 weeks until we could close on the new house.  Well, their house feels like home too.  And when I go to see my mom in New Jersey, I’m home.  Heck, I feel right at home when I’m at work, come to think of it.  What I’ve realized lately is that the settled in and settled down thing is a feeling created by people and our relationships with them.  I’m so very fortunate to have friends who will give me a home for 6 weeks, not just a place to crash.  Same thing when I go visit family.  It’s not their actual houses, it’s THEM.  And my new house…  That sucker has been so filled with the love energy of me, my husband, and my friends over the last 6 months as we micro-managed its construction, it was home before I was handed the keys.  I’m sure that will only intensify as I now live just yards from those ultra-mega-host friends, my mom arrives tomorrow for a visit and can’t wait to help us nest, and my handy husband has a list of want-to-not-have-to projects to complete for the house in his new workshop.  (Can you say giddy as a schoolgirl?  Holy moly.  And I’m talking about him and his table saw, not me.) 

Us in early February when our house was just an idea.  We called it our “patch of dirt” for a while.

And here it is as of this morning.           

 View from the deck–our dog Brody’s fave place.

What does this have to do with fitness and wellness?  For me, everything.  The house next to us is in-process.  The foundation has been poured.  We’re on a hillside looking into the woods.  Without proper construction, that place would be a goner after just a few of the monsoons we’ve been having daily.  Similarly, the rock solid base of my life that has been created by amazing people who love me allows me to feel at home just about everywhere I am.  That is so liberating.  And healthy!  Kas will flip, but I’d say my training has been cut by ½ or more the last few weeks, in lieu of work, house stuff, fatigue, injury, or just-plain-don’t-feel-like-it syndrome.  But what’s happened more frequently is sitdown family meals with our friends, as well as time to get to know them better.  After all, friends are the family you create for yourself, right?  I’m ready to tighten up the diet and rock some new training with renewed vigor in July and all.  But I wouldn’t trade the last 6 weeks for anything because there is NO question in my mind that our friends have our backs 100%.  The feeling is mutual.  That too, is health-promoting.   

Not only is my friend Deidre cute (and you should see her hubba-hubba hubs too!), but she’s an amazing cook and a keeper of knowledge about EVERYTHING!  My husband and I are so very grateful for them in our lives, there are no words…  Well, except these that I saw on a card: “Without humor, life sucks; Without courage, life is hard; Without love, life is hopeless; Without friends like you, life is impossible…”

So, in the immortal words of Mr. Luther Vandross: “A house is not a hoooommme…”. But, happily, mine is.  Pretty much wherever my healthy heart is, is home too.  I wish you the same. 

Happy Summer, Everyone!

Since I shared the first half of my craziness with you last week, I thought I would share how the remainder of the back-and-forth-to-Vermont went.  Wednesday after work, which was supposed to be 5pm but turned out to be 6:45, I left for VT and arrived around 9:15.  I got in, fed the cat and went to bed.  I was up and at em early Thursday, but not to workout.  I wanted to run or hike with the dog, who I couldn’t pick up from doggy daycare until 7am (I start working between 7:30 and 8 so before work was out of the question).  So instead I slept in a bit and picked Rosco up at 7.  Unfortunately, right after that I had to work.

(Despite having to work, how nice is the view from where I was sitting?  This is right outside our living room window)

Finally at 4:30 pm I was able to get up from the computer and head outside.  The weather was beautiful.  Our workout started with a hike on the trails which quickly turned into a run.  It only took us about 20 minutes to run some of our trails and I was nowhere near done with my card.  Thus, enter my madness.  Our driveway is 1/2 mile predominately uphill (and dirt).  I hadn’t picked up the mail, which is at the bottom of the driveway, so decided I’d run down, grab the mail, and walk/run back up.  (There is a short spurt of the driveway which is only moderately steep but more flat, so for that portion, we ran).  Let me tell you, it takes about 12 minutes to go down and back, with going back up taking the majority of the time and by the time I reached the top, I was full on panting.  After we got the mail I decided we needed another go at it.

(Part of the driveway, although picture taken from the car)

Rosco and I ran down and hiked back up the driveway twice more.  The poor dog was so confused.  Each time I turned to go back down, he looked at me like I was crazy.  But he couldn’t not come with me.  However, each time, he trailed further and further behind me.  I think he figured why rush.  But by the time I got to the bottom, he would sprint down to me in time for us to go right back up.  Needless to say, after that workout, we were both pooped!  After our cardio I got in a short stretch/yoga and we were done.

As you might recall, I got in two heavy lifts earlier in the week, so my plan was to get in a hybrid-lift done, while in VT.  Enter Friday.  I made plans to go on a short hike with my neighbor at 7 am and so I got up at 5:30 for my hybrid lift.  For this lift I did a mix between the workout I wrote about here and Heather’s workout she wrote about here.  I did two rounds of the workout I wrote, except that I did the two following cycles, separated by jumping-jacks and done stick-of-butter style:

• 5 Squat Jumps
• 5 Squat Thrusts
• 5 Burpees
• 5 Squats

And

• 5 Push-Ups
• 5 Wood-Chops (each side)
• 5 DB OH Press
• 5 Lat Pull Downs (we do have a lat pull down at home)

For the second round, I reversed the order of each set such that I did 4 sets of the lat pull down and only one of the push-up.  (If you are confused, definitely check out the post I referenced above as it will all become clear).

After those two rounds, I did Heather’s workout, minus the abs.  Thus I did 1 round of her workout, rested 120 seconds and did the second round.  Needless to say, that kicked my butt!  I then got in 20 minutes of stretching and was ready for my hike by 7 am.

Rosco and I then met my neighbor and went for a 40 minute hike, although it was nice and leisurely.  However, while we take a leisurely hike, the dog runs up and down and through the woods and back to meet us and off again, so he got in his exercise.  After all this I was home by 7:45 and showered and eating breakfast in front of the computer by 8.

Saturday rolled around and friends of mine came up for a hike on the Appalachian Trail.  I had forgotten that the direction we were taking was a steady incline the entire way.  Because of that incline, an hour into our hike, we were panting!  Thankfully I carried a backpack with a bowl and water for Rosco (and it was nice and convenient for my water bottle too).  When it was all said and done, we hiked for about two and a half hours.  By the time we got back, both the dog and I were ready for a nap!

Sunday was my last day up in VT.  I was planning on doing cardio on the elliptical and then taking the dog for a hike.  But that would have been such a cop out as it was beautiful out and I had no excuse not to get outside.  I have all my lifting planned for this week while in Boston, so Sunday would either be a plyo or sprinting day or only cardio/yoga.  That is when it dawned on me, why not sprint up the steepest part of the driveway and get in sprint work, follow it with 2 runs up and down the driveway, then take the dog for a hike….and that is what we did.  If you have ever heard Jodi talk about sprinting uphill and how good it is for your backside, you have probably already sprinted uphill and know how hard it is.  After 9 sprints, twice up and down the driveway, Rosco and I got on the trails to finish up with a 20 minute hike.  We then went inside and I did a quick yoga stretch for about 20 minutes.

(The end of my sprint – and I gotta say, this picture doesn’t do the steepness justice)

And there you have it.  I am now back in Boston ready for a full normal week.  But to be honest, I really miss having such an outdoor playground right next to me.  2 years ago I never would have been able to spend so much time away from the gym.  But I’ve learned how to be creative and get in some amazing workouts anywhere.  Oh, did I mention what running/jogging downhill does for your quads?  And all the uphill hiking and sprinting makes for beautiful hamstrings and glutes.  So the next vacation your take, or the next time you are way and can’t get to the gym; I hope you can be creative and enjoy yourself instead of stressing out that you are not getting in your planned/traditional workout!

As I’ve mentioned many times before, I workout in the morning.  I wake up somewhere between 4:50 and 5:30 and head over to the gym.  The number of times dictates when I actually get up, but if everything goes according to plan, I get up at 5 am.  I’ve been a morning-workout-person for the past 9 or 10 years (just figuring that out is crazy to me, I started morning training back in college).

 While morning workouts are my preference, there is usually one day per week that is either my rest day, and as such I don’t workout; or I just can’t get up, no matter how hard I try.  Well, last week did not go according to plan, at all!  Now that tax season is over, I actually have time after-work to have a life.  As a result, I can go to a yoga class or go back to the gym and do cardio.  This is a luxury I did not have Feb-Apr. 

 So last week went a little something like this; Monday my alarm went off, I rolled over and after hitting snooze 8 times, decided I was too exhausted to get up  – so I went to the gym after work.  Tuesday it took all my mental strength to get up, but I did, and I made it to the gym.  Wednesday, no matter what I wanted, there was no getting up.  The same for Thursday (and actually, by this point, I had given up on even trying).  And Friday was a moot point.  Granted I went to the gym after work, but it was not according to plan. 

 Thankfully by Wednesday I had given up and decided to just let this week be.  My body clearly wanted the extra sleep, and since I was able to get to the gym after work, no harm done.  Further, I knew I would start fresh this week and get back to it.  But without the foresight to let it go, I would have tortured myself all week about not getting up for the gym. 

 The body has this amazing ability of forcing us to listen to it when we are in need of things like sleep, rest, and recovery.  While all I needed was a few extra hours of sleep, there have been times when I needed to cease all activity and recover; and despite the fact that I didn’t want to, my body forced it. 

Twice now, once when training for the half marathon and once, a few years later when running with a friend, my body just flat out said stop.  Most of the time I will push through most workout fatigue/pain/suffering and I was trying to do so on both these occasions.  I had mentally turned off the little voice telling me I needed to stop.  Yet, all of a sudden, unconsciously, I just stopped.  The first time it happened I was completely shocked, it was not a conscious decision and after, there was nothing I could to do to get running again.  The same thing happened the second time and I was no less surprised that my body just stopped. 

 I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but it is the body saying “you need to knock it off, and since you aren’t listening, I’m taking over.”  If this hasn’t happened to you during a run/sprint/cardio bout, maybe it has during a lift.  Have you ever been on a roll, lifting like a psycho, making amazing gains; and then all of a sudden – bam – you’ve got nothing and no matter how hard you try, you are not lifting anything else.  It is wild.

 Well, as I get older (and hopefully wiser) I have learned to listen and to be thankful that I have such a wise body that takes control when I’m acting a fool.  For those of you who might not have listened, I wonder soon thereafter an injury popped up?  If you are nursing an injury or remember an injury, what were you doing the months prior to the injury?  Were you training like a psycho and not resting?  Training for a race but also drinking with your buddies at night?  Pushing yourself physically and not eating to support that effort?  I bet you were.  And I bet you can pinpoint the time your body told you to stop or even forced you to stop; yet you didn’t heed the warning.  Even if you took the day off, you went right back to it, without making any modification for the thing your body was trying to tell you (more food/rest) and soon thereafter got injured. 

 If this is you, and the light bulb just went on, try to remember this the next time your body is trying to tell you something.  I know that I certainly am trying, although I know it is easier said than done.  And that is why, last week, I decided to give in to needing extra sleep.  It wasn’t like my body was telling me I needed a week off from training, just that I needed to sleep in – a much easier pill to swallow than having to sit out an entire season/miss the race/take a long hiatus. 

So, I challenge all of you to think back to a time you didn’t listen.  Take stock of the outcome.  And try to be more perceptive the next time it happens.

I’ve written before about the things that annoy me in the gym.  While I can be funny, I don’t always come across that way in writing.  However, I have a very good friend who also has a plethora of gym annoyances and he is hilarious.

I’ve known Norman since college and while he still lives in Philly, we still text and email all the time, much of which is about gym annoyances.  Thus, I thought I’d share a few with you, to see if any of these antics go on in your gym.

I have to fist, however, set the tone.  Imagine that randomly on a Saturday morning or a Wednesday evening after work a random text message appears on your phone.  I get these quite often and it never ceases to amaze me that I come across the same people in my gym.

Text Message: Gym annoyance, people who think their workout logs need a bench.

Text Message: Hey, lets do one set (using way to heavy weights leading to bad form) then walk around like a badass for 5 minutes before your next set.

Text Message: (Disclaimer ,thankfully this has never happened to me as I don’t frequent the men’s locker room) Turning into locker room, see guy butt arse naked bending over, putting in his contacts….really?  How about putting on a towel or using the bathroom.  (I responded with “are you scared for life”) Then the response back was: so pale, so white, the horror.

Text Message: Gym annoyance #264: “Cell phones” (specifically texters)..Do you really NEED to have a convo via text between each set?

Text Message: I am such a gym loser…all my shirts have sleeves.

Now I say that I get these random text messages, but I also send them.  For example, today I wrote about the guy who HAD to squeeze into the already crowded stretching area with a stability ball and two dumbbells.  He then proceeded to kneel on the stability ball and do side raises.  I am not quite sure this image needs further explanation

Other times gym annoyances are set out in e-mails that go a little something like this:

Email 1: Imagine if you will…

Barbell Rack, someone inside holding a barbell, someone outside holding someone’s feet, as the third person does pushups from the top “level” with his hands on the barbell and feet held by the outsider.

If you need two people and a machine to do an exercise, maybe you should just find something else to take care of whatever muscle you are working on.

(I read this and literally had no words.  I forwarded this one to Heather I was so amused.  And she even said she couldn’t quite figure out what was gong on there).

Email 2: Dear Bally’s

I understand that in order to make money, you need to have your clientele invest in personal training sessions.  As an American who supports capitalism I fully agree you need to do what you need to do in order to make a profit.  Before last year, there wasn’t a designated “training area” for your personal trainers to work and they were forced to work among the rest of the people in the gym.  Then, you decided to move some free weights into another less crowded area to have a “place to call your own”; I can understand and have no problem with this.  Last month, you decided to clear out 8 elliptical machines on the second floor so you could have even more space to train your clients, while this further added to the queue and aggravation of those who use cardio (more people than machines), once again, I had no problem.  So with all this room you would figure to have more than enough space to do your own workout without interfering with the rest of us.  Ahh..not so fast, for some reason, your trainers decide to use the bottom of weight racks to hold down the clients feet while they are doing the latest mens/womens health exercise of the month.  Thus inconveniencing everyone in the gym who wants to, dare I say, “work out” and use a free weight or a bar bell.  I know you are “Bally’s” but you are a gym, could you even try to care about those not wasting $300 a month to get personal trainers?  Jesh, we swipe our own cards now since the people at the desk are too “busy” texting or chatting away. Just let me work out in peace.

Thanks

(This one is SO on point for my gym.  We have a “trainer” designated area yet they insist on taking up space in the rest of the gym)

Email 3: gym annoyance #263:  Not only did I see a guy sit on the incline chest press and proceed to spend the next 30 minutes talking/texting on his phone (I watched it out of annoyance), but I also saw some not so in shape chick (wearing new fancy shoes, spandex tights, etc) spend 5 minutes stretching, 5 minutes messing around with her ipod, and another 5 minutes texting away ALL WHILE STANDING ON A NON MOVING TREADMILL.  Unf. I couldn’t see if she actually did anything since my 15 minutes of elliptical madness were over and I was out

(I think every gym has a few of these)

I don’t know about you, but I thoroughly enjoy these emails and texts.  Not only because they are hilarious but because they are SO dead on point with what goes on in my gym.   Which leads me to ask, does any of this go on in your gym?

In the past few months, I have been so busy that I have not been able to make it to a yoga class.  I have been practicing yoga (in some way or another) for 9 or 10 years now.  When I started, I took class two times per week and never missed a class.  As my practice progressed I moved from one style to another until I got to the point that I was done with classes and only took private lessons.  That continued for a few years until I moved away from classes and teacher lead practices all together. 

 I never stopped practicing yoga on my own, but my time away was occupied with other activities that precluded me from getting to class.  (That is a really nice way of saying that yoga class was not my top priority because we all know that if it was a top priority, I would have made it happen).  Nonetheless, I only practiced on my own.  I would hit up a class every now and again, or go through a 4-6 week jaunt where I got into a more regular schedule, but nothing more than that. 

 I then, more recently, got back to wanting to make it to class once/week, but when tax season hit, I didn’t have the time.  Well, now I do – and I realized I was nervous; nervous that in my time-off, I would have lost some of my flexibility and core strength. 

 If you don’t live in a city with a plethora of yoga studios and amazing yoga teachers, then you are missing out.  Boston is a yoga haven.  The teachers are exceptionally good and because of that, the student’s skill is unmatched.  As a result, my two teachers teach classes that on any given day will challenge me, provided I am up for the challenge.  (That is the other amazing thing about yoga, you can make any pose less or more strenuous).

 This past Saturday I made the decision to get my butt to class – Todd’s class that is.  Todd is an amazing yoga teacher who teaches an advanced class.  The class not only incorporates quite a few advanced poses but is physically demanding.  However, I wanted a rigorous class – and Todd did not disappoint.  I had an amazing class and what was even more exciting is that I moved into a pose I had never been able to master.  Eka Pada Sirsasana (I think) – foot behind the head in a forward fold.  (I must admit, my pose did not look quite as graceful, but I am almost there).

 While there are still plenty of poses I want to master, this small achievement really got me thinking: I’ve been focusing on other athletic things yet when I got back to a class, was able to make an advancement.  

But the fact remains, I had taken my focus off of yoga.  Yes, I still practiced on my own (20 or so minutes a day after I’d workout), but I was not trying to improve.  Actually, I was using yoga for mental sanity and for flexibility and joint/muscle health, and nothing else.  But when I got back to it, I was right where I left off and ready to move forward.  As a result, while my focus was elsewhere, by not foregoing yoga altogether due to the fact that I couldn’t give it my full attention, I was able to maintain and prime myself to improve.  (How often do we give up on something all together because we cannot give it our full intention?  Boy am I glad that I did not fall prey to that line of thinking this time, like I have done so many other time.)

 Interestingly enough, I just went through this same experience with lifting.  As I’ve mentioned, I streamlined my training over the past few months.  My lifts have been full body lifts that incorporate plyometrics and agility with the goal of sucking wind and elevating my heart-rate without compromising the integrity of my lift.  Prior to this, one of my focuses was to increase shoulder strength.  However, I knew that any strength gain focus had to take a back seat when my program changed.

 To my pleasant surprise, when all was said and done, my shoulder strength did increase.  I lay the groundwork in Nov/Dec by increasing my weights in a typical strength building workout format.  However, during my recent training, I either maintained that weight or only slightly decreased it (remember when doing a metabolically taxing full body lift filled with plyos, the weight you use in an overhead press half way through the workout is not going to mirror that which you would use for straight sets).  My intent was to lift to my fullest potential, while maintaining good form, and that clearly did the trick. 

 The other day, as I was setting up some crazy giant set, it dawned on me that the weight I was overhead pressing for 10 reps was that which, in December, I could barely eek out for 10 reps while doing straight sets with plenty of rest. 

 In the end of the day, while we cannot always focus on everything all the time, that does not mean we will lose that for which we have worked so hard.  And while I would tell, and have told, clients/friends/anyone else this is true; I’ve always found it a hard concept to believe applies to me.  And so I imagine you might find this concept difficult to grasp as well. 

 While I don’t think an Olympic or even Pro-athlete can rest his/her laurels on this concept, I think the majority of the world can.  You cannot focus on everything all the time (whereas the Olympian/Pro is paid to do so); there are times when things you really love have to take a back seat.  But, that does not mean all is lost.  Maintenance is a very real and attainable option. While I had not purposefully set up a plan to maintain my flexibility, I had set up a plan for my shoulder strength.  I made sure I lifted with integrity every single time; perfect form and to failure; which paid off.  On the yoga side, my daily routine has become second nature to me, so in retrospect, I should not be surprised with Saturday’s new pose.  And while the point of my post was not to plug Jodiojo and Company, I will say that we do put together some amazing maintenance programs to help get you through those murky times when something else has to take center stage.  So regardless of what has to take a front seat in your life, there is always a way to maintain and possibly keep improving.

Every so often I get the urge to let y’alls into my bizarre mind. Knowing it is a scary and dangerous place to be, I try not to venture there but sometimes I just feel compelled. Today is one of those days—and I promise I’ll keep it brief because this is not what my post is about. But I had to tell you this because it explains why when you work with us and you have to speak with me every week, I pick up on things you think I have no idea about and then I call you on it.

I have a small obsession with pens. Yes, pens…and journals and notebooks but for this story only the pens matter. In my office, on my desk is a myriad of pens. All kinds of pens of every manner BUT…they all are part of a complete set. In other words, I won’t buy a single pen. I won’t open a pack of pens and only know where 2 of them are. I won’t lose the cap to a pen. I won’t let the pen separate from the notebook it’s been assigned to. Are you nervous yet b/c it gets more bizarre than this. So on my desk are “sets” of pens. There must be at least 8 or 9 sets open, laid out flat, in order of the way they were in the pack and etc. Some still in the pack if it had some kind of special plastic wrapper or something. SAD. Who’s feelin’ this with me?

The other day I sit in my office to get some work done and something’s wrong. Not quite sure what it is but I sense something’s not right. I start to look around my office like a deer in the forest that smells trouble but nothing’s jumping out at me. All of a sudden I realize a pen is missing from one of the sets (mind you, there’s at least 8 sets on my desk in various locations.) I look all over my office: under my desk, under my books on my desk, in the pen cups (this is where the dead sets go) that are on my desk but I can’t find the purple one from my ballpoint pens. I find nothing. I suspect my kids since their desks are right outside my office but I honestly think to myself, “They know better.” I start searching any ways and I realize my husband is watching TV downstairs. He looks at me like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar and I see him…and then past him…and there is my pen. And he realizes that I see him…and then the pen and this is all within 3 seconds of each other—like this secret meeting of the pen people or something and he says in a super incredulous voice, “Did you just come out of your office to look for this pen?” My face at this point is silently screaming, “Oh no you didn’t”…alongside, “You better put that back when you’re done.” And he starts this loud rant of, “I cannot believe with the 1800 pens you have on your desk in all the little piles, that you could figure out that one of them was missing. You can look for your car keys every day because you have no idea where you put them, but you mean to tell me you knew one pen was missing?” Um…yeah. Just keep this story in mind when I call you ladies on something and you are hoping I didn’t notice. Haha!

This week I want to know one thing from everyone: why, as women, are we so cruel to other women?

First, let me preface this question by saying that I do not mean cruel in the sense of hurting each other’s feelings. That’s a different blog post for a different blog somewhere on the internet. I am asking this in the context of food and exercise.

If I am on a diet, my friends are on a diet—or I am going to nag them any time they do something enjoyable.

If I am not on a diet and my friends are, I am going to get them to go down hard with me as I order dessert at a restaurant.

If I am tired and don’t want to work out, I am going to convince them to come to the mall with me and skip their work out by nagging them into next week.

Basically, misery loves company. Why do we do this? Why are we not rah-rah-shish-coom-bah’ing them to keep up the good fight of faith while we languish on the sidelines?

The other day I walked into a favorite store of mine. I go there often so they know who I am—not to mention I’m hard to miss. I am a big personality, I am incredibly happy and I love to spread love. So when I go in there, I am like Norm from Cheers.

This particular day I was the only one in the store so as I walked in and headed toward the counter, I began to speak right away. “Hey girl, how are you? I haven’t seen you—“ I suddenly cut my sentence short because I noticed a box of chocolate brickle type candy to my right and I scream—literally, “Oh my goodness who brought this in here and what are you trying to do to me?!” I mean scream—did I mention I am loud? And she laughs (probably out of both amusement and fear because there’s a big afro coming at her in 3d and it is being preceded by a big mouth) and motions for me to have some and says something to the tune of, “Don’t leave me here to eat this all by myself.”

WOW. How can she do me like that? I’m a good customer. I pay my bill on time. I give them great business. And on the counter is 45 min on an arc trainer, 2 weeks of dieting and an increase in my dress size all packed in this little white box. A decision needs to be made here: do I go down hard or do I stick to my guns. Here’s my thought process…

It’s just a small piece. What’s the big deal?
You don’t need it. Nor did you work it into this week. It will make you want more.
I would tell a client to live a little and have it. Life is too short and calorically it’s negligible.
You just had a post about what not to have as a cheat meal—don’t be a jackass.
I love chocolate/caramel/heath bar crunch kind of brickle. Satan dropped this off 2 min before I arrived. Rat bastard.
You can get this anywhere, at any time, knock it off.
Wait…is that peanut brittle under there?

Who understands that all of that conversation shot through my head in less than 2 seconds while I was still being a big head of uncontrollable hair in her store? HOLY MOLY! My simple plea is this ladies:

We must support the cause. We need solidarity. Just say no to samples of candy given by honest, hard working store clerks.

These intermittent attempts to bring each other down are just so unfair and exhausting. I promise I won’t do this to you, why must you do it to me? Of course I am being dramatic—that’s my M.O. but there is a spirit of truth here. On one hand we need to learn moderation and have a treat here and there, on the other hand we need to keep that kind of stuff to ourselves and give big afro’d women a break from time to time. KWIM??

In all seriousness the big take away here is know your limits. Have it if you know you can shut it down—don’t if you know it’s going to mess you up for the week. But calorically, a piece is not going to do any harm so please do not let that be the reason why you say no.

I will be spending today putting the rest of the finishing touches on the new website coming for Trans4mation Station. If you have the answer to this problem, would you mind putting it below? Somebody shed some light on this conspiracy, please! Slinking off to my office…defeated…because that was peanut brittle under there…yum…but hopeful…because of full knowledge of where all my pens are…hehe…woop woop!