…if so, you could be in trouble…

I am a true offensive driver (read that as off-fensive, not oh-fensive,lol). I know where I want to go, I take the shortest route to get there, I drive over anybody in my way I do not lally gag while driving, I know the rules of the road and I exercise common sense. Now it bears mentioning that this has been since I am older because when I was younger, the world was my NASCAR testing ground and it wasn’t pretty. But I can say that my dieting reflects my driving experience: I was a jackass dieter when I first started out and wisdom and total failure common sense have tempered my spirit. My question to you is, how closely does your driving reflect your dieting?

Turning left to go right. What is this? Unless you are driving a Duck Tour bus you need to get over yourself and stop thinking you have a 36” diameter steering wheel with passengers in the back. Take the turn for Heaven’s sake!

Dieting: Starting on Monday, Tuesday, next day…whatever. We have all done this one at least once in our lives. Some of us just did it this past weekend. “I’ll start again on Monday. In the mean time, I’ll behave like a Survivor at a buffet from Thursday to Sunday and hope no one notices the 5 pound gain.” Going up 5 to lose 7 is exhausting. Reign this one in.

Not knowing how to properly yield. I don’t understand this one. It’s a yield sign, not a stop sign. If there is no one there, you slow down and keep going–you do not stop. If there is someone there, you do not bomb through and drive over them and act like they were in the wrong by slamming on your brakes after you cut them off or tailing them for a half mile with your high beams on. It’s called YIELD.

Dieting: It’s a cheat meal not a cheat day, cheat week, birthday week, splurge, endless vacation or what have you. It should be a meal. Eating a full meal *while* making your plate is a sure fire sign that things are going downhill fast. With that being said, are you too conservative? Are your cheats things like smelling the food at the bakery across the street or licking the spoon after someone has ice cream in the house? Come on now, you have to have something that makes you feel good and you may have it more than once a week. Call it whatever you want, just use some common sense and YIELD to the desire but not overindulge or undercut your meal.

“Deer caught in a headlight” with cones/cops/cars on side of road: You get the point here. You’re driving down the highway at a good clip and the car in front of you slams on his brakes and drops 20 mph in less than 2 seconds. You’re thinking there must be a corpse in the road b/c why else would someone defy the laws of inertia in such a careless manner. Nope. Cop on the side of the road, has someone pulled over. Umm…ok. He’s busy. What do you think you’re a better ticket so he’s going to drop what he’s doing, hop in the car and go flying after you? Use some common sense folks. That’s actually a great time to practice slalom training or test out the acceleration in your 300 hp vehicle—not anger the 8 cars behind you that are now fishing their hearts out of their throats because they just saw their lives flash in front of them. If you see lights on the side of the road, exercise caution but no knee jerk reactions lest you kill someone behind you.

Dieting: You’re on fire and making progress. Your clothes fit better, people are complimenting you left and right, Maybelline just asked you to be their spokes person for their mascara, it’s on right now. Then you step on the scale and you have only lost 2 pounds in 4 weeks. Suddenly, everything stops. All your progress seems for naught. Now you feel fat, you remember you have been bloated, you may be in a plateau, oh the drama. No, you are letting a box dictate your life/results. There is more to dieting than the scale and you most likely lost bodyfat during that time and it does not show up on the scale the way you would like it to. Stop stressing everyone out, you are progressing, keep your eyes on the prize, get off the brakes.

Mismanaging four way stops and rotaries: Oh boy. This is a tough one and can be incredibly painful to watch. If you do not understand the basics of a four way stop (one direction goes, then the other) or the complexities of a rotary (the people inside have the right of way), stay home because there is always somebody out there like me who is ready to pounce on you. It’s an ugly scene all around and when you have folks coming at you from every direction, it’s really easy to become a piece of blubbering jello in the middle of the intersection.

Dieting: Leaving the house unprepared with food thinking that you can make it up as you go along. Oh boy. At the first sign of trouble you are going down fast. If you think you can survive a drive through making healthy choices or hold out until you find something healthy, think again. Once you’re in the middle of it, you are going to panic and make a wrong choice. Know where you are going and what you’ll need before you go and you will have a much better experience while dieting.

So here’s your homework. Do you do any of these things? Either dieting or driving for that matter, fix it now. These are setbacks on the road to your goals. And at the very least, they add at least 10 min. on average to your commute each day. Regardless, get it together and get more on the ball, will ya? We have some goals to meet this year.

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Well kinda.

You see this blog is my passion. It is my place of fun. A place where I get to hang out and do my thang and I don’t have to worry about life, my kids, the dishes and etc. I just sit down and start to talk about what’s going on in the world of looking good naked. But this means when something big comes along—not just busy-ness because I am always busy—this will take the hit. That time has come and has been the last two weeks—hence the one time per week posting. So let’s talk about that for a second.

When I say I am going underground, I mean that I will be doing two things:

Sending my posts out as blog blasts and
Putting my premium content in a blog blast

Blog blasts make your life easier because instead of visiting my blog everyday in hopes that I have posted, I send it straight to your inbox so you have it before anybody else does. You do not have to sign up for this but I highly recommend that you do because I will no longer post ‘series’ in my blog, I will only send them out as a blast. Now I know what you’re thinking and I’m going to stop you right there. This is not a ploy to get you to sign up to sell you stuff. I have nothing to sell on this blog, remember, it’s my personal haven. If you sign up (or you are already signed up b/c there are a lot of you who are) you will only receive quality content each and every post. If there is something that I am supporting, you will hear about it in the blast only AFTER I have done something for you first with content and it won’t be spammy. I think that is only fair. However, I am not set up to sell anything so no worries there and if and when I do, I’ll give you heads up.

But I have been schooled to the ways of the blogosphere and have found out about bloggers who somehow troll the web and take content off of your site and push it as their own. I do not know the exact mechanism of this but it has to do with links and trackbacks and things that Google can trace and all kinds of wizardry like that that goes way over my head (honestly, gave me a headache when they tried to explain it to me). I do not want to stop giving out quality content so all programming is going to a blast only whereas my articles are open to the public. BTW, programming refers to series that I will do like ‘how to diet for vacations’ and ‘what to do to prepare for a reunion’ and etc. I also want to give back to those who have been with this blog for the short time it has been in existence. I truly appreciate your support (and wonderful emails) and cannot wait til you see all that I have in store for you for 2010.

Now as for what has been taking all my time… my site has finally launched. It is www.modelper4mance.com. It is a blog and website all in one and it is for athletes (from recreational to elite) who want to become more competitive in their sport through sound nutrition and training principles. Tell your friends and family to come check it out. We cover the athlete as a whole, not just their nutrition for their sport, so we talk about everything. There is so much we are going to cover there that it is crazy. There will be athlete spotlights, contests, health issue articles, training articles and etc. All info is presented in a funny, lighthearted way—you know, what you’re used to!—and will be presented 5 days a week on the blog. You are more than welcome to come hang out with us, just know that the focus is different than this blog so what is said there by me may not always translate the same as to what I say here. They’re not trying to look good naked.

Check it out and let me know what you think about it. I am looking for any and all feedback you may have (and thank you to so many of you who have shared your opinions thus far, as well) so feel free to email me at Jodi@modelper4mance.com and tell me what you’re thinking.

Lastly, Jodiojo is getting a bit of a facelift. Not sure of how much but she’ll be getting her ‘hair did’ soon.;) Might be minor changes or a whole theme change, not sure, but it’s time to raise the bar a bit on my baby. She’s a lovely blog, so I am going to give her some attention. Stay tuned while she’s under construction. It won’t be long, though, because she’s kinda hot as is.

So that’s it in a nutshell. Again, thank you for keeping up with my daily escapades and get ready for a content-filled 2010! Woop woop!:o)

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I am a pen fanatic. 

Actually, I am a pen, journal, notebook, audio book, make up and fitness fanatic.  But for right now I’ll just focus on the pens.

Not only am I a pen fanatic, but I am a ‘complete set’ pen fanatic.  So if I find a pen missing from the set of 8, I give the set to my kids and move on to the next set.  Yes, disturbing I know.  Disturbing enough that you are sitting there thinking, “umm..where are you going with this?” 

Well this morning I found a highlighter on my daughter’s desk that was part of a gorgeous set I had.  She essentially mangled it.  I will eventually get over it (after years of therapy, a mini public rant followed by a book deal and a bad reality series off shoot about the incident that doesn’t go anywhere) but it got me t’thinkin’:

Don’t you just hate it when…

            You have a favorite treadmill/elliptical/gauntlet etc. and someone is on it when you get to the gym.

            There is no one else in the gym and someone has to get on the machine right next to you—then turn up the tv!

            Your favorite class instructor is out and you were really looking forward to her class.

            Your gym changes its hours—and you didn’t remember. Boy it’s cold in the morning.

            You are ready to get-it-together-and-start-again-on-Monday-type-deal and you wake up (fill in the blank here: late,     sick, cranky, with a headache, sore, tired, somewhere unknown—sorry, that’s another post).

            Starbucks/Dunks runs out of your favorite coffee flavor or someone makes your coffee all wrong.

            You get to the gym and realize you forgot your sneakers.

            Your gym stops towel service—and didn’t tell you.

            For some reason, everyone is in the shower today and you have an 8am meeting.

            You forget your shampoo—and you realize in the shower.

            You are on a pee marathon (no idea why) and you cannot get anything done in your workout.

            You suddenly hate your playlist.

All of these only occur on Mondays.  It seems as if it happens no other day.  Then you spend the rest of the week using them as the ‘omen’ for your workouts and diet progress saying to yourself…

I would have lost those 2 pounds if:

            My favorite lunch place didn’t run out of chicken at the salad bar (you hate their tuna).

            I didn’t leave my lunch on the table when I was late this morning (see above).

            I liked the substitute instructor who taught for my favorite instructor (see above).

            My Monday wasn’t a total wash (see above).

            I paid attention to the new gym changes.

I could go on for days. 

Finding a way to get past these things makes us who we are or defines us as to who we are not.  You know it’s the holidays and these pitfalls are just lurking around every corner so be aware and be diligent. Do not let them get you down or define the rest of your week.  Mondays are just that, they’re Mondays.  They have nothing to do with Tuesdays, Wednesdays and etc.  So stay focused and stay healthy.

Do you have your most dreaded “I hate it when”?  Or a good gym-story-gone-bad?  Let us know so we can all share in your pain and laughter (and learn how to get around it too). WOOP WOOP!:o)

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In harmony with Thanksgiving and Tweetsgiving, I am sharing what I am grateful for this year and honestly, the past 15 years.  I am grateful for my girlfriend Kristen.

To be honest, I am grateful for so many things this year that I wouldn’t even know where to start.  From my husband and our dedication to each other (22 years this Feb!), to my children and their innocence (my 4yo: “when’s thanks for giving?”), to my family and friends who have done so much for me in the way of a call, a kind word or a favor, there are so many people, things and circumstances I am grateful for this year that I didn’t think that I could narrow it down to one.  But I did and her name is Kris.

I have known Kris now for 15 years and she means more to me than I ever realized.  So many people will come and go in your life—and that’s not always a bad thing.  But when they come and they stay and stay for so long, you might have a tendency to take them for granted.  They become like family.  Part of the furniture.  And I don’t ever want that to happen with her.  Ever.

Kris has a heart of gold but isn’t the warm and fuzzy type.

She gives freely of herself and her time and does not ask for anything in return.

She is much more patient than she gives herself credit for.

She will listen whenever you call.

She is wise beyond her years.

And she is a dedicated True Believer.

Her passion for the Lord is obvious and her commitment to her Walk is tremendous.  I love her like I would a sister and I never want that to change.  I am thankful for someone like this in my life who has guided me as well as befriended me.  It is rare nowadays to find people you can bond with that you trust with your life—but I found one in her.  She is my daughter’s God mother and a true friend of my family and I just want to say, Thank You.

If you want to be a part or Tweetsgiving, send a tweet or put up a post and reference it.  You may also donate money toward their cause, as well.  I want to thank MizFit for making me hip to this.  I would not have known otherwise. 

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving and be safe while traveling.

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Not like the Exercise Slump post, this is different. I want to know, how do you weather the storm? How do you deal with organized chaos or do you not deal at all?

So where am I going with this? With age comes wisdom is the saying but I am not always sure of that. Sometimes I wouldn’t say it’s wisdom as much as it is recognizing patterns. Say we’re on a roll of working out and eating well and we’re in a really nice groove. Life begins to get hectic and we start to fall apart. At what point does your emergency broadcasting system kick in and tell you to kick it into plan B? And if it doesn’t kick in, why not?

When I am stressed or distracted, the first thing that goes with me is food. I would rather not eat when harried than eat. Back in the day, I would allow that to happen. I would feed into it (for the lack of a better word;) and go for long periods of time before I would eat. The bad thing about that is my cortisol levels are shooting through the roof, my blood sugar is as crazy as NYC at rush hour and my thinking becomes impaired because I lack the glucose to have a coherent thought. What ensues after this is a downward spiral of what I refer to as organized chaos. I call it that because it always unfolds the same way, it has a predictable outcome but yet it wreaks havoc on my life for as long as I allow it to. Not anymore, though. Now I see the storm brewing on the horizon and I have a contingency plan in place to keep things from getting out of control.

First, I have a series of yummy meals in my freezer that are ready to go at any time. So the minute I start thinking that I don’t want to eat because “there’s nothing to eat” (my famous line when I am stressed and avoiding food), I know that that is bull. Next, I save parts of my workouts for my time with my clients. This forces me to workout with them and it keeps me in the exercise loop. Doing this primes me for my own personal workouts later in the day. Lastly, I openly recognize that this is going down. I don’t avoid it or start saying cute sounding platitudes, I literally acknowledge it, talk to it, talk about it, whatever—but I honestly take the time to point out to myself that it could get ugly.

So my question to you is, what do you do to weather the storm? Or, how do you recognize the storm is on the horizon? What makes your emergency backup system go into effect and what do you do when it does? I am hoping we can help those who do not have one in place right now or do not realize that they can have one in place thereby keeping the organized chaos to a minimum.

Hit me up and let me know what you do…:o)

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Ok…so it’s national “I-need-to-get-some-stuff-off-my-chest-week”.  From annoying time changes/cold weather to just as annoying fitness gurus, I clearly have some repressed issues that need to surface.  In comes my recent gym experiences. 

I love my time of the day to work out.  It’s my time.  No one else’s.  So, my kids…they have to wait.  My husband…he’s number 2 at that time of day.  There’s not much that gets in the way of my workout once it’s decided upon and planned…until I get to the gym.  THEN, there is a TON of stuff that gets in the way.  Here are just a few:

1)       My Ipod:  I have sacrificed many a work out because I either forgot this at home, did not charge it or had an earplug malfunction.  I cannot even imagine cutting through the gym to the bathroom without my ipod never mind doing a full cardio workout without it.  In fact, doing cardio without music is like shaving your legs with a butter knife.  Sounds plausible but who would ever try it?

2)       A hat:  Hats are vital items in the gym.  Nothing speaks of “get out of my way, I am on a mission” more than a hat.  You can avoid ALL unnecessary eye contact, ANY thought of human contact and even seeing or noticing friends if you want to be that cut throat.  They MUST be standard issue baseball hats that fit down to your eyebrows easily and comfortably.  You know you have a good one when you walk into a piece of cardio because you just didn’t see it at first.  Hats can prevent awkward moments with other gym goers who want to share too much information in between sets or keep you from having to acknowledge the lurker on your left who wants to cut in while you’re working out.  Hats are a must.  The only thing more effective is a shirt that you are wearing that smells like 2 day old laundry.  There’s another keeper right there!

3)       Water:  Yes, hydration is important and keeping up on your water while working out is essential.  Being dehydrated can be the difference between a great workout or an ok workout.  But that’s not what makes water an irreplaceable item in the gym.  No, water’s importance is much like that of the hat:  it’s a great distraction!  Someone asking you something that you know you don’t want to be a part of?  Drop your hat and take a swig while walking with a purpose.  You’ll look so involved, no one will think twice about it.  Get this timing down, though.  If not, you’ll end up drooling on yourself and still have to talk to the person at the end.  Not cute.

4)       Gloves:  Now you may not be big on these but I am.  I have found these to be the handiest things ever.  For one, I don’t have to come in contact with the equipment.  Nowadays, I feel like I could catch a bad case of the hoolie goolies if I touched just the right thing in the gym.  I actually look forward to the Swine Flu b/c they at least know what that is.  I would be the sad sap who gets something that would provoke a 90 min. special from Dr. Sanjay Gupta of CNN so much so that my hands would turn a funny color and itch or something.  Who knows!  So gloves are great for keeping that from happening.  But they are also great for looking important.  You ever just want to raise your gym status for kicks and giggles?  Throw on some gloves and do some outrageous exercise while making some good grunting noises.  You’ll immediately pick up some fans.  However, if you have #2 on and #3 in your hand, you’ll never know so just take solace in knowing that they are there.

5)       Gym widget/pass:  this is the little gadget that gets you into the gym.  You need to have this.  If you do not know why, forget it one time.  Depending on the gym you go to, you may be mistaken for a convict and they may do a cavity search of you at the front desk.  It totally depends on the staff that day.  You could also luck out and get the chick who doesn’t want to look up and acknowledge you so she lets you through with no issue.  You never know.  But why risk it?  Because if you are that unlucky to get the gatekeeper, it’s going to be a rough go until you get in.  There’s usually the cavity search followed by some face recognition software and then occasionally a bit of DNA match up with fingerprinting.  By this time, though, you’ve lost all patience and have put on your ipod, pulled your hat down, taken a swig of water and walked out without need of your gloves!  It’s a shame.

If you have your favorite item, do share.  I am not a towel girl or a journal girl so I did not include those.  But if you are, let me know—I’d love to know.  In the mean time, I’m going to get my stuff ready for the gym in the morning.  It’s time to be incognito again!:o)

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Before I delve into the annoying world of fitness, I need to laugh about how many folks were taken aback by my snow shoeing!haha  I promise that if I do it I will tell you all about it.  Yes, I know it is cold out there and yes, I know I hate the cold.  But I will give it a go all in the name of fitness and I will report back as soon as possible with details…hehe.

As for whatever you are doing in the gym right now—knock it off!

Honestly, if you troll around the web long enough and begin to read all the training articles out there, no matter what you are doing right now (and it could be the latest and greatest thing) you are doing it ALL wrong and you are awful just for breathing.  In fact, you are a fitness waste that is destined to spend the rest of your life behind the times in leotards and Richard Simmons shorts.  Why you got up this morning is beyond belief—give it up, you suck.

I have no idea how this is supposed to motivate me to want to try whatever it is that they are pushing but this seems to be the norm for so many fitness folk that I am almost wondering if it really is an effective way of marketing one’s self.  Maybe I will try it next week in a post.  I’ll tell you about the newest thing out there and how you are less than human because you don’t know how to do it and not only that, you are archaic because what you are doing is SUCH a waste of time (yes, because working out is silly—whatever) and why aren’t you more efficient and why haven’t you burned 700 cals in 10 min. and then *continued* to burn cals for at least another 20 hours while maximizing your potential to sell real estate to pigmies in Africa who are recovering the best unknown workout recovery secret…(pant, pant, pant).  When did fitness become this full of overbearing folks with heinous agendas? OY!

Here’s my deal…  Workout.  Now.  That’s it.  I don’t care what you do, just break a sweat.  If you decide that your cardio for the day is going to be laundry and you walk up and down 2 flights of stairs with a laundry basket about 8 times, so be it!  If you think shop lifting in Walmart is the way to go and then being chased through the parking lot by undercover cops for cardio is appealing, just wear a heart rate monitor—it’s all I ask.  Say you decide to live on the edge and go for something new so you take up swimming…indoors…in the fountain at the center of the Burlington Mall…and you find a lot of change…GOOD!  Buy some new workout gear with it!  I don’t care what you do as long as you do something!!

If you want to split hairs and talk about optimizing and etc, save that for when you’re feeling perfect.  There’s about 2 weeks out of the year when we feel that way.  The rest of the time we’re just trying to get it done and hope that nothing gets in our way lest we don’t make it to the gym that day.  YKWIM?  So I’m here to cut some slack for you folk out there who are feeling like you are not doing all that you can because you keep reading how you are doing it all wrong:  tell them to go blow it out their backside and start counting everything under the sun as a workout including yelling in traffic, pacing because you have to go to the bathroom and running out of time! 

Stand up for yourself and don’t get bullied by these crazy exercise folks!  Almost started feeling bad about myself because I worked out for an hour today…what a waste of my time.  I could have worked out for 7 min. and maintained a high EPOC for 23 hours and then dropped 10 pounds before breakfast!   Instead I chose to “make myself fatter” by doing a complex or 2 and finishing out with some cardio…SHEESH!  Who knew?

Whatever you choose to do, I am glad you are doing something!  Feel free to let us know about it if it is something unique.  Have fun!:o)

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The hardest thing about exercise is to start doing it. Once you are doing exercise regularly, the hardest thing is to stop it.

Erin Gray

Oh my goodness, is this not the truth!

Have you ever had a day long conversation with yourself as to why, when or how you are going to make it to the gym that day only to wear yourself out emotionally before you get there just talking about it so you don’t go? 

Have you ever determined that today was the day you were going to get back on the wagon and get it done and you pack a great lunch and put it in your gym bag to bring to work—and then leave it at the door?  Or better yet, your alarm didn’t go off.  Or you woke up sick.  Or you got called in early for work….

What is that about?  Is there some kind of Universal Sick Joke out there that just plagues us women with this stuff?  Guys do not go through this!  You know it and I know it.  Somehow they are impervious to wavering.  It’s either they are doing it or they are ok that they are not.  We, on the other hand, will begin a torturous rant in our head that starts out low and gets louder throughout the day like that bad music in Damien: The Omen that ends in a crescendo at night with us declaring war on the gym the next day.

When I am not “on”, my husband can wake up, work out in the cold basement, get the kids ready for school, make their lunches, change the oil in the car, re-finish the driveway and set up the Mid East for world peace talks and I haven’t even decided what gym pants I’m wearing that day—AND THEY’RE ALL BLACK!   What is that about?  What hit me over the head and took my mojo away?

And it happens fast doesn’t it?  One day we are on fire.  We are working out every day, packing our food, getting it together, losing inches, losing weight, losing time…just downright losing!  And then…it happens…who knows what it is—it’s as mysterious as ‘other natural flavors’, but it happens.  WHAMMO!  We can’t get out of bed, we can’t get a rhythm, we hate our food, we feel fat (we still weigh the same, though, go figure!)…what the????

OH THE JOYS AND PERILS OF BEING A WOMAN!!

How do we get back on track?  Become a psycho!

Oh we’ve all done it.  We may not admit it, but we have done it.  We’ve pulled out the big guns and we’ve made a pact with the evil exercise and diet spirits.  It goes a bit like this:

Conversation with yourself….

“What worked before?  Sigh.  What’s killing me now is I cannot focus.  How can I focus…?  No choice.  If I just eat chicken, sweet potato and green beans only for 7 to 10 days that’ll get me back on track! 

I gotta get to the gym.  Ugghhh!  I hate my workout right now. (Mind you it is brand new but this is what us women are plagued with).  I need something new and hard to give me a kick in the arse!  That’s it!  I will do a simulated Iron Man race everyday on the treadmill/bike/wave machine at the gym and then try advanced kettle bell training for martial artists to see if I can hang!  And then if I can make it through that, I’ll be good next week!”

I know I am not the only one.  In fact, not only am I not the only one, some of you are reading this thinking, “Hell, I would have taken it one step further and bought myself a gym bag, a matching outfit and a new lunch container just to seal the deal!”  Although, that does sound good!

So we put our psychosis into action, now what happens?

We become gym rats. 

Now 2 weeks later we have a 5 o’clock shadow, mussied hair and keen resolve that borders on scary.  Now we’re lecturing everybody!  Yes, looking down our nose at others wondering why they couldn’t seem to make the same illegal pact we did with the evil diet and exercise spirits and sell their soul to the green bean!  Are you too good for the green bean??  Woman, focus!  Hop on board with us and just get it over with…you know you want to do it! 

But now you have a new problem.  You are addicted…and you know—and I know—that if you stop, you’re done for.  So you keep going like a hamster in a wheel until someone says something to you that just clicks and gets you back to reality.  Sometimes it’s as simple as, “What the heck is the matter with you, you clown!  Get off the treadmill, it’s been 2 hours!”  Or, a loved one like a husband who taunts you with your weaknesses, “Oh we’re back on this now again.  How long is this going to last?”  That gets your head together because you can’t let him know he’s right and you’ve entered the ‘psycho zone’ so you begin to plan a sensible dismount to this insanity.  And you begin to get perspective.  And honestly, you’ve gotten over the hump so you are back to normal again of just working out and enjoying it.  You’ve also started seeing other veggies besides the green bean.  Good thing, too, you were feeling stifled by the relationship.

You can now enter normal civilization again having survived one of nature’s greatest mysteries:  the exercise slump.  Not sure what it is but there is no vaccination for it (thank goodness or NY would make it mandatory in gyms) and you have no idea when it’s going to strike.  Just know, we’ve all been there.

“Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.”

Grenville Kleiser

Enjoy your day and I hope I didn’t ruin it for anyone who brought chicken, sweet potato and green beans today!:o)

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Ok, honestly…that’s about as rhyme-y as you’re ever going to get me!haha  The only thing better than this would have been One Fish, Two fish, Red fish, Blue fish…man I loved that book!  Or Sam I Am, Green Eggs and Ham…or–I think you get my point…

Well it is time for us celebrate some food!  YUM!!!!!!!!!!  I have had the pleasure of meeting a fellow blogger whose blog I have been following and whose tweets I have been following as well but did not make the connection that they were the same person!  We connected the other day and low and behold, she had a recipe for mango salsa!!   WOOHOO!

Now you may not have known that I have been cheating on my husband with some mango salsa.  I did not intend for this illicit affair to happen—who does—but now it’s on!  I have since informed my husband that if he does not develop a zesty, flavorful personality that I would be replacing him by the end of this weekend!  He seemed to be unaffected by that…not looking good on this end.  I’ll keep you informed.;o)  So when I reached out to Joanna after reading her fun blog, I immediately asked her for a recipe for none other than…mango salsa!!  …And she had it!!!!! 

From Joanna:

Here is the mango salsa recipe I was telling you about. I hope you like it as much as I do!

Mango/Avocado Salsa

2   Fresh mangos peeled; seeded and chopped (I’ve used jarred mango with great success!)

2/3 Cup diced red pepper

2  Tbls chopped fresh cilantro

½  Cup minced red onion

2  T Seasoned Rice Wine Vinegar (If you prefer unseasoned, add 1 T to the recipe)

½  tsp salt

1  tsp ground pepper

1  T Olive Oil

1  Avocado

Mix all ingredients, except for avocado, together.  Chill.  Add avocado when ready to serve. 

Enjoy!

Now if you can believe this, I get an email on the same day from a ‘blast from the past’ client (who I miss tremendously btw)—whose name just happens to be Joanne!–who also had a recipe.  Hers is below…

Mango Salsa

From EatingWell:  May/June 2009, Fall 2004, The EatingWell Healthy in a Hurry Cookbook (2006), The EatingWell Diabetes Cookbook (2005)

The tropical flavors of this quick mango salsa complement chicken, pork or mild white fish.

4 servings, about 1/3 cup each | Active Time: 10 minutes | Total Time: 25 minutes

Ingredients

• 1 ripe mango, diced (1 1/2 cups)
• 1/4 cup finely chopped red onion
• 2 tablespoons lime juice
• 2 tablespoons rice vinegar
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh cilantro

Preparation

1.     Combine mango, onion, lime juice, vinegar and cilantro in a medium bowl. Let stand for 15 minutes; stir before serving.

Nutrition

Per serving : 46 Calories; 12 g Carbohydrates; 1 g Fiber; 2 mg Sodium; 121 mg Potassium

1 Carbohydrate Serving

Exchanges: 1 fruit

Tips & Notes

• Tip: To cut a mango:
• 1. Slice both ends off the mango, revealing the long, slender seed inside. Set the fruit upright on a work surface and remove the skin with a sharp knife.
• 2. With the seed perpendicular to you, slice the fruit from both sides of the seed, yielding two large pieces.
• 3. Turn the seed parallel to you and slice the two smaller pieces of fruit from each side.
• 4. Cut the fruit into the desired shape.

Holy moly it’s like I hit the jackpot!!  Now I can be double fisted here with two separate recipes!  Ummm…yum!!  This is absolutely fabulous with salmon!!  (Wait, is that a good fat? WOOP WOOP!)

Grilled Orange and Bourbon Salmon

Yield

4 servings

Ingredients

• 1/4  cup  bourbon
• 1/4  cup  fresh orange juice
• 1/4  cup  low-sodium soy sauce
• 1/4  cup  packed brown sugar
• 1/4  cup  chopped green onions
• 3  tablespoons  chopped fresh chives
• 2  tablespoons  fresh lemon juice
• 2  garlic cloves, chopped
• 4  (6-ounce) salmon fillets (about 1 inch thick)
• Cooking spray

Preparation

Combine first 8 ingredients in a large zip-top plastic bag, and add salmon to bag. Seal and marinate in refrigerator 1 1/2 hours, turning bag occasionally.

Prepare grill or broiler.

Remove salmon from bag, reserving marinade. Place salmon on a grill rack or broiler pan coated with cooking spray. Cook 6 minutes on each side or until fish flakes easily when tested with a fork, basting frequently with reserved marinade.

Nutritional Information

Calories:

365 (35% from fat)

Fat:

14.1g (sat 2.5g,mono 6.8g,poly 3.1g)

Protein:

36g

Carbohydrate:

18g

Cooking Light, JUNE 1999

Does that say bourbon?  Darn tootin’ it does!  Shut up and live life will ya! Haha!  Actually, you will cook off most of the alcohol and sugar when you grill this and you will be left with a very yummy entrée.

So what can we wash that down with?  How about a mango coconut shake?  I know I promised to post this because so many people hit me up asking for it, so here it is:

Mango Coconut Shake:

Must have….

1.5 scoops of Designer Whey Mango Whey Protein

1T of Coconut Oil (warmed in MW)

Then you can add any of the following:

½ cup pineapple juice

1 cup water

½ c mango

OR

½ cup coconut milk

1 cup water

¼ c mango

¼ c papaya

OR

If you are living on the edge and it’s just going down that day:

½  cup vanilla yogurt

½  cup unsweetened pineapple juice

¼  banana, sliced

½ c mango – peeled, seeded and chopped

¼ cup nonfat milk

2 tablespoons cream of coconutßyou mean business with this!;)

Ok, so if we don’t put the mango, coconut, pineapple industry in business this weekend, I’m not sure what can!  Enjoy these yummy treats and work them into your life however you may be able to!  If you got the Menu Planning blog blasts this week you know how to do this.  There is one more left so look out for it either today or tomorrow! 

In the mean time, enjoy life and live it to the fullest or you may miss out on the precious things of life:

My 3 year old has a little cold right now and when he has a cold he must be nebulized to keep his lungs open.  Well, of course, we run out of medicine for the nebulizer so we must go to the pharmacy to fill the prescription and a little certain somebody is too impatient to wait (Wonder where he gets that from? Whistling right now while looking at my feet.):

My son:  “I want to get my medicine.”

Me:  “It’s not ready yet, baby.  We have to wait.”

My son:  “Yes it is!  Eleven people are there and they’re real busy!” (holding up 3 fingers the whole time!)

How do you argue with that?  Bwahahaha!!  Have a good one today!!:o)

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Yo, if you didn’t know…it’s Friday!  WOOHOO!  I know you want to kick off your shoes, lay back and enjoy a restful weekend hanging out in front of the TV or maybe visiting friends somewhere—who knows?  Who cares?  It’s the weekend!  But for most people with some type of goal, whether it be weight loss, performance related or etc., the weekend represents a murky land of temptation and dread that starts out with the best of intentions but ends with you in a confessional spilling your guts out to the diet tracker gods.

Sound familiar?  “I could not wait to get home on Friday.  I was exhausted and just wanted to chill on the couch for a minute while I figured out what I was doing this weekend.  Since I planned my food for the whole day it was cool.  But Saturday, I was too tired to plan ahead and I figured I would just do it when I got up.  Of course I got up late because I was dead so I mapped out a route of good places to eat while I was on the run.  Well I ended up not going where I had planned and didn’t have any food on me so I tried to find a place to get a salad.  Now I am one meal short, starving and my girlfriend says she’s going to be late for lunch—can I wait?  I needed to get something so I grabbed a yogurt from SB with a coffee.  The day only went downhill from there.  So now, it’s Sunday and I will start anew tomorrow so I am not rushing to go food shopping today.  I will finish up the leftovers from yesterday’s romp and just call it a day.  I feel like I am always starting over…*sigh*.”

FOR THE GOAL ORIENTED DIETERS/PERFORMERS

Three things that kill your diet progress:

1.       Lack of Planning

If you enter the weekend without a plan, you might as well just skip all the silly formalities and just make the scale go up by 2 pounds right now.  Don’t even bother to eat the food.  Just gain the weight at your desk right now and save yourself some time of having to play the game above.  Let’s jump right to Monday where we begin trying to work it off for the rest of the week! haha 

Honestly, if you are goal oriented, there is no difference between Tuesday and Saturday or Monday and Sunday and etc.  You are obligated to treat those days with the same level of seriousness that you do on the weekday. 

Wake up early—not necessarily as early as M-F, but still early

Plan your food for the day like you would a weekday

Look up any restaurant possibilities and check out their menus

Don’t leave the house without knowing where you are going

If you are in play date Hell with kids (so sorry to hear), bring snacks with you JIC

2.       Lack of Focus

I am not sure what it is about the weekend that makes us lose our heads and throw all caution to the wind.  Is the freedom of time?  Is it childish rebellion?  I have no idea what it is but we can make some downright dumb @ss decisions simply because it is Saturday. 

I don’t care, I love cream cheese crab dip with muenster cheese and brie (I so made that up and it sounds nasty TBH).  I’ll be back on my diet tomorrow!

No you won’t.  You’ll be feeling so bad about eating that crap that you’ll be in mourning for at least 2 days.  I’m feeling some Southwest Egg Rolls, 2 slices of pizza and at least one cupcake following that mess!

I will go to the gym tomorrow.  I have too much to do today.  I’ll go after Church.

No you won’t.  First of all, you may possibly even miss church because you’re in a fat induced coma from the above meal.  Next, you feel like crap from the above mayhem so now you don’t even want to work out!  Let’s be honest here.  GO WHEN YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO.  The only time cancellations work in your favor is if it snows!  Any other time it just makes you feel bad thereby setting off a wave of bullcrap!

I will plan out my week this weekend then I’ll go food shopping…

No you won’t.  You will at work, though.  Plus wouldn’t you want to get paid to do that instead of doing it on precious weekend time?  What’s wrong with you?  Even if you could do that on the weekend—don’t!  That’s what meetings in work are for!  Planning your week!  Have I taught you nothing?

Be smart.  Begin positive reinforcement with yourself for the weekend on Thursday afternoon.  Have some great pep talks and keep the language going all weekend.  The minute you take your eyes off the prize amidst the temptations of the weekend, you are done for!  May the force be with you.

3.       Friendly Saboteurs

She’s your girl.  And you love her.  But she is as good for your diet as Madoff is for your retirement fund.  You need to keep her at arms length Friday through Sunday.  Maybe she’s hot already so what does she care.  Or maybe she’s not and what does she have to lose, who cares!  All that matters is that she comes with good times and 3 pounds every weekend!  Or how about the man?  Is he adding to the drama?  You’re googly eyed all weekend so you didn’t even notice the dress size he added on your behind when he wined and dined you and then left you for dead in front of the treadmill. 

Pick your friends wisely.  Are they going the same direction as you?  If you are drinking with them every weekend and then every Monday saying, “I just need to have more will power and say no.” you are fooling yourself.  That’s like buying a yummy cake and saying you’re only going to have one piece.  Umm…yeah right.  Or maybe you have the will of steel and can do that, but I guarantee you that you will be miserable every day that cake is in sight.  That’s when you find yourself at 2 in the morning on the floor of your kitchen eating that cake with no hands.  Now that’s a shame!  Denial feels worse than just abstaining.  See your friends that make you lose your “diet mind” once a month or so.  Do not make them an every weekend habit or you will never make your goal.

Have fun this weekend.  Stay safe and stay focused.  Monday starts a whole new adventure for us!  WOOP WOOP!:o)

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