I am losing my mind today.  Actually, this started sometime over the weekend and it’s spilling into Monday.  I loathe when I am like this and it is not very often, but still.  Right now, I have ants in my pants and I need to dance.  Yes, I know. You’re saying, “What the heck are you talking about?”  Only, you know what I’m talking about.  We all go through it at some time.

I have no idea what I am doing with myself.  I don’t mean career-wise—although that’s debatable—and I don’t mean with my family either seeing as they traded me in for a newer and better model.  I mean with myself workout-wise.  I’m in that dreaded place and you’ll know what I’m talking about in a minute when I describe it.  But I saw this coming slowly (as in the The Matrix kind of speed) and could do nothing about it.  And now it’s here.

I have ZERO focus.

This is not the same as “having nothing”.  This is better than that but not as good as “I’ve got sumthin”.  I have no desire to do what I am doing for workouts but I do want to workout.  And I have no desire to start something that requires a commitment, because that’s not where my head space is, so I’m not looking for the “newest and greatest” thing out right now.  This purgatory is the same as that annoying state that we enter when we want to go out to dinner with someone and for an hour or two you play the, “no really, wherever you want to go” game.  UGH!

I woke up and felt a blanket of “blah” come over me like an ugly quilt on a patterned couch.  It was terrible.  And stuff like this stinks.  In some form or another it sticks with you all day like an old mildew smell.  All day today I’ve been off my rhythm.  It’s like I’m 15 minutes late for everything even though I’m not.  If I’m not smart about this and begin to get this in check, I could start pulling out old stuff like a Billy Blanks Tae Boe original VHS tape and try and drum up some hoopla in my living room.  There’s nothing like sweating to some bad 70’s porn music playing in the background while watching some chiseled abs do what I can’t right now.  I’m seriously getting desperate today.  I don’t want this to hang around too long.

I get up at 4:00am every morning and the thing I love the most is that it is dead quiet in the house.  Typically at this time my focus is razor sharp as long as I stay awake at my desk. This morning, however, I was like a super ball let loose in a bingo ball machine.  I was all over the place.  It was like workout ADD.  Please say I am not the only one who has ever gone through this:  you know, you have 2 kb’s, one bosu, a resistance band, 2 cones and zero focus.  What is that about?

This happens at the gym, too, but we can play this off a little better and look semi focused by passing away on a piece of useless cardio (not enough focus for the step mill) or setting up a bunch of equipment for at least 20 min.  Do one set of something and then spend another 20 min. dismantling all the equipment you just set up.  It works like a charm in terms of smoke and mirrors.  If you have never done this, I’d be in shock if you haven’t at least witnessed it once.  Next time you see it, think of me.   If you’re not sure if you’re where I’m at right now, here’s your checklist:

You are in a good place with workouts if:

• Gym opens at 5:00am and you’re there at 4:55 escorting the gym staff to the door and you brought them a coffee.
• Your outfit matches your towel.
• Your outfit matches your towel and your water bottle.
• You forgot your ipod and you don’t care.  (Insert sneakers, gym clothes, whatever)
• You forgot your workout and you remember it enough to still do it.
• You sign up to work out with either Kas or Heather.  Those two are sick.

You are in a bad place with workouts if:

• The alarm goes off and you stomp it down with a shoe.
• You use your printed program as a coaster for your coffee.
• You pack your gym bag in the closet with the seasonal stuff.
• You don’t go to the gym and not only do you not care, you begin to talk others out from going.
• You pull into the Coldstone next to the gym instead going to the gym.

You are in purgatory with me with your workouts if:

• You go to work out in your basement but instead of working out you end up going up and down the stairs at least 5 times because you have to…pee, change clothes, get water, get more water, you heard a noise…
• You go to the gym and forget your stuff in the car so you go back out.  Then you go in and realize you brought everything but your sneakers so you go back.  And then you left your workout on the front seat.  And…
• You start by doing timed sets…but didn’t finish because you remembered you wanted to superset some stuff instead…but now your short on time so a complex makes sense right now…but you just did that so…
• You want to work out outside but it’s too cold.  So you find a piece of cardio next to the window in the gym and just stare outside and pine…

I pray to be out of this by the end of the week.  Feel free to share in my misery.  New series coming soon.  Hang tight!  Woop woop!