When you were younger life was carefree and summers were never long enough.  You spent all your time at the beach or as you got older, with your girlfriends at the beach.  Conversation never lacked with them and although from time to time someone would have an attitude with someone else, for the most part you all got along great.  As you’ve aged, though, things have changed.  Some jealousies have cropped up, new girls have come into the mix and there’s this weird underlying tension that, at times, makes you uneasy.  You long for the “old days” when life was so simple and you didn’t notice how critical and self centered some of your girlfriend’s have become and now here you sit on the deck with them all, on a gorgeous summer night, wondering why you don’t measure up and how come this doesn’t feel so good anymore.

I think obsessively…about how no matter how much I work out, I never have legs like X have.  Her legs are perfect.  Honestly, if I had my way, I lace a bottle of Nair with something and give her something jacked up to worry about for a change.  Sigh.  And why Z just keeps shooting out jabs all night long about how *she* doesn’t have to work out that much anymore and how *she* solved all her issues with this great trainer and how *perfect* her body is now and why don’t *I* go and see him, too, since I’m working out so hard.  I would have punched her in the mouth if it wasn’t for the fact the she’s married to a lawyer.

With eyes wide open I see…a woman beyond great legs in X.  She’s spent more time asking about me and my life than anyone else here.  Yes, I’m jealous and I have to get over that.  She has great legs and I want them.  She also just spent 10 minutes frothing over my hair.  Granted, hers does look like she had a horrible run in with a Vitamix on the high setting, clearly I need to get over myself and help her out.  I never thought to help her because I can’t get past her legs.  What is my gig?  And for the love of all that is holy, poor Z.  Seriously.  Man, I would kill for her body and I would love not to work out so hard but if that’s the only thing she can talk about all night—I’d rather remove my excess body fat with a Flowbee and a butter knife in a back room of a seedy bar than be that obsessed.  More than anything, I don’t know if anyone else notices the way I do—but Z is one unhappy camper.

Here comes the wine and the chatter goes from casual, catch-up kind of chatter to slower, more personal talking amongst you all.  You realize the group is beginning to splinter off into smaller conversations on the deck and you’re not sure which one you want to join.  X and Y are chatting about their kids.  Cute convo but you don’t have any and you’re not sure you want to go there all night.  Z, A and B are talking about Z’s marvelous adventures with her new star trainer and all that that entails.  You’re ready to go MMA on her if you have another glass of wine.  Time to slow the pace there.  C and D are chatting about nothing in particular, yet, but both of them intimidate you.  You’re not sure which one is has it more together but it doesn’t matter because either one makes you feel like an amateur at life.  You decide to hop in with them and the squirming, primping and excuse making by you starts almost immediately.

I think obsessively…how fat I feel.  How dumb I look.  How much I haven’t done with my life.  How much I struggle to keep my body looking the way it does and they don’t.  They’re not asses like Z is, which is nice, but they still don’t have to work hard to look great.  It would take me hours to find an outfit like C’s.  I’d never be able to put something together like that.  Why do I look like I just raided a halfway house’s linen closet and D looks like the model out of the fall catalogue of Ann Taylor Loft?  UGH!!

With eyes wide open I see…something I have never seen before.  Either we have never talked alone like this or the wine makes people share things they never would have before (who guessed the wine?).  Here are two women I truly admire and have a serious girl crush on talking about struggles that they have that I would 1) never imagine and 2) do not ever struggle with.  The fears and paranoia these two ladies have is mind boggling.  Now truth be told, they’re both 2 glasses in with no signs of slowing down and I can’t imagine what they’ll be sharing in an hour or so.  I feel bad.  I have spent a long time being jealous and insecure over their lives when I’m now sitting here thinking I would do anything not to be where they are right now (and not in a judgey sort of way, more like in a “I’m-sorry-I-didn’t-realize-you-were-human-because-I’ve-been-so-obsessed” sort of way.)

The night ends with you becoming closer with two people who you can learn a lot from and share with.  They can give you a better sense of fashion since your idea of dressing up is taking a shower and wearing deodorant and you can show them how to live life since you do that pretty well without even trying.  Both of them are in love with you because you spent half the night talking them off of a ledge and helping them see the faultiness of their logic without making them feel like jerks.  It’s a rare talent but you clearly possess it.  Now if you can just stomach Z for more than 10 minutes, you may be able to find something good in her, too…

The summary of all four posts is next.   Hang tight, it’s time for some rules, guidelines and empathy…  Woop woop!

Previous Series Post Next Post in Series

My, my the months are flying by.  It seems like eons ago when you cleaned up your diet and really put your mind to getting in shape for the summer.  All those hours in the gym and kitchen have done your body some good in that you look great—probably the best you have in a long time—but you feel like crap and your absolutely petrified about stopping what you’re doing because you do not want to go backwards again.  This is the second time on the weight loss roller coaster and not only is it getting harder, but it’s truly getting old.  Peace seems to be fleeting and there has to be someone who can honestly make this happen on a daily basis.  You’re starting to think that you’ll never achieve maintenance, that it’s all a big lie and somehow you’ll be a prisoner forever of this body you once wanted.

I am so tired of the gym.  It’s gorgeous outside.  I want to try the new bootcamp class at my gym, I heard it’s hard, but I can’t do that, lift and do my cardio.  I’m not giving up my lift, I don’t know if it’s “cardio” enough to replace my cardio.  I also want to try the outdoor standing pilates class.  Ugh!

Burning out makes you:

Irrational. Many of us think what got us here was whatever the last thing we were doing.  We cannot for the life of us see the sum total of all that we do and because of that, we are held hostage by the thought that  “I did A + B and got C” and if I don’t do it in that order and in that particular way, I’ll lose all my hard work.  If you stay at this pace and mindset, though, you’ll implode.

Working out makes you:

Confident. You realize that it wasn’t one specific thing that you have done to get here and it won’t be one specific thing that keeps you here either.  You’ll keep a close watch on how your clothes are fitting, but this is summer and you need a break from the indoors.

You begin to write out your current schedule so you can see where you can cut corners but you’re not getting anywhere.  On the one hand, you need a break.  Being inside, lifting weights, the boring cardio all bother you and you know that you can change it up a little but you’re not sure how much.  On the other hand, changing it right now sends your mind into a tail spin:  What do I keep in?  What do I get rid of?  What matters?  The more you read, the less you know and the more adamant you become that you are not doing this all over again.

Burning out makes you:

Aggravated and confused. Because you are operating out of fear, you are not making sound decisions which in turn make you feel trapped and resentful.   Ultimately, you realize that you are not going to blow up overnight but you can’t seem to shake that nagging feeling that you are making a big mistake.  This sends you on an internet/FB frenzy of seeing what other people are doing for the summer.  However, this only makes you more manic and you’re about to ‘not work out altogether’ out of pure stress.  Yes, not smart and worse than if you just went to boot camp but emotions are incredibly powerful as you are now finding out and they don’t always help us in our time of need.

Working out makes you:

Satisfied and lucid. After writing out your schedule you decide to keep 2 days/week as a lift, 3 days of boot camp and cardio on an ‘as needed’ basis.  You’ll try out the pilates first to see if it’s challenging and if it is, you may try to fit it in.  But you already know that you’ll be going away a lot on the weekends so you’ll be making lots of adjustments all summer long.  This will not be the only time you do this, this summer.

One of the biggest mistakes that we make in fitness is basing what we do off of what someone else is doing rather than basing it off of what we need.  Instead of learning what our bodies really respond to and what truly makes us tick, we blindly follow behind those we admire and stalk on the internet, not realizing that 50% of what they post is fiction and the other 50% they are not telling you because it’s a “secret”.  There are reasons you do not trust letting go of the reigns and they’re more than just worrying about the outcome:

• Not understanding what “worked” in the first place
• Putting too much value on your appearance
• Wanting to follow random people’s programs because it’s easier and heck, they look great so why not
• Wanting, needing and relying on structure but then resenting the restriction of the rigid structure

If you allow these things to continue to control you, you will struggle FOREVER every time summer, the holidays and wedding season comes around and you WILL burnout.  I know I said it before but it bears repeating because I’m not stirring this up without follow thru:  I promise I will give you some firm guidelines at the end of this series.  In the mean time, though, learn your body!  I can guarantee you that it requires much less upkeep than you think and that most of you are just continuously beating it into submission until it no longer wants to listen to you.  And that’s not good.  Woop woop!

Previous Series Post Next Post in Series

It’s a gorgeous night and it’s been a long day.  Honestly, it’s been a long year and it’s only June but you are determined to have a good time tonight no matter what.  Your girlfriend is having a few ladies over that evening for a few drinks on the deck and some good ole fashioned girl chatter.  You’ve been looking forward to this all week because you always have a good time with your girlfriends; it just stinks that you don’t get to do it too often.  You do a mirror check, yes, you look cute. You didn’t quite make the weight goal that you wanted for the summer but you are not disappointed with the end product—you appreciate the work you’ve done in the gym and the true gift that your body is.   However, that thought immediately brings the evening to mind:  Am I going to have a drink tonight?  This is a huge decision on many fronts because this is the first social function of the summer and can really set the tone for how it goes down all summer long.  Have a good time = success and more nights out.  Have a bad time= turtling like a hermit, growing a beard and living under a board walk somewhere.  Not good.  So the pressure is on.

Jackassery: You stop thinking about it because you think it’s going to make you manic.  You can’t decide and you are stuck between “the one who doesn’t drink” and knowing that alcohol doesn’t make you fat but it absolutely kills your progress and you’re not sure which is more bothersome to you.  So you tell yourself that you’ll decide when you get there.

Tomfoolery: You want to have a good time and you don’t want anything taking away from that including being panicked about what you’re going to do that evening.  You also know you think differently in front of a bunch of women than you do now in the sanity of your bedroom.  You decide to have a glass of wine and you text your girlfriend to hold you to one and no more.  She says sure!

Your girlfriend who is having the soiree is as health conscious as you are but the rest of your girlfriends are not.  You know that they will bring something that meets their taste, too, and that usually comes in the form of chocolate and ice cream—your two major nemeses.  You wrestle with whether you should show up with your own dessert and/or food and draw attention to yourself (and risk being slightly rude) or know that they’ll be plenty good stuff there and just restrain yourself from diving in to the dessert.

Jackassery: You purposely avoid making a decision about whether you are drinking or not but you pack a cooler with a few food items just in case.  You ignore the fact that you have this sort of undercurrent of resentment flowing through you that you 1) have to pack something and 2) have to be around a bunch of junk that’s only going to tempt you.  You also don’t bother to resolve those feelings now while you have them because again, you’ll deal with that when you get there.  To be honest, you’re wondering why you’re going in the first place now because XYZ is going to be there and she always…

Tomfoolery: You think about the night more and text your girlfriend again and you both make a ‘one glass of wine/one trip to the dessert table pact’ with each other.  You know what happens when you have a glass of wine.  The night is warm, the breeze is light, the mood is fun, conversation is good and the wine is kicking in.  If you do not have a plan in mind when they roll out that dessert table, you may show off your plyometric skills by jump squatting on to the table and deadlifting that ice cream into your face with no utensils.  You understand wine and dessert is a bad diet combo.

Everyone shows up on time and the chatter begins.  You’re a little bit tense because now that it’s summer you can see what everyone else has been doing in the gym, too.  You’re trying hard not to compare but your eyeballs are roaming and for a minute there you start to feel insecure and emotional.

Jackassery: You can’t take the tension and you’re aggravated because you’re the only one without a wine glass—so you have one early on just to relax.  Except, you forgot about how good wine makes you feel; much different than that of hard liquor.  You skip getting any food from your cooler because now you feel stupid for bringing it so you leave it behind her couch and get another glass of wine thinking “I’ll just have two” and after that you’ll cut it off.  The breeze is blowing and you’re now glowing—the total life of the get together– and here comes the dessert.  Instead of passing on one because you’ve now had 2 drinks, you say you just to “sample” a bit.  Two desserts and another glass of wine later, you’ve lost all sense of the evening, your diet and your mouth since you just told XYZ she’s so full of herself that…

Tomfoolery: You want a glass of wine but you know what it does to you so you wait until dinner is served.  You and your girlfriend are watching each other to keep each other on the up and up.  You just get situated with your glass when the desserts show up.  You actually decide to share one with your girlfriend because having a drink with sweets makes you crave more so you ease up on how much sweet you have that night.  You feel really good about the night…even after XYZ told everyone how wonderful she is…

At the end of this series I will give a wrap up of all four posts so you have concrete guidelines for the summer, but I will tell you this now:  Wine is usually the weapon of choice for women.  It is a very different high and it becomes more and more exaggerated as you lose weight.  Hard liquor takes time to kick in and when it does, you check out.  Wine is much different, though.  Somehow, it makes us feel like all in life is A-Ok while we keep some of our wits about us.  It is a fantasy in a bottle and in a romantic setting like partying on the deck, it can be beyond intoxicating.  It’s not the sugar in alcohol or the calories of the drink that get us in trouble with our diets, it’s the alcohol itself.  Make sure you know exactly how much you’re going to have *before* you start drinking or you’re going down hard.  Woop woop!

Previous Series Post Next Post in Series

It’s been a long week at work and it’s finally coming to a close.  You’ve had a “good week” in terms of diet and exercise so you are feeling “on track” right now and you’re hoping the weekend will be the same.  The phone rings and it’s your hubby calling you with a surprise:  a weekend for two down the cape with a Saturday night boat cruise to boot.  The kids are being packed up and shipped off to Grandma’s like a bundle sitting on Amazon’s loading dock and you have no other plans to cancel so right now it looks like it’s smooth sailing to paradise.  You hang up the phone and do a happy dance in your cubicle—for 2 min.  Then the panic sets in:

Wait, I am on track this week.  I have one lift left for the week, when do I fit that in?  I’ll call ahead and see if they have a gym.  What about food?  I’ll get online and see their menu.  No need to ruin all this work this week.  I really wanted to focus on my workouts, though, I’m finally on track.  Grrrr.

Perfection says:

I cannot miss any day.  If I do, I am somehow “less than”.  I’m both not dedicated and somehow likened to “general public” or I’m just a downright fraud because my priorities are in the wrong place yucking it up like this.  If I let on day go, I’ll never get on track again and I’ll gain weight.

Excellence says:

Ok, this was not in the plan but I can handle this.  Missing one day of cardio and one lift is not going to kill me.  In fact, it will probably do me some good since I’m so stressed from work.  What I lose in workout time, I’ll gain in rest.  Maybe I can get a workout in before we leave and it would be awesome if they had a gym.  Let me see what I can do…

Then you remember the call with your hubby:  “Babe.  I got us a trip down the cape.  Just ‘me and you’ time.  We haven’t had just me and you time for a long time now.  When you get home, pack the kids clothes, drop them off at my mother’s—stop the car this time…just puttin’ that out there—and meet me at the house by 6pm.  We can be down there by 8pm while it’s still light out and eat out by the water.”

As great as that sounds, you’re annoyed.  You wanted to do cardio this afternoon and lift in the morning.  There goes your mind again:

If I leave work now, I can get in 30 min of cardio—maybe I’ll just go for a quick run—grab the kids’ stuff and boot them to Grandma’s.  I know he’ll want to snuggle in the morning but he’ll understand if I just run to the gym for a quick lift…

And until you actually do all of this, your mind will be consumed with the timing and the execution of this master plan that you have that supposedly is accommodating both his wishes and yours.

Perfection says:

I’m sure he’s going to be annoyed because I need to get my workout in, but he didn’t ask me if this was ok.  He just went ahead and planned this.  He should know how important my workouts are to me.  I just got on a roll.  How can I go through the summer looking like this?  How can I enjoy myself?  Now I need to leave work early and I’m sure that’s not going to go over well.  I can say my kids are sick…

Excellence says:

This is just one weekend out of many in my life time.  Yes, I’m on a roll and I don’t want to break it, but missing one day of cardio and one day of lifting for the sake of my marriage is worth every sweat bead that I’m not sweating today.  What good is the workout if we’re going to spend the rest of the day not talking or enjoying ourselves?  Not to mention, if I leave work early on a Friday it may not go over so well and I’m in line for a promotion.  No 30 min on a machine is worth all that.

You end up not being able to leave early, traffic was a nightmare and you’re already a half hour behind.  You are trying so hard not to be mad as hornet but you can’t help but think that this always happens:

Every time you get on a roll or feel like you’re making strides, something comes along and messes it up.  (Now your mind is racing over all the times it seemed to be so much simpler than it is now.)  When you seemed to have endless time to get things done and it took 2 min to lose 10 pounds; now it takes 10 weeks to lose 2 pounds.  You don’t want to seem like an ingrate but you’re going to have to let hubby know that he should give you advance notice of these things so you can plan accordingly.  Is that so much to ask?

Perfection says:

Me, at all costs.

Excellence realizes:

Who am I losing this weight for anyways?  If the man I married is happy to have me 1 cardio and 1 lift session short and still plans for me to be with him, and him alone, for the weekend, what the heck is my issue?  Will I really have a better time if I’m down 2 pounds but frazzled and disjointed going into the weekend or will I be happier if I am relaxed and more connected with my hubby with my weight loss goal waiting for me for the following Monday?

For some of you, this may seem extreme.  For others, your nodding your head going, “I’ve been there before.”  It’s summer time.  Enjoy those around you in a relaxed and loving atmosphere.  Disconnect from you and connect into something bigger:  relationship.  This means spending real time with mom, dad, hubby, partner, kids, relatives or friends without making them wait for you to work out first.  Stop holding everybody—including yourself—hostage while you waste your memories in the gym.  I promise to you that I will give you what matters for the gym in my third post, but until then, trust me when I say that one, even two work outs missed does not a disaster make. Perfection is unattainable and always costs something in the long run.  Excellence is not stepping over a dollar to pick up a nickel.  It makes no sense to be dogmatic about a goal because you insist that reaching it will make you happy when in the course of attaining it you made yourself miserable.  See you tomorrow. Woop woop!

Next Post in Series

Please say this pic does not resonate with anyone reading Jodiojo.  Please.

Here it is, a groove slightly transformed just a bit of a break from the norm… Oh I love that song!  And I love the summer even more.  Nothing…and I mean nothing, is as good as the summertime.  Ninety degree days (no humidity, thank you), sun up until 9pm, lazy evenings on the deck, sitting in my backyard, beach for the kids and real grilled food.  Yes!  I am like a new person by the time June rolls around.  So much so that every year I consider moving to a warm climate that would be summer all year round but then I think about the bugs and constant weather turbulence like tornados and hurricanes and I sit my butt right back down in good ole safe, bugless New England.

However, I am not the only one affected by the heat.  Y’alls tend to get a bit wacky, too.  First, there is the struggle with how much time we’re going to play (lay on beach, hang out) and how much time we’re going to work (do cardio, eat right and lift).  No matter how many summers we go through, we still don’t feel like we get it right.  Second, we want to push the alcohol envelope.  It’s nice out, the grill’s on and the family is over.  What’s a few margaritas between friends, right?  But where do we draw the line when it comes to maintenance, dieting and just downright having a good time?  Thirdly, working out inside is for the birds when it’s this nice out but you just spent the winter carving out those nice shoulders.  What needs to stay in the program and what needs to go out?  Lastly, she’s your cousin, you love her—you really do.  But does she need to come by every week with her perfectly sculpted body, in her little tank top and tiny shorts to tell you about how much she doesn’t work out but still looks that way?  Does she really?  And does she always have to ask you how it’s going in the gym when she does talk to you about it?  Really right now?  Yeah.  We need to talk about how to handle her, how to handle ourselves and how to love her all the way through it.

This summer is going to be different for me because I am going to write through it this time.  This is big a challenge for me and I pray you bear with me as I try to keep it together long enough to put some coherent thoughts “on paper”.   My writing schedule is about to take off as we begin to put all our sites together and see what this really looks like when in motion so I thought it best to try and maintain a rhythm during this process.   If you are not signed up on the blog, you may want to do so because I cannot guarantee a regular writing schedule and it will ensure that you will not miss when I do post.  Also, if a series calls for extra stuff like a workout or etc then I only email that out–it is not put on the blog—so you want to make sure you are in the loop.

The series starts tomorrow.  I’ll meet you here with sunglasses, sun block and a beach chair.  Cool?  Woop woop!

I am becoming more of a lover of naturopathic medicine by the day.  I literally have fears of waking up a few years from now in a remote forest, wearing just leaves, listening for the sound of deer while I’m foraging for herbs.  Seriously…because this passion is getting out of control.

However, there is a fair amount of nonsense out there, too, so you have to be careful when you begin to look for answers for every day ailments outside of the traditional medicine network.  First, know that whatever you choose to go with it is not as potent as a drug so it will take longer to work and you will have to play with the dosing.  Second, start with well known and proven cures before venturing into the land of weird and bizarre.  And lastly, if it sounds wacked out, it most likely is wacked out and at that point you should use it for pure entertainment purposes only.

The following is a list of things you may not have thought of to help you with your digestive and gastric issues:

Aloe Juice

I have no idea what this tastes like, but the sound of it makes me want to want to wash my hair with it not drink it.  Odd.

• It’s good for soothing GI distress.
• It’s the only plant source of Vit B12.  Who knew?
• Get it organic and uncooked.
• If you can, get it with glutamine added.

Prebiotics

Most of us have heard of probiotics, but prebiotics help your probiotics work better.  Now are you actually following that loop?  You will take probiotics to help you digest food and promote good bacteria in the gut and you’ll take prebiotics to help the probiotics flourish.  Really right now?  What’s next?  Postbiotics?  “No flushing necessary folks; this supplement obliterates your food right in the colon.”

• A mix of both pre and pro biotics is known as symbiotics.
• For probiotics, make sure you get one with 2-6 billion cultures and at least 2 strains.
• Doing one without the other is nowhere near as effective as taking both.

Enzymes

I ended up doing so much research on these that they’ll have their own series soon.  The biggest thing to know right now is:

• Should contain protease, amylase and lipase.
• If this is a tummy acid problem, get an HCl based one.

Fiber

I am partial to a particular fiber product that I have been promoting for years now.  I love it.  No…seriously…I love it.  I do not get paid by them nor am I an affiliate of any kind.  I just love them.  www.drnatura.com Do NOT look at the website photos while eating lunch.  I’m just warning you.  Also:

• Get a product with both soluble and insoluble fiber.
• Do not use Metamucil which is probably the least effective product ever.  Go to Whole Foods and find one.
• Borage, flax or rice fiber should be in the ingredient list somewhere.

Antioxidants and Amino Acids

The word antioxidants makes me want to stick a fork in my eyeball.  Probably one of the most bastardized words in the food marketing industry today.  It’s a runner up to “all natural” which nowadays really means, “you can’t prove it one way or the other, so there!”

• Zinc is a mineral that gets overlooked way too many times when it tends to be the culprit.  Take note of him.
• Glutathione.  Not sure what series he’ll show up in but he’s worth the write up.  Big benefit putting him in your diet.
• Arginine enhances wound healing and works well in the GI tract.
• Glutamine is a must if you find yourself constantly getting sick or just overall, general malaise.  You want to go high dose with this, though.  Don’t mess around on the 5g end.

This wraps up the gut series.  I purposefully left off any dosing or specifics because I do not want you to use this site for that.  When it comes to medicinal issues, I want to steer you in the right direction but not lead you to the water to drink.  You need a good doc to work with or at least a good doc’s website.  Cool?

Also, the thyroid is its own series coming soon, too.  It’s way too big of a deal to lump into this series.  Hang tight for it.

Not sure what’s coming up next.  Stay tuned to find out.  Woop woop!!

Previous Series Post