I have truly mellowed out in my old age.  Back in the day, I assure you, I was a much feistier gal.  I would like to say that that was a good thing, but alas…it wasn’t.  I have many a dead body behind me of those who entered into an argument with me and I wouldn’t say they “lost” but they lost something (i.e. limb, voice, money, life—who knows.  It wasn’t pretty.).  And those losses didn’t come because I knew something and was smarter than them—because that’s definitely not the case.  They came because I was ferocious at defending my end of the argument at all cost.  Whatever I knew to be true was true as far as I was concerned…and then I got older.

Getting older meant that I had to concede that I may know the truth or I may be “right”, but there could be a whole segment of information that I have never been exposed to that could stomp on whatever I am presenting as fact at that moment.  This doesn’t mean that I didn’t know what I was talking about; it means that I had limited knowledge in the topic being discussed.  This happens to all of us in some way, shape or form.  Think about how dumb we used to think our parents were when really, we were the dummies.  Or, say you are a trainer and a client tells you something that sounds odd to you and in your mind you call “bullcrap” because you think she just doesn’t want to diet or workout hard.  Then like a year later you find out that not only was she telling the truth, but now you have what she was talking about and you’re upset because now no one believes you.  Things like this happen all the time and I expect some of this to crop up during this series.  I need to debunk a lot of junk (wow, can I use that somewhere else?) that is floating around out there in the land of Greek Mythology, aka girl talk, surrounding our cycles and I expect some raised eyebrows.  There’s a ton of misinformation and we need to slog through the details to get to the truth.  Here are a few to start with:

1. Getting to the truth.

There’s no such thing.  There isn’t a central location of hormonal information that you will find that all of the medical community is going to agree upon.  There are two types of medicine that I am familiar with and I refer to them all the time:  Western medicine and naturopaths.  Western medicine is your traditional doctor who tells you what the insurance companies let them tell you.  They are not bad people, just limited by the system.   I will qualify this later so don’t get your underwear in knots if you don’t agree.  Hang tight.  Naturopaths are not exactly MD’s but they have a much more open view of tackling medical issues which is what you need when it comes to hormones.  The problem is, when you need a drug—you ain’t getting’ one there.

These two professions tend to be at odds with each other.  This is tough on us, the little guy, because we look to them for the answers and then find ourselves having to make a choice between the two without any real information to back up our decisions.  YUCK.

2. My cycle has always been messed up.  It’s just the way it is.

Umm…no it’s not.  And don’t accept that either.  Here is where I qualify my above statement.  Unfortunately for doctors, they do not have the resources to make you well.   They only have the capability to make you better.  That is not the same as being well.  Doctors look at the symptoms you present and make them go away.  They do not necessarily cure you.  And when it comes to a syndrome or chronic condition, they can only ask for so many things to be done that insurance will cover because after a while, they start getting vetoed.  Again, not their fault—it’s the system’s.  Hormonal issues require patience, lots of lab work and a good eye for detail.

3. My doctor diagnosed me with “fill in the blank” so that’s what I have.

Maybe so.  I have no right to argue that in any way.  I am not a doctor and do not profess to be.  But I am an advocate and I challenge you to get a second opinion.  Especially if what they told you that you had was a syndrome.  Things like PCOS, fibromyalgia and so on that do not have definitive tests (although PCOS does but few get the ultrasound done) but more like a list of things that you seem to have in common with them.  Syndromes are a great way to say, “I-have-no-idea-what’s-wrong-with-you-but-I-know-you-need-a-diagnosis-or-you-won’t-be-happy-so-I’m-going-to-tell-you-this-so-you’ll-leave-my-office.”  They have no true way to “fix” them but they give you something tangible to hang on to because it makes you feel better.  Not become well.  Just feel better.  And even then, you may not feel better, you may just be symptom free.

Why do I bring this entire subject up?  Why do I care so much?  I know some of you are thinking, “I was just fine before you started kicking up all this dirt.  Now you have my head spinning.”  (Or maybe that’s just Kas thinking that  I bring it up because if you are not optimal at normal body fat levels, you are REALLY not optimal when you get lean.  And for some of you, it’s what’s keeping you from getting the body that you desire.  Your cycle screams “I am not well” and to lose weight, change body composition or be the best you can be:  you need to be well.

Much more to come.  This is a big topic when it comes to changing your body for the better.  If you have any horror stories, you know I love them.  Hit me up below.  Woop woop!

Next Post in Series

Is it me or does my littlest one look like he just saw something gross right before the shot was snapped?  These CIA agents have zero loyalty to their mother.

My kids are awesome.  Yes, I am biased in saying that, but truly, they really are awesome kids.  However, they tend to throw their mother under the bus on more than one occasion.  They say they don’t mean to, but the two older ones are worse than the town crier.  The main thing they tattle on me to their father about is the high flying antics stuff that happens when I drive them to school.  Now I am one of the most aggressive and psychotic cautious drivers there are out there so I’m not sure why they find it necessary to tell their dad that we were driving on two wheels to school but they do at times and it is very inconvenient.  Clearly they got to school by the hair of their chinny chin chins because they weren’t in my car when I got back home nor under the tires and the school didn’t call to say they were psychologically damaged absent so obviously they were fine.  So there are days I just want to hush the two town criers in my back seat by forcing them to listen to their father go on and on about it bopping them upside their heads—but I can’t.  But there is a town crier that we are silencing that we should not be and it is usually warning us of impending peril.  This would be our cycle.

Cycles are very funny because we loathe having them but we hate missing one even more.  They possess an uncanny ability to show up the week you go on vacation no matter when you book it and they make every day activities uncomfortable and cumbersome.  They’re about as welcome as a tummy virus is after a Sunday dinner with the family.   But missing one, for some of us, is more traumatic than being robbed at gun point so let’s just be honest that it’s not like we’re rejoicing because we skipped a month.  And even if missing one doesn’t send you into cardiac arrest, it still makes you think in the back of your head, “What’s wrong here?”

If you hop on the web and start googling, you will find a ton of information regarding missed periods, or as the medical community refers to them:  irregular periods.  Some of it is inaccurate, not all because there is some good info out there on the more prominent websites, but almost all of it is inapplicable to the lean community.  We are a special breed that is incredibly underrepresented in medical studies and on the medical websites.  We are lumped in with the general public and when it comes to issues regarding our hormones or how our bodies react to dieting, we aren’t even close.  But contrary to popular belief of us clean eaters, we do not lose our periods because we are low body fat.  Very few of us ever get that low of body fat to say we lost our cycle for that reason.  I know I have mentioned this before, but we have a warped sense of what our true body fat is.  I have heard girls say they are 8/9% body fat at their leanest and that is a far from the truth.  They are most likely 11/12ish but highly unlikely they as low as 8 or 9%.  The thing that most of seem to miss is that the accuracy of the measurement tends to decrease as you move out to either extreme.  Super lean BF levels and super high BF levels are normally not accurate because they are out of the range of accuracy for that measuring tool.  This is another post for another time but just know that unless you have some ribs showing and your femur perfectly outlined, you are not 8% BF.

We lose our periods due to high levels of the stress hormone cortisol.  It is the grand interrupter.  Cutting your cals and beating your body into submission is a great way to raise your cortisol levels which in turn messes with your sex hormones.  (Of course, this beats the old fashioned way of fight or flight which just shows that we have become bored with more traditional ways of jacking ourselves up and moved on to more sophisticated methods.)  Once that balance is off kilter, so is your period and it can take an act of Nature to get it regular again.  But why the fuss and who really cares?  If I’m missing my period, why don’t I just take the pill and make it come back, right?  That’s up to you but your period is the best loud mouth you will ever have in your body.  It’s forever telling you how you are doing medically.  Silencing may not be the most prudent thing to do.

Hang on tight while we jump into what your period really tells you on a monthly basis and why the pill may not be the answer you expected it to be.  Can’t wait, ladies!  Woop woop!

Since I laid some ground rules down for nutrition in terms of an obstacle race, I feel it only prudent to do the same for active recovery and injuries.  The only thing that tops being injured is being sick.  I have had a sick 6 year old at home now for 3 days and he is reminding how miserable it is to be sick.  But injuries are annoying because you really want to work out at full capacity but you can’t and the whole time you can hear the pounds collecting on the scale.  So let’s put this in perspective, shall we?

Active Recovery

Active recovery is a fancy schmancy word for “knock it off and rest, will ya?”  In support of us psychos who feel like we’re being lazy because we only worked out 7 days this week (as opposed to the 8 days available to us overachievers), this is a vital tool to be added to our tool box.  Unlike a regular athlete who has full calories available to them at all times, we have to recover in two ways:  fake “high” caloric days and consolidating exercise.

Since our lives are guided by the motto “less is more”, our prep for the race should be a bit less than the average athlete.  For one, a ton of running will kill a physique.  Therefore, that should cut the schedule back a bit.  Secondly, we will need to consolidate lifts with functional training because lifting more would be hard to due to the lack of food in the diet.  And lastly, we do not have enough starch in the diet to go hog wild in terms of energy output without wondering if we’re burning through some major muscle so we need to get smart about adding fat.  Here are some ways to manipulate your schedule:

• Go to full body lifts for now.
• Add functional movements in between the lifts.
• Wear a weighted vest in your workout instead of heavy DB’s or BB’s.
• Leave at least 2 days completely free from all exercise and instead, make them stretch days.
• Eat the most on those days, but not so much that you break the caloric bank.
• Add sprints to your schedule (like 200’s and 400’s) but do not put them after a killer leg workout.  Even if you are doing full body workouts, you may have more of a “leg day” than another day.  Avoid sprinting after that.
• You can make the high cal days high by adding more Omega 3 fats instead of adding more starch.  This will definitely aid in active recovery.
• Drop a day of cardio and make your lifts more dynamic so you suck wind during them.

Injuries

Injuries are a pain in the butt.  And I mean that literally!  I would rather (yes! I got my “I’d rather” in) remove a deep splinter with a butter knife than sit through my summer (again!) with a major injury like a broken limb.  I broke my foot last June and it was miserable.  I refused to be sidelined so I hobbled all over Boston with a huge boot, but it still wasn’t the same.  Because we are on a compromised diet in the first place, our joints and tendons are ripe for the picking in terms of injury.  Fat is scarce in our diet and it is what lubricates our joint capsules  so we have little give and take when we misstep or land funny.  Rolling ankles are almost a given as well as rotator cuff issues.  Be smart!  Make sure you recover and get plenty of sleep.  Should an injury occur, here is what you need to know:

• Your first reaction is to cut all the starch out of your diet.  Don’t do it.  Go to 1/day at least 4 days/week.
• Eat exactly what you need each day.  This means do not go to bed hungry or full.  Either one is bad for different reasons.
• Do not work out on the injured body part until you are completely well.  Trust me when I say this.  We heal jacked up if we do not fully recover.  For the rest of your life, your knee will ache every time you turn on the garbage disposal.  Seriously.
• You will not gain weight if you keep the junk out.  This is not the time to “munchy” yourself into next week.   With that being said, do not try to starve yourself, either.  See above.
• You will feel smooshy.  Itiswhatitis.  You are not losing muscle.  You are losing your “pump”.  Accept it and just know when you lift the right way again, all will be well.
• Don’t be a cardio hero.  If you can’t lift right but somehow can still do cardio, don’t try to make up for lifting with cardio.  Baaaaaaad decision right there.  Just say no.

I feel better now that I put this on paper.  If you go out and act crazy on the course, I have nothing to do with it.   You have been warned.  Hahaha!  Let me know if you are doing one any time soon.  I’d love to know.  Woop woop. )

It’s 3 pounds per starch serving!

No, honestly.  Some of y’alls think you gain 3 pounds per starch serving.  Sound familiar?

• “My body is just sensitive to carbohydrates.”
• “Every time I eat a carb I gain weight.”
• “I think I’m gluten intolerant because I become puffy and bloated when I eat bread.”

This scary thing about these statements is that I think some of you are actually standing on the scale while eating and give me an up-to-the-minute report as to what that number is doing.  It’s frightening.  And very few of us are truly “sensitive” to carbohydrates.  First, let’s be honest and say when we turn the carb fountain on, we don’t shut it off.  The only sensitivity we have is that we can detect one in the room if we were blindfolded and devoid of smell.  Law enforcement should use us for our carb tracking abilities with the TSA or something.  There has to be a use for that kind of sensitivity to starch.  I pray that you know by now that we do not instantaneously gain weight from starch, we gain water.  One of the best tools that you have for making your body look great at an event is the manipulation of starch in your diet.  If you take that away permanently, that’s a huge loss for the dress up world.  Lastly, you are not gluten intolerant because you had bread; you are puffy because you had the LOAF of bread.  Just sayin’.  Flour absolutely can wreak havoc on you more than sweet potatoes or oatmeal, but that’s only when you initially bring it back into your diet (I will explain this one day—I promise).  I am not advocating eating bread every day, I am just not going to let you poo poo it for the wrong reasons.

You know I had to go there because for us to be able to do an obstacle course race, we need to eat some starch.  However, this is easier said than done if you are in the middle of a diet or if you are carb-phobic.  Signing up for an endurance event while dieting is like a guy trying to maintain bachelor status as he’s planning his wedding.  Sounds good in theory but…

There is a huge difference between the leanness of an elite endurance athlete who got that way in spite of eating a high carb diet to an amateur physique athlete who wants to maintain the leanness while entering in to a high carb diet.  They are not the same and you will be very disappointed about your results if you do not know that before training starts.  More than I want to yap your ears off for hours about starches and such, I want to give you some ground rules:

Bring starches into your diet at least 4 weeks before the event. You do this because your body must get used to processing them again.  You will find that you will be tired the first week you bring them in.  You do not need a lot so easy, killah.  Whoa, Nelly.  Steady as she goes…  An extra 50g of carbohydrates can seriously go a long way in our training.  We have trained our bodies to do more on less so it is not necessary to go crazy here.

Eat the heartier starches on the days you train hard. Limit heavy starches like bread, rice or oatmeal to the days you train.  Have them first thing in the morning and post workout.  I would fool around with pre-workout starches first before relying on them because we tend to not draw our energy directly from starches.  We are low carb on a natural basis, so having them pre can sometimes bog you down.  I find fruit works best here but see what works for you.

Up until 75 minutes, it’s still just cardio. Don’t get drawn into the hype that you need to eat extra and do all kinds of gu’s and gels just because you are doing an endurance event.  For us, it’s just cardio until the 75 min mark and then we need to think about supplementation.

Sodium is a necessity in your diet. Eating clean means we do not get enough sodium in our diets.  If I had my way, you would keep a salt lick by your bed and run your tongue down it every morning.  Now there’s a nasty visual for you. (Speaking of that, I’m short on an “I’d rather”.  I’ll work one in this series somehow, hang on.)  But this is where we get into trouble.  We mistake the negative effects of not enough sodium (dizziness and lethargy) with not enough sugar so when the symptoms hit, we’re eating the wrong thing.  Make sure you have enough electrolytes in your body before you train.

Have a separate menu for the different training days. You should eat the most on days you lift and the day after your long run or hardest training.  You eat moderately on the long run or hardest training day and you eat the least on every other day.  This keeps your physique sharp and your hunger dull.  It also stabilizes your energy levels so that you’re not all hyped up at the wrong time.   Nothing is more annoying than an overly hyped athlete on a non-training day.  We drive our family nuts.   Honestly.

So there you have it.  Tomorrow we talk about active recovery and injuries.  Remember who you are and you will head into this the right way.  Cool?  Woop woop!!

Ahhh…there’s nothing like a fresh batch of peer pressure to make us do something completely uninformed and irrational.  Gotta love it.

Everybody loves a challenge—especially us.  We love them more than the average person does, to be honest with you.  We can seriously get a little sick with it by setting crazy goals like 5 marathons in 5 weeks and of course, at the time it sounds completely rational.  It even sounds doable.  However, about halfway through the goal we know we are in trouble but we keep on going for pride sake. How about we avoid this calamity by giving you some things to take into account as we head into another year of the obstacle course races?

Let me remind you of who you are.   If you are reading this blog, then you are someone who may or may not realize that you are an athlete but you definitely realize that your physique is part of your overall health and fitness goal.  So it’s not ‘by any means necessary’ to reach the finish line because none of us here would be willing to go up 10 pounds to make the goal happen.  Instead, we will rethink it when we realize that it could take weeks to get the 10 pounds off again and we’ll most likely move on to another goal.  It is what it is.  This gives you an idea of what this series is about because it is not about getting you ready for the Tough Mudder or any other killer race.  No, it is about getting you ready for them safely while taking into account that you will need to be smart about how you fuel for the training, actively recover from the training and psychologically deal with the training. This is not the same as just plain old running or bodybuilding type lifting and if you are not aware of that you may either blow your diet, go crazy or the worst of them all: get injured.

Over the next three days I want to tackle 4 things:

• Tough Guy syndrome
• Nutritional challenges (how to work the STarch thing)
• Active recovery
• Injuries and their ramifications

In less than a month I turn 42 years old.  WOW.  I don’t feel a day over 41 30 yo when I do things, but the next day I feel like I am 75.  I honestly remember the time when I could wake up, decide to run a 10K that day (even though I was not training for one and never ran more than the 10 feet it takes me to get into the shower) and then get up the next morning and do it all over again.  Crazy.  If I did that today someone would be peeling me off the asphalt—and that would be at registration!  Shame.  I need to warm up for my warm up and I know that’s from years of abuse brought on by Tough Guy syndrome.  This malady affects almost all trainers, some group fitness instructors, avid runners and nearly every single physique athlete out there.

Tough Guy syndrome (TGS) is a peculiar syndrome because it crosses the blood brain barrier and renders us dumb as dirt as to the workings of the body and metabolism even though we could school a client on it in a heartbeat.  Somehow, we’re impervious to this information.  We can dispense it, but we can’t use it and because of this, we tend to do some of the dumbest things known to mankind.  It’s unbelievable.

TGS’s power is exacted by finding the weak spot in our immune systems: our egos.  Once it finds that chink in the armor, it quickly spreads throughout the Central Nervous System causing awful symptoms like signing up for and completing the Tough Mudder without any training for it and then systematically bragging about it like you’re a hero or something.  Frightening.  Fevers and chills can result if it goes undetected as people are hot with jealously or cold with disdain around you because you decided to just “pop into” the race.  And because TGS is a syndrome, there is no “one-size-fits-all” cure and normally diagnosis comes only with the egregious symptoms coming to light such as injury or accidents.

But there is hope.  You can take preventative measures to keep from developing this syndrome by realizing a few things:

1)      If you are under 18% bodyfat, you are of the lean community.  You cannot, and should not, put your body to the ultimate test without properly preparing it and fueling it.  Do not eat the same diet you are used to now and then just “jump into” an obstacle course type race.

2)      If you are allergic to starchy carbohydrates because you think they make you gain weight and want to just eat starch the week of the event, you’re in for a big surprise.  We’ll talk about this tomorrow.  Just know that you need to eat them long before the week of the event if you want to use them to fuel your race.

3)      You do not recover the same when you are lean.  You have fewer reserves in the tank and you must keep that in mind.  If you deplete them now, they will not be available to you when go back to working on your physique or just even maintaining it.

4)      You run the risk of injury—major injury—when you are leaner.  This truth comes in handy when you feel the urge to bounce out of bed and conquer the world.  One day of heroism could cost you 10 weeks of working out.  There’s a sobering thought.

This will be a short series.  I am only going to yell at you a little bit (I’m really yelling at myself but I’m using you as the punching bag.  Sorry.) so meet me here for the next 2 days as we get ready for an obstacle race.  Cool?  Woop woop!

It is 2 days before our wedding date and guess what?  We didn’t make our goal.  Our seamstress didn’t have to let the gown out any more, but we don’t look like the cover model that we thought we would and we didn’t hit our goal weight either.

Dang it!

Yes, I know…sad.  But true, nonetheless.  And we didn’t make goal in a few ways, not just on the scale, because our virtual diet is going to have a real ending as opposed to those commercials that make you think everyone is successful.  Everyone that is…except you.

Our lives improve only when we take chances – and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Walter Anderson

I want to stress this point until I sprain a finger typing on my laptop keyboard:  realistic goals = success.  Dreams are great motivators only to the degree that the 1 size-too-small pair of pants hanging in your closet is.  In theory they are great to keep us going, but in reality they cause tremendous disappointment because they are so out of proportion to what we can expect as the outcome that nothing could satisfy our hearts at the end.  I am all for motivating quotes and rah rah shishcoombah type encouragement but only to a certain extent.  Then after that, we need to be yanked out of the clouds and have someone slap some sense into our heads.  Here are some facts:

• You will not diet into a great shape the first or second time around.  Maybe the third, though.  Even then, you will still be able to pinch something, jiggle something or point to something that you do not like because it’s not your body that is lacking, it’s your sanity that is.
• You will not maintain it without some level of work.  If you want something extraordinary, you have to put the ‘extra’ in to get it.
• The scale weight does not necessarily reflect the way your body looks.  This goes both ways.  I have seen folks excited that they hit goal weight and they look like someone beat them down with a bag of flour and I have seen women fall short by 5 pounds but be absolute stunners in the process.  Get over the number.  If it means that much to you, tape it on the scale and it will always read that and you’ll be good to go.
• Just because you “stopped eating” the junk does not mean that you will automatically begin to lose.  Where’s your sacrifice?

Efficiency is doing things right; effectiveness is doing the right things.  Peter F. Drucker

We would be able to go back and see where the disconnect happened in our plan if we were 100% on it.  I’m not saying that we cheated or anything, no—we were “following” it the whole time.  But the plan we were on was a hybrid plan.  See, we all do it.  We get our plan from our coach or from whomever we charged with the responsibility of dieting us at the time and upon opening it, decided that they were no longer qualified to do the job.  What were they thinking to tell us what to eat and when?  And don’t they know that that would make us hungry or possibly even cranky so there is no way we’re going to stick with that?  And we don’t have to let them know that we know better than they do, we’ve been dieting ourselves for years.  They just learned about us yesterday.  So we’re going to eat whatever we want for meals 3 and 4, do as much cardio as necessary and lift the way that we want to lift and if it doesn’t work out….well that’s their fault.  They should know we didn’t really want a plan to get us to the goal, we wanted our own plan—the one that fictitiously works in our mind—validated.  Affirm us that we were on the right track and all we needed was for someone to tell us about some new egg whites and oatmeal that we have never heard about before so we could get on with the weight loss thing.  Sheesh.

• Either you’re in or you’re out.  Get off the fence and stop being a couch coach.
• Get over yourself.  Yes, you read a lot.  Yes, you know a thing or two about nutrition.  But objectivity is impossible when you diet yourself so you are not hiring someone who necessarily “knows” more than you or even “knows” you; you are hiring someone who is not you.
• Once you change a plan you negate the outcome.  Period.

Sometimes you’re the bug, sometimes you’re the windshield.—Mark Knopfler

We’ve done everything right, according to the book and we had a very realistic goal and we still didn’t make it.  What gives?

• If you’re healthy and nothing medically stands out, you have been dieting too long.  Time for a break.
• You may have something medically going on that you are not aware of.  Only healthy people lose weight easily. Keep that in mind.
• Things you may not be aware of:  birth control, thyroid meds, food intolerances, stress, liver issues, chemicals in your diet, heavy metals in your body and the list goes on.  Depends on how your diet goes to be able to figure it out.  There will be telling signs.

That was the longest diet I have been on in years.  What was that, 7 days total?  I think I cheated at least 4 times since we started.  Shame.  Next series is on obstacle races like the Tough Mudder and such.  Not sure when that starts but it’ll be within the next few days.  Hang tight and hit me up below with questions or via my email if you like:  Jodi@trans4mationstation.com.  Cool?  Woop woop!

Previous Series Post

We’re near the end of this great journey through our virtual tour of a 12 week diet but we still have yet to conquer our fears and deal with a goal that does not come to pass.  Let’s not waste time and just hop right in.

I have thought about this all week long in terms of how I was going to present fear to you.  My initial thought was to sort of pick up where I left off with ‘pressure’ and tell you about the fake voices in your head and how they control you.  However, I know that some good brain cells were set on fire with that post so I will put out those flames later on with another post when we go into the series that discusses the after effects of this diet.   What I feel that most of us lack is an understanding of how real those voices and feelings seem at the time and because of this, how much they can rob us of a healthy dieting experience.  If we can acknowledge in our hearts—not our minds—that those voices are just fear and they are not real, then we may be able to make it through this diet without making any rash, harmful decisions.  But it is the acknowledging that is the hard part.  We have such a tough veneer that most of us aren’t honest enough with ourselves to share that we have fears.  Real fears.  So real, they seem like people in a room to us.

FEAR is an acronym in the English language for “False Evidence Appearing Real”. Neale Donald Walsch

Hands down, the best weapon in war or any other kind of battle is intimidation.  Warring parties would try to convince the other side that they had an advantage in hopes of getting them to surrender without even going to battle.  In many instances it worked and a fight was avoided.  When it comes to something such as dieting, the enemy isn’t another country warring against us; the enemy is in our mind and it will stop at nothing to de-rail us from our goal.  It is real, it occupies real space in our brain and it can become so real that we could almost have a conversation with it on the couch.  Actually, we do have a conversation with it on the couch.

I want to stress this concept to the point of ad nauseam because you may fail to see its relevance and impact in your life.  When you are 7 weeks into this diet but your only 1/3 of the way to goal, it is fear who is going to remind you of that.  When you are in the gym and you suddenly feel portly compared to the week before, it is fear that is making that happen.  When you are deciding on adding extra cardio into your program when you know you shouldn’t or cut out carbs before your plan tells you to, it is fear that gives you the wherewithal to that.  Fear becomes your best friend.  He goes from being just a topic you discuss with someone you trust to a scary man with bad breath who is real, mean and standing right next to you.

As dieters, the things we fear seem so silly when we say them out loud so we keep them to ourselves and it is there that they become true villains in our minds.  They literally take on the human likeness of a 6’3” tall, large frame, ominous looking and strong male who stalks us wherever we go.  He pops up at the most inopportune times and refuses to leave us, even after we have convinced ourselves for the 20^th time that hour he is a figment of our imagination and nothing is going to happen.  He has bad breath and is happy to breathe on us any time we feel we are losing control of our present circumstances.  Thus if life begins to squeeze us emotionally through work, home life or friends, here comes fear to keep us company through that by giving us something else to worry over instead of the real issues at hand.

He makes us anxious.  He makes us get up, go to the cabinets and eat like there is no tomorrow.   He can tell us to take a not-so-good ergogenic aid because without it we will never get to where we want.  He’ll talk all day long if we let him—and we do!  We argue with him, reason with him and even shout at him if we’re alone.  He is in full control and we are at his mercy when he strikes because we 1) want to deny that he is real and 2) do not recognize the behaviors that he brings out in us because we keep denying he is real.  More than anything you must acknowledge his presence to get rid of him or he just keeps sitting at the dinner table in your mind feasting on your sanity.

I’m not even going to try to address conquering fear here and for the most part of this series I have only pointed out emotions and actions without going into how to get over them.  This is mainly because it is not that simple to “fix” and this post is already longer than the line of traffic at a cheap gas station without adding that in.  I promise I will get there.  We have much to cover in the coming months and I think it best to get your mind percolating first.

Tomorrow I will wrap this series up by giving you the last two weeks of the diet.  It may interest you to know that we do not make it to goal the way we want and so I will cover what to do when that happens, as well.  This has been a great series and I really appreciate all the emails and comments.  Keep ‘em coming! Woop woop!

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Week 4 is here and now we’re into remembering what food used to taste like.  We actually reminisce from time to time what cheese was like and how awesome it is and we wonder if we’ll ever have it again.   Then we think of the goal date and snap out of it.

GUIDELINES FOR WEEK 4

• Anything and everything extraneous comes out of the diet.  Everything.
• Condiments like mustard, vinegar (any kind), ketchup and so on are still fine but all else has to go.
• Lose the nutbutters and any other inefficient fat to trim back on the choices.
• Increase water and maybe even cardio at this point.  You should be 2/3 of way to weight goal or size goal by now.

PITFALLS

• You will cut out too much, go too extreme and doubt your way into misery.
• Get objective feedback.  If someone says you look good—believe them or don’t ask them.

“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.”  Eric Hoffer

I opened up this series by stating that dieting is personal and it is about this time that we begin to realize how personal it is.  With 4 weeks left to goal, we are visibly different than when we started and we are just now getting a true taste of how intoxicating adoration can be.  But there is an ugly relative of adoration who reaches just as far into our souls but is nowhere near as nice.  This relative is known as unwarranted comments and it is quite powerful.

I think we all in our lifetime have had to swallow a dose of someone else’s vinegar and for the most part, we can handle it.  But when the comments come daily and most of them from people you do not know, it becomes a bit much.  Soon we begin to stoop to their level with retorts that are not necessarily pleasant or with shame/anger that makes us sulk for the rest of the day because we have had a personal lifestyle choice judged by a complete stranger.  It is vital for our survival to understand that our choices have condemned theirs and do not truly reflect who we are but more what they are not doing, so we must instantly reject their comments and not receive them in our hearts.  I am sure you think you do that when you get in your car and text your girlfriend the whole exchange that went down, but the fact that we thought about it after it happened enough to text someone the whole exchange, means that we made it ours.  Stop, right then and there, and categorically reject people’s unnecessary, hurtful opinions by loving them with everything you got.

I know you’re going to ask me how to do that so let’s get right to it:

SCENARIO #1

You’re at a restaurant.  You just ordered a meal that was initially lasagna but after all your substitutions and requests it was essentially baked cod with steamed vegetables (we have a talent for this).  The waitress is annoyed, to say the least.  She takes the time out of her day to snarkly say to you “I think you can afford to have a little fat in the meal, don’t you think?”

Bad response: “I think I can afford to have a whole lot more than you, killah.  Meet you on the arc trainer in the morning? Hmmm??  I’ll bring the motivation, you bring the rest of the steak n cheese you’re going to have for dinner tonight and we’ll have a good time.  Don’t you think?”  Umm…not the way to handle that.

Good response: “To be honest, I’m super blessed to be able to afford this meal of which I am really looking forward to.  Thank you for asking.”  Said with a sincere and true smile.  Finish by telling her you like her hair or something.  Works great on getting the point across that you are not in the least bit affected and you are into giving folks second chances.  Don’t be surprised if she’s your best friend by the end.

SCENARIO #2

You’re at the gym.  You’re working out in typical leave-me-alone gear:  hoodie, hat, ipod, smelly shirt with baggy sweatpants.   Everything about you says “back-the-heck-off.”  Here she comes…off your right flank…there’s nowhere to hide…she’s gotcha now:  “Wow.  You look great.  When is your wedding?  Four weeks?  Great job, girl. I can’t wait to see your pictures. (This is called The Setup.  Don’t worry, she has an agenda.)  Are you worried that you’ll be able to keep it off after?  I know lots of girls who rebound after dieting like that.  It’s so extreme, ya know?”  WHAMMO!  You didn’t even see it coming.  That’s called the old let-me-pee-in-your-cereal-trick.  Works like a charm.

Bad response: “Extreme?  You’ve been here for 2 hours, talked to 8 people, been briefed on the tactical operations happening on cardio and surveyed the weight room and you want to call me extreme?  Girl, you better realize you’re in a gym and go find yourself a weight.  You know, those heavy things that change your shape (look her up and down)—for the better.”  At this point I would say you’re bitter.  Go eat a starch.

Good response: “You know I have thought about that and I will cross that bridge when I come to it. Nothing I am doing right now is extreme but I honestly cannot tell you what I will be like at that time, I’ve never done this before.  I hope you supported the girls who rebounded.  That has to be hard and I would think they need support more than anything else.”  That leaves her realizing that she just said something nasty.  It may take a while to seep in, but it’ll get there.

SCENARIO #3

You’re at your in-laws.  It’s Thanksgiving.  You’ve got a MIL who doesn’t mince words.  No set up needed for this one, she’s heck on wheels, “Frank, pass the plate to your wife.  She’s needs some more food on her plate.”  Now looking at you she adds, “You’re getting too skinny and quite frankly it’s not attractive.”

Bad response: “You have hair on your chin, you’re going to tell me what’s attractive?  Not for nothing but–”  Now I’m going to cut you off right there.  Knock it off, that’s your MIL.

Good response: “I thank you for your concern, BettyAnn.  I do wonder, at times, if I would know if this ever got out of hand but I know that I can count on you to keep my head on tight.  I am comfortable where I am at now but it’s comforting to know that you have my best interest in mind.”  You just put a cigarette out in her head with that comment.  Works even more if you mean it so show some love there.  Got me? She’ll be wondering the whole night if that was for real or not.

I’m afraid the last one is about fear.  Get ready for that on Monday.  In the mean time, let me know some of the crazy things people have said to you and how you’ve handled it.  Cool?  Woop woop!

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Time is flying on this diet (what’s it been now, 4 days?) and we’re at that junction where if I was working with you back in the day my tone would go from super supportive coach (Oh girl, it’s fine.  You’ve got plenty of time.  Pick yourself up and keep it moving.) to edgy coach (We do have a goal, you know.  I know you don’t understand how 2 pounds of chocolate could add 10 pounds of fat, but I took bioenergetics and I understand!).  Ok, I’m just kidding…it only adds 5 pounds of fat.  And I wouldn’t be edgy…I’d have a tone, though.  Just sayin’.   Er…moving on.

GUIDELINES FOR WEEKS 6 & 5

• Cheat meal becomes a “really good meal” at a restaurant or from home that is cooked with full flavor and fat but nothing processed.  No cheese then.
• Diet goes down to a few select choices for STarches, veggies and fruits.  Keep protein wide open.
• Start rotating something here:  calories, starches, fruits, etc.  And it depends on your goal as to what.

WHERE YOUR HEAD IS AT

• Panic.  Straight, unadulterated panic.  It’s a scary area right now in your brain.  Nothing rational going on in there.

WHERE YOUR BODY IS AT

• You should be 1/3 of the way toward goal or you need to regroup.
• You will not have any definition at this point.  You should just be smaller.

“A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.”   Erma Bombeck

Six weeks into the diet and you are beginning to lose more than just body fat; you are losing your best friend.  She had no desire to diet like you but opted to simply do her thing alongside of you and offer her support.  However, you are changing, she is not and life suddenly became complicated.  This happens with a spouse, with parents and with co-workers, it is not just limited to friends.  Most of us automatically think that it is them, right?  I am sure you have had this discussion or read this somewhere a 1000 times and it was presented to you in a way that makes you feel justified because they are not where you are, they just don’t have the discipline and yadda, yadda, yadda.  But it is much more than that.  What if I told you that what was splitting up your friendship/marriage/work friendship was simply emotional protection on your part?  Instead of being your bestie she’s now your “competition”.

I use the word competition here lightly.  I do not mean that you are competing against her in a real, physical sense or that she’s some new jealous psycho friend who stalks you at the gym by showing up in the parking lot with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s (although, that would be sight to see).  What I am referring to is emotional competition; which for us as women is fiercer than anything that would happen in that gym parking lot (unless she covered her face in Vaseline and took off her earrings.  If that happens, get out of there quick).

Emotional competition is the struggle we enter into when we decide to change our bodies on a radical level and then try to live life normally.  This is not a onetime struggle that can be resolved very easily.  This is not about us “not getting along with our friends anymore” so now we just move on.  As bad as that sounds, that’s easier than where I’m going.  No, this is about the battle we now have with the world that says “I am having such a good time eating whatever I want, going wherever I want without worrying about when I’m working out and just casually living and loving life—why can’t you just…?”.  Every day is now a mental mêlée where we must re-commit to our goal when we hang out with our friends.  Every day is a test of will when we cook for the family, go to a family function or visit friends.  Every day it seems like the fight gets more and more intense and we have a harder time justifying why we are doing this.  We are emotionally torn between hanging out with those that we love and pursuing our bucket list goal of a great body.  This is not a simple conflict.  This is a competition.  This is about two separate lives competing for our undivided loyalty.  Neither wants to cut us any slack and they both scream, “It’s us or the highway.”  So what do we do?  Turtle.  We crawl inside of our shells, tune out the world and then we hop on a forum and find like-minded individuals who are chasing the same goal.

Not good.  Not cool.

Why is this a bad thing?  Because this is an extreme lifestyle and we just shut out all contact with the outside world.  Now we live in a fish bowl and we’ve already discussed how pressured we are merely living this lifestyle.   Our entire day becomes centered on how we look.  Not directly, but in a “well…yeah…” sort of way.  We spend our entire day looking at pictures of other women, keeping up with their workouts and searching out new recipes.  There is not a lick of balance in our lives and then we wonder why we’re losing our tree over things such as someone eating our pre-packed meals in the fridge.  I mean…don’t they understand??  It took all day to cook that! UGH!

But we didn’t shut them out because they did something wrong or they violated us in some way.  We shut them out because we couldn’t take the competition.  We couldn’t deal with the choices that we were facing so we just stopped making them a choice.  I know what you’re thinking, “I don’t do those things anymore so why do I want to be around it?”  And no, you don’t, but you can find a common ground with them.  You have to; you are rejecting their lifestyle—not them.  Life is about compromise; balance is about sanity and you need both.  There will come a time when this lifestyle is passé for us and we will be forced to walk away from it.  When that happens, if we handle this the wrong way, there will be a bunch of people we love that we will have to say I am sorry to and that does not always feel good.

Am I the only one who feels like they need to give somebody a call right now?  I will go over this one again from another angle in another series.  Til then, there are two more to talk about and then we wrap the diet up on its own.  Hope you are keeping up.  See you tomorrow!  Woop woop!

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We’re at that part of the diet where we begin to doubt.  We’re 8 weeks and counting and we’re not seeing enough of a change to feel comfortable about the goal we set out to achieve.  Hang in there because many times what you do to “speed things along” is actually going to mess you up more.

GUIDELINES FOR WEEKS 8 & 7

• Get rid of miscellaneous foods now.  Anything you may have been eating that does not have as much “cluck for its buck”:  low carb tortillas, beans, lentils, corn, peas, sugar snap peas…etc.
• Focus on STarches such as steel cut oats, shredded wheat, oat bran as well as the usuals like yams and brown rice.
• Eliminate any tropical or dried fruit and focus more on the heavy hitters that have high vitamin impact.
• Cheat meal stays the same for now.
• There MUST be a rhythm in your dieting by now.  You cannot still be “getting it together” at this point.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW AT THIS POINT

• You will change in the mirror long before you will on the scale.  You will see the changes, but your weight may not reflect it.  That’s ok.
• You will not have very defined arms and abs right now because you still have a good amount of non essential foods in your diet.  But they are necessary for sanity, so leave them alone.
• Doing extra cardio may help you short term regarding your goal but will kill you long term in terms of maintaining.  Don’t add anything in extra.

“Have no fear of perfection–you’ll never reach it.”  Salvador Dali

With all this adoration comes something new that you didn’t think you would ever have:  pressure.   Suddenly, people are watching you everywhere you go.  Whether you realize it or not, they started watching you the first day you showed up to work with Tupperware and smelly food.  That fact that you ate often, on a schedule and you regularly turned down sweets at the office screamed, “I am doing something different.  Yoohoo!  Look at me diet.  Wooooohooooo! Here I am making you feel bad about my choices.”

“Hawk eyes” begin to pop up here and there.  These are women whose x-ray vision is so keen for weight loss changes you would think they were part of some government agency specially trained for enemy warfare via the human body.  Their noses have been trained to pick up as little as a 2 pound weight loss and their eyeballs are calibrated in grams—not even pounds.  And they will make you feel like they are supporting you the whole way but you kinda feel like they are waiting for you to fail.  The sad thing is—some are.  But not all of them.  A few of them are encouraging family members and friends who want to support you on your new endeavor which makes you feel like you’re not just dieting for yourself but for them, as well.  Pressure.  It’s mounting.  You’re getting closer to the goal date and the expectations are growing.    You wonder…

Am I changing enough?

{Pinching something somewhere no one can see} What about this?  I need to lose “this”.

I am not changing fast enough.  I won’t make it.

There is a voice that pops up in your head about four to five weeks from whatever thing you are dieting for that starts to taunt you.  It says you can’t do this.  It says even if you do “do” this you still won’t look good.  It says that you won’t be able to maintain it so why bother.  It says that you have never done anything right, why will you now.  This voice is adept at getting to your core.  It knows your weak spots.  It’s going to bring up every bad memory that you can think of and when that doesn’t work, it starts threatening you with new ones.  Things that aren’t even related to dieting become the focus of your anxiety.  If you don’t make goal, you won’t get that promotion at the office.  Your husband will figure out you can’t achieve anything you set your mind to therefore he’s probably wondering how you really parent the kids.  The women at the park where you bring your kids won’t want to talk to you if you can’t make your goal.  They’ll laugh at you behind your back and not invite you to things.  Pressure.  Irrational pressure. All of it from you, almost none of it from outside forces.

Our pressure is different than that of other dieters.  We are not trying to attain a waif like body that is gaunt and thin and it is not weight loss “at all costs” either.  We treasure our muscles and love our shape—we just want that shape to be without the ripples and the dimples.   Therefore, when mainstream magazines and shows talk about diet pressure, we tune them out thinking that we don’t qualify.  And we don’t, or at least not with that type of pressure.  But we are type A folks; high achievers.  We get ‘er done and we do it efficiently.  We also want to be recognized for doing so.  Gradually, this goal represents a whole lot more than it did on the onset.  It becomes the litmus for whether we are getting married, graduating college, going to the moon and so on.   And then because of that, it becomes the goal that must happen because there is nothing else.  It’s ‘going down’ because there’s way too many people involved now and too many people know.  Pulling out now means failure everywhere.  Not making goal means failure everywhere.  The saddest thing about this is none of this really matters.  None of it.  The hawk eyes will always be just that—hawk eyes.  And if we weren’t doing this with dieting, we’d be doing this with something else so why can’t we just ease up?

Man, if we thought this was bad, wait til we add in competition from our family and friends.  Oh boy.  Let me know below what your experience has been like with not letting yourself off the hook.  I think we can all relate to this one.  See you tomorrow.  Woop woop!:o)

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