Obviously I have a wise-guy side to me and I occasionally let her loose.  But just as much as I can joke about dieting, I can switch up real quick and become serious about it.  This is one of those days.

January marks a time when we make statements like ‘this is my year’ and ‘I’m not going to be X anymore’ and so on.  It’s a time of declaration of absolutes and professing our allegiance to steadfast mindsets that may or may not be healthy.  We feel the pressure of the world bearing down on us to be healthier, have a better body, fulfill our bucket lists and ‘get-er-done’.  Suddenly we look back on the year in regret instead of thankfulness; disdain instead of pleasure.  As great as Facebook and Twitter are in terms of keeping us connected to our great aunt once removed who lives in Alaska, they are caustic to our self esteem and inner peace because of the constant conflicting chatter that seems to remind us every day how much we have failed.  Everyone seems more successful than us and everyone certainly has a better body.  Somehow, we missed the boat yet again so this is the year that we don’t miss it.  This is the year that we’ll maintain our weight all year long or get those ab lines that we desire.  But as those thoughts circulate in your mind, I ask you quietly, “At what cost?”

Being lean is more than just suffering for the cause.  It’s more than a secret society of really tough chics who talk big talk.  Get on any forum right about now and you have girls lamenting about how hard it is to work out day in and day out and if only the general public adopted their level of discipline.  OH how the world would be different and no one understands how hard it is to workout and diet like they do. If you listen to that long enough, you’re going to begin to think you don’t do enough.  That you’re not good enough.  That you need to diet a little harder, a little longer, lose a little more and so on.  The problem with this is that they are headed down a dark road that has almost no healthy way of return and you are now headed down that road with them, but faster.

I get it that as women we need support.  If we didn’t this blog wouldn’t exist.  But let’s make sure that what we are seeking from the internet is in fact support.  Finding likeminded individuals is key to our survival and making sure we are up on the latest diet/research information is a must.  Sharing successes and woes is a part of this lifestyle as well as subscribing to all the magazines that support clean eating and living.  But there is a limit and that limit is reached when the rhetoric becomes acerbic and you are no longer making decisions based on solid feedback from your pictures/stats/coach but on insecure comparisons coming from the web.  There will always be those louder-than-normal leaders of the pack that update more than the Wall St. ticker tape, post more pics than the Wonderwall website and claim more success than Ed McMahon out patrolling with a cardboard check so don’t allow them to change who you are and how you do things.  They are doing all that because they themselves are insecure.  You hopping in and joining means you are trying to out “insecure” them.  It’s craziness.  Whatever path your diet takes you on, stick with it until you have credible information that says otherwise.  Whatever you originally intended to lose, stick with it unless you have an objective third party say to you, “No, you should lose more.”  Write down all the goals that you want to achieve now and then have them validated by someone sane before you go to put them into action.  I’m telling you, many a metabolism has been broken during this fragile time.

One of the main objectives of this blog and of Jodiojo as a company is to keep you safe and healthy while dieting.  I have given you my story, I have spared you my pain.  Extreme dieting (my downfall), fat burners, questionable ergogenic aids and eventually, hardcore substances, may seem so foreign to you at this moment.  But when you get knee deep in dieting, say mid February, and you have not lost a pound because this is the second, third or maybe fourth time you are “dieting” to get lean, they will become quite attractive to you and I am here to scream “Get your head out of your behind, girl, and get some sense in your head!”.    Here is the way it may play out for you this year:

TWENTY SOMETHING

The majority of your weight is lower body but the more you lose/gain you begin to see that it shifts.  This is a good thing.  You will be slow to lose in the beginning, but it will become more rapid by the end.  Do not come out the gate at full blast.  Increase cardio as you go through your program with it peaking by 8 weeks into your program.  Anything sooner and you’ll screech to a halt.  On average, 1.2 pounds/week will be lost but it won’t come off linearly like that.  It’ll come off in spurts but by the end of 12 weeks, you can be down 14 pounds safely without major rebound.

THIRTY SOMETHING

You are not much different than the 20 something girls except you lose a bit slower.  You average about 0.9 pounds per week with a total weight loss of 11 pounds in 12 weeks without having to kill yourself.  You clean up your lower body faster at this age as this is the ultimate muscle building time.

FORTY SOMETHING AND BEYOND

I made the mistake of not saying and beyond the other day and all my 50 something ladies beat me up in my email.  First, I had no idea there were that many of you reading and second, I will never make that mistake again. In terms of weight loss, though, it is slower.  Much much slower.  The cool thing is you do not lose as much muscle dieting as you do in your 30’s, the crappy thing is that you lose 0.67 pounds per week with a total weight loss of 8 pounds in 12 weeks.  And for some of you, you might have to kick up the intensity to make sure that that happens.

For all age groups, you must:

• Keep your diet open in the beginning and then begin to take away choices as you go along.  Taking out too much too soon stifles progress.

• Increase intensity as the weeks go by.  Do not start your program where you last left off.  Big mistake.

• If you have only had a few months off from dieting, don’t start now.  Wait.  You need at least 4 months in between major dieting programs to achieve any kind of results.  If you start too soon you will stunt your progress and truly frustrate yourself.

• You will not lose weight doing less than what you did before so do not expect much in the beginning of your program.  Give it time for your body to respond.

We owe it to ourselves to do it the right way since we have come this far.  Protect that blessed vessel that you have been gifted with by making sound, prudent decisions during this time of transition.  Honor your health with common sense and emotional well being.  If you need someone to chat with, hit me up.  I’m always around.

Last up…skinny fat.  This is a tough one but shorter than all the rest.  If you see anything not covered but would like more info, let me know below in the comment section.  Woop woop!

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Recently I read an article that debunked the statement that the world is getting dumber every year.  This has been going on for some time now because many people claim that our children are not as smart as generations before them since they can no longer do math by hand or type a straightforward letter.  Simply not true says the article and how they clear this myth up is by saying that the measuring rod is moved up every year to keep the kids looking dumb but in reality their IQ scores are actually 24 points higher than ours were back in the day.  (I, personally, find that hard to believe since rap has eroded into a hodge podge of non-sense otherwise known as Lil’ Wayne and TV has shows like the Kardashians and Jersey Shore dominate the air waves—but hey, what do I know?)  But something is up because I feel like I am caught in a time warp labeled Ground Hog Day and my days are filled with having the same conversation over and over again.  Can’t some things just go away?

I have spoken about Snopes.com and UrbanLegend.com and really love them for getting rid of internet hoax stuff but why can’t we have one for exercise and nutrition?  There would be some serious information removed from the web if this was enacted and it would probably put some magazines out of business. It would also create peace of mind for those of us who are in the business of making hot bodies so we could exit the Vortex of bad information and never ending myths.  I honestly feel like there is some high level conspiracy out there that keeps these myths-a-coming at a rate faster than the average trainer can quench.  (Hence the woman at the gym who still does side bends with weights.)

Seeing as this week is all about reality, it’s only appropriate to continue on from building into the most controversial topics of all, dieting.  We need to dispel some hype behind dieting so that on Monday, when you become the most focused woman to ever hit the planet, it lasts long enough to take you into Tuesday.  Cool?

WHAT IT IS

Dieting is a way of life that starts every Monday.  Somewhere between the ages of 0 and 4 we are taught that anything that tastes good needs to be severely restricted.  By 7 we are fully dieting even though we don’t even need to lose weight.  It is now taught as a part of science in the 7^th grade and shows up at times on the SATs as a “test” question (you know, the ones that don’t count):  “If Jane spends 2 hours on the TM per day, eats only lettuce and chicken for every meal except breakfast for which she has sawdust and pushes her car to work, how much weight will she lose by the end of the week?” Pick from one of the following:

• 1 pound

• 2 pounds

• 3 pounds

• None—she lost her mind on the 2^nd day and tore through her refrigerator like the Tazmanian Devil on crack.  Now she’s up 5.  Is it Monday yet?

TECHNICAL FACTS TO CHEW ON

Training:  Fast and furious.  No circuit training!!  Metabolic confusion all the way.

Food:  Some…but not much.  No matter how much you are told not to, you will over diet.

Supplements:  A few but nothing like building.  Fish oil is a must.

Rest:  As much as possible but since you’ll be ready to digest your innards, you’ll have a hard time sleeping.  Herbal tea comes in handy here.

THE FINE PRINT

All kidding aside (for maybe one paragraph, I can’t promise), there is nothing romantic about dieting.  Some of us begin the dreams of tricked out Coach coolers with designer chicken in them complete with matching Lulu Lemon pants and tops as if that combo has guaranteed a certain amount of weight loss.  And depending on where you are in your weight loss journey, nothing—not even dieting—can guarantee you some weight loss.  However, none of that is going to help you out when you find yourself in week 5 of dieting, down only a pound and fully frustrated that it seemed much easier the first time around.  Psst…it was easier.

First, whatever you did before to get lean is not going to work this time.  Wait, let me repeat that because I know you didn’t hear that and you’re going to shoot me an email that says, “I did such and such before so I’m going to do it again.  Could you tell me…”  and I’m going to be forced to jump through my computer screen and give you a noogie.  Whatever…you did…prior to today…to get lean…will not…that means won’t… “work”…the second time around.  I don’t care if you don’t use marinade on your meat or if you wear a weight vest during cardio; whatever you do the second time around better be better than the first.  Period.

Second, you will not lose like the first time around.  So as you gear up for next week as the week you’re about to put  the smack down on those 13 pounds you deposited this season, know that it will not come off like some kind of linear magic:  Week 1= 2 #, Week 2=2#, Week 3=1#  and so on.  Instead, it will look more like

(X² + Y² – Z_happiness)/significant other = I ^{meltdown at the mall}

and you will lose nothing for about 3 weeks and then suddenly drop 4 pounds in two days and so the madness continues.

Just like building, there are some things you need to consider when embarking on a 12 week diet to lean out:

• You will automatically forget how hard it was the first time and think it should come off easier and faster than it does.

• You have less patience.

• It’s not fun anymore so you are less willing to suffer for the cause.  You will cut corners, nibble, complain, nag, question and doubt from day 1.  This is the same for having babies.  When you get pregnant with number 2, you are in your doctor’s office trying to get an epidural at week 10 of your pregnancy talking about your back hurts already.  It’s a long haul.

• Give yourself an extra 14 days to get back in the groove.  You will be RUSTY on Monday.

• For the first month you will have at least 10 engagements to go to that involve open bar, buffet, dim sum and any other smorgasbord type of arrangement that’s going to remind you how long 12 weeks really is.

• You will lose in the mirror before you do on the scale!!!!!!!  Do not forget this or you will sabotage your progress!

• You will think you are fatter than you really are which will make you make bad dieting decisions.  This is the weight loss factor.  Multiply it by the number of pounds you have to lose and that’s how big you think you are.  WLF=3.  Have to lose 10.  Crap, I’m up 30.

Ok…you know the deal.  Tomorrow I put numbers to this and break it down because as funny as this is, it really is scary and this is where we lose our minds as sane, informed women.  You can diet successfully the second time around; it’s just not as easy as it sounds.  But the good news is it’s doable!  Armed with the right information, you can absolutely make this goal happen as opposed to going in blindsided and crashing and burning by week 4.  Cool?  See you tomorrow.  Woop woop!

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I’m sure some of you have figured out that I have some issues.  From the butter obsession (that I must say I do not indulge upon, just dream about) to my pen/journal  fixation, it is clear that I can come across a bit unhinged at times.  Let me assure you that I have been cured of those afflictions and now sit in a place where I can at least look back at them and giggle.  Another gift that I have been given is learning that is ‘less is more’.  This is one that I hope to instill in you, as well.  This is tough for us type A folks because we are so extreme in all that we do.  If we are going to be an underwater basket weaver, we are going to be THE BEST underwater basket weaver there is.  Knowing me I’d learn how to do it with every possible type of reed available to weave and I’d understudy with a reedologist and I would complete an accredited course on basket weaving and become a certified weaver and—you get the point.  This is a perfect illustration as to why it was so important for me to learn the principle of ‘less is more’ before I became a walking symbol for destruction.

In the case of building muscle when you are lean, less is definitely more.  Or as I like to say, “Just a dab’ll do ya!”.  Give up the dreams of waking up tomorrow with shoulder caps so round you could hang your coat on them.  Walk away from the idea that in 12 weeks you’ll develop your glutes to the point that you could pick up your kids and carry them to the car while your hands are full.  These things are fallacies and because you believe that you can achieve them, you allow your desires to talk your head right out of common sense; because common sense would tell you if it was that easy, everyone would have them.  But you aren’t thinking like that right now.  You have visions of iron clad butt cheeks with tennis ball like caps separated by a rigid 6 pack…it’s scary in your mind right now.  So let’s get you back to reality, girl.  You’re out of control.

Gaining muscle takes time.  There I said it.  It takes time, lots of consistency and due diligence.  And honestly, if you don’t have any of that right now, keep doing what you’re doing until you do have time to do it fully.  (Essentially, if I keep you from thinking about how long it takes and you just keep doing it, you’ll get there without realizing it.  Wait til I tell you tomorrow that developing a tight body takes time, too.  You’ll really flip your lid then.)  Because it takes forever and a day (did I say that?), do not set aside times to specifically gain muscle and lose body fat like they used to back in the day.  You are going down a long dark road doing it that way.  Instead, let’s look at an alternative way to give you the shoulders and glutes you so desire.

YOU’VE GOT MY ATTENTION, NOW WHAT?

Wow.  Fiesty today, are we?  Ok, let’s get specific.

What you need to effectively build is a surplus of calories, ample rest and full recovery from effective workouts.  Since we have come to the conclusion that we are not going to be Arnold by the end of 12 weeks, it is not necessary for us to eat like him either.  An easy way to create a surplus sans calories is to do much less than before.  This means the only activity you would do during this period of time is lift.  No cardio, Zumba, pilates, power yoga or any other activity that makes you sweat.  Nothing.  And you would also rest more than you did before so you will create an even larger surplus of calories.  If you tell me that you cannot rest more because your life is go, go, go kind of busy, I will give you that look that says, “Well then you must not want to build right now then do you?”  Please refer back to Saturday when I said there is no whining and yes you have to do all that I say.  If you can’t cut your schedule down and rest, you can’t build right now.  All of this is important because you are not going to eat too much more than what you are right now maintaining.  At best you may go up 200 cals, but not much more than that so you can see why you becoming part of your couch is necessary.   We do not feed you more, we move you less.  It works really well without all the extra poundage that is incurred through traditional stuffing programs.

WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT?

For all age groups, a bit of paranoia is to be expected.   If you are used to doing cardio 5 days a week right now, going down to none may make you freak out a bit.  You may also be more anxious because you just lost your daily stress relief.  However, it is still a better alternative to the freak out you would have eating extra starches in a day with a steady weight gain on the scale.  That, my dear, is a harrowing experience.  And you can expect minimal weight gain.  Seriously, you should gain no more than 10 but 7 is optimal over the course of 12 weeks.

TWENTY SOMETHING:

You can expect…well…not much.  Your ability to build muscle at this age is like my ability to give you a straight answer without some kind of wisecrack—hard.  You are going to slog away at the weights like it’s your job and have very little to show for it.  Especially if you are curvy.  The curvier you are, the less muscle you will make.  Sorry.  Just accept it.  So why depress you with this?  To keep you from thinking you’re doing something wrong and thereby attempt every lifting program/ergogenic aid under the sun which will in turn screw up your body for your thirties.

THIRTY SOMETHING:

You can expect the world.  At this age, it is at your fingertips.  Hormonally you are ripe for the picking.  You make muscle easier, you have the beginnings of muscle maturity and you aren’t calling your girlfriend every five minutes anymore as to what she is wearing so there is this inner peace and patience about that helps you stay focused.  This is a great age.  Get in the gym now and never come out!

FORTY SOMETHING:

You can expect density.  You will not get “bigger” but what you have will be fuller.  This is the look we all really strive for.  You are past your prime of making muscle and now are on a hormonal decline.  I know that well known dr. type folk are coming out saying the contrary but they are talking about general public making some muscle.  I am talking about you, the lifting elite, making more muscle.  Very different.  It ain’t happening now without a major battle or you being genetically gifted out the wazoo.  But you are in the age of making nice, full shoulder caps without trying.  Not two oranges sitting atop your clavicles, but a subtle attractive fullness that comes from muscle maturity.  And boy do we have focus now at this age.  Not only are we not calling our girlfriends, we are lucky if we keep our phones on.  And rest is not an issue.  We’re in bed by 9.  Shame.

I will put numbers to all of this when I wrap this series up.  Next up, dieting.  What you can really expect and how long it takes to truly get that lean look.  I will end with a talk on skinny fat because it is a daunting place to be and someone needs to put that reality out there for some of you.  I will put the numbers in that post or the one right after it but I promise to give you something very concrete to walk away with.  If you are signed up on the blog, you are getting the numbers today.  That is an advantage of being signed up.  Hang tight, there’s more to come!  Woop woop!

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…pounds that is.  And lots of them.

Building is a myth of epic proportions for women.  Not so much for men, but for women–oh yeah it is.  Whenever I talk to a woman who’s in a building phase, I normally stand there silent, in awe of what she thinks is going on vs. what really is going down.  Typically her trainer has her taking more pills than a senior in assisted living, eating enough food for a small army and lifting like a psycho while she “builds” this ginormous amount of muscle in 8 to 10 weeks.  On the surface, some of that is true.  You will build some muscle in that time period; but nowhere near the amount that you think you’re going to build if you are doing it naturally and you will be left wondering if the price was worth it.

I want to remind you that I am all about all natural before I go on any further.  I mean no fat burners or hormonal help in any way other than all natural sources.  I have no issues with things like creatine and bcaa’s but I will not even entertain the idea of anything else you can dream up that’s on the market today that serves as some type of precursor to testosterone or the like.  This makes a huge difference as you read on because I’m sure you are going to say in your head that this isn’t true and that you know of such and such who did so and so in 10 weeks and she looks amazing.  And then you find out she took xyz and that just killed this comparison.  And trust me; if she looked like that in 10 weeks, she was taking xyz.

As a coach, building in the traditional sense is a kiss of death.  If you tell me you want to take time to build, you are essentially telling me you are preparing yourself to walk the plank and end your fitness training right then and there.  Why the drama?  (Besides the fact that that is my middle name?) Read on…

WHAT IT IS

Building is a period of time where you lift heavy and eat in a caloric surplus to support your lifting.  Recovery is essential during this time in terms of both food and rest and ample attention needs to be paid to how much you are gaining weekly vs. how much you originally weighed so you are not just gaining fat during this time.  This is done through carefully increasing the amount of food that you eat over a period of time while watching the scale for major increases in weight.  Extra activity is cut back and becoming a hermit is a must.  Short of not shaving your legs anymore and letting your eyebrows grow out, you basically adopt a life of baseball hats and big sweatshirts.

TECHNICAL FACTS TO CHEW ON

Training:  Heavy.

Food:  A lot.  Like a wicka-lah.

Supplements:  Expensive. No seriously.  Don’t buy a house or condo before you embark on a building program.  You may not make the payments.

Rest:  Minimum 8 hours of sleep but really, you’ll need more than that.

THE FINE PRINT

Honestly, the program itself is not the thing that I want you to focus on.  You can find a great building program from some of the most notable names out there so there’s no need spending time quibbling those facts.  What I want to talk about is what you WON’T find on the web about building, being natural and being a woman.

First, if you are interested in a building program, you most likely have already gone through a dieting program of some kind and realized you ain’t got no muskel.  NONE.  If you did, you would not be so concerned with building.  You probably lost a good amount of body fat and realized that you were all lower body and no upper and you need take 12 weeks to “build some shoulders”.   This is pretty straight forward, just eat a little extra and lift a little heavier and you’ll be on your way to the new and improved you.  Only it doesn’t go down that way and the amount of weight you can gain in the first few weeks of building can send you into a tailspin that sets up the next 16 weeks of dieting to get it off.

Second, if you are natural and female and you spent the entire year lifting in a building phase, you’d be lucky if you put on 2 pounds of muscle.  Go read the titles of your average man’s magazine:  “Gain 5 pounds of muscle in a year!”, “Follow this protocol for the ultimate gains”, “Max gains in minimum time” and “Gain X pounds of muscle in 6 months”.  Now that’s for men…on the cover of a non-natural man’s magazine…that’s what they’d gain in a year…and they are genetically predisposed to gain muscle.  So stop and think about what this says about you…a female…who wants to build for 10 weeks…naturally…while you have the genetic disposition of a noodle.  So you put on say 10 pounds of weight only to gain less than a half pound of muscle.  Yeah…good luck with that.

Lastly, you have no idea what  you are about to take on emotionally.  This all sounds fine and dandy on paper, but when you put this into practice—you lose your mind.

• You eat more so you feel full.  Feeling full makes you feel fat.  It doesn’t make you fat, you just feel fat.

• You typically eat more carbohydrate than normal.  You don’t have to go crazy with it, but you have more ST than you normally would.  This means you carry more water and you will feel it all over.  Instantaneously your thighs are bigger.  In real life they aren’t, but as far as you’re concerned they just became water filled Lincoln logs.  You will think that everyone can see that you just swallowed a baby beluga and you are ready to deliver it at any second.

• Eating becomes a full time job and it begins to wear you down.  You will hate chewing, chicken and choices.  Everything seems the same and all you want is a break from eating another meal.

• You become stressed from the amount of pills you are swallowing.  Every meal is just another reminder of the pill sac sitting in your purse that you need to chug down sometime during the day and you look like you have a major illness when you’re out to lunch with a friend popping them all.

• Every time you go somewhere and run into someone who saw you when you were leaner, you say hi to them with a caveat attached:  “Hey girl, how are you?  I’m good.  I’m building right now.”  As in…that’s-why-I-am-in-a-baseball-cap-and-sweat-suit.  Soon you’ll just put a name tag on yourself and carry a picture of what you used to look like before you started building.  Really right now?

Once you are lean, stay lean.  Tomorrow we talk about what this really needs to look like for you to make it happen, how it varies by your age, how much you can truly gain before you are setting yourself up for failure and how to get around constantly making an excuse for how you look.  Cool?  Woop woop! )

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I think one of the things that plague us as women is constantly wondering if what we are doing is enough.  Honestly, I could also go so far as to say it is just constantly wondering X and then you insert the fear here (x=if I’m good enough, if I’m the only one who…, if I’ll ever be…) but that’s been brought up here so I’m going to be more specific today in referring to if what we are doing measures up to “enough”.

The obvious question here is enough for what?  Enough for weight loss?  Enough for muscle gain?  And boy is this a tough question to have you answer just off the cuff.  If I ask you ‘enough for what’,  you will say in one breath that you want to get lean, add muscle, be more athletic and have 2 babies all before lunch time.  And I have learned not to be so silly as to say, “Which one means the most to you?”, because that question opens up a one hour dialogue about the meaning of life that you were not ready to answer thereby sending you into a tail spin (and me for a drink).   I’m not going to do that today so you can calm down and keep reading.  I am sure you did a nose dive under your table getting ready to rock back and forth in fetal position fearing one my probing moments with you (unless you’ve never spoken with me before and then you’re an innocent victim waiting to be had by one of my conversations. Hehe…) but I can assure you that is not the point of this.  Today is all about defining—but you know me…this may go further after that—and the next few posts are about the actual guidelines.

WHAT ARE WE LOOKING AT HERE?

First, let me just say before I even begin to talk about what’s enough, no whining!  NONE.  I already know the texts, calls and emails are about to follow when I put this out here that ask me, “Do I really have to do all that?”  Yes.  You do.  Now knock it off.  What?  Do you think I’m writing for some sick sadist side of me that needs appeasing?  I’ll admit I have my days but for the love of all that’s holy I’d never put those days in print.  So, yes, you must do all to get what I am saying—if you are the genetically average.   If you have anything exceptional in your genes, then you need to “chew the meat and spit out the fat” as they say as to what pertains to you or not.  But other than that, there is no compromise.

Second, I am going to break this down by goal and within each goal I am going to further delineate it by age group.  For instance, I may give a general over view of what ‘building’ is and then go into what that looks like for a 40-50 year old, a 30-40 year old and a twenty something because it is dramatically different for all three.   If you are 45 and think you want to “build” like a 20 year old, you’re in for a big disappointment and most likely major weight gain in the process.  Our needs are different and need to be acknowledged as being different.

Lastly, I’m going to do this in a way that is very different from what you are probably used to seeing.  I promise to be somewhat technical, but I’m mostly going to be realistic.  Meaning that I want you to know what it really looks like to put these goals in action.   The burnout, the discipline required, the places you could awry, potential weight gain and other issues that crop up when we put this into effect.   They are way more important than any technical information and let me give you an idea of what this looks like:

Say I am talking about building muscle.  Most women think that you just lift heavy for 12 weeks and then you build a ton of muscle.  Seriously, I have people say I want to build my shoulders this winter.  Um…good luck with that.  It takes a whole lot more than a winter to build great shoulders.  But they’ve read somewhere that they need to eat X amount of calories more and set their lifting up in such a way that they get the max recovery and take advantage of the EPOC and so on.  Good info for sure and I will certainly have some of that info in there, as well, but I will also have a whole section called “Walking This Out”.  This section forces you to think about the emotional cost of gaining weight over the winter and all that comes with a building program.  It sounds romantic and fun when presented as this “amazing 12-week program to shape you”, it’s a whole other thing when you are at your holiday Christmas party up 10 pounds and feeling puffy.  At that point, you couldn’t care less about your shoulders and you are more worried that someone’s going to shoot your picture and put it in the company newsletter.

ARE YOU JUST GOING TO DEPRESS ME?

No!  Let me say this as nicely as I can… NO, now stop looking for an excuse to stop pursuing your goal!  Why are our New Year’s Resolutions never successful?  (Besides the fact that people bite off more than they can chew and the whole concept in and of itself is so cliché…) Because we do not count the cost ahead of time.  Some of us rush out into excitement and hop on the latest and greatest fad but that’s not normally the clean eating community.  For us it is more like whatever we choose we choose it because it is solving that current problem.  “If I just lose some body fat, I’ll be able to fit into my jeans and then I’ll be happy…”  But then in the middle of that quest, you realize that toting all your food around and not going to social functions made you more unhappy than the ten pounds you wanted to lose in the first place so you end up abandoning that goal in midstride.  For every goal you abandon, there is a closet in your mind that opens up and accepts that failure and piles it on top of all the others and then just when you need confidence the most—the door pops open and reminds you just how good you aren’t.  Let’s avoid that this year by knowing what we’re getting into when we set our goals and then putting the appropriate things in place to deal with the drawbacks.

For instance, in the case above we would talk about short term pain vs. long term gain.  What does it matter what people thought of you (and I really make you answer this and warning: it can be eye opening) and truth be told, you being 10 pounds up is still better than 80% of the office staff so why the worry.   When you think this through BEFORE you get to the party and BEFORE you put the goal in motion, it changes the entire situation and you are able to deal with it head on instead of being blindsided by it while holding a shrimp cocktail in your hand.

How about we get on with it already then?  Look forward to this being my next mini-series and I hope you enjoy.  I am not sure that I will start it tomorrow or Monday but you know if you are signed up on my blog or if you get me via RSS, you will be notified.   Until we meet again, start pondering ‘what’s the goal?’.  Cool?  WOOP WOOP!:o)

Next Post in Series

If you live in New England, I am sure you noticed that today is markedly different than last week’s balmy December weather.  We’ve gone from global warming to bun warming in less than a week with you sitting on your car engine to provide the bun warming.  It’s right about now that you start to question your resolve for “getting out for a good run”.  But then knowing that sends me into Dr. Mercola mode (you know, Chicken Little, the sky is falling, everything is going to make you flabby and so on) where I have to give you the ins and outs of using running as a means to sculpting a great body lest you go crazy and run yourself into the ground on a treadmill instead.   Using running as your only means of cardio can be done but in the long run it’s a lot of work and it doesn’t always pay off.   Depending on what kind of runner you are dictates what type of approach you should take to make or maintain your shape.  Read on…

(Is it bad that I have the space heater blowing directly on my legs right now as I type?  Brrrrr…)

Best heater ever.  I’m about medium well right now.  Almost done.

Plug and Chug

I read somewhere that the average woman runs a 9:30-10:00 min mile and in the running world, that’s not very fast.  And in the physique world, that’s not even cardio.  And I am not saying that to be mean, I am saying that to be honest.  You know if I let you go the whole winter doing that and knew it wasn’t going to get you anywhere, you’d be mad that I didn’t tell you.  So let’s unruffle the feathers here and get to changing your body, yes?  For instance, I have a favorite “walk spot” that I go to when I need to clear out my mind and if I’m really worked up over something I can find myself walking at a heinous pace.  Whenever this happens I always seem to pass someone on a ‘run’ by a good clip.  Now there is something wrong with that and although they’re most likely going to be on their run longer than I’ll be doing my walk, I’m still doing more work than them.  The take-home from this?  Make sure your run is challenging, first and foremost.  No puttering.

Second, if you’re slow, you’re slow.  Don’t try to go faster, you’ll most likely injure yourself but then you cannot run 5 days a week as your cardio—you’re going to have to mix that up.  You can either:  add in hills, cross train with another piece of cardio or add specific bouts of speed into the mix at specific times so that they are limited and controlled.   I’ll be honest; I’m never a fan of 5 days of running unless you are preparing for a marathon.  At that point I’ll cut you some slack otherwise mix it up.   See below for how to add controlled speed into the program.

Going Nowhere Fast

Have I mentioned lately that it’s cold?  And if you are not “all about the run” or getting ready for an event, chances are you have moved your run indoors.  If you want to do that that’s cool but there are some things you need to know if your body is the main reason why you run.

• Running on the treadmill is not the same as running outdoors.  Now I know that “runners” may know this because you are dramatically faster on a treadmill than you are outside but you may not think about this if you don’t care how fast you are.  When you run outside you propel yourself forward and engage more of the backside but when you run on a treadmill, you are just jumping up and down in place.  Not the same thing.

• Sprinting on a treadmill is bad news and sprinting on a treadmill on an incline is even badder.  Can I say that? Well, maybe not, but truly, it is worse because it completely changes your gait.  Why do you care?  Because cardio never ends for us; there is no place for injury or any time for program interruption.  Jack up your knee and you’re going to lose your mind.  You’re not a run nut so you won’t work out through pain, instead you’ll bring yourself down to chicken and green beans for your entire knee rehab and that’s crazy.

• But since you are on a treadmill, odds are that you can hop off and go do some really crazy stuff like plyos and cranks and then hop back on.  Or maybe you can do a triathlon in your gym by swimming first (elliptical w/arms), biking second (upright is better than recumbent) and then running third.  Going from one to the other can be challenging and you’ll have a better workout session because you are not just slogging through forty minutes on the treadmill alone.

Out and About

If it is all about you and the pavement and you are somewhat on the faster side, then these guidelines can help you to get somewhere in terms of your physique this winter:

• Sprint two days per week in your runs by adding anywhere from 400m to 800m speed work in your run.  I know, you have no idea what 400m looks like so let’s add 90 sec to 3 min speed surges to your run after you have been on the road for at least 10 min.  Add them in so that you can do at least 5 of them in your total run and leave at least 5 min on the run that you can use to cool down.

• Run one whole day at a pace 0:30 sec faster than usual.  This doesn’t sound like a lot until you actually do it and then you realize it’s a major challenge.  Added challenge:  add 60 sec surges in to this run.  You’ll be dying by the end but this is exactly what you want and need.

The Big Picture

What is this really all about?  Doing the same cardio, same time, same run route and same pace day in and day out is the best and fastest way to plateau on your physique goal.  If you really want to change your body or keep on changing your body you have to change your run or it will not help you—it will hurt you.  I know what you’re thinking…you don’t do the same run, there are days you go longer than others.  Yes, but it’s still the same run unless you have changed your pace dramatically. Out of 4 days of running, you have to have at least 2 of those runs make you pant harder than a dog hanging out a car window or you’re wasting your time.  However, if you are the polar opposite and every run you do is an Olympic tryout, then you must have 2 runs per week at a slightly easier pace to mix it up.  If you keep it stagnate, your body will, too.

Remember, what we are all about is longevity in the life of leanness.  And this series is about using the 5K to lose 5 pounds or more.  Overall, this journey is a marathon—not a sprint–and if you want a body that lasts and lasts while being lean, you have more factors to think about besides just the here and now.   If you’re stuck and need pointers, comment below and I’ll be happy to help you out.  Cool?  Woop woop!:o)

Previous Series Post

Something about Brody’s confession of eating his supper, Heather’s supper, part of the sofa, two of his chew toys and a squirrel really disturbed Santa.  Maybe he’ll get his Christmas wish of self control after all…

Over the past 3 days we’ve been in denial, walking the plank and cycling around town all in the name of recognizing our behavior so we can stop the cheat meal from becoming the cheat week.  Right about now I would love to be able to give you some cute little bullets with pat little answers that says if you feel this way, do that or if you feel that way, do this.  Clearly, it’s not that simple so bear with me as I give you some insight as to what you are looking at in terms of moving beyond the issue without really “curing” your ailment.  Remember, all of these issues are conditions of the mind—not body so there is not any physical solution to shut these issues down.

Denial

If you have not had the denial meltdown, yet, you’re going to think you are invincible so anything I say here is moot.  Keep reading my blog until you do melt down and then come back to this and pick up where you left off.  But if you are past the point of thinking you’re Wonder Woman but not so past that you’ve changed your behavior, here are some things to help you through this stage:

• OWN the fact that you are not doing something that is amazing and worth endless praise.  Thinking that everybody should notice how strong and dedicated you are sets you up for feeling like a major fraud when you lose your tree on a box of cereal when you get home.  Because you are going to lose your tree on a box of cereal eventually…

• DO NOT worry about what others think of you.  Honestly, most folks are so wrapped up in their own stuff that you could pass out at the dessert table and they still wouldn’t notice never mind you not having a treat.  Honestly, I am a pretty attentive person and have a tremendously giving heart and even I would be challenged to notice you if you went down in front of real butter sugar cookies.  I’m just sayin’.  And I love you.  Imagine a room full of folks who couldn’t care less about you.  It’s tough out there.

• STOP thinking that you are the only one of your friends/family/colleagues that is healthy and no one has your dedication and so on.  That may be true but when you have a rough spot—and you will—you will be too embarrassed to own it with anyone to deal with it.  Do not forget that denial is not TRUE “will power”.  It is a false mentality set up by a really strong goal.  Once that goal is gone, ‘you is in trouble, girl’.

Rigidity

If you’re wondering if you are rigid or not, ask yourself if you got annoyed or even mad when you read my definition of rigidity.  If you thought at any point that that’s just what dedication looks like or that’s not me and I’m not changing my routine or shut up, you’d be rigid.  I also expect you to realize you are rigid one of two ways:  you read the definition and break down crying or you one day realize no one wants to hang out with you anymore.   Either one is a good indicator.  Here’s something for you to think about:

INNER DIALOGUE is your friend and you need to create an effective one for many scenarios that you find yourself in.

I can’t miss a workout this week or eat off plan.

Why?

Because I can’t.  I’ll be off my plan.

So?  What’s going to happen?

I won’t make my goal.

Really?  And if so, ok…then what?

Well, I have to make my goal.

Have to?  Why?  You gonna self destruct if not?

No.  Don’t be stupid.  But I want to make my goal.

Well that’s good but ‘wanting to’ and ‘having to’ are not the same thing.

You see where I am going and why this is important.  Put this in perspective for yourself when that inner voice rises up and tells you that you are useless unless you are in shape or that you are lazy because you took a day off from working out when you had bronchitis.  And follow the rabbit trail all the way to the end so you can snuff out this argument the next time it comes up.

Eat Cheat Cycle

Unfortunately, this is the hardest of all three cycles to break from because it’s not so extreme and noticeable.  You can go a really long time before owning the fact that you are doing this and then when you figure out you are doing it, you can go even longer before changing it.  This requires:

• HONESTY.  First admit that you can’t get it done.  Seriously.  Cry Uncle and stop the madness.

• INTROSPECTION.  Why are you fighting for this goal in the first place when it’s obvious you don’t want it.

• OWNERSHIP.  Once you know what it is, take responsibility for it.  Don’t try to put another goal on it to silence it.

• ACTION.  Whatever it is you are avoiding, you need to face it, deal with it and then move on from it.

If you are in this cycle you may have said any of the following:

The reason I can’t stay on plan is because it’s too strict.

Actually, the reason is because it’s not strict enough.

Or it’s too complex, I need something simple.

Or it’s too much to put together.  Can’t you just give me a menu.  I don’t want to think.

I can’t make it after work.   I need to go to the morning.

I can’t go in the morning, can you make it Fri thru Sun?

Anybody?  Sound familiar?  You are in the Cycle then…

I hope this helps you somewhat.  I have had to go through some serious inner dialoguing, getting over myself and ownership to get to a point where the only thing that can really take me down now is the food itself.  That’s a better place to be than to be fighting yourself AND the food.  There are many other things to consider—it’s not just one—so look at this as one aspect of your journey to maintain this lifestyle beyond the first 12 weeks…

I tend to write in series because it makes it more interesting and I get the chance to develop it more.  If you have a weighty topic you are looking for some answers for, hit me up below or shoot me an email.  Either way, if I can delve into it, I will.  We have to keep our heads on tight if we want to make our bodies right.  Cool?  Woop woop!:o)

I don’t know about you (Actually that’s a lie, I do know about you but I’m going to act like I don’t know about you so you can stop feeling like I’m staring at you—and just you.:) but I notice that for most of us struggles with cheats, treats and chocolate (yes, it gets its own category) come in cycles.  We’re not always struggling and we’re not always winning.  We have moments or seasons, if you will, of chaos and mayhem that take us down more than normal and begin to chip away at our dieting confidence until we feel like we “suck”, “we’ll never get it done”, “why bother” and so on.  The best thing we could ever do at this time is go to maintenance eating but that’s actually the last thing we do and so begins the battle.

Heather the slave driver putting them through and endless up/down cycle of cardio.

How Does This Happen In The First Place?

Sadist Masochism.  No really, we love to torture ourselves.  I think some of us are so good at this that we have it down to such a degree that we can determine the level of torture we want to inflict on ourselves based on whatever drama is going on in our lives at the time.  Lots of drama means we drag out big whips and chains and cat-o-nine tails in the form of huge weight loss and per4mance goals and not so much drama means we want to just take off a few pounds here and there.  Ever done this?…

Aunt Betty Ann* has a big work project coming to completion at her workplace.  She’s been on the project for a while and it is finally coming to a close within the next 6 weeks or so. It’s a huge project and the tension at the job is thick. Three months from now is a big race that ABA wants to run in and she’s been waiting all year for it to come around.  Four months from now ABA’s sister is getting married and she’s going to be in the wedding.  Suddenly ABA feels like she needs to lose at least 10 pounds for the wedding.  She knows the race will help with a few extra pounds—she hopes—but the stress of all that’s going on begins to weigh on her.  So what does ABA do?  She starts a 16 week diet to get ready for her sister’s wedding (because that’s exactly what we would all do) but she can’t stick to it for the life of her.  She’s nibbling, dabbling and wavering more than she’s dieting and working out.  Of course she thinks it’s because the plan’s not strict enough and she has too much choice so she changes what she’s eating from chicken, broccoli and an occasional sweet potato to wallpaper paste, shoe leather and dust (you know those earlier choices were taking her down).  Now that her diet is more realistic, she should stick to it, right?  NOPE.  Now she thinks it’s her workout schedule and she’s not working hard enough to stay focused because she keeps finding herself eating a lit bit of this and a little bit of that.  Finally, ABA realizes that she’s not going to make goal so she scraps the diet and throws caution to the wind.  Does this sound familiar?

When I first started to come across this scenario years ago, I used to believe that it was the busy schedule that made ABA unsuccessful at staying on track.  I would tell her she was nuts for trying to diet during all of that commotion and to either wait until everything calmed down or zip some things out now.  But then I began to realize that she wasn’t interested in dieting when it all calmed down.  At that point, she was happy with herself (kind of) and was really in a maintenance way of thinking and what was really going on was her trying to manage her chaos through the scale.  This is really destructive in nature but is such a pattern with type A women that it needs a name.  I’m working on it.

What we do is find something we can mother all over while everything else in our lives is “going to he** in a hand basket” because as far as we’re concerned, our weight is controllable.  Now is it really?  NO.  But we think it is at the time and we’re going to whip it around like an amusement ride at the Brockton Fair.  I’m not going to build this now although I have a lot to say about this topic because it is SUPER relevant to us but it’s too big to tackle in this post.  But I am going to say that this is a function of emotion more than it is a physical issue that you can just control.  “Not eating the treat” is not going to work so knock it off and trying to tighten up the diet to make you stop is even more pointless.   Stop beating yourself up because you can’t stop eating the cookies on the counter and start inner dialoguing with yourself about how you can focus your attention elsewhere while you are dieting.

This is THE most common of the three scenarios presented and unlike the other two, there’s very little resistance here.  This is the one that can make you gain weight because you are not denying anything.  You are not focused–you are just wrecking shop.  Every day you “try” to get it done and every day you say you’ll do better tomorrow.  Twenty pounds later, you realize you’ve gone through 45 “tomorrows”.  There are other reasons for this, too, besides the one above:

• You denied yourself for so long (scenario #2) that you have begun to unravel and can no longer justify locking it down anymore.

• Your head has not caught up with your heart.  This happens when you keep shooting for a goal that you really do not want anymore but have not taken the time, yet, to reconcile that with your head so you keep gunning for it.

• You want something for all the wrong reasons and your heart is smarter than your brain.

• You’ve lost passion for the goal.  You want what you originally fell in love with but somehow that has been stained by reality in some way and you can’t admit that.

These are permutations of the same thing, pick which one is yours.  I suffered from 3 of the 5 and it took me a long time to get my head back in the game.  Some of you have sent me some of the best emails with battle scars as to what this looked like for you and how you came out on top afterward.  I want you to know that I have heard all that you have said and am using some of it tomorrow as I talk about how to move beyond all 3 eat-cheat cycles.

Email me or leave a comment below if you have a story you want to share or have any questions on what I’ve talked about so far.  I would love to hear from you: Jodi@trans4mationstation.com or add it below.

Suggestions come tomorrow! Woop woop!!:o)

*Depending on how long you’ve known me and I’ve been telling you stories, Aunt Betty Ann is a regular on the scene.  She’s completely fictional alongside her husband Uncle Peanut, cousin TayTay and Frank.  Try and keep up with them.

I must say I know a thing or two about being Type A.  Journal with matching pen set anyone?

I am a stickler about certain things in life and one of biggest things that I am adamant about is being flexible in how we live.  Take that in for a minute…read it slow…ponder that statement. Ha!  Trying to live by hard and fast rules when the world is changing by the hour is difficult and exhausting.  It’s also abnormal and a bit obtrusive to others but who’s noticing?  But the real concern that I have with it is rigidity which is this hardness that comes over someone who has pretty much frozen out the world and lives in this igloo otherwise known as their body.   I am sure you think you are “getting it done” but in real life you look like a stepford wife going through the motions.  This is some scary stuff when it happens and I pray if this is you, go stand by the fire known as relational love and thaw out. (said with tremendous sincerity)

Just like denial, on the outside you look normal and right now you may be thinking that this is not bad—‘what do you know, Jodi?’ It’s only when you let people talk to you for a while, spend quality time with you or eat with you that they realize something is not right.   You might count your blueberries in the morning and if you should have 20 but accidentally had 21, you melt down.  You might eat the same thing every day and if you have turkey instead of chicken, must go back and recalculate all that you ate for the day “just in case”.  Or to make sure that you are “still on track”.  Or whatever reason you may give as THE reason for such extreme behavior.  At surface level you can justify your behavior as being disciplined, driven, goal oriented…but underneath there lies a beautiful woman who is afraid that if any move right or left is made outside of her plan then her wonderful house of cards is going to come tumbling down.

To the untrained eye you do come off as disciplined because who wouldn’t want to be that focused?  You would have never struggled with the dessert table yesterday.  Not only could you stand by it, you could have assembled it, got some on your fingers while serving it to someone and washed it off like nothing touched you.  I, personally, would have licked myself clean like a cat in public with no shame but we have already discussed my weak behind.  Moving on…  Honestly, you would have been admired by many at the function but not by everyone because some of us would have seen the trouble brewing.

I want to make sure I clarify all that I am about to say because this can be hard to accept when you first read it.  It’s not the discipline that is the problem.  It’s not the fact that you wouldn’t lick yourself down like a postage stamp if you had the chance.  What it is, is subtle and hard to put your finger on at first glance but essentially you are rigid.  There is no deviation.  None.  There is no plan B.  It’s not in the works.  It can’t happen.  It won’t happen.  Your family is on hold.  Your work is on hold.  Your day is on hold until you can fulfill whatever needs to happen to make plan A continue on without a hitch.  Because if it doesn’t…WHOA.  You cannot put humpty dumpty back together again.  And the main reason why rigidity needs to be nipped in the bud is if this is how you are managing cheats then let’s face it, it does not stop at food.  You are rigid with life.  You are the woman who I talk to that I can see fear in the back of your eyes while you tell me everything is great.  You ask me questions with an intensity that makes me uncomfortable.  Almost as if I don’t answer this right, you could possibly do something.  You don’t really smile.  You do not let loose.  There are no nibbles—that’s not in the plan.  There are no unplanned, unstructured meals.  It’s unacceptable.  But with that there are no days that you run in the rain, spontaneously hug your children, call in “well” to work and do spa day, there is no living in any way, shape or form.  You have locked down all possibilities in life other than the one that you planned on that morning.  This is no way to manage cheats and this is no way to manage life.  When this ball of yarn unravels it’s not pretty and it can take longer to put it back together than it did to create it in the first place.  If you think this is you, open up about to someone you trust and begin to live.

I have been blessed in my career to have some of the best conversations ever that usually start with, “Jodi, you’ll be really proud of me.  X, Y, Z happened today and I didn’t flip out.  Instead I, …” Can I be so honest with you and tell you that I have hung up the phone and cried—depending on who it was maybe even sobbed–over some of those conversations because they have meant so much to me and truly made everything I have ever done in my life worth it.  LIVING LIFE IS EVERYTHING.  Not managing it. LIVING IT.

We have one more woman to talk about tomorrow.  I hope you meet me here.  I’ll be looking for you. Woop woop!!:o)

Do you mind if I ask you a question?  Why do we as women think we are so tough?  Where did this come from?  I mean really…when did this happen?  I have been having some of the most interesting conversations in the last month or so that always leave me wondering, ‘who is she fooling?’  I am not even referring to clients, although I have had a few of those too.  But normally, if I am bringing it to the blog, it’s not a client situation that I am referring to.  So back to my question:  who are we fooling?  And why are we pretending so hard?

I’m sure you know me enough by now to know that I’m getting to something so why don’t I just get to it already, eh?

I get tons and tons of questions in my line of work.  Tons.  But some of them show up more often than not.  I told you about the tight bum one and the stretch marks on the tummy/thighs but another one that is rearing its ugly head again that we need to put on the table is:

Why can’t I stop cheating on my diet?  How do I have a cheat meal and not continue to eat like that for 3 days?

I have hit this topic from a physical standpoint by telling you foods that are completely off limits if you are dieting for a specific reason but if you are not and you just want to live this life, you really do need to learn how to navigate the world of forbidden foods with greater finesse than just straight denial.  Trying to abstain forever will never work and basically you are setting yourself up for failure.  Let’s look at some of the ways we try to do this and see where we go wrong in them.

I Don’t See That Chocolate, Do You?

Ok, this has to be the WORST way to manage your life and I hope that if you are doing this now that you will work hard to find other more effective ways to keep from eating treats.  This is the official “tough girl” approach that lasts as long as the passion for the initial goal does.  Once that goal is gone, you have a better chance locking yourself out of a car you are sitting in than you do locking down your desire for a treat.  If you think that the steel resolve you have now will last forever, I have a jar of peanut butter on my desk right now that says it won’t.  I’m just sayin’.  So let’s all be honest and get out of denial cuz we’re getting wet here.

And please do not let me make you feel like you are the abnormal one here.  I am as human as you all are and I will be the first one to admit that to you.  So, why am I talking about this?  Because I was once a “tough girl”, myself, and a very good one at that, and then one day…

Honestly, mom.  I tried to lock it down.  But then that frosting just called my name.  Shame.

I have learned first hand that denial is not only ineffective, it’s torment.  For instance, back in the day when I had zero sense in my head and dieted for events, I would be somewhere like a bbq or what-have-you and they would have a full dessert table set out with all kinds of yummy stuff.  I wouldn’t get 10 feet near that table and would stick to whatever I brought or allowed on my diet at the time.  Now there’s nothing wrong with that if I had a normal reaction to the table which would be more the way it is now.  If I walked by the table today, I may survey a bunch of stuff on there, choose a small piece of something or nothing at all but I could walk by the table completely unaffected. Not back in the day, though, I avoided the table because if you stood me in front of it, tough girl would show up and say, “No, really.  I’m good.”  But the real girl on the inside of me would be screaming in my head, “DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THIS SPREAD.  PLEASE.  IS THAT REAL BUTTER OVER THERE?  HOLY COW!!  ARE YOU KIDDING?  AND THE CHOCOLATE!  I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW YOU COULD COVER THAT IN CHOCOLATE!  IT’S EVERYWHERE!  STOP, YOU’RE KILLING ME!!!!”  My face, however, wouldn’t give away anything.  Aside from the odd sweat bead that would form on my forehead, I’d be cool as a cucumber.

Now, seriously, is that anyway to live?  For the rest of the night you are AWARE that there is a table with treats on it.  And you’re going to leave there proud of yourself that you held out only to get home and eat 1.5 cups of oatmeal w/ chocolate protein powder and raspberry preserves talkin’ ‘bout, “Mmmm, that was good.”  Riiiigggghhht.  That’s why you just ate 3 servings worth and emptied the jar of preserves in the oatmeal…because it didn’t do “the trick”.

What ensues after an encounter like this is pure chaos and mayhem inside of you for at least 3 days, but possibly more.

There’s resentment: Why can’t I have a treat.  What the heck?  It’s not going to hurt me.  Everyone else can have a treat.

There’s bitterness: I bet someone got sick off of that stuff.  And if they did, they deserved it.  They shouldn’t be eating that stuff anyway.  That’s why they’re all (fill in whatever blank you want here).

There’s paranoia: I should have just had a piece.  No, I would never be able to stop and then I’d gain a bunch of weight and then I’d never be able to work out again and then I…

Finally, there’s platitudes: If I want to look like everybody else, then I’ll eat like everybody else.  I need to Just Do It.  Rome wasn’t built in a day.  And so on…

And when all this finally calms down in our heads and we are done torturing ourselves 2-3 days later, I go back to my original question and ask you, “Who are you fooling?”  the same way I finally asked myself, “Who am I fooling?”  None of what just went down was “tough” unless you are referring to the torment itself.  I didn’t accomplish anything because although I didn’t take my angst out on the dessert table, I took my angst out on myself which is 20 times worse.

Denial is number one, The Plank is number two.  We talk about that tomorrow.  Yes, we’ll get on the better side of this when I am done laying it out because there is one.   Woop woop!!:o)