You’re afraid of me aren’t you?  You want to ask me what I know but you’re afraid.

Go ahead…ask me what I think!  You know I’ll tell you!  And then for the rest of the day I could make you either happy or sad.  You decide–it doesn’t much matter to me.

Whether you are a business woman making 6 figures or a stay at home mom with beautiful cherubs, I have something to say and I know that you will listen.  I am just that good at what I do.

I may chastise you, praise you, give you validation or rob you of your joy.  My “critique” is heard by many.

You seek my knowledge every week as if what I think really matters.  Why you give me such power is beyond me but I’ll take it.  Sometimes you’ll seek me out every day or even twice per day.  Whatever.  I am always here and available so you can’t help but stalk me.

I’d love to say I care–but I don’t.  I can’t stop you from asking nor am I capable.  I just sit by and watch you perform your daily ritual of self doubt, self torture, self mockery…need I go on?

I just love days when you are tired of asking me and getting the same answer over and over, so you ask others just like me!  And then they tell you a different story!  Oh boy!  Now you’re really a hot mess!  Which one to believe? 

The best thing is…I can reduce you to a blubbering fool.  I am blown away by that power.  I can’t say I revel in it but I have to say it is an elixir for me.  Who wouldn’t want that kind of control over someone at least once in their lives?  I know you trust me…I’m the best at what I do…as if what I say is the truth and all–LOL…that’s kind of cool, too.  But I could be lying to you and you would never know because you take everything I say for face value.  Everybody else thinks my word is bond and for as long as you have known me, you have too. 

NICE! 

The worst thing about this responsibility you force me to bear is when you come to me confident, borderline cocky and I rip you to shreds.  I tell you all about yourself in less than a minute.  Of course, then I am left to deal with your anger, confusion, panic and etc.  Please!  Get it together.  I didn’t ask you to seek me out in the first place!  Don’t make me have to deal with that!  What’s that saying?  Don’t shoot the messenger!  I am not going to change how I deliver information to you just because it affects you so!  You are either going to have to learn how to deal or maybe you should stop seeking my opinion.

If you don’t like what I have to say, then get off my back!  There are plenty others out there who want to hear what i have to say…

With lots of taunting and jeering,

Your Bathroom Scale

That’s a cute way of me saying, “Did you miss me?” 

I missed you!

Honestly, I try not to disappear and soon it will not happen at all but when it does, know that I am thinking of you too. 

I think things like:  I wonder if they would like this, or this?  I wonder how I could talk about this without offending someone or better yet…could I offend someone? hehe

But I have been absent for a great reason:  I have a huge teleseminar series coming on Nutrition and I have been doing many things behind the scenes to prepare for it.  Beginning Thursday night, and for various nights per week for the next 4 weeks, I will be conducting 1 hour long teleseminars on the nutrition topics that clients always ask me about.  Everything from menu planning to pre and post workout nutrition.  Each hour will be packed to the rim with the latest information and tricks of the trade in the diet industry.  I canNOT wait!

This Thursday is menu planning and it is already off to a great start because it is sold out!! WOOP WOOP! Get ready to open up your food choices, add up your macros, stagger your foods throughout the day and manage your fats.  Learn how to eat outside of the sport of dieting. 

The full schedule is as follows:

7/16  Menu Planning

7/20  Pre and Post Workout

7/22 Supplements

7/26 Industry Expert

7/30 Week of Event

8/10 Eating for Performance

8/13 Dieting Year Round

8/16 Dieting with Conditions (PCOS, IBS, etc.)

If you are interested in listening in on any of these topics, you can check out the full description and register here:

http://clients.mindbodyonline.com/ws.asp? studioid=2948&stype=-8

I would love to “see” you there.  If you join in, hit me up here and let me know what you think!