Oh it’s about that time.

You know…when we stop being so serious about hormones, looks and such and discuss what’s really on our minds:  bad driving!

Oh you know it bothers you!  If it doesn’t, then you are who I am about to talk about!hehe

In this day and age, we need to be careful of stress.  Free radical damage is serious and having high levels of cortisol can cause your hormones to go out of whack (thereby causing unnecessary weight gain) and your body to be off kilter.  So how can we keep this happening?  GET RID OF THESE BAD DRIVERS!

OH HEAR ME WHEN I SPEAK, PLEASE!

If you think a stop sign secretly reads PARK–I am talking to you!  Please don’t camp out at these things!  They did not want you to stay for long so they made the sign short:  STOP.  Not…STOP AND READ THIS SIGN FOR 10 MIN WHILE CONTEMPLATING THE FONT USED ON THE SIGN AND THE SPECIAL COLOR RED IT IS PAINTED ON.  You got me?  OY!

If your car goes from 0 to 60 in 5 min.–remove it from the road!  You are a hazard to society.  If I can run beside your car the whole time while you are trying to gain speed, you need some new pistons.  Honestly!

If you drive so slow that my 3 year old has to call you out: “Mama, why you behind dis’ slow poke?  MOVE! Mama, can you go pass him? Pass him, mama!  MOVE IT!”  It’s a shame folks but he’s learning early!

If you slow down to gawk at an accident I hope you pop a tire on any free flying glass!  It’s you clowns who cause 5:00 o’clock traffic!  In fact, you also slow down for tire changers AND disabled vehicles.  You deserve to run out of a gas on a long stretch of road…in the dark…in a foreign country…while it’s snowing…up hill…both ways…lol.

lastly…

If you cannot solve a rubiks cube with one hand while building a lego castle with the other, don’t talk on the phone while driving.  Clearly this task is beyond you.  I have had the luxury of seeing some outrageous things lately like talking on the phone while eating and driving a stick.  Actually, that was me, but I got it done!  Unlike these other yoyos who try it and end up 3 lanes over straddling 2 lanes at the same time.  This also applies to putting on make up while driving too!  Honestly, lip liner is meant to line your lips–not trace your major facial features!  Try a mirror in your bathroom please…

Keeping your stress levels down is key to a beautiful face and body.  I recommend that you pull over, stop the car and help a fellow brother or sister out by turning the car off.  Walk to the nearest bus stop and get on.  Suddenly, they will notice fine lines and wrinkles disappearing and their youthful glow will be back.  It’s time for you to give back to others and get off of the road.  This has been a public service announcement from your local annoyed trainer/nutritionist.  Peace!

I want to just sum up the teleseminar I just did tonight on metabolism and nutrition:

FUN!

There will obviously be more of that coming so please stay tuned!!  A whole series is coming out this summer.

In the mean time, stay healthy and stay beautiful!!  EAT SOME GOOD FAT!

WOOP WOOP!!:o)

WARNING:  THIS IS CONTROVERSIAL AND MAY OFFEND SOME (can’t wait–let her rip!)

Honestly, as I age I realize how much I have truly changed over the years and how differently I look at things.  I can’t even say for sure that I look at things differently as much as it’s more that I will tell you EXACTLY what I am thinking if you ask me.  Back in the day I might try to sugar coat my opinion and make you feel better about yourself even though whatever you asked me deserved an answer that should make you cry.  Back then I would buffer it.  Now, if you ask me a question that could have a less-than-pretty answer I just fire away and wait to see if you’re still standing once the smoke clears.  YIKES.

Now you might ask yourself where this is coming from and you know I am going to tell you! 

I just got back from a fitness competition that is a pretty good size.  Tons of women from all over the country vying for a top spot in a beauty/body pageant.  Sounds like a pretty standard thing…and maybe it is.  But what really is standard to me is the lack of awareness from many of the girls who either participate in the show or watch the show regarding their own personal beauty or personal fitness level.

Now before I delve into an all out rant, let me tell you who I am.  I am an almost 40, somewhat attractive, ex athlete who is more in her glory days than fitness buff right now.  I am not a foodist but I am very healthy in my approach to food choices yet at the same time can somewhat struggle with my overall relationship with food (I am a starver–not anorexic!–no ED here…just lazy about eating).  I am not down on myself in any way–I am a realist–so when I say I am a  big girl I don’t want anyone giving me a hard time about “loving myself” no matter what…yadda yadda yadda…blow it out your backside!LOL!!  In summary, I am not perfect so you’re going to wonder where I get off saying what I am about to say… so what, keep wondering while I start my rant.haha

Rant:  At some time in our lives we need to be honest about who we are and either accept it for what it is or *change* it if you do not like it.  If you are a glamour girl then run with it.  If you are not, accept it or change it if you want to be.  I am NOT a glamour girl.  I can be very put together when I need to go somewhere, but I have to work at it.  I don’t have any fashion staples in my closet nor do I own more than 4 pairs of shoes–you read that right.  And you will never find me whining as to why I was never voted prom queen of my class either…I KNOW who I AM!  But there is a new movement of women out there that is really beginning to annoy me.  These are the ones that cannot acknowledge (notice I did not say ‘accept’) that there is a pecking order in life.  I am not saying that the pecking order is right or fair, I am only saying that it is there and you need to acknowledge it if you want to get past it. 

What is a pecking order?  This is the unspoken rule about who is the prettiest in a group.  The most popular.  The one with the natural talent and grace.  You know–not you, basically.lol  She is the one that is going to win a show whether she preps for it or not.  You, on the other hand, are going to do everything right:  diet, exercise, get your hair and nails did, tan perfectly and have a decent suit and you still won’t get a look-see from the judges!  Again, am I saying this is fair?  No–but it’s reality.  Now I am not really even interested in the show aspect of what I am saying here.  I am just using this as an example.  What I am really referring to is the woman who is going to call me to the carpet as a trainer or nutritionist about something that is purely genetics–not diet or training related and act as if it is my fault.

Woman in denial (WID): “I want washboard abs.”

Trainer wishing for death (TWFD): “That takes a lot of work and dedication.”

(WID): “Well she has washboard abs and she only does cardio 3 days a week”.

(TWFD):  “She’s 20, you’re 40…big difference…and honestly, she’s probably doing a lot more than 3 days of cardio”. 

(WID):  “I read that if I did a 10 day detox diet I could start to see my abs”.

(TWFD):  thinking: where’s my rifle? but saying, “You have completely different genetics than her…”

WHY?  Why do you do it to us?  What we truly want to say is, “You will never get there.  She is gifted.  You are not. Acknowledge it (not accept–acknowledge) and move on.”  You won’t have her glutes.  You will never have her abs.  Your skin is nothing like hers.  Face it, you have other talents like being a good listener and scrapbooking–why mess with it? 

All kidding aside, I am not trying to be mean here.  Just honest.  If you think you are Halley Berry and you are really Wanda Sykes, I may have to tell you about yourself.  Please don’t make me have to do it.  Take time out of your day to find out where you are in the pecking order and either accept it or fix it.  But constantly coveting thy neighbor’s goods is not healthy nor is it productive.  Every woman has something to offer.  Be honest with yourself as to what is a true asset of yours and then highlight it.  Whatever you do, don’t ask me…because I just have to tell you about yourself!

I have a new love.

No, not a passion like yesterday.  I’ve moved on–keep up!

No…this is a new love.  It’s yoga.

This is huge for me.  I am so not the yoga type.  Nothing I do in life is slow, methodical and calculated like yoga.  I do not like slow songs, I can not go to the movies and just sit and watch a movie, I have a hard time sitting still for long periods of time so I find that I barely sit throughout the day.  But I am completely smitten with yoga. 

Am I getting old?  Or am I just growing up?

I have not been practicing long and I am a knotted ball right now, but still: I am a woman on a mission and that mission is flexibility, peace, calm…  I want to bring something worthwhile to my “mat”.  I find that I am too new to truly *relax* into my sacred time right now but I am getting better and better at it.  Every so often I actually catch myself getting into my breathing or experiencing a new amount of flexibility I didn’t have before.  It’s exciting–and I need exciting right now.

It is so easy for us to burn out on a love or passion.  I love lifting and I have a passion for it, but I also need to back off of it every so often to just *breathe*.  Step away so that when I return I still love it for what it is:  mine, raw, fun, challenging.  If I hit it day in and day out and do my own programming, I am so over myself that I literally talk to myself in the gym saying things like “do you train all your clients this way and are you always this boring?”haha  So yoga has provided a much needed refuge for me to be able to go within and challenge myself (umm…try any advanced pose and you’ll see what I mean) without having to depend on the usual standby’s of increased weight or zany training techniques. 

What are you going to try this week that will open up a new horizon for you?  I am challenging you to find something and then let me know what you chose.  We have a job to do and that’s to transform ourselves!  So hop to it!

Oh please say you have one!

Every woman needs something that gets her all in a flurry just by mentioning it.  What’s yours?

Honestly, I have a few.  Anyone who knows me knows about my pen and journal fetish, my love for science of any kind, law and order (csi, closer, ncis, getting the hint here?), houghton’s pond and the number one passion right now…

MAKE UP!

Oy vey!  Ladies, if you are going to go through the trouble of dieting, working out, being health oriented then daggonit–LOOK GOOD AT THE END! 

Again, I am not saying this is for everyone…but it sure as heck is for me right now.  Want me to become starried eyed on you?  Tell me what you deadlift AND what your favorite dazzleglass is!haha!  Need me to read your email before everyone else’s?  Put Important in the headline alongside–FREE MAKE UP! Now you really have my attention!

If I had my way, I would have every woman have one heck of a workout first thing in the morning.  You know…with pullups and everything!  Maybe a complex with 5 reps or less per move.  This chick would be smokin!  Then she’d have the bomb breakfast of crustless quiche with tomatoes, spinach and goat cheese with some seasonal fruit–umm…YUM!  And then she’d top the whole morning off with a shower and THE BEST make up application ever!  I am so serious here, ladies!  I almost needed to fan myself here for a minute after typing this!LOL 

What I typically see is the “either or” girl.  It’s either I am into making myself gorgeous or I’m into making myself fit–but I have no time for both.  Au contraire mon fraire! (sp? haha) 

Take your workouts and yourself seriously!  Meet me at the gym for a kickass set of squats and bring your credit card cuz we’re hitting Sephora right after!  Woop woop!

As I post more and more on my blog, I would love for you to let me know what you want to hear about.  I have a ton of stuff that I want to chat about but that’s not always what’s on your mind.  Let me know and I’ll be happy to help you out.  Find me on twitter:  http://twitter.com/PTEngineer or friend me on Facebook.  Happy blogging, my loves!

I am asked every day ‘what supplements should I be taking?’  I am always blown away by this question.  Mostly because those who ask me are typically eating the same foods day in and day out–and not necessarily bad, but definitely not close to the best diet out there.  But I get the draw to supplements:  let me take a pill that will solve my problem of having to think.  I don’t want to think about adding variety to my menu. I don’t want to think about eating lots of fruits and vegetables.  I don’t want to think of another type of starchy carb to eat so I will just eat oatmeal everyday, 3 times a day. 

Supplements solve problems.  Need your omegas?  Have a fish oil cap.  Brittle bones?  Try some calcium.  Knees hurt?  How about some glucosamine.  Whether it works or not, pills are simple.  Who wants to try and cook fish for some healthy omegas, resistance train for bone health or take care of their extremeties via icing, wrapping and proper foot wear.  For crying out loud, that’s work!

I think we should have supplements for everything:  Divorce?  Take a St. John’s Lawyer at least once a day to ensure a good settlement.  Unexpected pregancy in marriage?  Have 1000 mg of Emergen-C and quickly get some Calm yourself tea (decaffinated of course!).  Need to drop dime on a scandalous coworker?  Take 2 Milk Whistle (blowers) per day and avoid them in the lunch room. 

If only we could solve a million issues with suppies and it didn’t cost an arm and a leg, I would invest in a supplement company.  But they really don’t solve all those issues and most of the time they make a whole new set of issues for you instead.  I am not saying that multi vitamins and fish oil caps are a waste of time.  On the contrary, they are fabulous additions to your daily regimen.  All I am saying is before you want to invest $30 in the latest vitamin trend, clean up your own diet first.  It’s much more effective (and cheaper) in the long run.

I often speak about a “metabolic cup” that we have all been given.  This is a special cup.  Not the ‘over-the-top’ cup that Lil’ John walks around with while pimping his gold teeth or the Stanley cup from hockey.  No, this is a special cup.  It houses our beauty and our ability to be resilient and when we drain it of everything it has…we turn into pumpkins!

Have you ever found yourself saying something to the effect of, “I used to be able to eat anything”; “I used to always have good skin”; “I can’t do that anymore since having my kids”.  All of these are statements reflective of a cup that is emptying out faster than it is being replenished.  Caffeine, artificial sweeteners, sun damage, processed food, damaged fats, no fat, high carb/sugar and so on deplete your cup faster than you can say ‘Oil of Olay!’  You don’t really seem to notice until one day you are up 20 pounds but cannot seem to lose it no matter *what* you do, you have age spots or your skin is so dry you begin to flake while speaking to people. 

You can begin to restore your metabolic cup today if you like and there is only one food item that can do that for you:  Good Fats.  I love, love, love good fats and there are really only five out there:  nuts, nut butters and seeds, fatty fish, oils, soy and avocados.  If you can work a good fat into your diet everyday you can drastically reduce the emptying of your metabolic cup.  Salmon on a salad, avocado on a sandwich, nuts and raisins, real olive oil and vinegar as a dressing, soy nuts and Udo’s oil are all ways to work a good fat into your day.  If you want that dewy skin look or if you want to limit the amount of lotion you have to use after a shower, get some good fat in your diet today!

Since I am so hell bent on a beautiful body and face, I think it is worth me defining what I mean by this.  Unfortunately, our culture/country is obsessed with our outward appearance in a very negative manner.  Being thin seems to be worshipped as well as being young.  Both of these traits garner much attention in the media so they create a sort of undercurrent of pressure for the average woman.  We tend to worry about how we look in a certain outfit, whether we can compete with those “20 somethings” or if we are still acceptable in some men’s eyes.  This is not what I mean by being beautiful. 

One of the most attractive things to me is a woman is “good” with who she is, how she looks and how she presents herself.  She may be 20 pounds more than the ideal but she dresses like a fashionista so you would never know.  She could be 60 years old, but her skin makes her look 52.  She might be 45 but her attitude is that of a 30 year old.  Beauty defined by the dictionary:  The quality that gives pleasure to the mind or senses and is associated with such properties as harmony of form or color, excellence of artistry, truthfulness, and originality.  Beauty defined by me:  taking excellent care of one’s health via food, exercise and supplementation; presenting the best package that you have been given sole rights to by nature.  You cannot get any better than this. 

I want to make it very clear that vanity is not where I am going with any of this.  You do not have to spend hours in front of the mirror or spends thousands on a wardrobe.  You could be a jock in heels with not a care in the world about how you dress but your skin is amazing and your teeth are healthy.  Or you could be a book worm that wears glasses and is addicted to sweat pants but your nails are healthy and your estrogen levels are where they should be.  All of this to me is beauty. 

Being thin does not mean you are beautiful—in fact, it’s quite the contrary.  Most thin people (as a result of perpetual dieting) are very unhealthy.  Being high maintenance with hair appointments and body treatments does not mean you are beautiful—usually it means you need to get over yourself. J  I could go on and on but I think you get my point.  Beauty means that your body is functioning at its fullest potential because you gave it everything you had in terms of outside resources and it is reaping the benefits from that pampering.

Next time you notice how soft your skin is, how regular your cycle is, how even your moods are, how strong your nails seem, how great your memory is at that time, how normal your blood pressure and cholesterol is, how strong your sex drive is and how agile you are at your age, and all of these things got that way because your diet is healthy and you exercise, I want you to think to yourself:  dang, I’m beautiful!

It is a rarity nowadays to speak to any woman who isn’t on some sort of diet.  Low carb, no carb, South Beach, cookie, Blood Type—you name it, they’re on it!  There is no shortage of deprivation and suffering amongst us women!  But there is a very serious shortage of information out there of how to diet to be beautiful.  Face it, when you get to the end of your diet, don’t you want to look good, too?

I have dieted many women in my short 15 year career.  I honestly can put that number in the thousands and still be very accurate.   Over the years I have seen more and more of a sense of desperation among woman:  an “At all cost” approach to dieting.  It really disturbs me simply because when you get to that stage your sense of judgment goes out the window.  When did this become so prevalent?

I don’t know about you but when I reach my diet destination, not only do I want to be the size I desire to be, but I also want to be healthy and beautiful at the same time.  Dieting, however, is not very healthy and you are lucky if you come out of it without a major case of wrinkles, loose skin and brittle hair–or even worse, hormone issues.   What’s missing in our diet adventures that causes us to look like a vagabond when we declare “scale victory”?  I would have to say attention to detail.

The foods you choose (or do not choose) can have more of an impact on your diet experience than the actual diet itself.  I hear so many people going back and forth over carbohydrates and whether they should have grains vs. potatoes but that has so little to do with you looking hot at the end.  And let’s be honest here, how many women really want to suffer through a diet only to come out haggard and beastly?  Why bother?  I would much rather be fat, happy and gorgeous then skinny, deprived and wretched!  Heck—if that was my only choice I would say bring on the Krispy Kreme!  Hair must be shiny, skin has to be dewy, nails long and healthy—and my cycle better be regular! 

I will be talking about this A LOT!  So many foods to cover, so many diets to pick apart…all with one thing in common:  beauty!  You need to look good mama!  And looking good is not about facial features or the prettiest girl in the classroom.  Beauty is about health—inside and out.  Hormones that work properly so that your hair, skin and nails shine;  healthy teeth and bones so they last a long time; make up that compliments your skin and preserves the environment.   Ladies, it’s time to get fit AND gorgeous!!  WOOP WOOP!