June 28th, 2009
by Jodi · Filed Under: Ramblings
Oh it’s about that time.
You know…when we stop being so serious about hormones, looks and such and discuss what’s really on our minds: bad driving!
Oh you know it bothers you! If it doesn’t, then you are who I am about to talk about!hehe
In this day and age, we need to be careful of stress. Free radical damage is serious and having high levels of cortisol can cause your hormones to go out of whack (thereby causing unnecessary weight gain) and your body to be off kilter. So how can we keep this happening? GET RID OF THESE BAD DRIVERS!
OH HEAR ME WHEN I SPEAK, PLEASE!
If you think a stop sign secretly reads PARK–I am talking to you! Please don’t camp out at these things! They did not want you to stay for long so they made the sign short: STOP. Not…STOP AND READ THIS SIGN FOR 10 MIN WHILE CONTEMPLATING THE FONT USED ON THE SIGN AND THE SPECIAL COLOR RED IT IS PAINTED ON. You got me? OY!
If your car goes from 0 to 60 in 5 min.–remove it from the road! You are a hazard to society. If I can run beside your car the whole time while you are trying to gain speed, you need some new pistons. Honestly!
If you drive so slow that my 3 year old has to call you out: “Mama, why you behind dis’ slow poke? MOVE! Mama, can you go pass him? Pass him, mama! MOVE IT!” It’s a shame folks but he’s learning early!
If you slow down to gawk at an accident I hope you pop a tire on any free flying glass! It’s you clowns who cause 5:00 o’clock traffic! In fact, you also slow down for tire changers AND disabled vehicles. You deserve to run out of a gas on a long stretch of road…in the dark…in a foreign country…while it’s snowing…up hill…both ways…lol.
If you cannot solve a rubiks cube with one hand while building a lego castle with the other, don’t talk on the phone while driving. Clearly this task is beyond you. I have had the luxury of seeing some outrageous things lately like talking on the phone while eating and driving a stick. Actually, that was me, but I got it done! Unlike these other yoyos who try it and end up 3 lanes over straddling 2 lanes at the same time. This also applies to putting on make up while driving too! Honestly, lip liner is meant to line your lips–not trace your major facial features! Try a mirror in your bathroom please…
Keeping your stress levels down is key to a beautiful face and body. I recommend that you pull over, stop the car and help a fellow brother or sister out by turning the car off. Walk to the nearest bus stop and get on. Suddenly, they will notice fine lines and wrinkles disappearing and their youthful glow will be back. It’s time for you to give back to others and get off of the road. This has been a public service announcement from your local annoyed trainer/nutritionist. Peace!