March 30th, 2009
by Jodi · Filed Under: Ramblings
I had one of the best conversations with a client the other day, albeit short, it was a great topic: she wanted to know if she could “fire” a friend. You know I said, “Heck ya!” Ha! Read on…
You know if I could fire friends I would have my own personal unemployment office with reps capable of handling everything from backstabbing to gossip mongers, but that is not where I am headed with this one. Really what I am referring to is “dead weight”. Do you rid yourself of the friend who is not on the same path as you when it comes to diet and exercise?
Friends are supposed to be with each other through thick and thin. You have this imaginary person in your life that you are told about all your life that will see you through to the end. She’ll pick you up when you fall, laugh when you laugh and cry when you cry. But no one told you about when you order a salad and she gets a plate of fettucini alfredo with rolls and butter. Now what? Beat her down in the ladies room in between the main course and dessert? Tell her she’s a jerk and she’s completely insensitive to your needs while you secretly wish saddlebags and loose skin on her?
Honestly, nothing is harder than having to decide on whether you keep a good friend as “good” when your lifestyles begin to separate. And you know what I am really about to say here…no one said life was easy either. Getting rid of dead weight is essential to moving forward with your fitness lifestyle. You do not have to be mean about it and you can even try to bring her along at first. But when you finally realize that it is you against the girl–cut her loose like a small fish tieing up your line on an ocean fishing trip.
You would be amazed at how easy it is for one Debbie Downer to sidetrack your goals for months and sometimes years. Your desire to placate her will always trump your own needs and soon you will be enveloped by her insecurities and negativities. At some point you are going to have to “break up” with her.
Now please do not tell her I told you to do that. I have enough problems as it is. But do tell her that your lifestyle is changing and you need to be able to participate in it freely without feeling guilty or inhibited in any way. She won’t understand at first and she will resent you, but eventually, if she is a true friend, she will either get on board or get out of the way.
And if she doesn’t, beat her down between the main course and the dessert. Make sure you get it on film, please. I will vicariously through you!LOL